Slashdot Mirror
Weird Presents Anyone?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!
HOW'S MY POSTING? CALL 1-800-POSTING
Personally, i got a first post! :-P
My Stack Overflow user
My friends got me a blow-up doll, complete with inflatable breasts and two holes.
I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
My "favorite" gift was a red club monaco sweatshirt. This after I flew home from grad school wanting to "be with the folks." The shirt is still with me. The folks still exist as well ... but I am now in another country.
Symptoms of deeper family problems are difficult to shed during the holidays.
ELITISM: It's always lonely at the top. Uninvited company is rarely welcome.
The weirdest gift was when I was 15, I got a $50 savings bond and a guaranteed plot at a funeral home
i once got a broken laptop
Did anybody get a /. subscription as a gift? Anybody?
I got a 40 gig iPod for Xmas. But the weird part is that when I looked at the diagnostics menu, it said it was only 37.1 gigs! Apple played Grinch and stole 3 gigs of music from me. :(
C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
My brother got a bottleopener that can record samples and replay them. That's pretty odd. Any suggestions of messages?
:D)
(On a side note: I got Band of brothers on DVD amongst other things - way cool
For me, the weirdest presents this year came in the form of clothes from my grandma that I wouldn't actually be embarassed to wear!!
:)
A really smart shirt from Next (clothes store in the UK, not the old UNIX company!), and a silk tie from tie rack - both of which were really smart, and totally suitable to wear to work.
I was stunned!
"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!!"
I was given (by a christian relative) an autobiography of christian golfer Bernhard Langer. A pretty poor attempt to turn me onto 'the right path'! Next year I'm going to buy them something by Richard Dawkins.
We ARE the peat bog soldiers.
Along with the usual sweaters, socks and underwear I get every year, this year I got something special..
:D
My mother in law excitedly handed me my gift this year with a big grin on her face. I opened the box and what was there?
A seagate Barricuda 7200rpm 120gig hard drive!
"Now you can download more movies and burn them to dvd (vcd)" she says.
Large capacity hard drives, the gift that keeps on giving all year long
clothes, clothes, and more clothes. thank god no turtle necks. sucks to be me.
A friend was nice enough to get me a book called "Why Be Good?" and even highlight select passages for me. One such note in the book is the highlighting of a chapter called "Ego Management." Think they're trying to tell me something?
when I find myself you'll be the first to know.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Think they are trying to tell you something?
called "Casual Romance Club". It is written by Peach Princess.
I have big plans for this game. I'm going to use it to learn how to interact with women and to learn what to say to get them to have sex with me.
Once I've perfected the technique in the sim, I'm going to go out and try it for real!
I'll be doing the hokey pokey in no time.
Oh well too slow...
Missed first post by a minute. Stupid unplugged ethernet cord. Anyhow, worst Hannukah present my friend got was Marathon for Mac when he had a PC. He then gave it to me, the Mac gamer and all he could do was watch me play.
I just got a spanking
If somebody got you deodorant, don't you think they were trying to send you a message?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
your gift givers think you are fat and smelly
100% Insightful
I got a Toto Jasmin!
www.totousa.com
I gave a tripod to my brother's digital camera. When he got home, he couldn't really figure out how to fasten all the bolts and screws. He tried to explain it, but the phrase "I can't find the camera lock" didn't help very much.
What to do?
Of course, he took a picture of the tripod with his digital camera and e-mailed it to me. A quick look and I remembered that on this tripod (Velbon Cx-560) you turn the handle.
Voila! We live in frightingly comfortable times, don't we?
Let's see anyone out weird that!
Well as a good geek I got a Hornby Live Steam trainset - the loco' is a Mallard and it's powered by steam. Digitally controlled. http://www.hornbyrailways.com/pages/livestm_live.a spx The nephews who came around after Mass were suitably impressed.
Bad analogies are like waxing a monkey with a rainbow.
I got a 2-disc LOTR:FOTR set, a 4-disc LOTR:TTT set, a quarter book, a pair of reindeer antlers (WTF?), and a Pentium 233 MMX box (it'll be a K6-III-400 pretty soon).
the Beagle has NOT landed
I got a combination wallet/calculator from Radio Shack. Who buys a wallet from RS? Old folks are so crazy. This is the same aunt who last year bought me a combination mouse pad/calculator. Next year I bet I get a calculator watch.
Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.
I got ten shares of SCO.
I would have preferred a roll of Charmin.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.
No pattern there.
Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
This isn't weird but:
I received a sweatshirt that's XXL and I'm a Medium.
Huh?
Allright... pass the butter.
My brother got a llama calendar.
When you look at the state of the world, how can you not become a radical, liberal anarchist?
My Xmas:
6 pairs of black socks
1 can of mixed nuts (i hate most nuts)
A bottle of leather conditioner (presumably for my car)
A pair of cheap $20 headphones (left side doesn't work)
15 losing $1-2 lottery tickets
$10 in gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (love them, but the closest one is an HOUR away. All Dunkin' Donuts around here.)
Speaker stands for the surround sound system I don't have.
-----
I gave...
My sister a nice Capresso CoffeeTEC coffee maker because her current coffee maker broke, and this does lattes and hot cocoa to boot, which she loves. Also got her an assortment of coffee from Gevalia.
My parents to share, got them 5 classic movie DVDs (Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bridge on the River Kwai, Casablanca). My mom a backyard birdwatching and project book, a pair of nice binoculars. My father I got a 10GB iPod (bring his MP3s in his car without him constantly burning CDs), and a new copy of MS Trips and Streets (to replace his 1994 Rand McNally software which he still uses regularly).
-----
I know its not what you get, but the thought that counts, but I think I put in a lot more thought than they did.
----- ----- ----- -----
They make inflatable sheep too. Makes a great gift for certain University of Washington alumni.
Not only did I get nothing but CLOTHES for christmas.. My parents bought me a hamper to put them in. *rolls eyes*
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
It was a message. Your breath stinks, you have BO, and you're too skinny.
I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it. I can;t wait till New Years!! Mwahaahaha!!!!
adventure-today.com
So for me that means Chinese food and a movie, although I also volunteered at the local food bank this morning.
My girlfriend gave me a $200 gift certificate to an electronics store. It was a tough decision between a PS2 and an ipod, she couldn't make it either, hence the GC. The PS2 won. Becuase I didn't want to spend another $200 on the ipod.
The ps2 fit nicely in the $200 aligned gift certificate without allocating one more. Geeky?
My dad is a goofball and gave me a wedge of Gouda Cheese in my stocking. Everything else in there smelled like cheese.
my mother handed me 8 $50 checks that I can use to buy groceries at school.
Now I just need to convince myself not to use it for some brand new shiny camera lens, which would result in a higher than usual amount of starvation. So tempted...who needs to eat when you have shiny toys?
My ex-girlfriend gave me my most-appreciated gift.
I gave the best gifts to my sister and nieces and nephews.
Funny how that is, eh?
My girlfriend got me razor-sharp shurikens that I can use to assassinate my enemies in the dark of night!
Winchester Model 1894 .30-30
Armalite AR-180B
Remington Model 700 VLS
I wrote Santa and asked for a pussy. So I unwrap the box and see only a goddam alley cat.....male even.
Table-ized A.I.
One of my female friends bought me a 100% Authentic Pakistanian Polyester Smoking Jacket. Also a replacement key for my Scroll Lock key (that i never use) that's bright orange and says "X%&#!" on it. she's cute :)
My mom bought me a smoke detector for christmas, and nothing else.
>> I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant
do you perhaps think they're trying to tell you something?
I love my family. :D
Aarghh! As if getting this instead of the comments wasn't enough, now I'm seeing it in the comments. Please, sir, kindly hang yourself..
A box of miniature chocolate bars. Yep, that's it. I guess they must not have appreciated my purchase of Microsoft's Streets and Trips 2004 for their computer. Oh well! :)
All your bays are belong to us!
Since I graduate with my B.S. in May 2004, I get the feeling I got kinda-sorta screwed for Christmas... I made a quasi-reasonable list, I thought... Tivo, HTPC, or iPod, pick any one, and got back, "We'll see..." So far, no iPod, HTPC, or Tivo-shaped boxes under the tree...
Ah well. More socks. What's fun is that I had to deliver an ultimatum to my younger sibling (who's 17, and has a *faint* glimmering of understanding the real world) that I wanted a $25 GC to Barnes and Noble... the boy *knows* I spend several hundred dollars there a year... sheesh...
Kind of sensible really, mom got me a bag of coffee beans per month for the rest of the year, which should be cool.
A bit better than her giving me 21 different varieties of pasta for my 21st!
We Build Beautiful Websites
My mom got me some fancy Lifestyles condoms..... given the fact that I"m only 19 and have never mentioned sex to her, it's kinda odd she would get me something like this. I just hope she didn't find some used wrapper somewhere in my old bedroom!
All good xmas gifts! I have always had at least one or two rotten gifts. Books about birds, heavy winter coats without sleeves, buckwheat pancake mix.. you name it! But this year, to my joyous disbelief I got great gifts: a ps2, some games, nice clothes, two towers, chocolate, and money from my aunt. I can't wait to write my thank you notes!
Dear Aunt,
Thanks for the money, I bought beer.
Your Loving Nephew Reindeer,
"Blitzed"en
All of your four presents appear to suggest you have a bad breath. ;-) SCNR...
open (SIG, "</dev/zero"); $sig = <SIG>; close SIG;
Well, I did not get ANYTHING for Christmas, you insensitive clod! :-)
Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
it is christmas after all
...was wrapped gift wrap.
Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.
I'm sure a few people where hoping for framed images of Goatse.cx and tubgirl. I thought about giving out a few but I'm more down with tacky and untasteful gifts. Those were just to normal. Maybe thinkgeek will have them on special some day.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant,
Maybe your friends/family are trying to tell you something!
I just wasted your mod points! HA!
My girlfriend and I went to Scores (strip club in NYC) and I bought her lap dances. Everyone was happy!
2 GC Games (TH Underground, XIII), 2 Gundam models, 2 shirts, yet another in a never ending series of annual all-in-one Leatherman analogue tools. Typical of /.'ers I would think.
My friend got me a cheese grater and a bunch of little candles.(and apprently a couple of shot glasses) on the card it says " for when you're in the mood and want to grate cheese. p.s. the candle holders can be used as shot glasses." fire, alcohol and cheese. it is x-mas.
Their cunning plan was uncovered today. In addition, I think you should consider showering more often ;)
- 4r0g
This is by far the strangest: from my brother, I received a small button with a picture of Dilton from Archie comics, looking confused. He's prided himself this year on strange, nonsensical gifts.
Bít, zabít, jen proto, ze su liska!
Me and my s.o. got a Shocking Roulette game from a friend who is studying in Scotland (it's supposed to be popular around there?). It's for 2-4 players. Each puts a finger inside this machine, the lights start blinking, and as they stop the lucky winner is rewarded with an electric shock. "The more you sweat the worse it gets!"
My wife got a Caron-Monoxide detector from her secret Santa at the their holiday party.
Other people got wine, gadgets, chocolate...
Mind you we have a small house and we have two already detectors allready.
But, CO poisoning is serious stuff up here in the great northern state, so I guess the best way to look at it is that at LEAST one of her fellow employees would like her to survive the winter. (We had a family of five die this month from it.)
*A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.*
I received a wonderful gift in my e-mail box from the King of Nigeria this morning. He said that if I gave him my life savings, he would give me $400,000,000. What a kind fellow, fully of holiday cheer, to make such a generous offer!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
I got a $200 dollar gift cert from my mother :-P )
$50 from my father (who makes way more than my mother, cheapsakate
$20 from my aunt and uncle
A T-shirt that says "Zombie Joe's Coffee, wake the dead". A fine shirt but I'm allergic to caffine so I don't drink coffee. From an aunt.
A car cleaning kit for my car from my other aunt.
I figure I'll keep everything and use the Gift Cert to buy a PS2 or XBOX and a game. Now to get the broadband adaptor or not? Hmmm
My aunt gave me Plastic Ribbed Shelf Liner, a whole 12" wide, "economical 10' role".
Chamrin
It's only like 2pm where I'm at and we haven't even gathered at my parent's house yet. We'll probably do that in a few more hours.
I always tell everyone to get me NOTHING but typically they'll still always get me a little something for a gift. I really don't like getting xmas gifts and am more into giving them. Besides, there's nothing I want that I don't have. As a guy with a job, anything I want I tend to buy right away. It isn't a guy type of thing to be all like "I really want this and this and this... but I'll just wait and hope someone buys it for me"... usually we go out and buy it when it strikes our fancy.
So yeah... there isn't anything I want for xmas and am not expecting to get anything except maybe a DVD or a keychain that makes noise when you clap (I've lost so manyf ucking keys this year)...
I got a picture frame. No picture or anything inside it, JUST a picture frame. When opening it, I was all "Holy crap, I wonder what it is! It's a, oh, it's a picture frame. Great, thanks a bunch!"
Best. Christmas. Ever.
My finest gift was a small box of Lemon Flavored Pez Coated Popcorn. I had no idea that anyone alive would be twisted enough to market this.
Well, in a manner of speaking...
I got a nice chair for my computer with wheels. Now I can navigate between the 7 computers in my room with tons of ease and comfort to boot.
404
Earlier this year I was annoyed by s few flies. I asked my wife to pick up a no-pest strip at the store. She couldn't find any, so I forgot about it.
Today I unwrap a present to find a mechanical replica of a Venus Flytrap plant, complete with some sort of sticky insert to trap bugs of all sorts. The box proudly exclaims that "it burps when it's caught a bug"...
<sigh>
two johnny cash albums, and a pair of socks.
I wouldn't have been upset except for the fact that I play bass for a heavy metal band, and my parents know this...
They aren't even GOOD cash albums even.
--Forest C. Adcock--
D-Link bluetooth USB adapter, LOTR TTT extended DVD set and a 50 euro gift certificate for the local comic shop. I'd say it's been a good xmas holiday so far.
