Don't you have work to do or something? Jesus christ man, get out more often.
ho ho ho merry fucking christmas!
CowboyNeal Eating Club -- JOIN NOW!
on
Fair IP Laws?
·
· Score: -1
The CowboyNeal Eating Club
The CowboyNeal Eating Club is a fun, exciting way to meet other portly
Linux users in your area. Whether it's getting together to eat a bag of cookies
or to down 3 extra large pepperoni pizza's, we guarantee the CowboyNeal Eating
Club will be an Ass
Widening Good Time (tm). Each month we will send your chapter TONS
of coupons to buffets, pizza parlors! We will let you in on GOBS insider
information, like the location to the local Hostess distributor in your area.
You will also get Jonathan Paters fascinating monthly newslatter "FUCKING
FAT". Each month we feature helpful columns such as:
Is this fattening...ENOUGH?
How to make pants from that old king sized sheet
Wiping your ass...when you just can't reach!
If you sign up now you will recieve 75 LBS OF BOLOGNE FREE. All this
and a whole lot more! Join the CowboyNeal Eating Club Today! Your ass
will thank you!
"We Are The World", U.S.A. for Africa
There comes a time when we need a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all
We can't go on pretending day by day
That someone, somehow will soon make a change
We're all a part of God's great big family
And the truth - you know love is all we need
( CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
so let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
Well, send'em you your heart
So they know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us
By turning stone to bread
And so we all must lend a helping hand
( REPEAT CHORUS )
When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, let's realize
That one change can only come
When we stand together as one
( REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )
To this day I just love to hear "We Are The World" - the melody is so simple but beautifully arranged and produced by Daddy Q. Okay, so it woud not hit the top 40 in the 90's, but re-produce it and replace the singers with those like Puff Daddy, R. Kelly, Mariah Carey, Madonna, etc, and chances are it's going all the way to the top! Here's a list of the singers next to their lyric from the 1985 version. . .
There comes a time when we heed a certain call (Lionel Richie)
When the world must come together as one (Lionel Richie & Stevie Wonder)
There are people dying (Stevie Wonder)
Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life (Paul Simon)
The greatest gift of all (Paul Simon/Kenny Rogers)
We can't go on pretending day by day (Kenny Rogers)
That someone, somehow will soon make a change (James Ingram)
We're all a part of God's great big family (Tina Turner)
And the truth (Billy Joel)
You know love is all we need (Tina Turner/Billy Joel)
( CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Michael Jackson)
There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Diana Ross)
It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Michael Jackson/Diana Ross)
Well, send'em you your heart so they know that someone cares (Dionne Warwick)
And their lives will be stronger and free (Dionne Warwick/Willie Nelson)
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread (Willie Nelson)
And so we all must lend a helping hand (Al Jurreau)
( REPEAT CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children (Bruce Springsteen)
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Kenny Logins)
There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Steve Perry)
It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Daryl Hall)
When you're down and out there seems no hope at all (Michael Jackson)
But if you just believe there's no way we can fall (Huey Lewis)
Well, well, well, let's realize that a change can only come (Cyndi Lauper)
When we (Kim Carnes)
stand together as one (Kim Carnes/Cyndi Lauper/Huey Lewis)
(REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )
(additional ad-lib vox by Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, James Ingram)
now get ta bed ya friggin brat!!
The history of Christmas dates back over 4000 years. Many of our Christmas traditions were celebrated centuries before the Christ child was born. The 12 days of Christmas, the bright fires, the yule log, the giving of gifts, carnivals(parades) with floats, carolers who sing while going from house to house, the holiday feasts, and the church processions can all be traced back to the early Mesopotamians.
Many of these traditions began with the Mesopotamian celebration of New Years. The Mesopotamians believed in many gods, and as their chief god - Marduk. Each year as winter arrived it was believed that Marduk would do battle with the monsters of chaos. To assist Marduk in his struggle the Mesopotamians held a festival for the New Year. This was Zagmuk, the New Year's festival that lasted for 12 days.
