The Onion (a hilarious fake news site) wrote a wonderful piece on this after the 9/11 attacks. How such a humorous website can create something so good is beyond me, but here it is: God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule.
Some of my um CLIENTS need to know if their Palm Pre will record visits to their prostitutes.
That's it! That was Palm's motivation all along! To collect one gargantuan database of the most popular prostitutes!
Whoa to datamine this beauty.... you could find out the most popular prostitutes - and avoid them! Go to unpopular ones and haggle for the price! Find out the REAL unpopular ones for the most kinky stuff!
Not that I'd be interested, mind you. No sir, not me.
The sysadmins at all companies I worked for, didn't like virtualization. They all let me choose either a Windows or a Linux installation, apparently because dualbooting makes updating difficult. I.e. with Linux' uptime, it is possible that the Windows installation will not get booted in months to come.
Now they're running out of fresh genres, and desperately working the 2nd level blended stuff.
Creativity has been blooming now that most people can afford instruments and put their music and videos on the internet. Fresh genres are appearing all the time, except my guess is that you are too old to actually be interested enough to put in the time finding new stuff.
I'm 32 and I find that my friends listen to the same old stuff that they listened in their teenager years while I spend hours every week trying to find new stuff.
Hm I wasn't really clear on that, but my guess would be that basically your local desktop/laptop/netbook runs Google OS, then gets synced automatically into your remote instance.
They could do things that the web versions of their app wouldn't be able to, while still have that hosted feeling.
The trouble with NX Free is that it can only allow a few simultaneous connections at a time - I'm hoping Google's server changes this.
If there's one thing they have experience with, it's massive scaling.
Google announced their own OS a week or two ago, I wouldn't be surprised if they were going to offer it as an OS that's remotely accessible. It could be completely installed and ready to go, with your Mail, Docs and GTalk account integrated.
No matter ho many times I tried to show her how to use individual files, she went back to this single document
She was a secretary. They are the most powerful force in the universe, overpowering even things like supernovas, Ozzy Osbourne and the appetite of a pregnant penguin. The way she worked was superior to everything and anything, aeons before time existed and uncountable millenia after the final death croak of the galaxy.
Do not ask me if I have ever tried to explain something to a secretary. I double-dare you.
I'd suck nine dicks to get a job posting pro-Microsoft stuff online
Says "sexwithanimals@gmail.com".... As a point of mild interest, would said dicks preferably be attached to human hosts or aren't you the picky type?:-D
And this is easier than creating a batch script HOW, exactly? [...] could do the same with a single sed line.
Both ways are fine, actually. But using M4 just got me a +4 interesting:D In all seriousness, it's easier to whip up a quick script with sed or Perl. But aside from the old-fashioned syntax, M4 can do the same hob. Point is that someone else has to work with it as well. And sed and Perl are a lot better known than M4.
The first one is a bit vague, but by starting almost every sentence with 'they', you're dividing the team, and everytime you're forgetting a little bit that it's actually a team and not two parties that are at odds with eachother. Yes, I'm overarching a bit.
Second thing is this. What you're basically saying is that managers profit from failing projects. I don't buy this generalization. I've seen managers come off of projects damaged in some way. Even if they jump ship, they will be remembered in the organization.
Problem is, most of those tools are older then me and getting to know them takes a lot of time.
Very true. I try to get to know them at the bare minimum level and then be done with it. Also, when digging up treasures like M4 it's not to say that your colleagues appreciate it. In the case of M4, some saw it as violating graves instead:-)
Everyone seems to have forgotten about M4, an extremely handy standard Unix tool when you need a text file with some parts changed on a regular basis. I'm a developer and I used M4 in my projects.
In a build process for example you often have text files which are the input for some specialized tool. These could be text files in XML for your object-relational mapping tool. These probably won't support some kind of variable input and this is where M4 comes in handy.