On sundays ,my father wears a pinocio outfit and ...
Oh, I thought the title said "weird parents".
sorry.
Not to sound smug here but my Wife and I got out of debt.
Minimal presents to other people, no big dinner or tree and no huge tech presents for either of us. Instead we sneaked past the finish line in our "Debt Free in 2003" goal.
This Christmas is bare by many western standards, but now we can start saving for a deposit for a house. (Yeah, more debt there but what can one do about that?).
----- Documentation is worth it just to be able to answer all your mail with 'RTFM' - Alan Cox.
She put an emory board in my stocking. And nail clippers. Does she not realize I'm male? I'm not exactly metrosexual, either...
--RIAmAses! Let my MP3ople go!
Obviously they are trying to tell you not to get a job and stop sleeping under the 405.
I didn't get what I wanted....
George Bush pushing for peace on earth, and good will to all men.
Remember kids! Guns don't kill people - Americans kill people.
I got an 80gig HD... Yah more room.. and an electric tooth brush... Thats all I need yah know another peice of crap I can't afford to charge.
4, yes 4, sweaters - I have one, which is enough
3 shirts - I have well too many as is
pair of jeans - I have 4, more than plenty
2 pairs of khaki pants - I have 1 pair, the right amount
pair of New Balance shoes - I already have a perfectly good pair
Homer Simpson slippers - this gift actually didn't suck
200$ - I do love my horde of money.
Beh, at least I have plenty of food to eat (actually all the food at my house sucks), a place to sleep, and a car (2000 Toyota Prius, I love it!). It could be worse.
Home made jerkey, life savers, varoius chocolates, a digital camera, $200 worth of tools, and $300 in cash from relatives.
My parents and myself all kicked in some dollars to get my sister a lap top for school.
> Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant,
Dude, I would seriously consider what this person is trying to tell you!
No sig for you.
Looks Like the $$ from Grama will go to replace the head gaskets in the Windstar, second time in 7 years, not for the DVD burner & video cap card.
I woke up and found a meter-wide disk-shaped space probe right under my tree, hot to the touch. It kept beeping this odd British pop tune. Bummer, there were no chocolates in it though.
Table-ized A.I.
My girlfriend gave toilet paper & laundry soap to her brothers and their families. Happy Holidays!
For Christmas, I got ice cubes with a matching ice cube tray.
I got some crumby cologne from T.J. Maxx from my 8th grade English teacher. It was very likely the most embarassing moment of my school life. She gave it to me in class and I was the only one to receive a gift. So, so, so embarassing (primarily because i smelled bad and was too busy kernel hacking to take a shower when I was at home) Ahh, those were the days...
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Sounds like it's from someone who had a really bad date with you.
Mmmm.. Donuts
...and it smells like toothpaste.
I guess my mother thinks I reek and scare off all the ho ho hos? Nah...geeks never get girlftiends. (I love you, baby
CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?
A good friend of mine came by and presented me with a wrapped item, about 1 meter long with bulges on each end. I tried to guess the contents, but to no avail. It turned out to be a beat-up air horn off of a large truck - which he had found in a junk yard. It didn't take long to find the fittings in the junk box to wake up the neighbothood with it.
Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?
Soli Deo Gloria
lol
Merry Christmas anyway!
I got Mod Points for Christmas! Thanks Santa!
Isn't that its own present? I got mostly shirts.
Regular Meta Moderators are not more likely to get mod points.
I recently moved out on my own into an apartment in Portland with my fiancee, and this Christmas from my brother I got a $25 gift certificate from Home Depot... now, at first glance that might make sense, but if he'd checked he'd have realized that:
1) The nearest Home Depot is 50 miles away and I don't have a car.
2) You can't use them online.
3) There's hardly anything there you can buy for $25 that isn't sold by the pound anyway.
I'm selling it back to my dad for cash and thanking my brother politely for the thoughtful gift.
A black leather trenchcoat. Absolutely normal...
...except I live in Florida and spend Christmas/Winter in shorts and a tank-top.
How about finding an opened bottle of peanut butter in your stocking.
Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".
-"Mom, I don't use Windows".
+"So how do you use Word?"
-"I don't".
+"Oh, Hmm, how do you use MSN?"
-"I Don't!!!!"
+"But I know you get email".
-"Yes"
+"Well that's certainly strange".
-"No, it isn't. MSN is not the Internet"
+"Oh, well here's you're Chrismas present, a copy of Freelancer". (Which is some MS game I never heard of)
Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.
Anyone want an unopened copy of Freelancer?
My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. She gave my two sons my mechanical pencils.
I got Herbal Essences Dandruff shampoo... I guess I can have an orgasmi.. organic experience while removing the dandruff I don't have. *shrug* I got the usual black socks too, and a Full Metal Panic DVD, some dishes and stuff for my dorm, and then clothes. Oh and $110 which I'll probably use to replace my funky Maxtor 100 gig drive (I'm never buying a maxtor again). ... anyway, Merry Christmas
My aunt got her son's homework!!!
from my parent, i got a golden motorcycle model lighter. why weird?
1) i don't smoke
2) i don't ride a motorcycle
3) i don't collect model
and...
4) they let all the gas out because they are paranoid about the house getting burnt down.
oh, and
5) ???
6) profit
I have a theory about this. Geeks in general are interested in things that look impenetrable to others. You want an external hard drive for christmas, or music production software? Besides the fact that those things are somewhat expensive, the details the non-geek would have to become familiar with the get the gift right (heck, to figure out where to purchase such things) are a daunting barrier. So they drop back and punt on the gifts they do understand, or things they see you as needing (for example, maybe they see you wear white socks all the time)....
:) It's just an observation. I'll probably never get great geek gifts, and I don't think most geeks will.
My own family works pretty much this way, especially my parents, who'd rather buy another set of underwear for me than subject themselves to the fear and confusion they associate with shopping online. But on the other hand, every once in a while they get things exactly right -- like, buying me the LOTR trilogy two years ago... I wouldn't have even asked for it because I hadn't read it since high school and wasn't too into it then, but once I picked it up again I was hooked. And then there's my siblings, who actually have a great sense of style and when they buy me clothes it's great. So this isn't a "poor me" rant.
Tweet, tweet.
My uncle, who worked for the Air Force in some sort of intelligence/communications aspect, gave us an unusually heavy small package last year. Inside was our very own gurkha knife, leather holster, display stand (which I promptly broke), and instructions. According to the care and use instructions, this knife and other fine ones like it could be found in Muhammed's Knife Emporium, blah blah street, Kathmandu. The instructions included such gems as "Be sure not leave fingers on blade from cleaning". This year's present was a carved pen-sized fish with two screws coming out the bottom of the head. We have no idea what it is, where it came from, or what it does. This seems to be a typical feature of my uncle's presents, come to think of it..
A Piezoelectric Transformer
Thats what I got, no shens. But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!
Bill Gates took my pants, and I thank him for it.
Actualy, wasn't weird: it was a dress but it was the ugliest dress I could find. Of course was a joke but the funny part was to see my mother's face trying to smile (a very yellow smile!) and saying it was beautiful and thank you until I burst in laught. :-D
When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present
Scientia est Potentia
I got a NASCAR leather racing jacket, NASCAR Winston Cup pennants, NASCAR candies, books off of my amazon wish list, a cordless Dremel (model 8000). And some cars and track! Did I mention I like to race?
"If you are on fire you can just stop, drop, and roll. If you fall into Lava you are just dead." - my 5yr old daughter
A nice sweater from my HOT GIRLFRIEND.
A copy of Vivaldi's Four Seasons.
A belt.
Gift Certificates for A&B Sound and Chapters.
An American Eagle shirt (two Christmases in a row for my brother, they're the only two shirts I have from whatever store it is, and I never shop there).
A copy of Quicksilver by Stephenson.
Parts for a new computer. Mine died just around essay time, so I spent a lot of time in the lab. Not something I want to repeat. I can't wait to get back to Winnipeg so I can put this one together. I picked out the parts in advance and accompanied my Dad down to Memory Express so that I got only what I wanted.
Black socks.
One of those 40 year calendars. That's probably the weirdest gift.
That's it. I think I'll go by the new Onion anthology or whatever from Chapters tomorrow.
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew
You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock- both Jewish
Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
Celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew- he converted
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish- not too shabby
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is
All three Stooges
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
On this lovely, lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah
Happy Chanukah
let me know, I'll be happy to put you on my naughty list right away.
Don't forget, Christmas is coming, and I check my list twice!
Obligatory Penny Arcade link
I'm assuming the person who gave it to me isn't expecting me to fly anywhere after Christmas :)
1/6 ghz G5 and an eyeTV+Remote Wonder package. The eyeTV/RW isn't here yet, but that's ok. I win.
Didn't get anything off-the-wall, because my relatives are all conscious enough to buy straight off my Amazon wish list - PC games, DVDs, Richard Dawkins books....the weekend isn't long enough for all this loot :)
not even an extra large or gourmet one, just one my mom saw in the supermarket yesterday and decided to get for me.
and salami isn't even my favorite food or anything, it was just a really random gift
------ Work is so much easier when you don't
My 19 year old got a nice leather appointment book/planner from an out of town relative. Just the thing to help a college freshman stay organized. Really. A thoughtful gift. The cool thing about it is that it's a 1999 calendar.
And I got a sweatshirt with the name of the local pro hockey team on it. Officially licensed NHL gear, purchased from a national department store chain. The team name is misspelled.
Out of date Daytimer....$5. Sweatshirt that slipped past the QC inspector....$7.50. A Christmas tale we'll laugh about for years....priceless.
I've got two younger (11 and 12) brother-in-laws. They're into collectable playing cards (such as Magic: The Gathering). One of them is quite the selfish type and quite conscious of other peoples' opinions of him; the other one is a bit more geeky and off in his own world.
:P
I got them each a Core Set deck. The one more fitting for the geeky b-in-l (Sky Slam/blue) I wrapped simply - just put it in a small box slightly larger than the deck - I also put a $5 bill in. The other one (Burn/red), I put in a large box with heavy objects (several rocks wrapped in paper). I didn't put any names on the packages.
I then let the older/less geeky b-in-l pick the present that he wanted. Being selfish, he picked the larger one. The result: a lesson hopefully learned - and if not, hopeful progress made on that lesson.
I love playing mind games with influential youngsters.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
My girlfriend got me an iPod! Now I just have to figure out how the darn thing works. So far, so good.
You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
My parents gave me six tins of tuna and a jar of cherries.
My Aunt found out I like Science Fiction.
So she got me the new Tim LaHaye book.
Great. Quasi-christian religious propaganda. Used book store will probably take it in exchange for something. Maybe I can eBay it and get some new guitar strings or the next Paarfi book.
Leather fanny pack, Pirated DVD, Soap on a Rope
Yeah...odd Christmas indeed.
As of 10/06/03, I hate COBOL developers.
While this isn't a weird present in and of itself, there is one problem with it: she has eczema.
My wife bought herself a car, I got the payments. /me scratches head..
As usual, a pair of socks, but not just any socks, a pair with a message, "D'oh, another pair of socks".
Wish people would think about what they're buying. I got part 2 of a book series I don't have part 1 to as well, great fun.
This is what I got! http://www.lego.com/eng/create/technic/default.asp ?x=x&id=8455
It does say 11-99 - I'm in there!
An absurd gift, An Amish man (beard, hat etc..)puppet who's spring loaded arms can pack quite a nice hit - A completely bizarre gift from my equally bizarre sister... The company that makes it also makes a Nun punching puppet...
If the worth of the house is more than the cost of the mortage, it's not really a debt. You could easily turn around and sell the house, pay off the mortgage, and have some money to boot.
Rent is debt, it's a continuing eternal debt. Owning a house is owning something that's worth something, even if you have to pay a very large amount of money for it.
--
Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
My dad's GF got me a vibrating pen. You press the little button on the cap and it vibrates. I don't quite get it, I mean, it's not even water-resistant. Such is electroschlock, I suppose.
I got a teeny tiny MP3 player from boyfriend of tuxette, one that is especially made for training/gym use. His motives are, of course, ulterior. He loves my muscles, and anything to get me to enjoy my workouts more which lead to bigger badder muscles...;-)
All in all, cool gifts this year!
People say I'm crazy, I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes...
I got a Rolodex from my grandma. Anyone still use these things? I mean I have a palm and a cell phone for phone numbers why would I need a rolodex? I'd look like an old fart with that on my desk.
Weirdest gift? Keyboard vacuum.
Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Gates M'dna wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Toothpast, tic-tacs and deodorant? Perhaps they're trying to tell you to brush your teeth and wash. You probably smell bad.
n/t
I got "Pirates of the Caribbean" on DVD for Xmas...
Hmmm, sorry to depress everyone else...
Meanwhile, I'll be alone through New Year's as well. Last time that happened, I read the new Burpee seed catalog, ate the last of the 'shrooms from the summer's harvest, lay down and cowered in terror as a giant Purple Rain eggplant crashed through my bedroom door like the Kool-Aid man. I really need to do better this year. The new catalog just arrived and I almost keeled over in shame.
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
My brother-in-law-to-be and his fiancee gave me (and my other half) a 1.25l pepsi bottle filled with some kind of green liquid and a hand-written label stating "melon liqueur". They announced proudly it was from his fiancee's mother's "own still". Allegedly it is 40% "alcohol", although they weren't specific as to whether it was ethanol or methanol.
What's really funny is that just an hour before when we were speculating about what gift we would get from them, I said they would probably give us a jug of moonshine. I wasn't far off.
I'm marrying into a family that contains Cleetus the Slack-Jawed Yokel. Nooooooooooooo!!!!
my stipid brother bought me a DVD of "Last Action Hero" with Arnold Swartzenegger, that has got to be the lamest Arnold movie ever made, i seen it before on TV, it only cost him $9.50, i asked him where he got it, he would not say, probably a discount bargain bin somewhere...
an electricity meter? nicely wrapped up!
