I would very much love to SHOVE MY GIGANTIC, THROBBING DICKEY right up your ass. See, here it is: 8======PENIS!======D Now, bend over and receive your prize!
2002. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out its a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all first posts.
2002. CmdrTaco married to Kathleen Fent. Many geeks believe Kathleen, a purported transvestite, outmeasures CmdrTaco.
2002. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it.
2003. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God.
2003. Papperatzi videos of Miguel de Icaza caught going down on Bill Gates in his private yacht spread across Usenet. Miguel swears that recent decisions to rename the Gnome desktop to Windows NT 6.0 have nothing to do with it.
2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity.
2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: Lick my crotch hairs. Slashdot, despite running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0 servers, buckles under the load. The term Slashdotted is replaced with WIPO-Trolled.
2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.
2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, an empty tub of crisco and several used condoms. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Steve Ballmer.
2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again.
2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.
2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again. With a woman.
2007. BSD is still officially dying. No word on when its demise will take place.
2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.
2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time.
2009. After years of living under the heel of his domineering wife, and being deprived of the homosexual orgies of the past, CmdrTaco commits suicide. Another sweaty geek mob gathers and tears Kathleen Fent to shreds. Geeks discover Ms. Fent was indeed a woman, but dont exactly know what that means. Driven by their sexually-repressed rage, they subsequently invade Redmond again and lynch the current CEO of Microsoft, Miguel de Icaza.
2010. Microsoft is blamed for the assassination of Richard Stallman. Redmond invasions by geek hordes become commonplace.
2011. Microsoft campus burnt to the ground by screaming, unwashed geek mob after Microsoft is blamed when a Linux hacker in Cambridge, Massachusetts spills his coffee on his pants.
If you block IMAGES.SLASHDOT.ORG you lose all the Slashdot images, too, you FUCKING DICKSLURP. Install JUNKBUSTER and block just/*.*/BANNER/... you stupid JIZZ-MOP.
Except no one will read it unless they've requested it... when's the last time you requested a piece of spam? You stupid JIZZ-MONKEY, go back to playing with your Gnutella...
404 errors? Seriously? I thought that 404 report was just some crapfloodery going on. Anyway, back to ridiculing Slashdot's new attempt at losing money.
You've annoyed the SHIT out of me with that big, annoying, obnoxious ad in my way! Please, allow me to pay you my HARD-EARNED money! Is $5 enough? Maybe if you use full screen Flash ads I'll feel the overpowering need to give you $100!!!
"Please, pay us money, or we'll ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU WITH ADS!!! Please buy this product from our partner AFTER THEY ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU WITH THEIR HUGE, ANIMATED AD!!! Thank you, come again!"
Another dotcom business model with FUCKTARD spraypainted all over it. Welcome to the new economy.
It's called "annoying your customers into buying your product." See, the madder they make you, and the more obnoxious they are, the more you, the stupid consumer, will pay them! Welcome to the new economy. Of course, all I see is this: SQUISH.
Slashdot Mirror
I would very much love to SHOVE MY GIGANTIC, THROBBING DICKEY right up your ass. See, here it is:
8======PENIS!======D
Now, bend over and receive your prize!
More SLOP they want us to pay for. SLOPDOT!!!! Now with BIG UGLY SQUARE ADS!!!
You, sir, need to SLURP ON MY PHALLUS. That's it, boy. Harder. Harder...
from the need-a-big-red-hat dept.
Here, wanna borrow mine? *whips his RED HAT out of his pants and points it in your eye*
.
.
.
Enjoy!! *squirt*
Oh, and one more thing. You're a TACO-SNOTTER, aren't you? Admit it... I know one when I see one...
I only have one thing to say... Good for you, you KNOB-POLISHING, COCK-GARGLING... JIZZ-MOP!
:)
Starting!? It's already collapsed, it's more in the PUTREFYING stage now...
Oh, and: BITCHSLAP THIS!!! *pulls out his 8==========D*
Downloading KIDDIE PORN, of course. What do you think they want it for???
"(C)"...? No matter how much the RIAA types want it, copyright will never be a machine-native language.
If you block IMAGES.SLASHDOT.ORG you lose all the Slashdot images, too, you FUCKING DICKSLURP. Install JUNKBUSTER and block just /*.*/BANNER/... you stupid JIZZ-MOP.
Except no one will read it unless they've requested it... when's the last time you requested a piece of spam? You stupid JIZZ-MONKEY, go back to playing with your Gnutella...
FUCK you.
I said... FUCK you!!
What ad? All I see is whitespace and this mysterious little red [X]...
It was that, or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best...
Lo0o0ol...!!
Try GPLing it. According to the OpenSauce crowd, it cures everything else.
404 errors? Seriously? I thought that 404 report was just some crapfloodery going on. Anyway, back to ridiculing Slashdot's new attempt at losing money.
You've annoyed the SHIT out of me with that big, annoying, obnoxious ad in my way! Please, allow me to pay you my HARD-EARNED money! Is $5 enough? Maybe if you use full screen Flash ads I'll feel the overpowering need to give you $100!!!
"Please, pay us money, or we'll ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU WITH ADS!!! Please buy this product from our partner AFTER THEY ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU WITH THEIR HUGE, ANIMATED AD!!! Thank you, come again!"
Another dotcom business model with FUCKTARD spraypainted all over it. Welcome to the new economy.
Where...? All I see is whitespace.
It's called "annoying your customers into buying your product." See, the madder they make you, and the more obnoxious they are, the more you, the stupid consumer, will pay them! Welcome to the new economy. Of course, all I see is this: SQUISH.
Suck my schlong.
Bam!