The Mesopotamian king would return to the temple of Marduk and swear his faithfulness to the god. The traditions called for the king to die at the end of the year and to return with Marduk to battle at his side.
To spare their king, the Mesopotamians used the idea of a "mock" king. A criminal was chosen and dressed in royal clothes. He was given all the respect and privileges of a real king. At the end of the celebration the "mock" king was stripped of the royal clothes and slain, sparing the life of the real king.
The Persians and the Babylonians celebrated a similar festival called the Sacaea. Part of that celebration included the exchanging of places, the slaves would become the masters and the masters were to obey.
Early Europeans believed in evil spirits, witches, ghosts and trolls. As the Winter Solstice approached, with its long cold nights and short days, many people feared the sun would not return. Special rituals and celebrations were held to welcome back the sun.
In Scandinavia during the winter months the sun would disappear for many days. After thirty-five days scouts would be sent to the mountain tops to look for the return of the sun. When the first light was seen the scouts would return with the good news. A great festival would be held, called the Yuletide, and a special feast would be served around a fire burning with the Yule log. Great bonfires would also be lit to celebrate the return of the sun. In some areas people would tie apples to branches of trees to remind themselves that spring and summer would return.
The ancient Greeks held a festival similar to that of the Zagmuk/Sacaea festivals to assist their god Kronos who would battle the god Zeus and his Titans.
The Roman's celebrated their god Saturn. Their festival was called Saturnalia which began the middle of December and ended January 1st. With cries of "Jo Saturnalia!" the celebration would include masquerades in the streets, big festive meals, visiting friends, and the exchange of good-luck gifts called Strenae (lucky fruits).
The Romans decked their halls with garlands of laurel and green trees lit with candles. Again the masters and slaves would exchange places.
"Jo Saturnalia!" was a fun and festive time for the Romans, but the Christians though it an abomination to honor the pagan god. The early Christians wanted to keep the birthday of their Christ child a solemn and religious holiday, not one of cheer and merriment as was the pagan Saturnalia.
But as Christianity spread they were alarmed by the continuing celebration of pagan customs and Saturnalia among their converts. At first the Church forbid this kind of celebration. But it was to no avail. Eventually it was decided that the celebration would be tamed and made into a celebration fit for the Christian Son of God.
Some legends claim that the Christian "Christmas" celebration was invented to compete against the pagan celebrations of December. The 25th was not only sacred to the Romans but also the Persians whose religion Mithraism was one of Christianity's main rivals at that time. The Church eventually was successful in taking the merriment, lights, and gifts from the Saturanilia festival and bringing them to the celebration of Christmas.
The exact day of the Christ child's birth has never been pinpointed. Traditions say that it has been celebrated since the year 98 AD. In 137 AD the Bishop of Rome ordered the birthday of the Christ Child celebrated as a solemn feast. In 350 AD another Bishop of Rome, Julius I, choose December 25th as the observance of Christmas.
Building a Latrine
Human wastes cause sickness. Wastes left on the ground near a small river or lake are washed into the water. Bacteria in the wastes make that water dirty and unsafe. People who drink the water are likely to become very sick.
A latrine can be built to safely remove human wastes. To make it work, you need to buy a pour-flush toilet that has a big bowl on top. It is called "pour flush" because water is poured in with the waste. The flow of the water flushes the waste away.
Then you need to build the two parts of the pour-flush latrine: a pit and a toilet area. The toilet is where a person sits or stands. The pit is a hole in the ground. A pipe connects the pit with the toilet.
You will want to build the latrine near your house. But be sure to place it at least fifteen meters from the water anyone uses for drinking and washing.
Mark on the ground the best place for the latrine pit. Measure a square that is a little more than one meter on each side. Place sticks at each corner.
Dig all the ground within this square border. Then remove the four sticks at the corners. Dig the latrine pit within the square border. Remove loose soil from the pit. Dig down about one meter and stop. Now you must test how fast the water sinks into the soil. Dig a small hole in the pit. Pour in a bucket of water. Measure the time it takes for all the water to sink into the soil. All the water must be absorbed in two minutes. If it is not, the soil is not right for a latrine. You will need to test another place.