Create a file with the extension ".m4" containing macro's like these (mind the quotes, M4 is kind of picky on that):
define(`PREFIX', `jackv')
Then let M4 replace all instances of PREFIX:
$ m4 mymacros.m4 orm-tool.xml
By default, m4 prints to the screen (standard output). Use the shell to redirect to a new file:
Sometimes, it's nice to define a macro based on an environment variable. That's possible too. The following command would suit your needs:
[jackv@testbox1]$ m4 -DPREFIX="$USERNAME" mymacros.m4 orm-tool.xml The shell will expand the variable $USERNAME and the -D option tells M4 that the macro PREFIX is defined as jackv.
"I wanted to work on a project that was going to be successful, and I left when I became convinced that I couldn't contribute effectively given the current set up."
Make sure you're professional enough to talk about these things without badmouthing co-workers or sounding like a legend-in-your-own-mind, but other than that you're fine
I thought about what is different between the message you're giving and the GP his version of the message. Both basically say the same, but your version is better.
GP says: "They did such-and-such, which I suggested they fix. But they just kept doing it. So I threatened with this-and-that, then took off before they could blame me." Lots of THEY in that sentence, says basically: blames other people, not in control.
Then I realized your version is better because it is said from the first-person. In other words: "I wanted such-and-such, but I felt this-and-that, so I did action-such." It shows that you knew to listen to your instincts, and did what was in your power.
I very much doubt that. Because other than for us, they do not get punished for it. They usually get large compensations
They, they, they. It all sounds very black-and-white.
I've seen a project go wrong. The project manager clamored for support but not in the right way. She also did not get it due to an inexperienced division manager. Whatever the reasons, the combination turned out bad. She saw the problems coming, felt she didn't get support and asked to be moved elsewhere. Someone else took over.
Some time later, she told me a potential career movement had been obstructed because someone in the management team remembered her from that bad project. I have not heard about the division manager his career, or the replacement project manager.
My point is that I find your view "zOMG they PROFITS!!" pretty unrealistic. There are lots of sides to stories on failed projects.
You're saying if it's some kind of magic incantation.
Do you know what genetic algorithms are? It's just a bunch of data, plus a "fitness" function in a loop of say 100.000 runs or whatever, and (more or less) randomly changes the data to see if the fitness function gives a better result. First you'll have to write the fitness function, then you'll have to think about how you randomly change the data, and then you'll have to manually tweak it.
It's a simple algorithm, which is only usable in special cases. You're basically saying: see, if we have better engines, and we have automatic transmissions, then we'll have self-replicating cars.
Your subject "It's all about the benjamins...er....yuan" would be nicer if it would say quai instead of yuan. You use the informal name for a dollar, and quai is the colloquial noun. I lived in Shanghai for a couple of months and I have never heard anyone say yuan, only quai.
You're better off getting a keyboard without a numberpad, so that the mouse is closer to your right hand when you are typing and switching to the mouse.
Actually Google Docs its uptime is not worse than my own stuff, if you count broken laptops, etc. It also has a number of features that are hard for me to duplicate (reachable everywhere, revisions, you name it). As others mentioned, you have Google Gears for (part of) Docs, for GMail and for their RSS reader.
As per your comment about a failing internet connection, I have a backup internet connection through my 3G mobile phone.
My presentations are usually outside my office. Relying on a working internet connection for them sounds like a a major PITA to me, considering how much effort is usually involved for accessing a corporate LAN.
Giving presentations off-site/off-line not the purpose of Google Docs. It's meant for sharing, collaborating and what have you. To do a presentation somewhere, just export to PDF and run it full-screen in any PDF viewer, on any OS.
Well, I work at an not-for-profit scientific institute, so we don't have snazzy PowerPoints with moving objects, sounds and icons that match the house style. So it is actually not a bad template:-)
Slashdot Mirror
Are you evil, or is your God?
The Onion (a hilarious fake news site) wrote a wonderful piece on this after the 9/11 attacks. How such a humorous website can create something so good is beyond me, but here it is: God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule.
Some of my um CLIENTS need to know if their Palm Pre will record visits to their prostitutes.
That's it! That was Palm's motivation all along! To collect one gargantuan database of the most popular prostitutes!
Whoa to datamine this beauty.... you could find out the most popular prostitutes - and avoid them! Go to unpopular ones and haggle for the price! Find out the REAL unpopular ones for the most kinky stuff!
