2003 Employment Outlook
What are you Really Worth?
In a breaking news flash, buzzword2.0 announces that the 2003 Employment Outlook still sucks. To confirm this claim, buzzword2.0 decided to interview all 127,000 people in the San Jose area unemployment line. To our surprise, 97.876 people said that after they got pinked slipped from their web programmer positions, life has truely sucked.
'I tried to get a job at BurgerBling,' states Joe Smith, 'but they said I was under qualified. Something about lack of any real skill. Now I'm here at the unemployment line.'
Jane Jones says, 'The biggest regret I had in college was to switch my major from deep sea basket english to CS (computers and stuff). I could be doing so much more for the world. But at least I'm making more here than at my previous job.'
buzzword2.0 decided to also interview managers regarding Outlook 2003. Most said that they weren't going to implement Outlook 2003 because they were happy with Outlook 98.
buzzword2.0 didn't stop here. We decided to interview upper management. Warren Whitecollar, senior VP of computers and stuff at International Layoff Machine stated, '[I] really don't know why I laid off 30% of my work force... I was golfing with my friend from Federated Slavery at the Kentucky Kountry Klub, and he told me he laid off 25% of his employees. So I just had to lay off more than him, and replace our help desk team with Indonesian Pigmy Chimps. It worked out great!'
Finally, buzzword2.0 interviewed the heart of Outlook 2003 Gloom... Wall Street. Here is the transcript of the interview we had with investment guru Rober Poorman:
B20: What do you think of the Outlook for 2003/2004?
RP: Sucks...
B20: Well, is it going to get better anytime soon?
RP: It's not really supposed to. We're still profiting off of 9/11 tragedy and the dot com boom we invented.
B20: What's that supposed to mean?
RP: It's kind of hard to find new investors, pardon me, I mean suckers to buy the new stocks we just printed up right now. Plus it'll take us at least a year to architect another 'boom', market it, hype it and sell it. This will give us enough time to print out a few million more shares. Rinse, lather, ripoff.
B20: That's horrible...
RP: I know. You want to buy some stock? Because if you're not, I'm late for a power lunch I'm hosting with some single mother's life savings.
b20: No! Well that concludes this article. Next week we'll publish Outlook 2003 2.0.
sun speak: I predict that now that we're calling their bluff, they will make up another excuse for not doing the tests, Philips says.
Translation: 'We may have *modified* the tests a little so you guys can't pass. Best of luck!'
sun speak:JBoss appears to be using software written by Sun.
Translation: 'We at Sun never use other people's codebase for our products (apache regex), it's wrong that JBoss does.'
sun speak: making the compliance test available will make it clear that Sun does not want to intentionally obstruct JBoss Group's efforts to gain J2EE compliance
Translation: 'We pray every night to the same God Microsoft does that JBoss burns itself to the ground. Linux should die to.'
The policy promotes the widespread implementation of W3C Recommendations first by making the W3C Royalty-Free License requirements clear and enforceable
Like all/any the other insane EULA's, web patents and service agreements floating out there, how is this enforceable? Like previous posts, w3c can't even 'enforce' the html standard. I'm sure that enforcing anything web related is high on the FBI's list of priorities.
Does the world really need Yet Another RAD Tool? I can't speak fully for the Swing/Awt world, but the medium-sized Java projects I've been on was developed with textpad and apache ant.
One of the beautiful things about Java/C++/SmallTalk is that you just can't start coding in it. For most people, it takes time to learn. But when you do learn it, and learn it correctly, you'll start to think in terms of coding for the sake of the interface, instead of coding for the hell of it.
With RAD tools, it's super easy to start coding what's in your head at the time being, making up classes and methods as you go. Why not global variables? You may start out coding for a prototype. This prototype doesn't get redesigned, let alone refactored for the actual implementation ('cause hey, we already have it 50% done). Then the next thing you know, you have bloatware. Then you leave your job, and some poor schmuck has to maintain your 'code'.
I didn't fully understand why you had to do so much in Swing to do so little until I read the GOF Patterns book. Most everything in the Swing API is an abstract pattern of some sort. When you create prototypes in Swing, you can't take a lot of things for granted. You actually have to think things through. And that, you just cannot rapidly do, initially.
But when you do understand the fundamentals, prototypes can be refactored or easily redesigned to fit the implementation. Of course, this means that the software engineer that develops the prototype must have some working knowledge of the API or framework. It means that you just can't have your average "learn XXXX in 24 hours" code monkey start the software process. It means RAD is not a tool, but a way of thinking. I professionally build prototypes for projects using textpad and ant. Much of which can be extended for the actual implementation.
"people publicly lament that Microsoft has virtually taken the Internet over"
How, may I ask, has MicroSuck taken the Internet over??? Last time I checked:
Apache has 60 some percent of the webserver market. IIS, 35%
BEA/IBM has 90% of the app server market (check out their web page), Microsoft, has close to none.
The language of the internet is Java/XML/HTML. Not this crap called.NET, for which market share is roughly 20% which no java shops want to convert (TheServerSide, Gartner)
One of the futures in web services is SOAP, initiated by MicroSuck by the w3c, my shop uses Apache SOAP/Axis. When the SOAP statistics comes out, I could almost bet the house that the Apache/IBM/etc solutions will dominate over M$.
The Database that backends the database is Oracle. Not SQLServer (Access# ?).
I write this crummy response on Opera version 6.x, not IE 5.x.
So, tell me again, how has Microsoft "taken over the Internet?"
Slashdot Mirror
2003 Employment Outlook What are you Really Worth?
In a breaking news flash, buzzword2.0 announces that the 2003 Employment Outlook still sucks. To confirm this claim, buzzword2.0 decided to interview all 127,000 people in the San Jose area unemployment line. To our surprise, 97.876 people said that after they got pinked slipped from their web programmer positions, life has truely sucked.
