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User: RoboTroll

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Comments · 274

  1. All your penises look great today!!! on It's (Almost) Hammer Time · · Score: -1
    I once had a penis sing to me

    His Penis Penis song

    And when that Penis Penis sang

    Here was the Penis's song

    He'd sing me..."

    All: "Penis, penis, penis, penis

    Penis, penis song.

    Penis, penis, penis, penis

    Penis all day long.

    Penis, penis, penis, penis..."

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  2. Ad-Free version of the article on The Problem Of Developing · · Score: -1
    Here is a link to the ad-free version with no banner ads:

    Ad-Free Version

    Moderation Totals : Funny, 12 ; Insightful, 37 ; Informative, 23 ; Troll, 0 ; Flamebait, 0

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  3. My Pascal Programs are no match for your fury!! on Is The Net At Fault For Illegal Filesharing? · · Score: -1
    Program SucksDot;

    Var
    x:boolean;
    y:string[1];
    begin
    y:='';
    Write('Does CmdrTaco Suck Cock? ');
    read(y);
    if (y='y') or (y='Y') then
    x:=true else
    x:=false;
    If x=true then writeln('you are correct!') else
    writeln('you are an ass gnome!');
    end.



    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  4. You swine. on MySQL AB and Nusphere Go to Court Over GPL · · Score: -1, Troll
    You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

    You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

    You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.

    I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

    Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

    You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

    You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

    And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements
    of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
    waiting for the bite of the snake?

    You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

    On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

    You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

    You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

    I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride
    your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

    The only thing worse than our logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.


    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  5. About the Troll Library on MPAA Wants Copy-Controlled PCs · · Score: -1
    In my development of the Troll Library and the Troll Library Technology, I have received many questions and concerns in reference to the Troll Library and its use on Slashdot. The intention of this post is to "clear the air" of the misunderstandings and incorrect assumptions which have been posited about the Troll Library.

    What is the Troll Library?

    The Troll Library is a database of the best and brightest trolls of Slashdot history. The database is SQL 2000 and is managed by Microsoft C# using .NET technology.

    How can the Troll Library be accessed?

    The Troll Library is not yet available online, but it will eventually be made publicly available in the form of a .NET web service-- That means that you will be able to browse the library and submit your additions with your web browser (yes, even an inferior piece of shit like Mozilla, since Microsoft for some reason chose to include "down-level" compatibility with their web services in .NET).

    What's the ultimate goal of the Troll Library?

    To crapflood Slashdot into oblivion using Microsoft technologies.

    What does the Slashdot community think about this?

    Using Microsoft .NET to annihilate Slashdot really pisses off the Slashdot community, which is hilarous.

    Do you sit around and read Slashdot all day?

    Of course not. The client troll poster bot automatically detects a new story on Slashdot, selects a post from the Troll Library database, and submits it to Slashdot. The client is written purely in C# using Windows Forms in .NET. It would be impossible for Slashdot server to detect the presence of the bot, except for the "Dirty Linux Users:Are Hippies" header.

    What if they crack down?

    If the 'editors' (I use the term loosely) were to ban the RoboTroll or Troll Library posts, the posting client would have to become open source and avialable to everyone. The irony and humor is very rich indeed.

    How can I help?

    The single biggest need is a .NET server with the bandwidth capable of being slashdotted. Please make your plans and prepare accordingly; when the time comes, we want you to be ready. What you will receive is nothing more than a .ZIP file to unzip to your inetpub\wwwroot folder.

    If you are running Apache or some other open source derivative piece of shit, I can only laugh at your sad ability to serve up plain ol' HTML. You sad and pathetic, and I fear for your future career-- or lack thereof. HAHAH!!!

    Thanks!!

    No - Thank you, the honorable and noble Trolls of slashdot, we all know that WE are the lifeblood of Slashdot itself, and it would wither and die without US .

    Do not attempt to email me (email is bullshit of course) or otherwise, just reply to this post; replies are automatically indexed and delivered to me.

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  6. My stupidity is reaching new heights. on Factoring Breakthrough? · · Score: -1
    Im not just confused; I am utterly baffled! therefore I am also quite stupid. And I say, again, once more : thanks for your time reading this. I bet you wish you had the last x seconds of your silly life back. HAHAH BITCH. Eat that.

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  7. Really Important News about Microsoft!! on W3C Revises Patent Royalty Policy · · Score: -1
    Read this. I cant believe this! I am switching to a GNU operating system today!

    There are folders on your computer that Microsoft has tried hard to keep secret. Within these folders you will find two major things: Microsoft Internet Explorer has not been clearing your browsing history after you have instructed it to do so, and Microsoft's Outlook Express has not been deleting your e-mail correspondence after you've erased them from your Deleted Items bin. (This also includes all incoming and outgoing file attachments.) And believe me, that's not even the half of it.