The finished pit should be at least two meters deep. Use wood to support the pit walls.
The next step is to clear an area for the latrine house to shelter the toilet. Do this near the pit. Dig a hole about one meter from the pit. Place a log in the hole and fasten the pour-flush toilet bowl to it.
Now attach a connection pipe from the toilet to the pit. Then build the latrine out of bamboo or wood. The pit should be covered with wood. Burlap or large leaves placed on the wood will reduce smells and flies.
eat balls. christmastroll claims this as the first logged in post because we all know AC's are nearly as queer as cmdrtaco.
MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS BITCHES!
Away in a Manger
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.
The stars in the sky looked down where he lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep in the hay.
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.
I love Thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
And stay by my cradle til morning is nigh.
Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And take us to heaven, to live with Thee there.
Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Alles schläft; einsam wacht
Nur das traute heilige Paar.
Holder Knab' im lockigten Haar,
|: Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh!:|
2. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Gottes Sohn, o wie lacht
Lieb' aus deinem göttlichen Mund,
Da uns schlägt die rettende Stund'.
|: Jesus in deiner Geburt!:|
3. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Die der Welt Heil gebracht,
Aus des Himmels goldenen Höhn,
Uns der Gnaden Fülle läßt sehn,
|: Jesum in Menschengestalt!:|
4. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Wo sich heut alle Macht
Väterlicher Liebe ergoß,
Und als Bruder huldvoll umschloß
|: Jesus die Völker der Welt!:|
5. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Lange schon uns bedacht,
Als der Herr vom Grimme befreit
In der Väter urgrauer Zeit
|: Aller Welt Schonung verhieß!:|
6. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Hirten erst kundgemacht
Durch der Engel Alleluja,
Tönt es laut bei Ferne und Nah:
|: "Jesus der Retter ist da!"
Slashdot Mirror
fuck you pal! I am the one who calls merry christmas here!
MeRRY CHRiSTMaS!!
ho ho ho merry fucking christmas!
The CowboyNeal Eating Club
The CowboyNeal Eating Club is a fun, exciting way to meet other portly Linux users in your area. Whether it's getting together to eat a bag of cookies or to down 3 extra large pepperoni pizza's, we guarantee the CowboyNeal Eating Club will be an Ass Widening Good Time (tm). Each month we will send your chapter TONS of coupons to buffets, pizza parlors! We will let you in on GOBS insider information, like the location to the local Hostess distributor in your area. You will also get Jonathan Paters fascinating monthly newslatter "FUCKING FAT". Each month we feature helpful columns such as:
If you sign up now you will recieve 75 LBS OF BOLOGNE FREE. All this and a whole lot more! Join the CowboyNeal Eating Club Today! Your ass will thank you!
"We Are The World", U.S.A. for Africa There comes a time when we need a certain call When the world must come together as one There are people dying Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life The greatest gift of all We can't go on pretending day by day That someone, somehow will soon make a change We're all a part of God's great big family And the truth - you know love is all we need ( CHORUS ) We are the world, we are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving There's a choice we're making We're saving our own lives It's true we'll make a better day Just you and me Well, send'em you your heart So they know that someone cares And their lives will be stronger and free As God has shown us By turning stone to bread And so we all must lend a helping hand ( REPEAT CHORUS ) When you're down and out There seems no hope at all But if you just believe There's no way we can fall Well, well, well, let's realize That one change can only come When we stand together as one ( REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE ) To this day I just love to hear "We Are The World" - the melody is so simple but beautifully arranged and produced by Daddy Q. Okay, so it woud not hit the top 40 in the 90's, but re-produce it and replace the singers with those like Puff Daddy, R. Kelly, Mariah Carey, Madonna, etc, and chances are it's going all the way to the top! Here's a list of the singers next to their lyric from the 1985 version. . . There comes a time when we heed a certain call (Lionel Richie) When the world must come together as one (Lionel Richie & Stevie Wonder) There are people dying (Stevie Wonder) Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life (Paul Simon) The greatest gift of all (Paul Simon/Kenny Rogers) We can't go on pretending day by day (Kenny Rogers) That someone, somehow will soon make a change (James Ingram) We're all a part of God's great big family (Tina Turner) And the truth (Billy Joel) You know love is all we need (Tina Turner/Billy Joel) ( CHORUS ) We are the world, we are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Michael Jackson) There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Diana Ross) It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Michael Jackson/Diana