originally from the onion, recently available elsewhere.
Redmond, WA--In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.
With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones - the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs - unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.
"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals."
A number of major Silicon Valley players, including Apple Computer, Netscape and Sun Microsystems, said they will challenge the Microsoft patent as monopolistic and anti-competitive, claiming that the 10-cent-per-digit licensing fee would bankrupt them instantly.
While, technically, Java is a complex system of algorithms used to create a platform-independent programming environment, it is, at its core, just a string of trillions of ones and zeroes," said Sun Microsystems CEO Scott McNealy, whose company created the Java programming environment used in many Internet applications. "The licensing fees we'd have to pay Microsoft every day would be approximately 327,000 times the total net worth of this company."
"If this patent holds up in federal court, Apple will have no choice but to convert to analog," said Apple interim CEO Steve Jobs, "and I have serious doubts whether this company would be able to remain competitive selling pedal-operated computers running software off vinyl LPs."
As a result of the Microsoft patent, many other companies have begun radically revising their product lines: Database manufacturer Oracle has embarked on a crash program to develop "an abacus for the next millennium." Novell, whose communications and networking systems are also subject to Microsoft licensing fees, is working with top animal trainers on a chimpanzee-based message-transmission system. Hewlett-Packard is developing a revolutionary new steam-powered printer.
Despite the swarm of protest, Gates is standing his ground, maintaining that ones and zeroes are the undisputed property of Microsoft. "We will vigorously enforce our patents of these numbers, as they are legally ours," Gates said. "Among Microsoft's vast historical archives are Sanskrit cuneiform tablets from 1800 B.C. clearly showing ones and a symbol known as 'sunya,' or nothing. We also own: papyrus scrolls written by Pythagoras himself in which he explains the idea of singular notation, or 'one'; early tracts by Mohammed ibn Musa al Kwarizimi explaining the concept of al-sifr, or 'the cipher'; original mathematical manuscripts by Heisenberg, Einstein and Planck; and a signed first-edition copy of Jean-Paul Sartre's Being And Nothingness. Should the need arise, Microsoft will have no difficulty proving to the Justice Department or anyone else
that we own the rights to these numbers." Added Gates: "My salary also has lots of zeroes. I'm the richest man in the world."
According to experts, the full ramifications of Microsoft's patenting of one and zero have yet to be realized. "Because all integers and natural numbers derive from one and zero, Microsoft may, by extension, lay claim to ownership of all mathematics and logic systems, including Euclidean geometry, pulleys and levers, gravity, and the basic Newtonian principles of motion, as well as the concepts of existence and nonexistence," Yale University
But couldn't a single note be viewed, or rather heard, as an interval between silences, giving the single note and the surrounding silence meaning? Well, I guess that's still an interval, isn't it. On the other hand, at least the author didn't use John Cage's 4'33" as a case study. If he had, this discussion might be a 'mute' point.
BINGO!
Exactly what I was thinking as I read the OP. After a brief 'career' in the tech industry,
I've been out of work since June of 2002. During countless hours perusing job postings, I've observed that companies seeking people to fill tech positions have changed the wording of their ads to include requirements for C/S degrees over certification.
I think one reason for this is that toward the end of the twentieth century there was a flood of people attending 'cert boot camps' some of which were crammed into a weeks' time, out of which the successful 'payee' emerged with a cert, and there were plenty who studied for one or another particular cert which resulted in an abundance of 'certified technicians' many of whom had no real experience or depth of knowledge. On the other hand, and slightly OT, there are plenty of people who have an extermely deep level of understanding and knowledge of computer systems who have no certification or degrees, but probably not as many. This is not to slight anybody who has acquired a certification, as even failing with a high score is better than many can achieve. (At this point I feel obliged to admit that I myself posses no degrees or certifications, although I'm told I am 'certifiable' by many, but methinks they are suggesting something different.) If only I could afford school.
Yeah, the audiophile experience is a bit if a wank. I don't see how one can justify hundreds of dollars per foot of speaker wire.
But regarding clipping, I'm not sure clipping while listening to a Bach solo violin partita is desirable. I was under the impression that clipping is desirable for wanking guitar players.
I believe the difference between listening to analogically produced music versus digitally produced music has to do with the way information is stored and how it hits the ears.
Analog recording/playback is done via a continuous stream of 'data' while digital recording/playback consists of 'bits' of data. During playback, the ear is stressed by the 'break' between each 'bit' in a digitally reproduced recording, an effect similar to the 'chopping' sound of a helicopter or a Harley with straight pipes, obviously on a completely different scale. The ear is less stressed by the continuous stream produced by analog recordings, resulting in what for many is a more pleasurable listening experience.
