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User: Last_Available_Usern

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  1. In other news... on Chess Ratings — Move Over Elo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Organized crime members linked to gambling rackets have been endicted for kidnapping a busload of nerds after they refused to program similar algorithms in exchange for Warcraft game time and photoshopped Natalie Portman porn.

    We all know that's not true though. They totally would have done it.

  2. Seriously, who cares? on Study Shows Monkeys Like Watching TV · · Score: -1, Troll

    What is the scientific impact of studyng whether or not an animal is distracted/amused by animated images? Seriously, give me one reason, that isn't a joke, why anyone would need to know this.

  3. Can I hunt deer with this? on Set Free Your Inner Jedi (Or Pyro) · · Score: 1

    Be on the lookout for new, highly reflective hunting outfits instead of the current standard of blaze orange.

  4. Awesome! on HP Gives Printers Email Addresses · · Score: 1

    This is great until someone registers your printer's email address with NAMBLA.

  5. More harm than good... on Genetic Testing Coming To a Drugstore Near You · · Score: 1

    So many things wrong with this, let's count...

    1) False positives causing worry and unnecessary preventive maintenance.

    2) False negatives causing folks to overlook healthy practices that they might have otherwise prescribed to.

    3) A combination of both. Cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria...

  6. Wrong title... on New Metamaterial Means More Efficient Solar Cells · · Score: 1

    Please explain to me why the title of this news post is "New Metamaterial Means More Efficient Solar Cells" instead of "New Metamaterial Means Kickass Invisibility Cloak"?

  7. Could antitrust play a role? on Apple To Buy ARM? · · Score: 1

    If Apple acquired ARM and effectively limited the acquisition of critical processors by competitors, would that constitute a breach of antitrust law? I won't pretend to know the law, but I know why it's there, and if competitors are forced to use inferior processing purely because Apple has the fiscal power to acquire the technology then that sounds like there could be an issue. Or, what if they just price everyone out by charging so much that non-Apple devices based on the chips are too cost-prohibitive? Anyone with insight into antitrust law want to weigh in on this?

  8. One has to wonder... on American Lung Association Pushes For Ban On Electronic Cigarettes · · Score: 2, Insightful

    One has to wonder why they would even do this. Why push for a ban on something that is so obviously better for you than actual cigarettes? You have to think Big Tobacco is stuffing money in their pocket to strengthen the legitmacy of this ban request, but why make such an obvious move? It only weakens what credibility they might have had before this.

  9. Today's weather forecast.... on Solar-Powered Plane Makes First Successful Flight · · Score: 4, Funny

    Partly cloudy with a 100% chance of crash.

  10. I can see the headlines... on Tsunami Warning From Space? · · Score: 1

    "Thousands killed from partly cloudy skies"

  11. Wait...what? on Dr. NakaMats Is the World's Most Prolific Inventor · · Score: 1

    ...he was awarded the Ig Nobel prize for Nutrition, for photographing and retrospectively analyzing every meal he has consumed during a period of 34 years

    Am I going to get a Nobel prize for all of my zany OCD's too? I'd like to open with my daily organization of my shoes based on the size of the animal their leather was crafted from. I also forbid myself to have a bowel movement during the 8th day of the lunar cycle (don't ask how I regulate this). There's two right there. Scanned PDF's of the awards will be just fine. I'll append this post with the rest later (after I'm done organizing my shoes).

  12. Just to deter newcomers... on Facebook Patents the News Feed · · Score: 1

    Facebook would lose a lot of face (pardon the pun) if they tried to act on this patent. I personally don't think they intend to. They just want to deter the "next big thing" from even seeing the light of day. Everyone who enters this aerna would be walking onto a trap door that Facebook controls the lever of.

  13. Please disconnect this sytem from the network. on Recommendation Algorithm Wants To Show You Something New · · Score: 1

    How long before it has enough data to recommend we should be destroyed and acts on it?