Ross) Well, send'em you your heart so they know that someone cares (Dionne Warwick) And their lives will be stronger and free (Dionne Warwick/Willie Nelson) As God has shown us by turning stone to bread (Willie Nelson) And so we all must lend a helping hand (Al Jurreau) ( REPEAT CHORUS ) We are the world, we are the children (Bruce Springsteen) We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Kenny Logins) There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Steve Perry) It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Daryl Hall) When you're down and out there seems no hope at all (Michael Jackson) But if you just believe there's no way we can fall (Huey Lewis) Well, well, well, let's realize that a change can only come (Cyndi Lauper) When we (Kim Carnes) stand together as one (Kim Carnes/Cyndi Lauper/Huey Lewis) (REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE ) (additional ad-lib vox by Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, James Ingram) now get ta bed ya friggin brat!!
The history of Christmas dates back over 4000 years. Many of our Christmas traditions were celebrated centuries before the Christ child was born. The 12 days of Christmas, the bright fires, the yule log, the giving of gifts, carnivals(parades) with floats, carolers who sing while going from house to house, the holiday feasts, and the church processions can all be traced back to the early Mesopotamians. Many of these traditions began with the Mesopotamian celebration of New Years. The Mesopotamians believed in many gods, and as their chief god - Marduk. Each year as winter arrived it was believed that Marduk would do battle with the monsters of chaos. To assist Marduk in his struggle the Mesopotamians held a festival for the New Year. This was Zagmuk, the New Year's festival that lasted for 12 days. The Mesopotamian king would return to the temple of Marduk and swear his faithfulness to the god. The traditions called for the king to die at the end of the year and to return with Marduk to battle at his side. To spare their king, the Mesopotamians used the idea of a "mock" king. A criminal was chosen and dressed in royal clothes. He was given all the respect and privileges of a real king. At the end of the celebration the "mock" king was stripped of the royal clothes and slain, sparing the life of the real king. The Persians and the Babylonians celebrated a similar festival called the Sacaea. Part of that celebration included the exchanging of places, the slaves would become the masters and the masters were to obey. Early Europeans believed in evil spirits, witches, ghosts and trolls. As the Winter Solstice approached, with its long cold nights and short days, many people feared the sun would not return. Special rituals and celebrations were held to welcome back the sun. In Scandinavia during the winter months the sun would disappear for many days. After thirty-five days scouts would be sent to the mountain tops to look for the return of the sun. When the first light was seen the scouts would return with the good news. A great festival would be held, called the Yuletide, and a special feast would be served around a fire burning with the Yule log. Great bonfires would also be lit to celebrate the return of the sun. In some areas people would tie apples to branches of trees to remind themselves that spring and summer would return. The ancient Greeks held a festival similar to that of the Zagmuk/Sacaea festivals to assist their god Kronos who would battle the god Zeus and his Titans. The Roman's celebrated their god Saturn. Their festival was called Saturnalia which began the middle of December and ended January 1st. With cries of "Jo Saturnalia!" the celebration would include masquerades in the streets, big festive meals, visiting friends, and the exchange of good-luck gifts called Strenae (lucky fruits). The Romans decked their halls with garlands of laurel and green trees lit with candles. Again the masters and slaves would exchange places. "Jo Saturnalia!" was a fun and festive time for the Romans, but the Christians though it an abomination to honor the pagan god. The early Christians wanted to keep the birthday of their Christ child a solemn and religious holiday, not one of cheer and merriment as was the pagan Saturnalia. But as Christianity spread they were alarmed by the continuing celebration of pagan customs and Saturnalia among their converts. At first the Church forbid this kind of celebration. But it was to no avail. Eventually it was decided that the celebration would be tamed and made into a celebration fit for the Christian Son of God. Some legends claim that the Christian "Christmas" celebration was invented to compete against the pagan celebrations of December. The 25th was not only sacred to the Romans but also the Persians whose religion Mithraism was one of Christianity's main rivals at that time. The Church eventually was successful in taking the merriment, lights, and gifts from the Saturanilia festival and bringing them to the celebration of Christmas. The exact day of the Christ child's birth has never been pinpointed. Traditions say that it has been celebrated since the year 98 AD. In 137 AD the Bishop of Rome ordered the birthday of the Christ Child celebrated as a solemn feast. In 350 AD another Bishop of Rome, Julius I, choose December 25th as the observance of Christmas.
