2002. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out it's a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all "first posts."
2002. CmdrTaco married.
2002. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it.
2003. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God.
2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity.
2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: "Lick my crotch hairs." Slashdot, despite running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0 servers, buckles under the load. The term "Slashdotted" is replaced with "WIPO-Trolled."
2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.
2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, a tub of crisco and several used condoms.
2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again.
2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.
2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again.
2007. BSD is still officially "dying." No word on when its demise will take place.
2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.
2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time.
Moderation Totals: Troll=5, Insightful=1, Funny=2, Total=8. Someone beat it down hard. ("It" not referring to his dick, or Kathleen, this time at least.)
They've just finished their NIGHTLY HOMOSEXUAL ORGY and came back to the cum-splattered computer to take one more look at Slashdot and get off by hitting the OFFTOPIC button. So, how's the FUCKING with our Lord and Master of Mexican Food Products? Has he tried to TACOSNOT* you yet?
* Used without permission from Ol' WIPO. He's dead, who cares?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Dear God!!! I'm blind!!! I mean,... Sweet Jesus! Aaaah uhh uhuhh.... I don't think I'm ever going to be able to... Holy mother of GOD!!... get my dick up again. Eeeeeccchhh!!! Kill me now.
I just heard the sad news on the radio. The #2 Linux kernel hacker ANAL COCKS was found dead in his home this morning. There aren't many details yet, but it appears he died from AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION. Even if you never liked his work, you can appreciate what he did to little boys with his -ac branches of the Linux kernel and his MODPROBE. Truly a HOMOSEXUAL LINUX icon. He will be missed.:(
I just heard the sad news on the radio. The #2 Linux kernel hacker ANAL COCKS was found dead in his home this morning. There aren't many details yet, but it appears he died from AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION. Even if you never liked his work, you can appreciate what he did to little boys with his -ac branches of the Linux kernel and his MODPROBE. Truly a HOMOSEXUAL LINUX icon. He will be missed.:(
Wow! ANAL COX posted to Slashdot! Hey, ANAL MAN! How ya doin', man! No hard feelings about the "Anal Cocks" jokes, mmkay? Or the pedophile jokes. Or the death stuff. Or the goats. Hmm...
Since the Fascist, incompetent, pretzel-choking DICKSLURP in the white house (and all the DICKSLURPS you "voted" for) signed this -- and this overrides NATIONAL LAWS. Now do you get it?
Actually, the idea is that since the music CAN BE EASILY COPIED, it should be. You STUPID HOMOSEXUAL FLAMING NEWBIE. Y'know, it's like the logic, "Since I can easily rob a bank, I should," or "Since I can easily kill you, I should." CLEAR now?
WIPO is a guy who used to troll Slashdot. Now they hate him with a vengeance. That's all. MICHAEL THE NAZI is pissed because WIPO posted pictures of him humping Taco's wife with his MICROPENIS (penis).
WIPO is a SLASHDOT TROLL. I know exactly who he is, and he is evil.
Although the WIPO Troll disappeared in March 2001, he came back in December! Then he disappeared again. The WIPO Troll is basically a CRAPFLOODER for Slashdot. He exists to "spew feces all over Slashdot until CmdrTaco drowns in them."
Slashdot Mirror
Actually, it's properly spelled CORPORATE ANAL-RAPISM. In American English, at least.
No, Jeff "Homos" Masterbates is the HOMO. Michael is a friggin' FASCIST NAZI who gets off on WHACKING YOUR POSTS TO -1. He also likes GOATS.
CMDRFUCKO'S WIFE is polishing my knob as I write this! UNDER THE DESK!
In the US, the Law gets its authority from democratically elected government.
You... still believe this? Lemme guess... you just took your first high school civics class, right?
Moderation Totals: Troll=5, Insightful=1, Funny=2, Total=8. Someone beat it down hard. ("It" not referring to his dick, or Kathleen, this time at least.)
Cascaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade!!
C'mon, we did it all the time back in Usenet!!
You enjoy TEH PENIS!?
Here is TEH PENIS for you to put in yuor mouth!!!
Suck on TEH PENIS you biatch!!
They've just finished their NIGHTLY HOMOSEXUAL ORGY and came back to the cum-splattered computer to take one more look at Slashdot and get off by hitting the OFFTOPIC button. So, how's the FUCKING with our Lord and Master of Mexican Food Products? Has he tried to TACOSNOT* you yet?
* Used without permission from Ol' WIPO. He's dead, who cares?
I voted for The WIPO Troll.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Dear God!!! I'm blind!!! I mean, ... Sweet Jesus! Aaaah uhh uhuhh.... I don't think I'm ever going to be able to ... Holy mother of GOD!!... get my dick up again. Eeeeeccchhh!!! Kill me now.
I just heard the sad news on the radio. The #2 Linux kernel hacker ANAL COCKS was found dead in his home this morning. There aren't many details yet, but it appears he died from AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION. Even if you never liked his work, you can appreciate what he did to little boys with his -ac branches of the Linux kernel and his MODPROBE. Truly a HOMOSEXUAL LINUX icon. He will be missed. :(
I just heard the sad news on the radio. The #2 Linux kernel hacker ANAL COCKS was found dead in his home this morning. There aren't many details yet, but it appears he died from AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION. Even if you never liked his work, you can appreciate what he did to little boys with his -ac branches of the Linux kernel and his MODPROBE. Truly a HOMOSEXUAL LINUX icon. He will be missed. :(
I'm sure he would appreciate that.
This treaty may override the FIRST AMENDMENT, but it doesn't seem to do squat to the SECOND AMENDMENT. Use that one while you still can.
You really know how to take a particular idea and beat it to death, don't you?
Wow! ANAL COX posted to Slashdot! Hey, ANAL MAN! How ya doin', man! No hard feelings about the "Anal Cocks" jokes, mmkay? Or the pedophile jokes. Or the death stuff. Or the goats. Hmm...
Since the Fascist, incompetent, pretzel-choking DICKSLURP in the white house (and all the DICKSLURPS you "voted" for) signed this -- and this overrides NATIONAL LAWS. Now do you get it?
Actually, the idea is that since the music CAN BE EASILY COPIED, it should be. You STUPID HOMOSEXUAL FLAMING NEWBIE. Y'know, it's like the logic, "Since I can easily rob a bank, I should," or "Since I can easily kill you, I should." CLEAR now?
Hi. Do you ... do you like PENIS in your mouth? Okay, bye.
WIPO is a guy who used to troll Slashdot. Now they hate him with a vengeance. That's all. MICHAEL THE NAZI is pissed because WIPO posted pictures of him humping Taco's wife with his MICROPENIS (penis).
That's a nice home directory. Any KIDDIE PORN in there?
Mark my words, the WIPO Troll will be back someday.
WIPO is a SLASHDOT TROLL. I know exactly who he is, and he is evil.
Although the WIPO Troll disappeared in March 2001, he came back in December! Then he disappeared again. The WIPO Troll is basically a CRAPFLOODER for Slashdot. He exists to "spew feces all over Slashdot until CmdrTaco drowns in them."
Forget what ANAL COX thinks of this, what does the WIPO TROLL think!? Where is he?!