5 Contact Juggling spheres, a little plush Beaker Muppet (Meep meep meep!), 6 discs of 80s music, and Monty Python's Live at City Center album.
And since everyone got the early Christmas gift of The Common Cold, everyone's stockings came filled with cough drops. Riiiiiicolaaaa!
Happiness is relative, Based upon the way we live.
If you was a good boy, and behaved well the whole year Santa could give you something ... but being you a beard old geek you got nothing :-)
But seriously (hi honey, I know you're reading this!), it's actually good stuff :-)
People say I'm crazy, I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes...
Go a live in a wooded cabin..
Er, debt free means without a mortage..
I never bought socks in my life so far. I always get at least one pair for christmas or my birthday.
Something way better, my girlfriend gave me a Logitech MX500, yay!
Yea, i did say girlfriend.
"...a generation of kids has grown up thinking Trance is the shittiest music since country and western." - Paul van Dyk
I got my car broken into for the second time in as many days.
Merry Christmas
Great subject line set up with an infinite number of follow ups, none of which are as funny.
Or, rather they are, but I'm sure none would enhance my reputation.
Merry Christmas everybody!
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
I got sued by SCO for Christmas, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt!
"To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit." -Stephen Hawking
10oz bar of soap on a rope. It's a very short rope.
I used to believe that you dont need to reboot your computer every day and that PCs never crash till I got this present from a friend (whom I consider my worst enemy now) , guess what was inside ? WINDOWS Then I understodd the saying that computers are like Airconditioners, both work fine till you open windows
I also got tic-tacs(!?) Hmmmmm
You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
For the past oh 4-5 years I have recieved at least 2 cans of squirt cheese in my stocking.
Not that I'm ungrateful to the cheese-givers, cause it was five big hunks of assorted good cheeses, but everybody else sucks. Then again I didn't get anybody else anything; well, besides letting my mom off for $250 in debt she owes me and "loaning" my dad $200 for misc expenses (and modifying my taxes so that he gets more money back at my $350 expense, which he promises to pay me back out of his return... yeah right). Now watch, I get home from work and all my cheese is eaten...
-Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of all Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The best Christmas WISH I have ever received was this year when my friend E-mailed and wished our entire game group all Natural 20's all year.
I got a certificate for a 1 hour hot air balloon ride. Since I'm in Ottawa, I'm glad it is good till June 2004.
P.S. Thanks to my wife!!!
swiss army knife and cooling racks(the baking kind) together.
I was at a mens stag function and the Santa gave a bunch of the guys a box of 12 condoms. Pretty gay if you ask me. And the guy was a pedofile too.
- Kill Yourself, spare us all! -
Apple cuts corners with all their products, I believe the hard disks in their computers are also ussually several gigs shy of their stated size.
I bet the money saved goes to Steve Jobs' big fat Xmas bonus so he can buy more LSD and pie.
GoatPigSheep, the 3 most important food groups
My girlfriend got me a Slashdot T-shirt from ThinkGink.
:D
'Nuff said I reckon
... however my Mother-in-law gave us something weird when we first wed. My wife and I got married in early December, honeymooned later in the month and got a very unusual handmade pillow on Christmas day. During the honeymoon, this 'resourceful' woman, took my wife's $1,000 wedding dress, cut it and sewed it into a pillow for our Christmas present. My wife was *pissed*! She had planned to give the gown to future generations for their use, but no! We laugh about it, but the pillow stays at *their* house!
same procedure as every year.
The best presents are the ones that I buy for myself.
My wish for next year:
WMD, 14kg Plutonium, Telco with Saddam and GW Bush, Earthquake in California..... and a fair vote in the US.
Grundgesetz * 23. Mai 1949 - 30. November 2007 - http://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/
Yep. It's a real-life (fake I presume) dinosaur fossil encased in a block of soft plaster. It comes complete with excavation utensils and a brush for the delicate parts. Archeology for the masses -- and I'm sure I can use it as an excuse for drinking beer..
I made fun of thost commercials I saw on TV advertising lottery tickets. If you don't win, the gift says you're a loser. If you do win, you feel bad for the person who gave them to you who got nothing out of it.
Then I got some for Christmas. Hah.
--------
It's OK to be social, just don't tell anyone about it.
Interesting subject. Some people get really excited about the holidays, looking at it as a materialistic boon. Others loathe the idea that a social mandate dictates that they are to give items to everyone they know, and then have to make stressful decisions as to which of their friends fall into that "gift recipient" category and which don't. And then there's always the situation where someone who isn't on your list, gives you something and you feel weird about it.
i t's-something-you-like category. I used to think that I was one of those people who is very hard to buy gifts for, because I tend to get what I want, when I want and don't mull around much advertising things I'd like but don't have. But lately, I've had a few friends completely blow me away with things that I didn't even consider, but turned out to be great gifts. Anything that reflects some time, personal effort or thought is always rewarding. So I no longer buy into the idea that some people are hard to buy gifts for... it's not about money; it's about taking some time to pay attention to what they like.
I don't know what's worse. Running around trying to find something meaningful for someone as a gift, or opening presents from people you care about and wondering if you ended up with some impulse item that's devoid of any insight into who you are.
I've always tried to give things to my friends that didn't fall into that impulse or heres-the-latest-gadget-even-though-i'm-not-sure-
This year I found a number of otherwise mundane items that I could make special. For friends that are into cooking, I picked up some cookbooks by a famous chef in the area, and then tracked him down and got him to sign the books to my friends. Making things for people is also a good idea. One year I made up batches of herbed olive oil. Another year I smoked a bunch of hams and turkeys myself and gave them out. For friends that are into history or science, I'd keep my eyes open for interesting, very old artifacts on ebay. Wine also makes a good gift if you know what's good. A little research can yield some inexpensive, yet exceptional wines that are otherwise hard to find.
One of the weirdest gifts I ever got was from an ex-girlfriend (who at the time wasn't an ex). A gardenia bush. That in itself might not seem that weird, except I found a book she accidently left at my place on Voodoo spells, with a "love spell" page dog-eared that required placing Gardenia bushes around the target's house as a component!
This isn't strange for someone in Texas, but I got a 12-gauge shotgun(waterfowl hunting) and an ak-47(swine extermination) from my Dad. Also got a case of shells for each gun. I got a Penn reel for catching sharks from my mom. Good thing I bought myself a good knife.
and yes, I'm very grateful. A good education these days seems priceless.
I got some books, the boardgames Risk and (oh boy) Scrabble. I also got some money and giftcards to Borders and Barnes and Noble (Everybody thinks I read all the time. I do, when I'm not on the computer) I also got the 1st season of [i]Futurama[/i] The books I got were: [i]Just For Fun[/i] by Linus Torvalds and David Diamond [i]All The President's Men[/i] by Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward [i]Quicksilver[/i] by Neal Stephenson.
I have gas, but my car uses petrol.
my girlfriend is rad and hooked me up with a 800 lumen lcd projector!!!!
A music loving relative one year got me a gift card to a music shop. A pop-only music shop. Oops.
I ended up getting some britney spears cds to give on to others.
This year my brother managed to find me a working color NeXT slab, monitor, cdrom, printer, and all the other accessories.
Another friend gave me 3 Ultra 5s, 2 Ultra 2s, and a SS10.
This is one happy geek!
umm.. yea
stay away from those..
and yellow snow..
and...
anime+manga together at last.. in real time.
A relative gave $ in my name to a charity that buys computers for rural Indian villages. As I was reading the card, I had visions of creating the out-sourcing company that eventually chowns my job.
I got my car broken into for the second time in as many days.
So leave an empty wallet on the dash, hide hearby, and pummel the bastard when he shows up to go for the hat trick. You'll feel better.
I wrote about this in my journal this morning; my most interesting (not necessarily weird) gift was a $1000 iTunes Music Store gift certificate. Read my journal for the coolest gift I gave:
http://slashdot.org/~adzoox/journal/56263
Merry Christmas everybody!
Yell & scream & rant & rave... it's no use... you need a shaaaave ~ Bugs Bunny
Did any one get an Air Bazooka? Anyone?
From excellent karma to terible karma with a single +5 funny post...
What a weird coincidence to read this... especially since I just got off the phone with my wife's sister and her common-law husband bought her a kitchen trash can for Christmas.
I would've shove it up his chimney!
Never try to beat a professional at his own game!
Oh the joy about getting a CD from a local band I've been watching closely for a decade and a half! Their sixth album in 15 years. And they are turning slowly to be recognized more widely (here in Finland).
Insert it into the computer to create a legal copy for car-use. Who would store the original in the car, anyway. But the machine says it is not audio CD!? Quickly, a better look at the CD covers and there is no "Compact Disc - digital audio" logo. Strange, because it looks like and has most probably been sold as an audio CD...
And there it is (loose translation): "This CD is copy protected and there might be some problems listening it in other players, except normal CD-players." So unless you have pre 2K CD-player available, you are screwed.
Never pirated any music in my life (really!), and I'm forced to educate myself in these matters. (Isn't this the reason for EMI and others to use the Cactus copy protection..). So few google searchs and a cardware Exact Audio Copy is found, downloaded, installed and ripping the not-so-compact disc. There really should be a separate section in music stores for CD look-a-likes, preferably with a half cover warning about likely incompatibility in every jewel case!
If the music industry wants to bite the feeding hand, this is perfect example of it. And according to the band homepage, a pirate version was available from both Russia and Estonia about a month before the general lauch of the album earlier in the autumn. So they managed to irritate the most loyal fan and supporter of the band, while not being able to prevent the real piracy!
Oh, what a present (but I managed to write this rant without swearing.. or running fsck!).
Sami
Of all the things, I've actually been looking for a mousepad/calculator for quite a while - someone at work has one, but can't remember where she got it. I'd honestly use the hell out of such a thing - I frequently need to bang off a few calculations, and am annoyed by the added clickage of bringing up a calculator on the computer.
Call me a geek, you're probably not too far off the mark. Now where'd I leave my slide rule...
political_news.c: warning: comparison is always true due to limited range of data type
I got an treasurechest (Schatzkiste in german) with some New Years Rockets in it
I came down with that nasty new flu that came out this year, ya know, the one that supposedly kills people, and makes my mother sick with worry. For christmas, I was under orders from my doc to drink plenty of fluids, take tons of pills, this groovy cough syrup, and get plenty of rest. Oh, and above all else, avoid other people like the plague. So, I missed the christmas party at work.....
So, given that I fucking hate christmas, today has rocked! I got my laptop, I'm high as a kite, and I am watching buffy the vampire slayer!
--Nuintari
slashdot : where an opinion can be wrong.
haw haw haw...
well for a xmas present anyhow.
Yeah thats right, a bright yellow jumpsuit with black stripes on the sides! I also got a Oz Quick Trip thermos, a flash lite that has a screwdriver set inside, a very nicely made photo collage of my newborn daughter, 10 pack of Maxell CD-R's, Jing: King of Bandits manga, Elf quest graphic novel, and a Gameboy Advance SP.
The past is just the present only older -me-
My friends got me a hooker one year she also came with a case of the clap. They sprung fopr the doctor too.
Lotsa biiig firecrackers. Size of a good dynamite rod and give similar punch. I llllike my present!
45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
And the women that do drink it, tend to be the ones you didn't want to meet in the first place...
Your wife gave 'm to ya?
This space is intentionally staring blankly at you
.. in a slap-upside-the-head black-comedy satirical kind of way.
Someone gave me 2 cans of chicken stock... I think that counts as a weird gift.
.. a pez dispenser. Yup. That's it.
Oh yeah and refills too! THANKS MOM!
Then I thought about asking Santa for a new monitor to go with my home-made boxen with the 80 GB HDD, then it happened, the Maxtor started slowing down, really slowing down. No longer did it roar along, getting hot, etc. as before. Applications and OS's a-crashing all around. Finally removed it, and replaced it with a 2 GB HDD, to put a test installation of Mandrake on it to see if the rest of the box was alright. It was, so it's the Maxtor's fault. So, as it says in the Subject line...
Just saw that on a Family Guy episode (DVD)
...because i asked for it: a torque wrench.
I got custom made anti-porn step down kit. My friends though I needed it. This included 1 blow-up doll in human form.(they took away my blow-up sheep) 1 big jar of Vaseline ( they took away my Viks VapoRub) 1 year subscription to Victoria's Secret catalog.(they cancelled my subscriptions to "Farm Animals: The Erotic Stories and Using Items From The Hardware Store For Pleasure") 1 mail order bride ( they got me a divorce from my sister/aunt/mother) 1 new phone book (they removed Michael Jackson's, R.Kelly's, Mike Tyon's and Larry Flynt's numbers) 1 copy of "Downloading Copyrighted Music For Dummies" (they figured it would be easier to stop the music than the wanking) 1 box of toys from Playschool (they got rid of the toys from the Adam & Eve collection)
Was the McDonalds coupon book labeled as a weird gift before or after the reports of Mad Cow disease in the US?
Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war
Yes, but is it YOUR choice?
If I can't smoke and swear I'm fucked.
Johnny Lightening Simpsons Cars!
Homer (pink... complete with fender dent!)
Marge (Station Wagon... but no Canyonero;(
Otto (School Bus)
Chief Wiggums (Police Car... what no Snake 'Lil Bandit?)
This
I spent the day digging through boxes, closets, drawers -- trying to find my only TOSLink cable (optical digital audio thingy). I drove around for about 2 hours trying to find something that was open to buy a new one, to no avail.
;)
Then, looking in one of the places I'd already looked at least four times, there it was! It made my holiday.
Oh, presents... sweater, new underwear and white T-shirts, and a nice kitchen knife set (that I had asked for). And I bought myself a digital multi-track hard disk recorder yesterday (hence the need for the TOSLink cable), which was probably the best present. I always buy myself something nice, to avoid standard gift disappointment
Overall, it's been a good year.
