"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."
Ahh, I see that you are an adherent to the school of blind faith and superstitions.
A parent is an absolute monarch to his or children, with all the responsibilities that come with that. If a parent abdicates that responsibility, his or her children are already lost.
Be that as it may, a 16 year old kid, who is striking out for independence doesnt want to hear this. Wouldn't it be more wise to at least give them the ILLUSION of freedom. I believe you missed the whole point of my post. If you establish youself as an authoritarian despot, without harvesting any respect or understanding in your parent-child relationship, then your child will HATE you. How many people that you hate do you look up to and obey?
Before making my statements I should qualify them by providing a little info on myself. I am 18, I come from an upper-middle class family and was raised with fundamental christian values, in a conservative part of the country. Like most of my peers I have had a computer in my room with unbridled internet access since the age of 13. I'm also looking a 3 year stint in Federal Prison, and with these damn mandatory sentences it WON'T be probation.
Starting during adolescence I began to develop a healthy streak of rebelliousness. I renounced my religion. Picked up liberal political views, and partook in the common shennanigans of most adolescents. Unfortunately, all of these were major taboos to my parents. They cracked down on my aberrant behavior, and my contradictory beliefs were treated with confusion or scorn. Naturally I came to see them as adversaries, or the enemy. Basicallly people who COULD NOT be trusted. I began to spend more and more time on the computer, since I felt I was being persecutted in the real world. At first it was merely for academic, or gaming purposes, but other aspects of the net began to pique my interest. Eventually I got caught up in numerous illicit activies; spamming, carding, cracking, etc... The reason? I would say for inate thrill of it and due to the fact that it was terribly easy to bring in some extra money. At the outset I was on top of my game, even though my activities were destructive, they gave me a sense of accomplishment which really boosted the self-esteem. Not to mention the fact that I was making almost as much money as my parents. Eventually, however, the stress of hiding my activies from friends and family, the fear of consequences, and the seclusion that comes from being on the computer for 12+ hours at a time led me to become severally depressed. I no longer cared about the consequences or life for that matter, and I began slipping. Eventually I was arrested; thus began my legal troubles.
I think the one thing I most needed to prevent such an outcome was a support network. Either a groups of friends or family members , with whom, I could speak candidly and without fear. Had my parents connected with me in some manner, and established the fact that they were on my side things would have wound up very differently. Rather that arbitrarily shouting out orders, I wished respectfull reasoning would have been used. At sixteen, like most other teenagers, I viewed myself as an adult. Obviously at such an age, one lacks the wisdom and knowledge necessary to operate in our society, and in my opinion, it is the parents duty to impart such information on the teenager. Failure to do so, due to neglect, lack of trust, ignorance or a host of other reasons, can be in my opinion a fatal blow to the adolescent.
As for monitoring computer access, I think the parent should surreptiously do so until the child turns 18. Stand off and take a passive approach to the monitoring. If the need to step in arises, do so in a respectful manner, and instead of going off on a tirade, listen to the child's reasoning for engaging in the abberrant activities, and then offer your own counterperspectives.
Slashdot Mirror
Before making my statements I should qualify them by providing a little info on myself. I am 18, I come from an upper-middle class family and was raised with fundamental christian values, in a conservative part of the country. Like most of my peers I have had a computer in my room with unbridled internet access since the age of 13. I'm also looking a 3 year stint in Federal Prison, and with these damn mandatory sentences it WON'T be probation.
Starting during adolescence I began to develop a healthy streak of rebelliousness. I renounced my religion. Picked up liberal political views, and partook in the common shennanigans of most adolescents. Unfortunately, all of these were major taboos to my parents. They cracked down on my aberrant behavior, and my contradictory beliefs were treated with confusion or scorn. Naturally I came to see them as adversaries, or the enemy. Basicallly people who COULD NOT be trusted. I began to spend more and more time on the computer, since I felt I was being persecutted in the real world. At first it was merely for academic, or gaming purposes, but other aspects of the net began to pique my interest. Eventually I got caught up in numerous illicit activies; spamming, carding, cracking, etc... The reason? I would say for inate thrill of it and due to the fact that it was terribly easy to bring in some extra money. At the outset I was on top of my game, even though my activities were destructive, they gave me a sense of accomplishment which really boosted the self-esteem. Not to mention the fact that I was making almost as much money as my parents. Eventually, however, the stress of hiding my activies from friends and family, the fear of consequences, and the seclusion that comes from being on the computer for 12+ hours at a time led me to become severally depressed. I no longer cared about the consequences or life for that matter, and I began slipping. Eventually I was arrested; thus began my legal troubles.
I think the one thing I most needed to prevent such an outcome was a support network. Either a groups of friends or family members , with whom, I could speak candidly and without fear. Had my parents connected with me in some manner, and established the fact that they were on my side things would have wound up very differently. Rather that arbitrarily shouting out orders, I wished respectfull reasoning would have been used. At sixteen, like most other teenagers, I viewed myself as an adult. Obviously at such an age, one lacks the wisdom and knowledge necessary to operate in our society, and in my opinion, it is the parents duty to impart such information on the teenager. Failure to do so, due to neglect, lack of trust, ignorance or a host of other reasons, can be in my opinion a fatal blow to the adolescent.
As for monitoring computer access, I think the parent should surreptiously do so until the child turns 18. Stand off and take a passive approach to the monitoring. If the need to step in arises, do so in a respectful manner, and instead of going off on a tirade, listen to the child's reasoning for engaging in the abberrant activities, and then offer your own counterperspectives.