Not that I'd be interested, mind you. No sir, not me.
The sysadmins at all companies I worked for, didn't like virtualization. They all let me choose either a Windows or a Linux installation, apparently because dualbooting makes updating difficult. I.e. with Linux' uptime, it is possible that the Windows installation will not get booted in months to come.
I saw sexual organs, both male and female, in each card. They offered me a job in the clinic.
Yes, it's amazing how far you get with the quote "I'm no gynaecologist, but I can take a look"
On the other hand, that also makes it harder for indie artists...
Having heard the quality of most "indie artists," all I can say is thank God for that.
Nice attitude you got going there, buddy. "Collateral damage", it doesn't really mean anything to you, now does it?
Now they're running out of fresh genres, and desperately working the 2nd level blended stuff.
Creativity has been blooming now that most people can afford instruments and put their music and videos on the internet. Fresh genres are appearing all the time, except my guess is that you are too old to actually be interested enough to put in the time finding new stuff.
I'm 32 and I find that my friends listen to the same old stuff that they listened in their teenager years while I spend hours every week trying to find new stuff.
+5 redundant? Are you an IT professional? :)
He works at Google.
Hm I wasn't really clear on that, but my guess would be that basically your local desktop/laptop/netbook runs Google OS, then gets synced automatically into your remote instance.
They could do things that the web versions of their app wouldn't be able to, while still have that hosted feeling.
The trouble with NX Free is that it can only allow a few simultaneous connections at a time - I'm hoping Google's server changes this.
If there's one thing they have experience with, it's massive scaling.
Google announced their own OS a week or two ago, I wouldn't be surprised if they were going to offer it as an OS that's remotely accessible. It could be completely installed and ready to go, with your Mail, Docs and GTalk account integrated.
No matter ho many times I tried to show her how to use individual files, she went back to this single document
She was a secretary. They are the most powerful force in the universe, overpowering even things like supernovas, Ozzy Osbourne and the appetite of a pregnant penguin. The way she worked was superior to everything and anything, aeons before time existed and uncountable millenia after the final death croak of the galaxy.
Do not ask me if I have ever tried to explain something to a secretary. I double-dare you.
I'd suck nine dicks to get a job posting pro-Microsoft stuff online
Says "sexwithanimals@gmail.com".... As a point of mild interest, would said dicks preferably be attached to human hosts or aren't you the picky type? :-D
And this is easier than creating a batch script HOW, exactly? [...] could do the same with a single sed line.
Both ways are fine, actually. But using M4 just got me a +4 interesting :D In all seriousness, it's easier to whip up a quick script with sed or Perl. But aside from the old-fashioned syntax, M4 can do the same hob. Point is that someone else has to work with it as well. And sed and Perl are a lot better known than M4.
Couple of things.
The first one is a bit vague, but by starting almost every sentence with 'they', you're dividing the team, and everytime you're forgetting a little bit that it's actually a team and not two parties that are at odds with eachother. Yes, I'm overarching a bit.
Second thing is this. What you're basically saying is that managers profit from failing projects. I don't buy this generalization. I've seen managers come off of projects damaged in some way. Even if they jump ship, they will be remembered in the organization.
Problem is, most of those tools are older then me and getting to know them takes a lot of time.
Very true. I try to get to know them at the bare minimum level and then be done with it. Also, when digging up treasures like M4 it's not to say that your colleagues appreciate it. In the case of M4, some saw it as violating graves instead :-)
Everyone seems to have forgotten about M4, an extremely handy standard Unix tool when you need a text file with some parts changed on a regular basis. I'm a developer and I used M4 in my projects.
In a build process for example you often have text files which are the input for some specialized tool. These could be text files in XML for your object-relational mapping tool. These probably won't support some kind of variable input and this is where M4 comes in handy.