NGWave - Fast Sound Editor for Windows
Would all of you that received shiny new cell phones for the holidays, please stop sending text messages for today? We've had to bounce the application a couple of times already....spare a thought for the NOC crew in the house today.
I got a children's cookery-set. I think somebody feels I can't cook very well ;)
The little daughter of a friend of mine (7 years old) gave me a peanut, a candle and a handful of pieces from her chocolate Father Christmas. That really was sweet. ^_^
quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
right here! :)
Although the end result seems ok
Veni, Vidi, Velcro!
My bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering, and a full ride starting next semester to graduate school. (It only took me 3 1/2 years.) :)
A little gift to myself.
Otherwise, I got socks for Christmas. lol.
-dexterpexter
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"We are Linux. Resistance is measured in Ohms."
.. and it was worth it.... seeing her opening the box (excellent design) was my best gift.
When I was 13, I might dream of a Vic 20. But no way would I get one for Christmas.
Anyway... she loved it, and I loved giving it away. 20gig..
A copy of 2 Fast 2 Furious (ugh, what the hell) ... ... on VHS.
Wait, it was weird gifts, not crappy gifts. D'oh.
When life gives you lemons, you CLONE those lemons, and make SUPER-LEMONS. -- Dr. Cinnamon Scudworth, Ph.D
Check out this angry letter.
But at least it wasn't a hot cocoa sampler.
OK, here goes:
Seriously, though, if you did become the recipient of enough 'flame' you (a) may need the bandages for the burns, and (b) they may actually match.
That's all I got.
Language students: Don't try to learn English here. This ain't it.
I did all of my christmas shopping in July at garage sales you insensitive clod!
One of my friends gave me Mandrake Linux for Christmas. Cheap bastard.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
I got a nice lump of dirty coal!
How about ground beef, pantyhose, and a stapler. All in the same package.
As my old chemistry professor would say, "Nothing good can come of this".
I didn't really get that. But wouldn't be funny if someone did. An idea for next year's "secret santa" perhaps...
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
In return you should not be bitter, but give your mom a big hug, that's all she's really asking for...
Hey mr. Moron - It was a Microsoft game.
What I got for Christmas was a case of influenza. Which I caught at my college graduation. No kidding. I guess its not too bad, though... I'm alive. Sorta.
Trolls: The high-tech version of those morons that scrawl obscenities in public bathrooms.
I got two mini Spong Bob shot glasses from Santa.
This was about two years ago, I think. It happened near Christmas. We had just installed a new pretty lamp in the living room and were all looking at the pretty effect that light makes with the dust. Then suddenly we realized that it's not dust, it's smoke from the kitchen!
Turns out mom left a frying pan there, and the oil caught fire. Mom yells "Cover it with something!". I run and bring a big towel. Mom: "Not that one!". Anyway, we fixed that pretty quick, and other than a lot of smoke nothing happened.
A few days later a strange package for mom from dad appeared under the tree. We all wondered what was it (pretty big, very heavy...) and finally she opened it.
A fire extinguisher.
I got boxers from from my grandmother... not bad, until she admitted they were bought at a garage sale... that's right, used boxers!
-Ryan Daw
I got a puppy from my parents and a cat from my uncle... The description of any of my other gifts now includes the adjectives "urine-scented", "chewed", or "clawed to hell" ... primarily as a result of gift #1 trying to swallow gift #2.
I got this book. It sure is weird all right. Pretty hysterically funny, too. I think my favourite has to be the one where a woman who looks like she's just gone twelve rounds with a van der Graaf generator is sitting in an armchair whilst a little bunny loads a copy of Fatal Attraction into the VCR...
The Queen does not refer to herself as "one." She refers to herself as "we." As in "we are very pleased to visit Canada, which has always been dear to our hearts."
without the money. I mean I could understand if it was a regular card, but you buy those things purposely for putting money in.
-------
"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
I got a book called Strange Foods on how to prepare "bush meats", bats, rats, and butterflies; The Lorax by Dr. Seuss; New & Used Blab!, a very strange comic book; a book on medical illustrations; Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix Game and Controller, so I can be a complete geek at home, rather tahn in public; and a wind-up eyeball.
|>oug
HOly shit, how old is this guy's wife - like 15?!
The nice people who are suggesting that you build your own house are probably not considering life in a major urban area as desirable.
I would count it as extraordinarily difficult to save enough money for a downpayment for a house in, say, Southern California (where I live) and similar areas. For the entry level house I just bought in Woodland Hills, the price was $428,000. Woodland Hills is an upscale suburb but doesn't have the cachet of, say, Beverly Hills or Malibu, where entry-level homes start at around twice that. If you consider that typical entry-level homes in the downscale suburb of Canoga Park start at close to $350,000, I think I got a real deal.
I'm presently renting a house for $1,400 a month, which is way under market. My landlord sold it out from under me, and I checked rental options and found them all horribly expensive. So I talked to a very nice realtor, and he, together with a great mortgage broker, showed me that a good house wasn't beyond my means, despite my lack of savings other than company 401(k).
In the end, I had to withdraw money from the 401(k) just to rarise the 3% deposit needed to prove that you're serious about the house, and to pay closing costs. My lender gave me 100% financing in a first and second mortgage, with a total payment of around $2,750 a month. Property taxes add another $500-odd a month. However, virtually all of this is tax-deductible, on both federal and state returns. The bottom line is that I get about $1,000 of that from the taxman, so my net cost is $2,250 a month.
I used some extra money from the 401(k) withdrawl to pay back all my debt. With my debt paid down to zero thanks to the 401(k) withdrawl, my net cost of housing + debt - tax deductions is actually going to be a bit lower than were I was before.
A nice bit of fiscal alchemy.
If - and only if - you believe your real estate market will continue to do well, 100% financing may make sense, even though it doesn't sound like a good idea when you first look at it. The tax deductions really help hugely, taking really scary numbers and bringing them down to reality.
Here in Southern California, there are huge population pressures, and the economy is diversified enough to continue to do well. So on balance, I think home ownership here is a reasonable gamble. The fact that my home, being a tiny but beautifully made place on a hillside, is in a unique area with extremely low housing turnover also helps.
I have lots of plans for my new home, and I think it's going to be a great experience. And to be honest, I don't think I could have ever saved the amount of money needed without 100% financing.
If you want to own a home, I think it's well worth considering.
D
Maxtor does have a very nice RMA system online. Hop over there and see if your drive is still under warranty (100GB probably is).
I've returned a lot of Maxtor drives. They're fast and efficient.
Not quite sure about the McDonalds coupon book,
dude, but getting toothpaste, tic-tacs, and
deodorant is a CLEAR message. And now you
know why nobody wants to be around you. LOL!
Got one from bro. Great fun at Christmas dinner.
hand made (by my grandmother) coasters (6).
3 sweaters.
cell phone battery.
LOTR:FOTR and TTT extended DVD's. Indiana Jones DVD's.
decorative hand towel.
snowman knick-nack.
This is the best X-mas present from a company I don't work for. Considering how cheap my account is (2 dollars a month) I amazed by the good sevice. Truely a great web geek gift.
Open Source Sushi
Sorry, I don't believe you. I think you made up the entire anecdote.
You're a guy, a "computer guy", 34 and you "don't even play computer games"? Sure, pull the other one!
And nobody who's 34 has a mother that buys them software. Sorry, she's just too old! She's of a generation that just wouldn't know what to pick, which would be obvious to her as much as you.
My guess: you're 13 and got socks. And you're trolling because of the hatred those socks instilled in you.
He deserves it.
Live for the present, learn from the past, and dream of the future!
Along with a nice assortment of new shirts and an iTunes gift certificate (coming by snail mail because Dad couldn't remember my e-mail address), I got a nifty picnic backpack, with an insulated interior and sleeve for a bottle of wine, and two place settings complete with cloth napkins, cutlery, and non-breakable wine glasses and plates. Which would be a lot cooler if I still had someone to go on picnics with. {shrug}
My Christmas was pretty good. I got a new ATI Radeon 9600 SE (the budget 9600) from my cousin, and my parents got me Prince of Persia for the PS2. I like the way the original Prince of Persia is included as a bonus.
This message is encrypted with Quad ROT-13 to protect the author's copyright under the DMCA.
One extremely cool wallet from jfold.com
And one very groovy 5 LED flashlight from thinkgeek.com
She claims she had no help. (Right).
Then again, she always told me to never let the truth get in the way of a good story...
------ The best brain training is now totally free : )
Nature hard-wires us, like it does every other animal, to know that "bigger is better". Bigger prey feeds more, bigger dwelling is safer, bigger predator is more dangerous.
Is the lesson not to trust your instincts? I'm not so sure that's such a great lesson.
...in a Fredrick's of Hollywood box, in front of her parents/grandparents/family.
Yeah, she was a little pissed off...
Even people that believe in pre-destiny look both ways before crossing the street.
Star Trek: First Contact DVD, a shirt, and money. Nothing special there and I didn't really need anything since I already bought myself cool stuff recently. :)
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Uh... it IS Christmas. If you aren't religious you can easily avoid proselytizing gifts by not celebrating it.
The Christians merely stole the holiday from the pagans. Does Yule ring a bell?
(BTW, Jesus's birthdate was most likely in August, not December.)
I'm not sure if it was just misintentioned
[I don't think I've ever seen the man on TV without yelling at the TV]
a joke, or someone misunderstanding "I like the books O'reilly puts out."
Oh, and the coupon book is for Big Macs. That one's easy.
Language students: Don't try to learn English here. This ain't it.
I got the ussual underwear - but this time it was not pink - it's green. Yay for the change :)
:: Andrea
Anime Wallpapers
it was alright with some extra cheese
I got pajama bottoms with sponge bob on them from my aunt that were 2 sizes to small (24 us) im 32 us besides the fact that i don't watch tv or cartoons by choice and I am a little old for such things I think someone at hot topic the local chain sold her on this one...
You have been sig'd
I just got news last week that I passed the Fundamentals of Enginering exam at University, so I'm on my way to being a licensed Professional Engineer. My sister's boyfriend found out, and spent from then to now trying to find something special for that occassion. Not only was he thoughful, but as the story goes... William had mentioned this to his grandmother trying to locate his dad's old slide rules in the attic. They weren't there, but she also happens to be a secretary at one of the engineering departments at University of Missouri at Rolla (very prestigious enginering school). She mentioned this for whatever reason to one of the professors. Half a second later he pulls out a pocket-sized slide rule that looks like it's been around longer than I have and says, "Well, then he'll need to have this." I can't think of a more symbolic gesture than one engineer giving a tool of the trade to another just developing engineer coming into the profession. Now I don't know whether to keep it and use it or have it put in a display case for the office.
I lost my job in June.
form a lynch-mob and give you a lesson in "what happens to pretentious pricks"
My wife did something she said she'd never do (again), shaved her snatch bald as anything. Just waiting for the kids to go to bed to enjoy that little piece of Christ-mas (Or Mithras-mas your choice) Cheer. :) :) :) :)
my dad gave me the exact digital camera i wanted. but the secret was i actually bought it because i found a nice price for it and gave it to him to give back. he made my promise not to open it :)
other than that i got..
- a couple of pairs of shorts and shirts
- bowling for columbine DVD (seen it before, but i might check out the bonus disc)
- a "rude bear" figurine of a teddy bear smoking a huge spliff (from my dad?!) - i'll post a photo of this later with my new digital camera :P
my little bro got a few PS2 games too, so i'm going to have to kick him off and get a few hours of True Crime: Streets of LA in on my few days off.
All three Lord of the Rings books, for some reason. These are obviously useless, since if we consider that a picture tells a thousand words, and a NTSC/PAL video / DVD is around 40 FPS, and that the movies are around three hours long apiece... That means that one film has ~ 432000 pictures in it; If each of those is worth a thousand words, that means each book is going to have to be at least 432000000 words long, simply to match the quality of story told by the films! Parents, heh. Who'd have em?
There was a pull-out panel with a circular cutout with a green ground glass in it with concentric circles and various tiny blobs painted on the back, and behind it, an revolving black plastic circle with a radial line cut-out. When the 60 watt bulb behind it was turned-on, it looked like a sweeping radar scope.
Some toggle switches allowed to control the light, the rotator and some other blinkenlights (which were blinking christmas lights in reality).
Altough made of plywood, the whole thing was finished in that wrinkling paint which was so popular for instruments 40 years ago and it looked awfully real.
Plus there was a crystal radio with headphones built into the thing...
My father had worked several weeks with a TV-repairman friend to make it. I suppose that this gift I got was the one that was the closest ever to the true Christmas spirit: my father made it himself - never mind it was a "radar scope" instead of a rocking horse, it rocked the same... I must have played with the thing until I was 10...
I got a set of craftman strap wrenches...guess i wont have any trouble opening jars..:)
I don't celebrate christmas, you insensitive clod.
...and a roll of antacids! Rolaids, I believe. Merry Christmas, Dad!
*All the DVDs of FLCL , both volumes of the FLCL manga and both sountracks
...all that and I pick up my iPod tomorrow...
*"Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance" for the PS2 (2-player so she can play with me!)
*A Bionicle robot
*Master Gundam Deluxe Action Figure...
best...christmas... evar...
Be careful! Bears shouldn't consume large furry dogs.
I got a hat in the shape of a giant frog. It has big eyes that stick out and legs that stick out like a foot from your head. It's nuts.
:-P
It was a Chanukah present, actually
My bicyles
Or that kind of money, even.
I once received a 5gal bucket of 15W-40 motor oil. Nothing says love like feeding a man's diesel pickup.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
I came down with the flu so I've stayed away from the family... But one of the most memorable was the year that I got socks for christmas. Not one pair, but *everyone* in my family got me socks! The truely funny thing was that it was not planned or intentional, but every one thought... what does he need.... SOCKS!