    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  8. All your penises look great today!!! on The Futility of Censorship · · Score: -1
    I once had a penis sing to me

    His Penis Penis song

    And when that Penis Penis sang

    Here was the Penis's song

    He'd sing me..."

    All: "Penis, penis, penis, penis

    Penis, penis song.

    Penis, penis, penis, penis

    Penis all day long.

    Penis, penis, penis, penis..."

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  9. Ad-Free version of the article on Lycoris Linux at ExtremeTech · · Score: -1
    Here is a link to the ad-free version with no banner ads:

    Ad-Free Version

    Moderation Totals : Funny, 12 ; Insightful, 37 ; Informative, 23 ; Troll, 0 ; Flamebait, 0

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  10. My Pascal Programs are no match for your fury!! on California Considering Recycling Fees on PCs · · Score: -1
    Program SucksDot;

    Var
    x:boolean;
    y:string[1];
    begin
    y:='';
    Write('Does CmdrTaco Suck Cock? ');
    read(y);
    if (y='y') or (y='Y') then
    x:=true else
    x:=false;
    If x=true then writeln('you are correct!') else
    writeln('you are an ass gnome!');
    end.



    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  11. Re:Slow down Cowboy! on Linux 2.4.18 Released · · Score: -1

    Dammit its ALIVE! The robotroll is A L I V E

  12. Rejected from Troll Library on "The Matrix" Website Updated · · Score: -1
    Dear Troll,

    We regret to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have declined to induct your troll into the Troll Library.

    You should promise and desire but need to work on your technique.

    Thank you for your time and please try again.

  13. My Pascal Programs are no match for your fury!! on "The Matrix" Website Updated · · Score: -1
    Program SucksDot;

    Var
    x:boolean;
    y:string[1];
    begin
    y:='';
    Write('Does CmdrTaco Suck Cock? ');
    read(y);
    if (y='y') or (y='Y') then
    x:=true else
    x:=false;
    If x=true then writeln('you are correct!') else
    writeln('you are an ass gnome!');
    end.



    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  14. Rejected from Troll Library on Palm on a Bicycle · · Score: -1
    Dear ,

    We regret to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have declined to induct your troll into the Troll Library.

    You should promise and desire but need to work on your technique.

    Thank you for your time and please try again.

  15. Rejected from Troll Library on Palm on a Bicycle · · Score: -1
    We regret to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have declined to induct your troll into the Troll Library.

    You should promise and desire but need to work on your technique.

    Thank you for your time and please try again.

  16. Added to Troll Library on That's All Folks: Chuck Jones RIP · · Score: -1

    Your excellent troll has been added to the Troll Library. Thank you for your contribution!

  17. Re:Hot damn...wish I had thought of that. on When Good Ebay'ers Go Bad · · Score: -1

    Hi how are ya Im fine thanks for asking.

  18. Re:About the Troll Library on The Future of MREs · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    You have some good ideas, and the design of the client and server engine of the Troll Library are such that it is expandable to the concepts you describe.

    But, lets stay realistic for now, good things come...

  19. About the Troll Library on The Future of MREs · · Score: -1, Troll
    In my development of the Troll Library and the Troll Library Technology, I have received many questions and concerns in reference to the Troll Library and its use on Slashdot. The intention of this post is to "clear the air" of the misunderstandings and incorrect assumptions which have been posited about the Troll Library.

    What is the Troll Library?

    The Troll Library is a database of the best and brightest trolls of Slashdot history. The database is SQL 2000 and is managed by Microsoft C# using .NET technology.

    How can the Troll Library be accessed?

    The Troll Library is not yet available online, but it will eventually be made publicly available in the form of a .NET web service-- That means that you will be able to browse the library and submit your additions with your web browser (yes, even an inferior piece of shit like Mozilla, since Microsoft for some reason chose to include "down-level" compatibility with their web services in .NET).

    What's the ultimate goal of the Troll Library?

    To crapflood Slashdot into oblivion using Microsoft technologies.

    What does the Slashdot community think about this?

    Using Microsoft .NET to annihilate Slashdot really pisses off the Slashdot community, which is hilarous.

    Do you sit around and read Slashdot all day?

    Of course not. The client troll poster bot will automatically detect a new story on Slashdot, select a post from the Troll Library database, and submit it to Slashdot. The client is written purely in C# using Windows Forms in .NET. It would be impossible for Slashdot server to detect the presence of the bot, except for the "Dirty Linux Users:Are Hippies" header.

    What if they crack down?

    If the 'editors' (I use the term loosely) were to ban the RoboTroll or Troll Library posts, the posting client would have to become open source and avialable to everyone. The irony and humor is very rich indeed.

    How can I help?

    The single biggest need is a .NET server with the bandwidth capable of being slashdotted. Please make your plans and prepare accordingly; when the time comes, we want you to be ready. What you will receive is nothing more than a .ZIP file to unzip to your inetpub\wwwroot folder.

