The young, socialy challenged lad seems to think in terms of function, not style (as do most socially challenged nerds). Point out the importance of confidence and social interaction. for instance, social interaction would help him in the following ways:
1. he can create a network of like-minded individuals, some of whome he can learn from (other nerds interested in the same stuff) others he can help out (using his vast knowledge to help the rest of the world).
2. later in life when he goes to get a job he will need those social skills to interact with co-workers, prospective clients, venders, etc.
3. social skills will expand his mind (wich he obviously charrishes alot). it will allow him to see what others think, and eventually give him a leg up on other socially challenged, yet smart individuals. for instance, he's competeing with another person for a freelance job writing code for a new POS system for a business. If he has been social, and can look at things from other people's points of views, he will most likely get the job because he is flexible, and understands the needs of his client, yet has the same technical skills as the other dude competing for the job.
4. socializing is just plain fun some times.
now that he understands why it is a good thing and why he should try to be social, it's time to help him get there. the best way i have found in doing this is to get him to test his own boundaries and do things he feels uncoumfurtable to do. i don't mean force him to curse out his parents, expose himself to a crowd of 100,000 people, but maybe act strange in public. or somehow draw attention to himself. Maybe a few of my owne experiences would help clearify my point.
I started wearing cloths out of charactor for myself. I would wear skirts in public, i have pants that have a bunch of drawings on them that look really cool, brightly colored shirts and I'd go skipping down the street with some friends, and just not care if people liked it or not. that riught there built my confidence alot. It felt wierd rockin' a long flowing skirt in public as a male, but after a while i started to like the attention. I never get mean comments, everyone seems to like it. my pants with the drawings are huge conversation starters. people come up and ask about my pants, we get into a conversation about my art, then about what they like to do, then it rolls from there. these things all prepare you for dealing with unexpected situations that may arise.
Make sure he knows though, that the goal of becoming social shouldn't be about changing yourself to make others like you. it's about improving yourself and gaining confidence. there's nothing better than knowing who you are and being able to share that with the world. not only will you expand your own horizons, but you might even expand someone else's without even trying.
at the very least, encourage him (and everyone youy meet for that matter) to try something new. Who knows, he may like it.
Slashdot Mirror
The young, socialy challenged lad seems to think in terms of function, not style (as do most socially challenged nerds). Point out the importance of confidence and social interaction. for instance, social interaction would help him in the following ways:
1. he can create a network of like-minded individuals, some of whome he can learn from (other nerds interested in the same stuff) others he can help out (using his vast knowledge to help the rest of the world).
2. later in life when he goes to get a job he will need those social skills to interact with co-workers, prospective clients, venders, etc.
3. social skills will expand his mind (wich he obviously charrishes alot). it will allow him to see what others think, and eventually give him a leg up on other socially challenged, yet smart individuals. for instance, he's competeing with another person for a freelance job writing code for a new POS system for a business. If he has been social, and can look at things from other people's points of views, he will most likely get the job because he is flexible, and understands the needs of his client, yet has the same technical skills as the other dude competing for the job.
4. socializing is just plain fun some times.
now that he understands why it is a good thing and why he should try to be social, it's time to help him get there. the best way i have found in doing this is to get him to test his own boundaries and do things he feels uncoumfurtable to do. i don't mean force him to curse out his parents, expose himself to a crowd of 100,000 people, but maybe act strange in public. or somehow draw attention to himself. Maybe a few of my owne experiences would help clearify my point.
I started wearing cloths out of charactor for myself. I would wear skirts in public, i have pants that have a bunch of drawings on them that look really cool, brightly colored shirts and I'd go skipping down the street with some friends, and just not care if people liked it or not. that riught there built my confidence alot. It felt wierd rockin' a long flowing skirt in public as a male, but after a while i started to like the attention. I never get mean comments, everyone seems to like it. my pants with the drawings are huge conversation starters. people come up and ask about my pants, we get into a conversation about my art, then about what they like to do, then it rolls from there. these things all prepare you for dealing with unexpected situations that may arise.
Make sure he knows though, that the goal of becoming social shouldn't be about changing yourself to make others like you. it's about improving yourself and gaining confidence. there's nothing better than knowing who you are and being able to share that with the world. not only will you expand your own horizons, but you might even expand someone else's without even trying.
at the very least, encourage him (and everyone youy meet for that matter) to try something new. Who knows, he may like it.
-Adam