Create a file with the extension ".m4" containing macro's like these (mind the quotes, M4 is kind of picky on that):
define(`PREFIX', `jackv')
Then let M4 replace all instances of PREFIX:
$ m4 mymacros.m4 orm-tool.xml
By default, m4 prints to the screen (standard output). Use the shell to redirect to a new file:
$ m4 mymacros.m4 orm-tool.xml > personalized-orm-tool.xml
Sometimes, it's nice to define a macro based on an environment variable. That's possible too. The following command would suit your needs:
[jackv@testbox1]$ m4 -DPREFIX="$USERNAME" mymacros.m4 orm-tool.xml
The shell will expand the variable $USERNAME and the -D option tells M4 that the macro PREFIX is defined as jackv.
"I wanted to work on a project that was going to be successful, and I left when I became convinced that I couldn't contribute effectively given the current set up."
Make sure you're professional enough to talk about these things without badmouthing co-workers or sounding like a legend-in-your-own-mind, but other than that you're fine
I thought about what is different between the message you're giving and the GP his version of the message. Both basically say the same, but your version is better.
GP says: "They did such-and-such, which I suggested they fix. But they just kept doing it. So I threatened with this-and-that, then took off before they could blame me." Lots of THEY in that sentence, says basically: blames other people, not in control.
Then I realized your version is better because it is said from the first-person. In other words: "I wanted such-and-such, but I felt this-and-that, so I did action-such." It shows that you knew to listen to your instincts, and did what was in your power.
Something to be learned from that.
I very much doubt that. Because other than for us, they do not get punished for it. They usually get large compensations
They, they, they. It all sounds very black-and-white.
I've seen a project go wrong. The project manager clamored for support but not in the right way. She also did not get it due to an inexperienced division manager. Whatever the reasons, the combination turned out bad. She saw the problems coming, felt she didn't get support and asked to be moved elsewhere. Someone else took over.
Some time later, she told me a potential career movement had been obstructed because someone in the management team remembered her from that bad project. I have not heard about the division manager his career, or the replacement project manager.
My point is that I find your view "zOMG they PROFITS!!" pretty unrealistic. There are lots of sides to stories on failed projects.
You're saying if it's some kind of magic incantation.
Do you know what genetic algorithms are? It's just a bunch of data, plus a "fitness" function in a loop of say 100.000 runs or whatever, and (more or less) randomly changes the data to see if the fitness function gives a better result. First you'll have to write the fitness function, then you'll have to think about how you randomly change the data, and then you'll have to manually tweak it.
It's a simple algorithm, which is only usable in special cases. You're basically saying: see, if we have better engines, and we have automatic transmissions, then we'll have self-replicating cars.
Your subject "It's all about the benjamins...er....yuan" would be nicer if it would say quai instead of yuan. You use the informal name for a dollar, and quai is the colloquial noun. I lived in Shanghai for a couple of months and I have never heard anyone say yuan, only quai.
Just showing off my l33t Chinese skillz :-)
You're better off getting a keyboard without a numberpad, so that the mouse is closer to your right hand when you are typing and switching to the mouse.
I totally agree on this, but what I recently discovered is that there are no affordable curved keyboards such as this one from MS available.
PDF full screen? You're kiddin'... and lose all the transitional effects... that doesn't even cut it for a 3rd-grade presentation.
Are you trolling? Google Docs doesn't support transitions in presentations in the first place.
Actually Google Docs its uptime is not worse than my own stuff, if you count broken laptops, etc. It also has a number of features that are hard for me to duplicate (reachable everywhere, revisions, you name it). As others mentioned, you have Google Gears for (part of) Docs, for GMail and for their RSS reader.
As per your comment about a failing internet connection, I have a backup internet connection through my 3G mobile phone.
How does your company feel about you keeping the presentation data on Google servers?
Well, I work at an not-for-profit scientific institute, so we are encouraged to share information with the rest of the world.
My presentations are usually outside my office. Relying on a working internet connection for them sounds like a a major PITA to me, considering how much effort is usually involved for accessing a corporate LAN.
Giving presentations off-site/off-line not the purpose of Google Docs. It's meant for sharing, collaborating and what have you. To do a presentation somewhere, just export to PDF and run it full-screen in any PDF viewer, on any OS.
Well, I work at an not-for-profit scientific institute, so we don't have snazzy PowerPoints with moving objects, sounds and icons that match the house style. So it is actually not a bad template :-)