Fuck that shiznit. I realize people are proud of their products and want to get the word out that these things exist and are available to buy. I like to know what cool toys exist too, but contentless ads that flash and flicker don't do anything to promote a product. All the ads do is proclaim "Hey! We're desparate for your attention and your dollars!" Fuck that. Tell me about your product, damn it! Needless to say, I ignore and right-click block all graphical banner ads, including the ones on Slashdot, but I do read text ads.
How to suck dick [Happy Valentine's Day!]
on
Zaurus SL-C860 Review
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· Score: -1, Troll
How to suck cock (for gay men and straight women):
I love blow jobs. Not just getting them, but giving them. It's an amazing experience. Being gay, I may not be typical for a man, however straight women generally have an even stronger aversion from dick sucking than straight men. Females not only don't know how to suck dick, they don't want to learn. They don't own the equipment, they don't understand the male drive, they don't know how a blow job feels, and they don't know how penises work. In fact, while many women have experimented with dick sucking, 90% of them don't like or don't want to try sucking dick. That's unfortunate because they are missing out on a rewarding experience. Likewise, their men are missing out on a very exciting experience. Let's face it, if you want to receive not just a blowjob, but a blowjob, you probably want a guy for a partner. Unless, of course, this guide helps transfer the carnal knowledge of pleasuring a man from a gay man to the straight women out there. If not, I hope to at least transfer this knowledge to another gay man out there.:)
The penis is one of the most wonderful parts of the body to suck. Nothing can compare to its size, shape, texture, warmth, taste, and its response to touch. Female breasts are rather inanimate in comparison. Their only redeeming qualities are the nipples that respond to touch, but guys have nipples too, so it's not an exclusively feminine part of the body.
It is important to give yourself a weekend of privacy the first time you try to suck off a guy. You may not be able to the first time and will need extra time the next day or two to try again. If you don't give yourself a weekend, you can end up failing and then next time you will make the same mistakes again because you will not remember what you did wrong the previous time.
You probably have noticed it's much harder to masturbate while standing up. It is much more difficult to get a guy off if he's standing up, especially if you've never sucked off a guy before. Although blowjobs are stereotypically associated with a kneeling giver, in practice, that is an uncomfortable position for the receiver as he must either sit or stand. Instead, have your partner lie down on his back on a bed (or somewhere soft and flat). Here's a good (censored cartoon) example of such a position. Note how both bodies are aligned. Note also that it will get very hot underneath a blanket of any thickness, so lose the blanket unless the room is uncomfortably cold. Use your own experiences of masturbation in private to guide you as much as possible.
Notice how the dick is not completely cylindrical, but is slightly flattened? That shape is designed to fit perfectly in the mouth. There's no way evolution could have better designed a part for sucking. Note that the most sensitive portion of the penis is the length underneath the shaft. This should clue you in on how to position yourself to suck him. You will want to scoot yourself down so that you are 1) straddling one or both of his legs or 2) kneeling beside him or between his legs. Find out what works for the both of you.
The underneath of his shaft should rest on your tongue and his penis should lie flat in your mouth. Once you take him into your mouth, try turning your head 90 degrees around his cock and you will notice that you will have to open wider to accomodate him. The wider you have open your mouth, the quicker you will tire, so make sure you align yourself for the most comfort. Likewise, your partner will enjoy it more if your tongue is in the right place.
Lick along the length of the shaft and give the tip a few licks around the ridge of the tip. Have fun. Take his tip in your mouth and suck. You may want to hold his shaft down at an angle just enough to allow his penis to enter your mouth smoothly. By now, you may notice a drip of clear liquid forming at the tip of his
"Asa" means "morning" and "Dachi" (or rather "Tachi") means "standing". Sometimes "t" is turned into a "d" to make the word easier to say, kind of like how the English word "better" is often pronounced as "bedder". Anyways, if you put the two words together, you get "morning standing". I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out what body part is *ahem* standing.
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growisofs works well for DVD+R(W). It's supposed to support -R(W)s now too, but I haven't test that yet.