;-) Last year she gave me a card on "The Joy of Sox"
Many years later I am still going through the box of socks. So, now every year I get asked by my grandmother if I need any more socks
---
weirdest given: a pair of antique teeth pullers.
The family has an expression about ____ being like pulling teeth. So one year when mom went through a particularily difficult year I bought her a 150 year old set of teeth pullers! Oh, I should mention she collects antiques. My girlfriend at the time could NOT BELIEVE I would buy my mother something like THAT.
My folks decided not to give us presents this year, and give the money to charity instead. I think this is a good idea.
See, we're Hannukah people, not Christmas people. Most Christians think we celebrate Christmas with the serial numbers filed down, but it's really not like that. The presents we used to get were little things---some nifty pens, a t-shirt---certainly not the crap our fellow consumer-citizens are using to bury themselves in debt.
So, what am I missing? Twenty bucks---maximum---of various kitsch. What am I getting? A warm fuzzy. Not to mention that I already got one big-ticket item from my folks this year (a flat-panel monitor, at commencement) and getting stuff makes me feel obligated.
After all, isn't it really all about giving? Eh? Eh?
--grendel drago
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
rubber snatch from my FREAKING MOTHER!!!
Worse thing about it... I'm married and she said that I don't seem to be getting enough from my wife!!
Zero Gravity Double Bubble motorcycle windscreen. http://www.zerogravity-racing.com/sportbikes/yamah a_sptbks/images/577%20DB.jpg
Last Christmas, my girlfriend's cousins gave her a basket containg some of their leftover fireworks from the 4th of July, a few bottlerockets, jumping jacks, etc. They're the white trash cousins. Can I say that and not get modded into oblivion? It's true, they know it and they're proud...
Palaces, barricades, threats, meet promises
I got a 20 giger and only have 18 gigs! oh well... it's 18 gigs more than I had before!
Never say never. Ah!! I did it again!
... a male friend of mine, who has a rather elderly grandmother, received a dress.
The floggings will stop when morale improves.
Oddly enough, the two presents I opened first were a G scale railroad engine and an hat made out of ersatz raccoon fur, complete with ringed tail.
Hmmmm . . . a model train set and a Davy Crockett-style coonskin cap. I felt like it was 1955 again.
Merry Christmas.
Someone you trust is one of us.
Weirdest present I gave has to be the Xena refrigerator magnets I found for a buck at the drugstore (last sheet they had left, it appears). My wife was happily surprised.
Unless you are humping a hole in a fence, it's impossible to get cock burns.
My sister got a 8mm editor super-glued onto this box with a sewing kit and pencils inside. It was the strangest thing..
You know what I'd learn from that at that age? That bigger isn't always better. If that's the lesson you wanted to convey, congrats you probably did it.
Obviously your own selfish desire of some asinine lesson to be learned, probably didn't come through at all because I can't ascertain what it is besides what I stated above.
I give to make myself feel good - my own self worth is determined by me and make a friend or loved one happy is a truly selfish act in the emotional reward I recieve.
So, I'm glad maybe the selfish one will grow up to be a successful man and only give when he has the will and means to do so.
If it was me?
wait for it...
I believe I'd get a shot of pussy.
Someone posts, "who got a gun for Christmas?"
And there are usually a lot of replies.
Very cool...
My weirdest gift this year: an indoor mushroom growing kit. This from my twin sister, who is apparently willing to go to great lengths to get me a unique gift that she's sure I don't already have.
A big lovely chair that i got to assemble meself and its all cushy, now i can sit more comfy infront of the goggle box.
Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)
My sister got me a Barbie mousepad and a New Kids On The Block album. I told her that '1993 was a wonderful year, maybe 1994 will be good to us too'
The P.O.W.s... The best band to never hit the recording studio.
That makes it all the more cooler, but, wow, I can just about bench press this thing. I'm going to have to reinforce a shelf on one of my bookcases for this.
--- Ban humanity.
A co-worker of mine gave the best gift that I had heard of to date. His girlfriend is a Titanic buff and he found out that RMS Titanic, Inc., which holds the salvage rights funds some of its activities by selling the only item that they are authorized to...coal.
So guess what she got in her stocking.
2 believe || ! 2 believe
my family bought me a new computer after I just bought a new one last week.
well, I bought a desktop last week and they bought me a new laptop...but still...
other than that...nothing too out of the ordinary...
Nobody got me what I really wanted: An Airzooka. SHHUMP!
That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
I also got a dildo for Christmas, from one of my coworkers. (It's some sick sodomy kind of dildo, called "arse plug" or something.) As soon as I find out who bought it, he is going to get a big, nice, happy lawsuit from me for the Happy New Year. There is no place for perverts where I work.
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
Why would negroes need/use "black soap"? Or more specifically, why would negroes in the USA ("African Americans") need/use it
No, there's no punchline. It's an honest question from a baffled "North-European Swede", who usually happens to buy blue or green soap.
One hole is the mouth, one is the anus, and one is the vagina. Hence three holes, get it now?
I got Saddam's ass for Xmas! Praise the Lord! -W-
...oh wait, wrong holiday.
I got an odd assortment of largely prosaic items--vacuum cleaner, knife sharpener, "Gator" universal socket wrench, Cuisinart home ice cream freezer--and pretty much none of the "fun stuff" like DVDs and CDs I'd put on my Amazon wish list. I got one DVD of a movie I didn't even ask for, let alone really want, and one CD from my wish list.
So...it's not really a Christmas where I have any new toys to play with. I'm kind of sad about that.
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
I got a giant pewter @ symbol. It's meant, I think, to be a book end, but it doesn't have much of a flat base, so it falls over quite easily, which makes it kind of a bad book end.
I think I got it because the buyer knew I was into technology. And @ is where it's @.
Due to some family illness, my sister was in charge of the festivities. And so I awoke this morning to find Coal in my stocking. First time for everything? But she made up for it with a wireless keyboard and mouse combination as well as a switch and tv tuner card. Heck, with a haul like that for Christmas, I'll take coal any day...
The views expressed are mine own and do not express the views of my employer.
i got a digital signal processing enabled high-frequency transceiver optimized for carrier-wave communication! even more surprising, it was made in America by Americans (if you count people residing in Tennessee as Americans?) :-)
see http://www.tentec.com/tt516.htm
Wait 30 minutes to see what posts get moderated up and which post is first.
Look at the content of a highly moderated post farther down on the page and regurgitate it as a reply to a first post.
It looks like it's an original thought and it's at the top of the page!
If a post has nothing to do with the parent post, don't moderate it up. Chances are it's redundant from something posted earlier but farther down.
You should have posted to the real first post (and changed the title so it's not "re:") which is most likely moderated at a -1. Then it looks like you post is the parent post to those who don't browse at that level. Badabing! First Post. Without even trying.
Ben
Work Safe Porn
that i got two 120 gig serial ATA disks with a a new gigabyte motherboard with serial ata raid which im going to set to raid 0 so i will now have 240 gigs. isnt that cool everyone!?!
Recently I ordered 6 CDs from a CD club, completely unrelated to Christmas.
When they came in the mail, my wife intercepted them and wrapped them and put the box under the tree as a gift to me. She warned me it was a joke.
Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw what it was!
HCG 50a = 2MASX J11170638+5455016
11h17m06.4s +54d55m02s
And did he invite you down to his basement, where he had a freezer full of popsicles for you? Or ask you to reach in his pocket to collect your tip? I'm sorry, but that creepy old male neighbor (Family Guy, 'To Live and Die in Dixie") sp00ked me but good. His voice did it, I think...
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley
I got a new tire for my car, and bought a replacement pump housing so I could repair the dishwasher for my mom.
Kind of the adult equivilent of socks and underwear for Xmas.
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
How many holes did the sheep have?
At least it sounds like you got hot sauce that everyone will not make bad jokes about.
Yes, I received Hot sauce called Chit. Hot Chit, Dip Chit, Spicy Chit, Mild Chit- all in a box that looks like an Outhouse.
At least it tastes good.
Just a Tuna in the Sea of Life
My best friend gave me these two extremely odd presents. The wind up sushi is a set of little plastic pieces of sushi which wind up and zoom across the floor. The set includes shrimp, three pieces of tuna, and salmon eggs.
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is a DVD, the front of which has pictures of crucified naked women and says, "First he nails you... then he NAILS you!" The back summarizes the movie as, "A schizophrenic thinks he is Jesus, and he wants payback! He crucifies and rapes the wives of his enemies. He films his deeds because he wants to make a new gospel - the Gospel of Blood!!!"
Should be... interesting.
and a funny rash on my balls
photosMy Photostream
On my 18th B-day my girlfriend gave me her friend.
I am the unwilling control for my Origin.
I got a legolas door-poster from MY parents. im male as well, but i told my ex-girl what i got for xmas and she said shes comin over. never know when a life-size image of orlando bloom will come in handy ;)
eBayDig 1s a typo saerch engien
If I propose to anyone, she'll probably get her wedding ring like that.
God spoke to me
Ignore the .sig; in retrospect, I was addressing myself.
From my brother, his wife (who's a girl scout troup leader) and 4 girls. Geez, what a bunch of cheapskates!
Here's a first: I got a Christmas Bullfrog. Details? I live in Florida. This year, I got a genuine South American Bullfrog. He's about 1 foot long(!), freakin' *shellacked* into a cowboy "ready-set-draw" pose. Did I mention it was dead? Complete with a cowboy hat, gun, holster, and poncho! The hat is *stapled* to the poor bastard's head! Not a clue why I got it. It's from my Mom, of all people. WTF am I supposed to do with a HUGE frog? Any suggestions?
I received a card that said "A donation has been made in your name to the human fund." hehe
Actually, that tool set is nice and exactly what I needed.
For my Dad: pre-paid Cell Phone with an extra 120 minutes, Reinstalled Windows 98 after a melt down and set him up with Mozilla and OpenOffice.
He wanted a Cell phone to have since he's retired and travels a lot now, but doesn't need a monthly plan. So it will work out well for him.
"The problem with socialism is eventually you run out of other people's money" - Thatcher.
So as to prevent the very nasty "red crack" syndrom that happens when you do AV in a convention (AV techs will understand). You walk so much your butt cheeks gets on freakin fire! My sister thought it was a good idea to help me with that this christmas!
DAMN, girl, get me a freakin' videogame or some'!
... with a picture of Dr. Evil on it (i.e. Austin Powers). Must admit it did make it easier to pour a standard amount of whiskey into my egg-nog.
sig has been sent away for a few small repairs...
How about no present at all ? :P
Hehe, I don't mind at all, though
How do people have this much free time? Not only the effort into the site but the fact that other people have actually found it !!!
Stay tuned for new sig...
I don't celebrate Christmas, you insensitive git! Ever hear of Ramadan? ;-)
Every year my mom buys me the ugliest shoes she can find. This year, no shoes (I got silly socks, and I don't wear socks). I was disappointed. We no longer remember why this tradition started, but it lasted about 12 years, during which I got pink glitter-covered platform sandals, checkered tennis shoes, 3 pairs of teal Keds, and a dizzying variety of other nasty footwear. Every once in a while I actually like the shoes, which I guess is why she kept doing it. My roommate once gave me erotic fortune cookies for Christmas. They weren't very good.
Gevalia is the gift that keeps on saying, "I know nothing about coffee but I bet you know even less!"
As long as you're tootin' your own horn there buddy, you might want to think about what kind of peasant brew you're giving out.
At least the people who gave you the Krispy Kreme knew you cared about donuts...
My wife and I got some dried seaweed. Ten bags full actually.
Oh, and a can of spam.
Life in Korea is sometimes much different then Canada.
I knew I was getting old when I appreciated the four tires I got and wanted *more* socks and underwear. I actually need them and don't want to buy $10 pairs of boxer shorts for myself.
Although, they could have told me before I got an oil change and tire rotation last week.
iGot: Adobe Creative Suite Premium (Education Discount, stop eying my parents' wallets...) Beyond Good & Evil (LOVE it!) Two books from The Onion [theonion.com] Finding Nemo Extended DVD Animal House DVD iGave: Mom: 'Flawed Dogs' by Berkeley Breathed [berkebreathed.com] Bushism-A-Day Desk Calendar Contributed to a lazy susan painted at Sticks [sticks.com] Dad: Bush Cards: A Carefully Stacked Deck 'Dude, Where's My Country?' by Michael Moore So yeah... nice 'n' liberal all around! ;)
I regularly report MSN spam to the Hotmail admins.
I gave my sister a $200 gift certificate to the Discovery Store (after her request for nature television shows).
She "gave" me a donation to some African AIDS and Tuberculosis Prevention Society fund.
Now, I am 100% against both AIDS and Tuberculosis, especially in Africa. But is it really appropriate to make a donation in someone else's name and then offer it up to them as a gift?
Stay tuned. Next year, she will also be donating. I am thinking MBLA or one of those Nazi groups who deny that the Holocaust ever occurred. I am sure she would love to be on their mailing lists.
My coolest (also weirdest?) Xmas present was a binary clock. My brother built it for me based on his own design. Quality construction - the hour, minutes, and seconds light up with different color LEDs, and it also has a sweeping-hand clock for noobs that can't read binary. :-) Mounted on a nice wooden back.
I'm going to bring it to work, and let people ogle it.
I got something which looks quite phallic but is actually a hood (yes, just the hood, the manufacturer thought it would be a good idea to NOT make the rest of the fleece).
I made it very simple for my family. My list had one thing on it, ThinkGeek.com. Favorite gift = hooded 'got root?' sweatshirt. This method is great for both parties. I get what I want and they needn't worry about what to get and still have the element of suprise. Does anyone else know of good methods for allowing gift exchange with low effort, low return rate and still surprising?
-Tim Louden
I'm not too thrilled with the reliability of their drives, but they do make replacing the defective ones very easy.
h tm
http://www.maxtor.com/en/support/service/index.
Then just start following the right links to see if you're still under warranty.
Lots of luck with the new drive.
I've got you all beat.