However, the human ear varies in sensitivity from individual to individual, and the phenomenon described above is generally imperceptible in the same way that frequencies beyond the human range of hearing are, but, like those frequencies, the effect is still there, resulting in subjective descriptions of the listening experience as 'warm' or 'round'.
A lot of this is obviously theoretical, and the listening experience is highly subjective, so it ultimately gets down to 'whatever blows your hair back'...assuming one has hair.
I've been using Phoenix with Pegasus Mail (free) on my winders machine for quite a while without any problems, and they work together so well it's like they were made for each other.
...yeah, and soon you'll get charged for hearing the music blasting from the sub-woofer-on-wheels passing through your neighborhood! Time to get out the plugs and blinders!
Slashdot Mirror
...since the song was originally written by Arthur Crudup... but... I guess... that's alright.
But couldn't a single note be viewed, or rather heard, as an interval between silences, giving the single note and the surrounding silence meaning? Well, I guess that's still an interval, isn't it. On the other hand, at least the author didn't use John Cage's 4'33" as a case study. If he had, this discussion might be a 'mute' point.
/aaargh!
Damn straight! We even have 'free speech zones.' Who in the world can beat that?
U!S!A! U!S!A! U!S!A!
ack! phht!
Wouln't it be cheaper to give them a place to live?
a free trade agreement that increases restrictions on the free dissemination of information
fits right in with the current trend
peace through war
freedom through slavery
security through fear
beam me up
BINGO!
Exactly what I was thinking as I read the OP.
After a brief 'career' in the tech industry, I've been out of work since June of 2002.
During countless hours perusing job postings, I've observed that companies seeking people to fill tech positions have changed the wording of their ads to include requirements for C/S degrees over certification.
I think one reason for this is that toward the end of the twentieth century there was a flood of people attending 'cert boot camps' some of which were crammed into a weeks' time, out of which the successful 'payee' emerged with a cert, and there were plenty who studied for one or another particular cert which resulted in an abundance of 'certified technicians' many of whom had no real experience or depth of knowledge.
On the other hand, and slightly OT, there are plenty of people who have an extermely deep level of understanding and knowledge of computer systems who have no certification or degrees, but probably not as many.
This is not to slight anybody who has acquired a certification, as even failing with a high score is better than many can achieve.
(At this point I feel obliged to admit that I myself posses no degrees or certifications, although I'm told I am 'certifiable' by many, but methinks they are suggesting something different.)
If only I could afford school.
hmmm...check this out
s /2 003-May/003222.html
http://list.wylug.org.uk/pipermail/wylug-discus
"...so that people would underestimate his threat."
...in the parlance of Bush the Lesser that would be 'misunderestimate.'
this is a subliminabable sig
thanks man, dozed off waiting for the other link to connect
Yeah, the audiophile experience is a bit if a wank. I don't see how one can justify hundreds of dollars per foot of speaker wire.
But regarding clipping, I'm not sure clipping while listening to a Bach solo violin partita is desirable. I was under the impression that clipping is desirable for wanking guitar players.
I believe the difference between listening to analogically produced music versus digitally produced music has to do with the way information is stored and how it hits the ears.
Analog recording/playback is done via a continuous stream of 'data' while digital recording/playback consists of 'bits' of data. During playback, the ear is stressed by the 'break' between each 'bit' in a digitally reproduced recording, an effect similar to the 'chopping' sound of a helicopter or a Harley with straight pipes, obviously on a completely different scale. The ear is less stressed by the continuous stream produced by analog recordings, resulting in what for many is a more pleasurable listening experience.
However, the human ear varies in sensitivity from individual to individual, and the phenomenon described above is generally imperceptible in the same way that frequencies beyond the human range of hearing are, but, like those frequencies, the effect is still there, resulting in subjective descriptions of the listening experience as 'warm' or 'round'.
A lot of this is obviously theoretical, and the listening experience is highly subjective, so it ultimately gets down to 'whatever blows your hair back'...assuming one has hair.
I've been using Phoenix with Pegasus Mail (free) on my winders machine for quite a while without any problems, and they work together so well it's like they were made for each other.
...yeah, and soon you'll get charged for hearing the music blasting from the sub-woofer-on-wheels passing through your neighborhood! Time to get out the plugs and blinders!
The U.S. is going down the toilet, and that smirking chimp and his baboons (Bush and his followers) just keep flushing.