Then burn your +R's with the DVD-ROM booktype for your older equipment.
Fuck that shiznit. I realize people are proud of their products and want to get the word out that these things exist and are available to buy. I like to know what cool toys exist too, but contentless ads that flash and flicker don't do anything to promote a product. All the ads do is proclaim "Hey! We're desparate for your attention and your dollars!" Fuck that. Tell me about your product, damn it! Needless to say, I ignore and right-click block all graphical banner ads, including the ones on Slashdot, but I do read text ads.
How to suck cock (for gay men and straight women):
:)
I love blow jobs. Not just getting them, but giving them. It's an amazing experience. Being gay, I may not be typical for a man, however straight women generally have an even stronger aversion from dick sucking than straight men. Females not only don't know how to suck dick, they don't want to learn. They don't own the equipment, they don't understand the male drive, they don't know how a blow job feels, and they don't know how penises work. In fact, while many women have experimented with dick sucking, 90% of them don't like or don't want to try sucking dick. That's unfortunate because they are missing out on a rewarding experience. Likewise, their men are missing out on a very exciting experience. Let's face it, if you want to receive not just a blowjob, but a blowjob, you probably want a guy for a partner. Unless, of course, this guide helps transfer the carnal knowledge of pleasuring a man from a gay man to the straight women out there. If not, I hope to at least transfer this knowledge to another gay man out there.
The penis is one of the most wonderful parts of the body to suck. Nothing can compare to its size, shape, texture, warmth, taste, and its response to touch. Female breasts are rather inanimate in comparison. Their only redeeming qualities are the nipples that respond to touch, but guys have nipples too, so it's not an exclusively feminine part of the body.
It is important to give yourself a weekend of privacy the first time you try to suck off a guy. You may not be able to the first time and will need extra time the next day or two to try again. If you don't give yourself a weekend, you can end up failing and then next time you will make the same mistakes again because you will not remember what you did wrong the previous time.
You probably have noticed it's much harder to masturbate while standing up. It is much more difficult to get a guy off if he's standing up, especially if you've never sucked off a guy before. Although blowjobs are stereotypically associated with a kneeling giver, in practice, that is an uncomfortable position for the receiver as he must either sit or stand. Instead, have your partner lie down on his back on a bed (or somewhere soft and flat). Here's a good (censored cartoon) example of such a position. Note how both bodies are aligned. Note also that it will get very hot underneath a blanket of any thickness, so lose the blanket unless the room is uncomfortably cold. Use your own experiences of masturbation in private to guide you as much as possible.
Notice how the dick is not completely cylindrical, but is slightly flattened? That shape is designed to fit perfectly in the mouth. There's no way evolution could have better designed a part for sucking. Note that the most sensitive portion of the penis is the length underneath the shaft. This should clue you in on how to position yourself to suck him. You will want to scoot yourself down so that you are 1) straddling one or both of his legs or 2) kneeling beside him or between his legs. Find out what works for the both of you.
The underneath of his shaft should rest on your tongue and his penis should lie flat in your mouth. Once you take him into your mouth, try turning your head 90 degrees around his cock and you will notice that you will have to open wider to accomodate him. The wider you have open your mouth, the quicker you will tire, so make sure you align yourself for the most comfort. Likewise, your partner will enjoy it more if your tongue is in the right place.
Lick along the length of the shaft and give the tip a few licks around the ridge of the tip. Have fun. Take his tip in your mouth and suck. You may want to hold his shaft down at an angle just enough to allow his penis to enter your mouth smoothly. By now, you may notice a drip of clear liquid forming at the tip of his
Hey that's my line!
Mods please be nice. It's Christmas, after all.
Because the RIAA owns the radio stations?
Asadachi = Morning wood
"Asa" means "morning" and "Dachi" (or rather "Tachi") means "standing". Sometimes "t" is turned into a "d" to make the word easier to say, kind of like how the English word "better" is often pronounced as "bedder". Anyways, if you put the two words together, you get "morning standing". I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out what body part is *ahem* standing.