I got a receipt. Yup that's right, a receipt. Instead of the intended gift certificate, I was given the receipt. It was from my grandmother who
is quickly starting to lose it.
Many of my friends think its funny that every year my mother always gives me a case of motor oil, two oil filters, two air filters, and two sets of spark plugs.
I want a new quote. One that won't spill. One that don't cost too much. Or come in a pill.
I played around with my parents new e-mac. Not a bad machine for what it is, and OS X is really cool. I was even able to find the terminal and ssh into my linux box. There are even some old console games hidden in the depths of the OS. So I think this year I'm going to treat myself to a new 15" powerbook :)
"I bow to no man" - Riddick
Quite contrary to what you insinuate, I didn't "enjoy" it (sic), as I got it secured by our security team as as soon as I opened the package, to preserve the fingerprints for the investigation. As I've already said, I will not tolerate perverts working here. Over my dead body. This sick deviant will "probably enjoy anyway" being sodomized in the jail, where he will get for his act of sexual abuse in the place of work.
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
cancer.
Why would that be weird? Darwin was a professing Christian till the day he died. Shocked? Then you might be interested in reading his books, like "Origin of the Species".
If you research his life and theory you may discovers some interesting facts.
But don't let that stop you from poking fun at Christians. It helps keep us on our toes.
Well it's worth a try ^_^ thanks ^_^
My girlfriend gave me some homemade chocolates, a bottle of cologne and a Seamonkeys starter kit.
Wierd collection of gifts - but pretty much perfect for me.
I got a pair of transparent playing cards.
My wife got a toilet seat. No, I didn't buy it. Yes, I installed it and yes, she likes it.
sigh, it ain't the same when you're kids are f'n adults as well....
My 9 year old daugher bought me a hammer. I opened it, thanked her and she said "that's cause you broke mine you bastard, now I can borrow yours".
Need Mercedes parts ?
The swagload I walked out with this was so good, I'm considering going into business with my parents...
;)
I ended up with a Samsung 17" flat-panel monitor, black, to match my customized case, and a matching 2-port KVM switch to connect it to both of my machines, from my 'rents. My aunt knitted my a Slytherin Harry-Potter-style scarf, and my other aunt got me an accurate Doctor Who scarf.
As for the weird end of the presents, I ended up with a Bruce Springsteen "best of" album and a Linkin Park album from a distant relative; she would've been hard-put to find two bands I dislike more, but it does translate to store credit at the used CD-shop when i get back to Boston. The Victoria's Secret gift certificate from my elderly, conservative aunt threw me off a bit, too.
You drink too much coffee, I drink too much stout.
A bible with the words inscriber "finals are coming, better get to study"
www.linux-skunkworks.com
Stove bolts.
8 boxes of them.
But, furthermore, these were not new, but obviously from some ancient person's estate sale.
And I got these from . . . my parents.
The gifts my mom and step-dad got me and my wife made me feel like they hadn't spent years of our lives together.
Dan
Amongst the usual gifts I got a few gag gifts that were wonderful in their tackiness. I got a gigantic coctail glass with a few bags of stuffed olive shaped candles to float in it. Also, I got a roll of toilet paper with Santas on it. Classy!
I looked at my recently received cash, and then to my course schedule for next semester. Thank you state and national debt, i will now be spending all of my Christmas money on college tuition.
Horray for me, and a broke new year.
My parents broke out in a fight over a game of chinese checkers and are now going to file for divorce. All today, wonderful christmas day. hahaha. They've been married over 21 years.
Brush-in beard dye -- nut brown, a color that does not match ANYBODY in the department who has a beard. In fact it doesn't match anyone's hair color at all. Rather comical, I find...
"My strength is as the strength of ten men, for I am wired to the eyeballs on espresso."
I imagine this to be on snopes by weeks end. An associate of mine liked to tell stories about his well meaning but not-so-bright grandmother. Particularly the time he was twelve and she bought him a puppy. She lives in New Hampshire - he in North Carolina, so she figures she'd ship it. And she did - in a sealed box. Well the puppy died, but that wasn't enough. It was loaded into the unpressurized cabin of a cargo plane and flown down by an unnamed three letter shipping company with brown trucks. Apparently the depressurization caused the necroticizing lung tissues to rupture, and the uncoagulated blood leaked out it's nose and got all over the stuffing. Luckily, the boys parents noticed a "smell" on receiving the package, and saved him from what would arguably be one of the most fucked up christmases ever. For the happy ending (for everyone but the puppy), the parents got him a puppy two days later, and neither he nor the grandmother knew. He didn't find out until he was 17.
Pink slip.
Unfortunately I'm not making this up. Yesterday my boss called everyone at home to tell them that the company was no more. That's the shittiest Xmas wishes I ever got.
Your pizza just the way you ought to have it.
Someone I know got a package (in a white elephant gift exchange) which contained two candy canes and a phone book.
Twenties Retirement
i just got a mini powersupply for christmas because my old powersupply and fans were too noisy? Hmm, too many late night programming sessions i'm assuming?
However, imagine if you will the look on my face when my 12 year old brother, who had seen the woman in the passenger seat prior to their "activities" asked, "where did she go? there was a woman sitting right there! She just disappeared!"
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
I got a nice Beach Babes 2004 calendar from a friend out here in Cali (I'm visiting her for a week, I live in NY) Although it's late, I think I will get her some lingerie (I had decided not to, thinking that her boyfriend would kill me, but hey: I'm in NY, he's in California... :-D )
P.S.: She got me the Despair calendar last year from thinkgeek, along with some caffeine :-)
I love this girl!
SIG 666 - Signature stolen by the devil
only one.
It's a useful item for camping: it makes a decent chair (like those pillows with arm rests for watching TV - the legs act as arm rests)
and it has a place to keep the beer bottle opener.
It's bright red and has a silvery kind of screen. It has two knobs. It I turn one of them, a line moves up and down. If I turn the other, a line moves left and right. It also has a comletely variable refresh rate: any time I want to refresh it, I just turn it face down and shake it, and it's all blank again. Now I just need to get me a processor and some mass storage to round out my desktop system. I figure an abacus and a notebook & pencils will do nicely. Maybe some crayons for the graphics.
In the same package I got a remake of the old 1950's breakfast cereal surprise toy Rising And Diving Submarine, baking powder (NOT soda!) powered.
My 19 year old daughter understands me quite well.
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
Their skin dries out more easily than white folks does. Probably has extra moisturizer.
My fiance was nice enought to give me 11 cookies (apparently she ate one before she gave them to me) and let me know that she'll pay for dinner on one date. (I'm now thinking off all the times I paid for dinner which I didn't give her as a xmas present.)
A bunch of baby shit (2 on the way), a really cool sony alarm clock, Need for Speed Underground, pants, A bitchin wallet, a new leather jacket, and the Indiana Jones Trilogy pack.
I have to call Porsche tomorrow, I keep looking for the keys in the jacket and I can't find em. They probably just forgot, right?
I also got a Toothbrush, Breathmints and Toothpaste - but this I blame on Costo - when parents want to get a good deal on Toothpaste they have to buy the huge package at Costco that comes with 14 tubes - so what else can they do with it but give it in stockings. My Mom suprised me - normally I get random stuff she finds throughout the year (my mom loves to find deals) - usualy cool stuff, but not the most useful and it ends up usually just making my apartment more cluttered. This year things changed - I didn't ask for it - didn't expect it - but I got 1 present - the complete Monty Python's Flying Circus. I must have been very good this year. Mom is the best. Still waiting to hear from Dad - maybe a phone call this year, but I doubt it.
I got a throe pillow with the words "Id give up chocolate but im no quitter" stitched on it, while I am hardly a chocoholic, and a calender about painting cats
I got a 36" tall Skeleton. Serious. Like the ones you see in doctor's offices. (Hmm.. actually that person does work at a doctor's office..)
Well I don't care, this thing's going in my cube, and her name's Callista.
"Derp de derp."
My 7 y.o. daughter made a container for me. It is a small sample sized plastic coffee can with a, well my guitar pick taped to the top, and a swirly painted construction paper cicle glued to the bottom. She also gave me a digital watch with a bungee cord band.
EOM - for the lameness filter
Before:
You would have to say, "sorry, I have no picnic implements." whereupon she would say, "Oh well, I guess I and my hot twin sister will have to give up our virginity to someone else."
Now:
well, I have a picnic basket in my room.
HC: "That's great. Can I see your room? I'd like to go there because this new bra is really too tight on my breasts and they ache. Would you rub them for me?"
Which situation would you rather be in? Now you're prepared (well, add a 12 pack of condoms and a bottle of gatorade to replace lost fluids and you're set).
My dad got me a case of oil once. He didn't understand why his nickname was 'Hank' for the rest of the holiday.
"Derp de derp."
White lycra-nylon. That's what a friend of mine got from her aunt... Go figure!
My mom got me camoflage dress slacks.
I can never wear these to work, and who makes these things anyway?
My mom is now officially, stylisticlly senile.
If Mr. Edison had thought smarter he wouldn't sweat as much. --Nikola Tesla
Yay! I got three cool computer gadgets and one shirt:
Pretty good loot but NONE OF THE GADGETS ARE LINUX COMPATIBLE!
Parents are crazy aren't they? ;)
(ps. a quick format got the key drive working, but any tips on the others'd be nice ;) )
-Miles
Fuzzy
Somebody gave me a plastic reindeer that poops brown jelly beans. "The Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper".
Something is not right: I got a girlfriend for xmas.
Way to go and make me tear up and miss my mom.
I had the same problem.
Fuck Beta. Fuck Dice
Had a dream I walked into the living room. It had one huge wrapped box on a pedistal with a bunch of tiny xmas trees under it.
Table-ized A.I.
My 19 year old younger sister, in addition to a 20GB iPod (lucky devil) and music, was given a 1300 page hardback book on the one and only female former Prime Minister of the UK, by my loving Aunt. Even my dad (my Aunt's brother) was stunned and bemused. =)
I got an Aerolatte, the original steam-free milk frother! Not quite sure what to do with it, but it definitely counts as unusual.
I got This T-Shirt... note that i look way cooler in it :)
Berto
If someone is giving you deoderant for Christmas then maybe they are trying to tell you something?
I got nothing, but then I gave nothing either, so I'm not out of pocket! ;-) Haha, no, really, I don't celebrate Christmas, and the whole materialistic circle jerk. Give and receive things all AROUND the year, not just at one predefined time. That way your whole year will be better, instead of having to binge on getting crap in late December.
mogorific carpentry experiments
:-)
we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively - bill hicks
Top that!
I got Free Willy 2. The DVD.
That's fucked up.
--Stephen
Did you ever notice that *nix doesn't even cover Linux?
"Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant..."
That's not weird. That's someone's way of telling you that you have bad breath and have body odor. Trust me on this one, even if you don't think you stink and this just seems weird, you really do stink, you need to do something about it, and in civilized circles, this is considered a legitimate way to tell someon that he stinks and avoid confrontation.
A *pillow*
OK, a really nice fancy chiropractic pillow, but A Freakin' Pillow!
Partially redeemed by seasons two and three of Babylon 5 on DVD (that I'll never watch since I've seen each ep a zillion times).
In-laws from the UK got me a bottle of *awesome* Single-Malt (1993 Longrow, Springbank distillery bottling, Campbeltown) however, so I think I'll go sleep myself to drunk now...*HIC*...
Cheers, Peter, W2IRT
...was a pack of two-sizes-too-big underwear from my mom. When I asked her why she sent it, she told me that she wanted me to know what clean, white underwear should look like.
She so crazy!
I got a divorce from the only woman I have ever loved, my wife of 10 years, and found out that she was having an affair. Merry Christmas indeed.
I tore off the wrapping paper and looked for what could be in the center of the empty roll of bubble wrap. She says "I know how you like to pop them."
Am I the only one who got woken up by a BJ?
Dogbert t-shirt that said "You're next on my list of things to ignore." There was a 12-hour breakup a week later, but after that we lasted a while. It's a good shirt.
WARNING: there is a trojan on your
Today I recieved a test...
Not a fill-in-the-bubble kind of test but a "Are you going to charge down the hillside where that car just went off the road?" test. Yes. I charged down the hill. Yes I sank in the knee deep soaking wet snow. Yes I only had street shoes on. Yes, I was soaked. Yes it made me late for dinner.
Most importantly, the driver of the car which was upside down in the gully was OK. Perhapps in shock but OK. The EMT's came, lots of lights....
Helping a stranger is not something everyone gets to do. I did today. I got a great gift.
Windows 98
... not "brother-in-laws."
We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are.
-- Anais Nin
Nothing! :). I owe $15,000 in loans from college, on top of not having a decent job even when giving out resumes. Also none of the family visited or even sent a card and I don't even have a mom to see or hang out with. Christmas seems to get worse and worse for me. :-/
The one you fear is fear itself.
From my SO I got a dvd burner, now that's love :)
:)
not too wierd, but really nice
Cheers
Dude, giving crack to kids is not cool.
In a packed resteraunt, my father gave me three Cord Grip, 6 inch throwing knives and an 18 inch Jungle Survival Knife. Our waitress was not impressed.
This is probably being posted too late to get noticed, but I'm transgendered and planning to being transitioning sooner than later. My mom (who rules) is paying for some of my hair removal for Chanukah. Definatly my weirdest gift ever.
-Trillian
excuse my ignorance and thanks for responding...
I am unique, just like you, and you, and you...
I had my Christmas dinner with my Aunt,Uncle my Cousin and his children. My Aunt insists that Christmas dinner is served with all the imaginable trimmings and vegetables, all cooked to extinction so that you get a teaspoon of each item which in the end amounts to a mountain of mushy mesh.
This year, however, the mischevious activities of my Cousins two year old son came into play. He is very keen on switches at the moment and managed to turn off my Aunts vaunted hostess trolley an hour before dinner was due to be served meaning that all the delicacies therein were stone cold when dinner came to be served. So we ended up with a huge mountain of mushy cold mess.