I have a big floppy penis. Perhaps you have an opinion on that.
Building a Latrine Human wastes cause sickness. Wastes left on the ground near a small river or lake are washed into the water. Bacteria in the wastes make that water dirty and unsafe. People who drink the water are likely to become very sick. A latrine can be built to safely remove human wastes. To make it work, you need to buy a pour-flush toilet that has a big bowl on top. It is called "pour flush" because water is poured in with the waste. The flow of the water flushes the waste away. Then you need to build the two parts of the pour-flush latrine: a pit and a toilet area. The toilet is where a person sits or stands. The pit is a hole in the ground. A pipe connects the pit with the toilet. You will want to build the latrine near your house. But be sure to place it at least fifteen meters from the water anyone uses for drinking and washing. Mark on the ground the best place for the latrine pit. Measure a square that is a little more than one meter on each side. Place sticks at each corner. Dig all the ground within this square border. Then remove the four sticks at the corners. Dig the latrine pit within the square border. Remove loose soil from the pit. Dig down about one meter and stop. Now you must test how fast the water sinks into the soil. Dig a small hole in the pit. Pour in a bucket of water. Measure the time it takes for all the water to sink into the soil. All the water must be absorbed in two minutes. If it is not, the soil is not right for a latrine. You will need to test another place. The finished pit should be at least two meters deep. Use wood to support the pit walls. The next step is to clear an area for the latrine house to shelter the toilet. Do this near the pit. Dig a hole about one meter from the pit. Place a log in the hole and fasten the pour-flush toilet bowl to it. Now attach a connection pipe from the toilet to the pit. Then build the latrine out of bamboo or wood. The pit should be covered with wood. Burlap or large leaves placed on the wood will reduce smells and flies.
eat balls. christmastroll claims this as the first logged in post because we all know AC's are nearly as queer as cmdrtaco. MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS BITCHES!
Away in a Manger Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head. The stars in the sky looked down where he lay, The little Lord Jesus asleep in the hay. The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes, But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes. I love Thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky And stay by my cradle til morning is nigh. Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay Close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, And take us to heaven, to live with Thee there.
Alles schläft; einsam wacht
Nur das traute heilige Paar.
Holder Knab' im lockigten Haar,
|: Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh!
2. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! :|
Gottes Sohn, o wie lacht
Lieb' aus deinem göttlichen Mund,
Da uns schlägt die rettende Stund'.
|: Jesus in deiner Geburt!
3. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! :|
Die der Welt Heil gebracht,
Aus des Himmels goldenen Höhn,
Uns der Gnaden Fülle läßt sehn,
|: Jesum in Menschengestalt!
4. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! :|
Wo sich heut alle Macht
Väterlicher Liebe ergoß,
Und als Bruder huldvoll umschloß
|: Jesus die Völker der Welt!
5. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! :|
Lange schon uns bedacht,
Als der Herr vom Grimme befreit
In der Väter urgrauer Zeit
|: Aller Welt Schonung verhieß!
6. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Hirten erst kundgemacht
Durch der Engel Alleluja,
Tönt es laut bei Ferne und Nah:
|: "Jesus der Retter ist da!"
260 Days 21 Hours 58 Minutes Until Christmas! Merry Christmas from the Christmas Troll