'I tried to get a job at BurgerBling,' states Joe Smith, 'but they said I was under qualified. Something about lack of any real skill. Now I'm here at the unemployment line.'
Jane Jones says, 'The biggest regret I had in college was to switch my major from deep sea basket english to CS (computers and stuff). I could be doing so much more for the world. But at least I'm making more here than at my previous job.'
buzzword2.0 decided to also interview managers regarding Outlook 2003. Most said that they weren't going to implement Outlook 2003 because they were happy with Outlook 98.
buzzword2.0 didn't stop here. We decided to interview upper management. Warren Whitecollar, senior VP of computers and stuff at International Layoff Machine stated, '[I] really don't know why I laid off 30% of my work force... I was golfing with my friend from Federated Slavery at the Kentucky Kountry Klub, and he told me he laid off 25% of his employees. So I just had to lay off more than him, and replace our help desk team with Indonesian Pigmy Chimps. It worked out great!'
Finally, buzzword2.0 interviewed the heart of Outlook 2003 Gloom... Wall Street. Here is the transcript of the interview we had with investment guru Rober Poorman:
B20: What do you think of the Outlook for 2003/2004?
RP: Sucks...
B20: Well, is it going to get better anytime soon?
RP: It's not really supposed to. We're still profiting off of 9/11 tragedy and the dot com boom we invented.
B20: What's that supposed to mean?
RP: It's kind of hard to find new investors, pardon me, I mean suckers to buy the new stocks we just printed up right now. Plus it'll take us at least a year to architect another 'boom', market it, hype it and sell it. This will give us enough time to print out a few million more shares. Rinse, lather, ripoff.
B20: That's horrible...
RP: I know. You want to buy some stock? Because if you're not, I'm late for a power lunch I'm hosting with some single mother's life savings.
b20: No! Well that concludes this article. Next week we'll publish Outlook 2003 2.0.
Number of Windows related viruses over the years...
Too many to count
Cost due to Windows server based attacks on a global scale...
gazillions
Number of Linux viruses released to the masses...
1 maybe 2
The cost due to a Linux virus on a global scale...
0 USD.
The price for a Linux admin's good night's rest because he/she doesn't have to worry about security attacks? Priceless...
For everything else, there's a CC EAL4 cert, symantic or norton.
sun speak: I predict that now that we're calling their bluff, they will make up another excuse for not doing the tests, Philips says.
Translation: 'We may have *modified* the tests a little so you guys can't pass. Best of luck!'
sun speak:JBoss appears to be using software written by Sun.
Translation: 'We at Sun never use other people's codebase for our products (apache regex), it's wrong that JBoss does.'
sun speak: making the compliance test available will make it clear that Sun does not want to intentionally obstruct JBoss Group's efforts to gain J2EE compliance
Translation: 'We pray every night to the same God Microsoft does that JBoss burns itself to the ground. Linux should die to.'
The policy promotes the widespread implementation of W3C Recommendations first by making the W3C Royalty-Free License requirements clear and enforceable
Like all/any the other insane EULA's, web patents and service agreements floating out there, how is this enforceable? Like previous posts, w3c can't even 'enforce' the html standard. I'm sure that enforcing anything web related is high on the FBI's list of priorities.
Does the world really need Yet Another RAD Tool? I can't speak fully for the Swing/Awt world, but the medium-sized Java projects I've been on was developed with textpad and apache ant.
One of the beautiful things about Java/C++/SmallTalk is that you just can't start coding in it. For most people, it takes time to learn. But when you do learn it, and learn it correctly, you'll start to think in terms of coding for the sake of the interface, instead of coding for the hell of it.
With RAD tools, it's super easy to start coding what's in your head at the time being, making up classes and methods as you go. Why not global variables? You may start out coding for a prototype. This prototype doesn't get redesigned, let alone refactored for the actual implementation ('cause hey, we already have it 50% done). Then the next thing you know, you have bloatware. Then you leave your job, and some poor schmuck has to maintain your 'code'.
I didn't fully understand why you had to do so much in Swing to do so little until I read the GOF Patterns book. Most everything in the Swing API is an abstract pattern of some sort. When you create prototypes in Swing, you can't take a lot of things for granted. You actually have to think things through. And that, you just cannot rapidly do, initially.
But when you do understand the fundamentals, prototypes can be refactored or easily redesigned to fit the implementation. Of course, this means that the software engineer that develops the prototype must have some working knowledge of the API or framework. It means that you just can't have your average "learn XXXX in 24 hours" code monkey start the software process. It means RAD is not a tool, but a way of thinking. I professionally build prototypes for projects using textpad and ant. Much of which can be extended for the actual implementation.
"people publicly lament that Microsoft has virtually taken the Internet over"
.NET, for which market share is roughly 20% which no java shops want to convert (TheServerSide, Gartner)
How, may I ask, has MicroSuck taken the Internet over??? Last time I checked:
Apache has 60 some percent of the webserver market. IIS, 35%
BEA/IBM has 90% of the app server market (check out their web page), Microsoft, has close to none.
The language of the internet is Java/XML/HTML. Not this crap called
One of the futures in web services is SOAP, initiated by MicroSuck by the w3c, my shop uses Apache SOAP/Axis. When the SOAP statistics comes out, I could almost bet the house that the Apache/IBM/etc solutions will dominate over M$.
The Database that backends the database is Oracle. Not SQLServer (Access# ?).
I write this crummy response on Opera version 6.x, not IE 5.x.
So, tell me again, how has Microsoft "taken over the Internet?"