For some of us, however, the hostess trolly incident was the highlight of the day!
Last year I got an electric VHS tape-rewinder. I do not own, nor have I ever owned, a VHS tape or VCR. My sister, who gave it to me, said she knew this.
Now socks are not really that weird, however the quantity was somewhat. I receieved a total of 17 pairs of socks from my parents.
A full case of ramen noodles. From my sister.
Funny thing is, *I* am the one in my family who can actually cook.
-- -- The Dragon De Monsyne
Your post made me get up from the computer and go talk to the TV with my mom, dad, and sister...
While this thread is oh so very +1 Insiteful it does raise the question, what did the TV say during the conversation?
Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.
What the hell does age have to do with recieving/playing computer games?
by KalvinB (205500) on 25/12/03 21:19 (#7810485)
(http://www.icarusindie.com/)
Wait 30 minutes to see what posts get moderated up and which post is first.
Look at the content of a highly moderated post farther down on the page and regurgitate it as a reply to a first post.
It looks like it's an original thought and it's at the top of the page!
If a post has nothing to do with the parent post, don't moderate it up. Chances are it's redundant from something posted earlier but farther down.
You should have posted to the real first post (and changed the title so it's not "re:") which is most likely moderated at a -1. Then it looks like you post is the parent post to those who don't browse at that level. Badabing! First Post. Without even trying.
This space is intentionally staring blankly at you
a package containing cleaning lotion, chocolate and condoms ???
What ? Me, worry ?
"Was a christian", is correct. Till the day he died? erm, not exactly. The atheists can't claim him, but neither can christians. He seemed to be agnostic, mostly because of the loss of his daughter.
I got a supscribtion to the ZDnet newsletter! Seriously!
I didn't expect it but my present was a Irish bible from 1852 and tickets to the Albany Symphony Orchestra.
Kind of nice actually, even though I am an athiest.
Really. My in-laws are disturbingly materialistic at Christmas. I made it clear there was nothing I really wanted, and with some appropriate hints via my wife, instead, they went through a charity organisation (possibly world vision, but don't have the details handy) and bought a goat for a poor family. The goat provides them with fresh milk, and can be bred with other goats to sell the kids (baby goats) for a profit. It helps break the poverty cycle.
My sister in laws were excitingly comparing their expensive new perfumes, and said "so what did you get?". The answer did put a slight damper on them.
I don't want to be mister "holier than thou". Sure, there's stuff I'd like. But that's all it is, stuff. It's nothing that's going to have any real impact on my life, not in the same way a goat will to the life of that family. And I don't want to be scrooge either. There's nothing wrong with presents. But let's keep things in perspective here.
Read reviews of shopping cart software
I got one of those flashlights that strap to your head. From my mom. She said I could use it camping, fishing, or working on my car. I do none of those things, ever.
I think my mom's getting a bit old.
...all in widescreen. Please God, tell me why such a thing exists....
Wise men say, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
Most motorcycles need a louder horn... but you'd need a 2nd engine to drive it! Maybe use one cylinder as a compressor?
1 months bill for 1674.94
sure i know it takes the surprise out of it, but i think you will be much happier in the long run. my dad asked me point blank what i wanted for christmas. i thought about it for a couple days and i told him that i wanted a neuros. he was actually happy to get me something that i wanted, and i'm pleased with what he got me. sure there was little surprise in this present, but i dont really mind.
-- john
I got the Nemi Christmas special!!!!! JA!!! Hmmm, guess you need to be Norwegian.
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
A few days ago, slashdot had a discussion about people's first computers. My first computer was mentioned and there was even a link to see it. Somehow seeing the picture made me miss the little fella, so I called my parents up and asked them if they might still have it in a box or drawer somewhere. My father said "No, sorry, I haven't seen that thing for years". I wasn't surprised... until on x-mas day when I went to my parents' house for dinner and found that my dad went up in his attic and found that old thing. I couldn't wait to plug it in and hook it up to an old TV to see if it still worked, and it did! The nostalgia almost brought a tear to my eye. This was the machine that I wrote my very first program on. I was 9 years old and am now 30. The only sad part of the story is that the first thing it displays when turned on is "Microsoft Corporation Copyright 1982". I didn't remember that... I must have subconsciously blocked it out of my memories. I wish I could find the book and/or other documents that came with it though. Anyway, my father also found an old TI99/4a with 2 games: football and some math learning 'game' or is it spelling, I dunno. The TI99/4a isn't that significant to me, but I'm sure it would be to someone who had one as their first computer and can no longer find it (one). So in the spirit of the holidays, I'm willing to send it to the first slashdoter that would get a kick out of seeing / using a TI99/4a again and emails me with a request for it. You'll have to pay for the shipping though. Cheers and Happy Holidays!
If you can't just be yourself, then be more like me, ok?
My wife gave me 3 sets of Senior Citizen Skivvies. Yellow in the fly area, Brown streaks in the seat. Handy.
My friend who works in Japan got me a genuine Hot Cubby (tm) Coffee Cup Warmer, which is powered through a USB connector. No drivers required!
Only problem, since all the instructions are in Japanese, I'm afraid to plug it in anywhere...
(Also included were some weird japanese foods, no idea what their labels say either. I hope it's not sushi.)
Those are some classy gifts you gave your relatives. Can I be in your family? I'll even get you something lame like your relatives got you.
a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of
RUNAWAY Very fast!!!!!!!!!!!
Kosh: "Understanding is a 3 edged sword, your side, their side, the Truth."
My aunt this year gave my father the gift of a magnetic, felt dartboard that rolls up. Ive known my father my entire life and I hvae never heard him mention even the slightest interest in darts. I kept thinking back to that Wayne's world scene: "Honestly, what am I going to do with a gun rack?"
I ask for a car and I get a computer. How's about that for being born under a bad
When my daughter was 3 3/4 my mum gave her the usual scary bag of xmas goodies. Contents included 4 tubes of superglue this time around..
Congratulations to you and your wife.
Debt free borders on the stress free. While others fret about making their payments each month, you two can sit and enjoy each other.
Merry Christmas.
----- LoboSoft specializes in Digital Language Lab
The Economist had a nice article, a few weeks ago, concerning the issues with house prices that are unjustifiably rising, and what may very well be an unobservable frenzy of house buying, that could lead to a real estate bubble popping (which they believe is very likely.)
There is therefore some justification to say that buying a house may not be so "smart" after all.
Frankly, the house pricing bubble scares the shit out of me.
But kinda cool in a really bizarre sorta way...
And it tastes good...
I wonder if it's possible to get high on lip balm...
My sister got a pair of seals (first and last initial), sealing wax and an envelope with a ring inside sealed with her first initial.
Is it safe?
-- IANAEG - I am not an elder god.
My neighbor / frind gave me four 6-inch square pieces of drywall in a festive grocery store bag. Now I'll have to patch holes in the downstairs bedroom that came from a busted water faucet search episode!
My weird gift this Christmas was an ice scrapper.
I like in Florida.
But I love my parents, all the same.
-no broken link
Toothpaste, tic-tacs, and deodorant? Someone is trying to send you a message pal. Do people often ask you to stand down-wind of them?
Proverbs 21:19
Does Herpies count? J/K ;-)
Okay, I've gotten a lot of strange gifts in my
time but this year had a few that were strange:
A friend gave me a brick of 30 cdr discs with mini
jewel cases (despite the fact that he already knew
I had at least 250 on hand at any given time).
Another friend gave me a Brak t-shirt from the
Adult Swim block on cartoon network. But the
weird thing about it is a t-shirt promoting the
"Learnmore High School Lowly Worms". I'm dating
myself but haven't gone to high school since 1981
so it's sort of odd.
My bro-in-law gave me garbage pail kids candy. I
didn't know they still made it - last time I saw
that was back in the 80s sometime.
He also gave me a CD, a DVD of a band I like, the
latest Onion book and a big gift certificate for a
cycling catalog I peruse so that was cool.
This year my wife and I got in a car accident
about ten days before christmas so we did not
really get gifts for each other - we're hoping
to do that the first week of January. That's weird.
are what my spousal unit and i got each other. if you use some of those personal hygiene products, you might get laid, too!
maybe one day i'll be smart enough to come up with a cool sig, too.
I got a red swingline stapler like the kind Milton has in Office Space, but not the "replica" model (747) being sold on thinkgeek which is not actually the corect model, except that it is red. The real model is a 646 or something and unfortunately its not red red, but more of a wine red.
Speaking of weird gifts, a kid I know bought this other indian (hindu, vegetarian) kid a cube of raw red meat. Upon recieving that package, the indian kid uttered a gasp and dropped it to the floor. Talk about offensive!
Although I wouldn't call it "mayhem", it was quite a surprise when our dog started giving birth to her puppies on Christmas night! We did expect those till today, actually. It made Christmas even more magical, for me.
:)
Wanna take a look? Go see my dad's homepage. Don't mind the Dutch, just click the links
"Want some rye? 'Course you do!" - Return to Zork
...with helium, not blow-up dolls mind you...There is no way that it would float. I work in a grocery store and spend a great deal of time blowing up balloons making sure each register has three balloons at all times to give out to kids. I have tried making all sorts of things float with helium and the only thing I was able to get to float that wasn't a balloon was a small thin plastic bag (our normal size ones didn't work). Also I once blew up a bunch of inflatable decorations like snow men and such for the hollidays. I didn't feel like putting my mouth on something that a customer might buy, so I used the helium tank. Did not float. Didn't even feel any lighter than normal.
it was a lump of coal?
I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
If you are a non-Christian who wishes that Christians would keep their beliefs and practices to themselves (or may go a step further and may wish that Christians abandon their beliefs), then I beg of you to not make fun of Christians.
Christians, like all religious people, thrive on persecution. If someone is attacking them, then they feel that they are being "persecuted because they are right". Mocking them puts them on the defensive and makes them resistant to your message no matter what your message may be.
Instead of making fun of Christians, I implore you to, instead, attack their stupid, superstitious beliefs. Sympathize with them and appeal to their sense of reason. Ask difficult and probing questions. Build bridges, not walls.
I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
I remember once she bought us a badminton set for the family to play together. I thought it was gay.
I guess you could have written, "I thought it was lame", or, "I thought it was stupid". I guess you didn't have to because the word "gay", to you, embodies everything in the world that is lame, stupid, pathetic, boring, shitty, and bad.
My son has two dads. He has a gay family. Is his family lame, stupid, pathetic, boring, shitty, and bad which is what you imply every time you toss out the word "gay" like it's some repulsive chunk of garbage?
It's nigh time for you to find a different god damned adjective. Your childish and rude behavior is not excusable.
I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
Gotta love all the gamers who feel slighted by the age reference. Geeks.
150 sheet spiral notebook... Need I say more?
A couple years ago my mother gave me a poured acrylic faux-ceramic desk lamp with a couch base covered in kittens with a kitten pattern lamp shade and three faux ceramic kittens to hang from the top of the shade.
This year we got two sets of three hanging kittens to accessorize the theme among our other lamp shades.
Does that count?
Even if they figured HD size on 1024kbits, which i believe most still do, The usable "formated capacity" will be alot less then the advertised space.
If that's true, it seems like an evolutionary mistake.
In every other aspect, the negro's skin is adapted to a sunny, hot and dry environment.
...with a marvelously crafted lucite Union Jack for a lid. From my mom. I'll feel like Austin Powers every time nature calls.
This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
Go to open houses and talk to realtors.
:-( ).
Find the MLS web site in your area, or realtor.com if there isn't one, and study it religiously. (The only thing worse than realtor.com is no site at all, but often that's what you have to deal with
Visit the homes that look interesting on the MLS. See what they look like. Get an idea of where you'd like to live.
That's what I did, for a long time, and that's why I'm confident now that I'm making a good decision in buying the house.
D
A golf putting game to play while sitting on the throne. Beats reading!
My Dell Precision M60 came to me at work on Christmas Eve. I didn't expect it to arrive until Jan. 5th. Since I had to work yesterday and today, I've gotten a chance to play around with this seriously kick-ass laptop. Thank you, [Santa, Boss, Dell, and UPS]!
"Never pet a burning dog."
Which looks like an Easter Island statue, you pull the tissues out the nose.
...
Weird part. My wife bought it for me!
Man, I married a good woman!
I wonder what kinds of gifts they give/get in Russia?
I got some Liz Claiborne body lotion for men. Me!? I don't wear any kind of cologne or aftershave, so WHY would I want body lotion? Oh well... I didn't say anything other than thank you since it came from my mom. But that HAS to be THE weirdest gift I've ever gotten. If I WAS going to wear any kind of cologne it would be something much more fashionable anyway... like Calvin Klein's Eternity for men. That, has a more pleasing, less "manly" fragrance. (I ain't gay, but Brut would be totally out of place on me)
Un-news
... that perhaps you just discovered the origins of your conversational frustration, and that the only thing to do dedicate yourself to improving it so that your (future) kids never feel the same way.
(from one who is still working on it and who has friends who succeeded)
Good Luck
LOL at Farkism used on Slashdot. LOL at only one person getting it.
Hey, I have an excuse for all of my websurfing, I'm currently unemployed...
My Mom fully knew she wouldn't be up to the task of buying me geek gifts...so she gave me a check for $100 instead...with which I quickly made the 120GB hdd purchase myself!
A nice touch is the Notable Events in Library History timeline on the back of the package. 1989: The film "UHF" featured a scene where Conan the Librarian slices a borrower in half because he returned a book late.
you heard the lady
And I was more than surprised to get *anything*...:d ll?ViewItem&item =2368214905&category=45509 lamp and a can of http://www.pam4you.com/pages/products/baking/index .jsp Pam
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.
Mix the failings of Usenet with the shortcomings of the World Wide Web and the result is slashdot.
Pez.
I have about 30 relatives on my wife's side of the family. apparently they all swear that they didn't talk to each other about what they were getting me, but each one bought me a different Pez Dispenser.