  14. Here it comes... on Hungarian Electric Car Splits Into Two Smaller Cars · · Score: 1

    Constructicons joke in 4...3...2..

  15. Re:So if I understand this... on Falcon 9 Prepares For High Stakes Launch · · Score: 1

    Losing funding for launches doesn't mean you lose funding for everything. Also, they have facilities and expertise that make them valuable to whoever may assume launch functions. If I own an arena, I might stand to make more money just leasing out the venue and providing concessions instead of trying to create the entertainment value as well

  16. Re:Value, Price, and Worth on 1938 Superman Comic Sells For $1M · · Score: 1

    Can't fuck it.

    Says you.

  17. Cmon people... on Anti-Piracy Windows 7 Update Phones Home Quarterly · · Score: 1

    What is so "major" and "disturbing" about this? If you own a legitimate copy of Windows than this isn't an issue for you. You can be sure if they crippled *anyones* PC for a reason other than piracy then they would be flogged to death in an instant. The results of this action will of course come as a big surprise to people who purchased systems from non-reputable dealers with preloaded pirated versions of Windows, however, saying that's not ok is like saying DMV shouldn't run your car's VIN after a sale to insure a clean title (please don't pick apart the analogy, you get the point). Once again, just more mongering and Microsoft hating.

  18. Treat the illness, not the symptoms... on Man Challenges 250,000 Strong Botnet and Succeeds · · Score: 1

    All of the effort associated with this, and other endeavors to thwart botnets, would really be better served isolating the primary reason why these botnets continue to be successful and create new ways to thwart them before they occur. The machines that are infected are still vulnerable. All the original botnet owner is going to do is modify a new botnet to use different domains or IP's and back to life it comes.

  19. Again? on The Best, Worst, and Ugliest OSes of the Decade · · Score: 2, Funny

    What is this, the third post today alone that primarily slams Microsoft? I was glad to hear today that MS at least wasn't threatening the wild species of coffee beans.

  20. Possible hoax,,, on The Voynich Manuscript May Have Been Decoded · · Score: 1

    I know it seems outlandish for something of that time period, but isn't it even remotely possible that someone could have created this document just for the purposes of confounding scholars? Perhaps it started as a joke for a collegue and got out of hand, or just happens to be the work of a mad man. Perhaps there is nothing to decode.

  21. Treatment, not vaccine... on Cancer Vaccine That Mimics Lymph Node · · Score: 1

    According to the article, it releases "antigens specific to the type of tumor being targeted". Sounds more like a treatment, unless you plan to implant antigens for every known tumor type.

  22. Re:Focus? on Where Are Your Contact Lens Displays? · · Score: 4, Funny

    Let me just make sure I read this right...you want to shoot lasers directly onto my retina?

  23. Hmmm... on Program To Detect Smuggled Nuclear Bombs Stalls · · Score: 1

    I typed two posts prior to this one, and backspaced over both of them. The first was the thought that the machines were already there and this publicity was a rouse to try to catch trafficers. Then I realized I was just feeding the conspiricy side of my brain. I then typed up a joke about how I wasn't going to fall for their ploy to seize my precious nuclear product. I then decided better of that given I didn't relish the thought of MiB showing up at my front door based on some lame FBI web crawler hit. So yea, here I am. How's it going guys?

  24. It depends on how you read the article... on In Test, Windows 7 Vulnerable To 8 Out of 10 Viruses · · Score: 2, Funny

    It could also just as easily read: "Two out of every ten virus writers deploy their work without testing it first."

  25. Too many cooks... on Ex-Astronaut Developing Plasma Rocket To Revitalize NASA · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Without oversight by NASA, components won't have the compatibility required to integrate within the launch vehicle. Essentially it means that all of these companies will just be contractors to NASA (Company X builds the fuel injection, Company Y builds the stage seperators, etc). Is that really cheaper than paying NASA employees to develop the same technology?