    If you are running Apache or some other open source derivative piece of shit, I can only laugh at your sad ability to serve up plain ol' HTML. You sad and pathetic, and I fear for your future career-- or lack thereof. HAHAH!!!

    Thanks!!

    No - Thank you, the honorable and noble Trolls of slashdot, we all know that WE are the lifeblood of Slashdot itself, and it would wither and die without US .

    Do not attempt to email me (email is bullshit of course) or otherwise, just reply to this post; replies are automatically indexed and delivered to me.

    This troll was reposted from the Troll Library without permission of the original author. If you object to this post, or if you wish to add your troll to the Troll Library, please reply to this message.

  20. Added to Troll Library on Napster Finally Gets a Break · · Score: -1, Troll

    Your post has been added to the Troll Library. Thank your for your contribution.

  21. Re:You can have access to a mainframe running Linu on Sun Bashes Linux on (IBM) Mainframes · · Score: -1, Troll

    I am testing my ability to post.

  22. Dirty Linux Hippies are Dying on Recycling Vintage Alphas with Debian · · Score: -1, Troll
    Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Dirty GNU Hippie community when last month IDC confirmed that Rancid Smelling GNU Hippies account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all humans. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Natty haired greasy GNU Hippie have lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Reeking Linux Hippies are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [sysadminmag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive /usr/bin/sh test.

    You don't need to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict the future of the Stinking sweaty Linux hippie. The hand writing is on the wall: Foul-stenched GNU hippies with swampy armpits face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for them because they are dying. Things are looking very bad for Hairy-backed GNU hippie. As many of us are already aware, they continue to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

    Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

    Troll leader Anonymouse Coward states that there are 7000 goatse.cx trolls. How many ascii art trolls are there? Let's see. The number of goatse.cx versus ascii art posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 ascii art trolls. Pimply-faced GNU hippies posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of ascii art posts. Therefore there are about 700 Dirty GNU Hippies. A recent article put "first post" at about 80 percent of the troll market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 "first post" trolls. This is consistent with the number of first posts.

    All major surveys show that Putrid smelling greasy GNU hippies have steadily declined in market share. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Grubby Smelly Linux Hippies are to survive at all it will be among troll hobbyist dabblers. Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Dirty GNU Hippies are dead.

  23. Dirty Linux Hippies are Dying on Google Allows Sponsored Rankings...In Ads · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Dirty GNU Hippie community when last month IDC confirmed that Rancid Smelling GNU Hippies account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all humans. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Natty haired greasy GNU Hippie have lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Reeking Linux Hippies are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [sysadminmag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive /usr/bin/sh test.

    You don't need to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict the future of the Stinking sweaty Linux hippie. The hand writing is on the wall: Foul-stenched GNU hippies with swampy armpits face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for them because they are dying. Things are looking very bad for Hairy-backed GNU hippie. As many of us are already aware, they continue to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

    Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

    Troll leader Anonymouse Coward states that there are 7000 goatse.cx trolls. How many ascii art trolls are there? Let's see. The number of goatse.cx versus ascii art posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 ascii art trolls. Pimply-faced GNU hippies posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of ascii art posts. Therefore there are about 700 Dirty GNU Hippies. A recent article put "first post" at about 80 percent of the troll market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 "first post" trolls. This is consistent with the number of first posts.

    All major surveys show that Putrid smelling greasy GNU hippies have steadily declined in market share. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Grubby Smelly Linux Hippies are to survive at all it will be among troll hobbyist dabblers. Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Dirty GNU Hippies are dead.

  24. Dirty Linux Hippies are Dying on Apache Server Nears 2.0 · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Dirty GNU Hippie community when last month IDC confirmed that Rancid Smelling GNU Hippies account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all humans. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Natty haired greasy GNU Hippie have lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Reeking Linux Hippies are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [sysadminmag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive /usr/bin/sh test.

    You don't need to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict the future of the Stinking sweaty Linux hippie. The hand writing is on the wall: Foul-stenched GNU hippies with swampy armpits face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for them because they are dying. Things are looking very bad for Hairy-backed GNU hippie. As many of us are already aware, they continue to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

    Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

    Troll leader Anonymouse Coward states that there are 7000 goatse.cx trolls. How many ascii art trolls are there? Let's see. The number of goatse.cx versus ascii art posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 ascii art trolls. Pimply-faced GNU hippies posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of ascii art posts. Therefore there are about 700 Dirty GNU Hippies. A recent article put "first post" at about 80 percent of the troll market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 "first post" trolls. This is consistent with the number of first posts.

    All major surveys show that Putrid smelling greasy GNU hippies have steadily declined in market share. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Grubby Smelly Linux Hippies are to survive at all it will be among troll hobbyist dabblers. Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Dirty GNU Hippies are dead.