I'm now the owner of a small Pez collection.
I scored a weird looking bottle from my sister, who still has no concept that the wishlist I keep sending might be of stuff I actually want.
It's shaped like a Ken doll torso, complete with little glass mound and filled with blue vodka. While I'm all for dismembered glassware, the contents look way too much like shampoo. So instead of the amusing gift she was aiming for, she hit cheap and tacky looking instead.
and the werewolves came...
and they ate him...
and they drank his beer...
They went well with the 1000 watt grow light. I don't even know why the hell my friends got me these. Just goes to show. Never joke about how you could grow pot in your apartment and no one would ever know...
John Walsh once found me while looking for some other kid. He was not amused.
I took the step of summarizing your entire argument.
I believe in the scientific method. HIV/AIDS has much more to do with ego and money than it does with science. Did you know that AIDS funding has twice as much money per sufferer than does cancer, even though the number of cancer fatalities dwarfs the number of AIDS fatalities?
Basically, you're offended that all knowledgeable medical and research personnel know that engaging in stupid behavior can kill you
Ad verecundiam. Furthermore, it's not just "stupid behavior" but blood transfusions and in virto which can pass the alleged HIV. You need to get your dogma straight.
so you're looking for any way to dignify your choice of actions.
Ad hominem.
Guess what, murderer
Ad hominem.
that doesn't make HIV any less deadly. It only makes ignorant folk feel immortal.
You are assuming the point in dispute. I do not think that HIV exists.
I can believe that an overdose of drugs won't kill me, and I can make websites to convince other people, but blowing a gram of meth will still stop my heart whether I believe it or not.
Non sequitur.
I chose the word "murderer" deliberately. You and your neo-fascist PC ilk are foisting a death sentence on those gullible enough to buy into your non-scientific "feel good" crap.
Strangely enough, I hate political correctness. Why did you group me with them (and give me yet another ad hominem)?
Every kid who visits that site and walks away believing that it's OK to go back to retro-partying in bathhouses won't give him a deadly disease is a kid that you have killed.
I'm willing to take that chance, and I am certainly not alone. No one believes any more that AZT prolonged life, and its life-destroying properties were well-documented decades before AIDS hit the scene. I don't believe in many AIDS deaths, but I believe that many people were killed due to AZT poisoning.
Your efforts to intimidate me will fail.
Sleep well, asshole. I hope your kid is smart enough to listen to the scientific and medical community and reject your lies when he's old enough to escape your brainwashing.
There is definately brainwashing involved, and it's certainly not coming from me. My position is skepticism, and HIV/AIDS is a religion. You are treating me just like the Catholic church treated its heretics: with hatred.
I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
I agree with everything you have written, and it was well-put. Welcome to my friend list. :)
... in a probing and questioning way. Christianity, like all superstitions, will succumb under rational criticism. Whether or not the Christian in quesiton will also succumb ot reason is another matter altogheter.
I think I put poorly what I was trying to argue. I was arguing against mocking Christians for being Christians. I was arguing for attacking their beliefs
And they don't call 'em "personal beliefs" for nothing. People will get very combative when you start discussing their beliefs in a critical way. It's an indirect way of saying, "What does it make you if you choose to believe this stupid thing?"
Again, well put!
I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
hope you have a smooth transition to your next job.
For Christmas, this year, my cold went away; I could get back to work sooner than I expected, which was what I wanted anyway because I am working on a really cool project. It sucks to be sick so you can't concentrate even when there is something important, and not entirely uninteresting, to do to move yourself forward in the world.
This is a first time thing for me, as I was actually feeling pretty awful right around 1PM on the 24th, but by 8PM, I didn't need the cold medications anymore, and on the 25th I woke up feeling pretty good.
Problem is, I don't know who to thank, and even if I did, there would be a problem with the address.
But for posterity's sake, I have to sake the weirdest gift I received this year was the briefcase full of knives my parents gave me.
Not sure how to take that one.
The puppy was killed, not abused. Are you always an uncouth bastard, or do you have good days?
The weirdest gift I received this year was from my mother-in-law. She gave me two of my wife's baby teeth and said she was "passing them along". Creepy. I don't even want to touch them.
Why can't you also teach him that the right word to use is "impressionable"?
Oh, right, cause he might really have meant "influential"....
Hilariouos! I haven't laughed so hard in years.
First they will ask them to reason with them - because they are a religion of reasons.
Reason with them, and you will find that they are not willing to respond to your questions, or they will define things differently.
Attack their superstitious beliefs, and they kill you.
Make fun of their antics, and they will kill you, too.
Sympathize with them, and they will think you have finally seen the truth (Allah be praised).
A truly, truly remarkable people.
We need people like you to combat Islam, because frankly speaking, we secularists are sick and tired of "reason"ing with them.
Please frequent the forums discussing Islamic debates and engage in serious debate on our behalf. That will buy me some time to go to the loo.
Not exactly a jolly christmas, but I was happy to get a dentist appointment two days before christmas.
Q.
Insert Signature Here
Aside from hordes of babbages/best buy gift certificates (yay I'm a dork and nobody knows what to buy me), I got these two items from the same person: 16' bull whip Classy looking citizen watch (solar powered) I guess so I'll always know when it's ass whipping time???
meant for a 15 year old teenybopper. i'm 21 (and not a teenybopper but that goes without saying.) my family don't know me at all.
Why work at a job you hate, pay a bunch of taxes, then spend the rest on a 30 year mortgage so a for-profit bank can get rich off a house only designed to last 50 years? You can build your own cob cottage for cheap, and it's much more fire and earthquake resistant, and WAY more beautiful than these suburban clone-boxes.
O~ Him that studies revenge keeps his own wounds green. -- Francis Bacon
check here
the most mysterious thing you'll see today
Very nice.
But keeping in mind that a 10 out of 10 working girl charges you around 500 or 600 bucks an hour (nice girls that are not first class charge far less, some very nice ones charge that for one days company) I think I will stick to the natural models, thanks.
My dad used to play chess, he would challenge me frequently.
For several years he won hands down, then I began to win a few games, and afterwards I used to win all the games. In spite of that my dad kept issuing the challenges which I avoided like the pest because I found embarrasing to keep winning with little effort.
Once my dad was gone I realized how badly I missed those games and I learned a final lesson from the old man: the chess was not about the games, but about relaxing together enjoying something both of us liked.
To this day I play regularly and have become an avid collector of chess sets....
IANAL but write like a drunk one.
I like the sig. I LIKE the sig. Right up there w/ "RUPERT". =). Need one like that of my own.
md5sum
d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e
Sorry...
---- It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told.
Do what I do.
List what you want, including all necessary details, maybe a pic or two, and even places where it can be bought, for each item. Heck, you can even include little chatty articles about how to sound like a pro when buying one, and similar-sounding items that are or are not suitable.
Then put up a web page with all the items on, and give the URL out.
I started out just with a book list - title, author and ISBN. Books were a great starter idea, as they cover the whole price spectrum, and even if something's not in stock at the local megachain, with an ISBN they can order one in, so 99% of my want-list was accessible to anyone who can pick up a phone and call a bookstore.
For those family members who aren't web users but who have finally grasped email, a quick cut-n-paste from the current page works just as well.
This year, I got items from my list, and I loved 'em.
On an unrelated, if geeky, note, I generated my inital list of wanted books by indexing my current library, generating a list of authors, using that to create a combined bibliography for said authors, then subtracted any titles I either already owned or did not want.
Further extensions to the list could easily be done by running the pruned booklist through Amazon or some other site that generates "if you liked that, you might like this" lists, and harvesting the author names. Generate the new bibliographies. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Now, who's got a perl or shell script to do all this, as well as generating the web pages?
... in which case you get a stupid promo shirt from some lame festival that happened 5-7 months ago, in another state, which you didn't attend, and probably never will.
This year I got yet another "Poteet Strawberry Festival" shirt and a "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" shirt, and my brother got a "Texas Folklive Festival" shirt (which I already had -- birthday).
It's too bad he lost the official Fiesta deal, at least those shirts would sell on eBay.
-=[You cannot consistently judge this statement to be true.]=-
My sister got a SAM, a Synthetic Automated Moggy. It's a cat that looks pretty real and breathes and purrs, but runs on batteries. Pretty weird. . .
but mr inoshiro has a good point.*cringe*
:\
with rent, the amount you owe is dependant upon how long you live*, and is just as nasty if not worse than debt that has been acknowledged elsewhere.
except that in some cases it is much worse, because if you do not keep up in your payments you find yourself without shelter, and if you are lucky enough to live anywhere similar to here(saskatchewan), you freeze to death...
debt on the other hand, just grows more and more unmanigable.
take for example my old apartment. at 280$ per month, 12 months a year, for 100 years of renting would have meant roughly 336,000$ of debt, which must be paid off in the installments that the rentor wishes, or higher...
and by the way, it takes more than debt to enslave someone.
if you really wanted to do that, you would need to take a hold of something else that they need in their life, for example, the small 10X10 room that keeps them from freezing to death when they aren't allowed to be at work(see above),
OR alternatively to take hold of their wage or job security, so that they must do your bidding otherwise be eternally enslaved in another way.
if anything, however, rent is MORE debt than any other debt you may be able to imagine, because unlike other debt, that you can try to overlook, there is an automatic, expected result of not paying your rent. freezing to death or loss of livingspace.
on the other hand, all of this is really just different heads of the same beast---the stuff that people without mountains of cash can be persuaded to do horrible and terrifying things with. fuck capitalistic tyrrany!
*how long you live under rule of this rentor
and to keep from being moderated offtopic too many times,... i am visiting my parents in saskatoon [from regina, saskatchewan, canada]. i took a shower the day i got back, but when i got out i noticed my pants were all missing!!! it seems my parents dont appreciate the grunge-GNU/Hippie-not_quite_homeless look i have inherited lately...so they turned most of my clothes to rags.
so i got socks,pants,and underwear to replace my other clothes upon return. So as a christmas\birthday present, i got to have my parents dress me for two weeks
GENERATION 26: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation.
you are right, and costs do add up...but besides property taxes...how much of this simply has to be paid? i havn't paid a cent in insurance nor likely will i ever. no one NEEDS lots of electricity or telephone (although heat may be needed some places...mabye). hell i think it may even be possible to live without running water. mabye... and is property tax really equal to rent? wouldn't that mean rent would have to be raised to compensate?
GENERATION 26: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation.
Yes, an actual housebrick. A plain tan-coloured brick. Nicely wrapped up, though. I still have it, and it's one of the coolest and most memorable presents I ever got, because it came from someone who didn't have much money, but wanted to buy me a present anyway.
Sometimes, it really is the thought that counts.
Politas
I got pajamas and robe from mom and that big nice plastic and metal toolbox from walymart.
I also got the flu.
My cousin got a full-body suit of chainmail armor, I put it on and it's heavy as shit. Probably protect you from the neighbor's dildos though... :)
Look into the loan terms of your 401k .. usually you get to keep the interest you pay. It might be worth shifting more of your mortgage to your own 401k.
Not that this wasn't entirely predictable.
... your sister letting you off the hook? :-)
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
i wonder which hard drive company this moderator works for?
either that or maybe someone got a bit too much coke for christmas.
If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough.
3^2 * 67^1 * 977^1
Excuse me if I had taken offense, it was a terrible day. You know, the whole institute laughing and all of those people concluding that "such a gift is perfect for an arse-hole, Sir. Oh, I didn't mean you, Sir!" Right... Didn't mean my arse! As if it wasn't bad enough, in most of European languages there's a vulgar idiom to say something in the lines of "I don't give a damn about [something]" but literally means "I have [something] in my arse." So, I went to the caffee machine and other people there started to look at me with those stupid smiles and one of them said that they were just talking about "arse plugs" and they all think that there's nothing to be embarassed about and such a toy can be great for anal muscles especially for someone who spend most of the day sitting, to which I shouted this idiom "I have it in my arse!" with the obvious intetnion to finally end this whole farce, but instead of shutting up he instantly looked at my buttocks with straight face and said: "Really?! I would have never noticed, Sir!" resulting in one moron spitting coffee all over the place, other one choking with a donut, another idiot falling off the chair and all of them laughing like there were no tomorrow. I shouted something like "I am sick of that dildo, vulgar jokes, and your perverted sense of humour as a whole!" someone said "You didn't have to call him arse-hole, Sir!" and they all started laughing all over again, even harder this time. I was totally pissed off and I shouted "'As s whole', not 'arse-hole', you sick perverted deviant!" and now they all keep saying "as a whole" in such a fast way that it sounds more like "arse-hole" and in sentences where both phrases would fit perfectly well to strengthen this miserably foolish pun, and almost unnoticeably smile looking at me every time they do that. So you see what a stupid bunch of perverts with poor taste and equally childish and unintelligent sense of humour I have to work with. I really hate them all.
Please don't tell me to try to have fun because I am apparently the only one here who doesn't have fun at all. Instead, everyone has fun at my expense. I can only hope that I will get some respect back after they pay me some six digit value for moral damages plus cover my lawyer expenses and psychiatric treatment. Meanwhile please don't tell me about "being an ass" because now my coworkers add "no pun intended" even after pronouncing "S" in "IMS" for God's sake... I am really sick of it. By the way, Happy New Year.
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
I know what are you trying to achieve. You seem to imply that I am a pornography-addicted onanist because of supposed lack of proper education received from my parents. You are suggesting that I am a sick deviant today who tries to hide that shameful fact behind the facade of hypocrisy. I have to disappoint you, though. When my parents found pornographic materials in my room (when I was six years old I had yet no idea that pornography and masturbation is so wrong) I was punished appropriately and thanks to that very punishment which successfully persuaded me to never humiliate myself that way ever again, I am a perfectly normal person instead of a sick pervert today. What was your point again?
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
You are exactly the kind of person that I gave the CDs to.