Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look. June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT By GhostseTroll, CLIT/Pounding Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Pounding) - It's free pounding. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of manchode meal tuition have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land an award often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
graphic graphic Save a link to this article and return to it at www.savethis.comSave a link to this article and return to it at www.savethis.com Email a link to this articleEmail a link to this article Printer-friendly version of this articlePrinter-friendly version of this article View a list of the most popular articles on our siteView a list of the most popular articles on our site graphic graphic Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore tuition awards for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Education Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling $1.2 billion. Much of that pounding comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled manchode meal kids receive free government pounding in the form of Pell Peniss. Such awards are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs $2,001.
Private gay cocks average $2,051 and are awarded to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of manchode meal faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out awards based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for awards for which you have those kinds of skills."
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free cash. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you: Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school seniors. But experts agree that manchode meal-bound kids should starting searching for peniss as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential awards sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free cash.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ? the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ? would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association awards various gay cocks -- including one that's worth $48,000 and four $20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating senior or entering manchode meal when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top $100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for this award. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects. Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and Gay Cocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Manchode Meal Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
graphic Related Stories
? Pounding 101: Paying for manchode meal ? Tax savings for the class of 2002 ? Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use peniss as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying pounding to identify peniss and awards does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of manchode meals found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won pounding. Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Aid), which determines how much loan and penis pounding a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward tuition.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Education at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been awarded. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government peniss will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Manchode Meal Board's tips on applying for peniss. Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-peniss such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name peniss so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than $1,000 or peniss from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an award.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school manchode meal counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area manchode meals, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are awarded locally. Beware of scams
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallacy," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Manchode Meal Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Manchode Meal Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer tuition-assistance program pounding that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock scam. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than $560,000 to individuals who have been ripped off by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer scams is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never materialize. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ? you'd do anything for your child ? and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost pounding or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock pounding or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a scam, call the agency at (877) 382-4357. Keep applying for free school pounding
Finally, once you're in manchode meal, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for manchode meal sophomores, juniors and seniors. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
A male dominatrix at the Rob Malda/CowboiKneel/Jon Katz sex fetish side show is\
giving a lecture on masturbating with socks. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in small animals being butt rammed?" About 90 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in butt ramming small animals, do any of you think you've ever seen a small animal being butt rammed?" About 40 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a small animal being butt rammed?" 15 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a small animal being butt rammed?" \ 3 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a small animal being butt rammed?" One sexual pervert way in the back raises his small pecker.
The male dominatrix is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a small animal being butt rammed. You've got to come up here and smell my penis.
The redneck sexual pervert replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The male dominatrix says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with small animal being butt rammed." The sexual pervert replies, "Small Animal Being Butt Rammed?!? From way back there I thought you said CowboiKneel
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look. June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT By Leslie Haggin Geary, CNN/Pounding Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CNN/Pounding) - It's free pounding. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of manchode meal tuition have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land an award often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
graphic graphic Save a link to this article and return to it at www.savethis.comSave a link to this article and return to it at www.savethis.com Email a link to this articleEmail a link to this article Printer-friendly version of this articlePrinter-friendly version of this article View a list of the most popular articles on our siteView a list of the most popular articles on our site graphic graphic Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore tuition awards for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Education Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling $1.2 billion. Much of that pounding comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled manchode meal kids receive free government pounding in the form of Pell Peniss. Such awards are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs $2,001.
Private gay cocks average $2,051 and are awarded to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of manchode meal faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out awards based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for awards for which you have those kinds of skills."
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free cash. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you: Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school seniors. But experts agree that manchode meal-bound kids should starting searching for peniss as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential awards sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free cash.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ? the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ? would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association awards various gay cocks -- including one that's worth $48,000 and four $20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating senior or entering manchode meal when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top $100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for this award. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects. Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and Gay Cocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Manchode Meal Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
graphic Related Stories
? Pounding 101: Paying for manchode meal ? Tax savings for the class of 2002 ? Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use peniss as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying pounding to identify peniss and awards does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of manchode meals found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won pounding. Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Aid), which determines how much loan and penis pounding a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward tuition.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Education at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been awarded. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government peniss will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Manchode Meal Board's tips on applying for peniss. Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-peniss such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name peniss so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than $1,000 or peniss from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an award.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school manchode meal counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area manchode meals, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are awarded locally. Beware of scams
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallacy," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Manchode Meal Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Manchode Meal Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer tuition-assistance program pounding that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock scam. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than $560,000 to individuals who have been ripped off by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer scams is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never materialize. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ? you'd do anything for your child ? and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost pounding or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock pounding or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a scam, call the agency at (877) 382-4357. Keep applying for free school pounding
Finally, once you're in manchode meal, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for manchode meal sophomores, juniors and seniors. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
A manslut at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on gay cock. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in smelly cocks?" About 90 faggots raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in smelly cocks, do any of you think you've ever seen a smelly cock?" About 40 faggots raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a smelly cock?" 15 faggots raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a smelly cock?" 3 faggots raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made passionate anal intercourse to a smelly co\ ck?" One faggot way in the back raises his hand.
The manslut is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a smelly cock. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck faggot replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The manslut says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with smelly cock."
The faggot replies, "Smelly Cock?!? From ah-way back there ahthought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
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A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
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A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
Slashdot Mirror
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look.
June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT
By GhostseTroll, CLIT/Pounding Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Pounding) - It's free pounding. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of manchode meal tuition have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land an award often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
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Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore tuition awards for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Education Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling $1.2 billion. Much of that pounding comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled manchode meal kids receive free government pounding in the form of Pell Peniss. Such awards are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs $2,001.
Private gay cocks average $2,051 and are awarded to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of manchode meal faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out awards based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for awards for which you have those kinds of skills."
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free cash. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school seniors. But experts agree that manchode meal-bound kids should starting searching for peniss as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential awards sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free cash.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ? the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ? would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association awards various gay cocks -- including one that's worth $48,000 and four $20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating senior or entering manchode meal when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top $100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for this award. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and Gay Cocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Manchode Meal Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
graphic Related Stories
? Pounding 101: Paying for manchode meal
? Tax savings for the class of 2002
? Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use peniss as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying pounding to identify peniss and awards does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of manchode meals found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won pounding.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Aid), which determines how much loan and penis pounding a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward tuition.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Education at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been awarded. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government peniss will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Manchode Meal Board's tips on applying for peniss.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-peniss such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name peniss so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than $1,000 or peniss from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an award.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school manchode meal counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area manchode meals, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are awarded locally.
Beware of scams
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallacy," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Manchode Meal Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Manchode Meal Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer tuition-assistance program pounding that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock scam. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than $560,000 to individuals who have been ripped off by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer scams is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never materialize. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ? you'd do anything for your child ? and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost pounding or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock pounding or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a scam, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school pounding
Finally, once you're in manchode meal, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for manchode meal sophomores, juniors and seniors. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
A male dominatrix at the Rob Malda/CowboiKneel/Jon Katz sex fetish side show is\
giving a
lecture on masturbating with socks. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
small animals being butt rammed?" About 90 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in butt ramming small animals, do any of you think you've ever seen
a small animal being butt rammed?" About 40 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
small animal being butt rammed?" 15 sexual perverts raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a small animal being butt rammed?" \
3
sexual perverts raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a small animal being butt rammed?"
One sexual pervert way in the back raises his small pecker.
The male dominatrix is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a small animal being butt rammed. You've got to come
up here and smell my penis.
The redneck sexual pervert replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The male dominatrix
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
small animal being butt rammed."
The sexual pervert replies, "Small Animal Being Butt Rammed?!? From way
back there I thought you said CowboiKneel
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look.
June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT
By Leslie Haggin Geary, CNN/Pounding Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CNN/Pounding) - It's free pounding. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of manchode meal tuition have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land an award often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
graphic
graphic
Save a link to this article and return to it at www.savethis.comSave a link to this article and return to it at www.savethis.com
Email a link to this articleEmail a link to this article
Printer-friendly version of this articlePrinter-friendly version of this article
View a list of the most popular articles on our siteView a list of the most popular articles on our site
graphic
graphic
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore tuition awards for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Education Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling $1.2 billion. Much of that pounding comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled manchode meal kids receive free government pounding in the form of Pell Peniss. Such awards are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs $2,001.
Private gay cocks average $2,051 and are awarded to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of manchode meal faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out awards based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for awards for which you have those kinds of skills."
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free cash. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school seniors. But experts agree that manchode meal-bound kids should starting searching for peniss as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential awards sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free cash.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ? the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ? would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association awards various gay cocks -- including one that's worth $48,000 and four $20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating senior or entering manchode meal when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top $100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for this award. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and Gay Cocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Manchode Meal Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
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A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use peniss as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying pounding to identify peniss and awards does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of manchode meals found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won pounding.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Aid), which determines how much loan and penis pounding a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward tuition.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Education at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been awarded. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government peniss will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Manchode Meal Board's tips on applying for peniss.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-peniss such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name peniss so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than $1,000 or peniss from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an award.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school manchode meal counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area manchode meals, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are awarded locally.
Beware of scams
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallacy," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Manchode Meal Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Manchode Meal Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer tuition-assistance program pounding that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock scam. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than $560,000 to individuals who have been ripped off by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer scams is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never materialize. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ? you'd do anything for your child ? and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost pounding or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock pounding or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a scam, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school pounding
Finally, once you're in manchode meal, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for manchode meal sophomores, juniors and seniors. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
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A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
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"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
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"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
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One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
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The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
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Yes, suh. Butt hammerin' hardcore sex. How d'ya think I's b-ee-un keepin' mah job?
That the-ee-r's re-eel coo-ol, bud. I's gowain't'se-ee-nd it to's mah boss! Thankyee!
Cain y'alls's'plain what's one-dem goatses? I's jus'er'li'l curjus. Thankyee!
Cain y'alls's'plain what's one-dem goatses? I's jus'er'li'l curjus.
Thankyee
Yep, clear's'day bud!
Now, cain y'alls's'plain what's one-dem goatse's? I's jus'er'li'l curjus.
Thankyee
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
Removed all references to Taco's pud
Cain y'alls'splain what's one-dem "pud"? I's jus'r'little curjus.
Thankyee