sounds to me like you are already on the path that you want/need to be on. as cliche as it sounds, follow your heart and you'll be fine. i can relate very strongly to every single word you say... i've found myself to be a very intuitive thinker which does not make for easilly quantifiable (and hence, testable) skills but it does make for a feeling caring person who enjoys and is capable of doing a broad range of things. i've been frequently refered to as intense and i wear such comments as a badge of honour, since i have learned to use it while still keeping myself and those around me at ease. your intensity will give you a degree of rigor which, in combination with a strong and healthy intuition, makes for a great deal of potential... but potential that is difficult to harness in any one direction.
maybe you'll find that direction for yourself, maybe you won't. just don't hang your self esteme on living-up to others' expectations of you (or your perception of those expectations) and it won't matter. people will see your potential and it can make for unfair expectations and you will want to achieve them lest you feel like you are somehow falling short. don't buy into that crap.
odds are that you will learn truely fantastic things and become capable of wrapping your head around facts, phenomena and questions which few people will be able to comprehend. this drives a huge number of intellegent people into ridiculous egomaniacal head trips from which they never return. don't let it happen to you. it is a very real danger. it's a great security blanket for a lot of people but ultimately it makes you weaker and gross.
that said, this should not be confused with the cultivation of confidence, which is absolutely key. nobody listens to a word from a meek, hesitant and wavering person, no matter how good their ideas. find a way to speak with confidence witout being an egomaniacal asshole. when you don't know, don't try to bullshit your way to an answer. instead, say you don't know when you don't and people will be more likely to listen to you when when you do.
i'm finishing up a PhD right now in astronomy and i'm glad i did it but i'm glad i'm getting out of academia. there's a great many things in this world which are hard to learn any other way than through a strict program such as that, but the law of diminishing returns has kicked in for me and i've found myself seeing less-and-less in it for me as time moves on. i have a growing and unsatisfying sensation of knowing more and more about less and less. time to move on to something new. something that builds in some cool way on what i have learned and the skills i have cultivated.
i love the pursuit more than ever, but the academic framework, as valuable as it is, has lost it's shine to me. i intend to continue my work but i'm going to find a means of supporting it from outside of that system. like you, i've always loved learning but hated school. that dislike has ebbed and flowed but never gone away. now that i'm done with school, i feel an enormous feeling of liberation. again, i'm glad i did it but i'm glad i'm done with it.
i'll indulge myself just a bit farther and offer this one piece of advice that i wish had been laid on me a long while ago. maybe it will be of use to you or maybe not. it realy is quite true... one man in this world truely is nothing, in the sence of getting anything done and making anything interesting and rewarding happen, that is. there are exceptions of course, and maybe you are one of them, but most of us need communities of people to make anything happen *and to keep us happy*. find a community of people that support your diverse interests and keep you inspired. look for similarly diverse people and don't depend too much on people who are narrowly focused on just a couple of things.
that will be tough to do with such a broad interest base!
there is a fantasticly huge number of close minded, introverted, and miserable people with horrible social skills in
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sounds to me like you are already on the path that you want/need to be on. as cliche as it sounds, follow your heart and you'll be fine. i can relate very strongly to every single word you say ... i've found myself to be a very intuitive thinker which does not make for easilly quantifiable (and hence, testable) skills but it does make for a feeling caring person who enjoys and is capable of doing a broad range of things. i've been frequently refered to as intense and i wear such comments as a badge of honour, since i have learned to use it while still keeping myself and those around me at ease. your intensity will give you a degree of rigor which, in combination with a strong and healthy intuition, makes for a great deal of potential ... but potential that is difficult to harness in any one direction.
maybe you'll find that direction for yourself, maybe you won't. just don't hang your self esteme on living-up to others' expectations of you (or your perception of those expectations) and it won't matter. people will see your potential and it can make for unfair expectations and you will want to achieve them lest you feel like you are somehow falling short. don't buy into that crap.
odds are that you will learn truely fantastic things and become capable of wrapping your head around facts, phenomena and questions which few people will be able to comprehend. this drives a huge number of intellegent people into ridiculous egomaniacal head trips from which they never return. don't let it happen to you. it is a very real danger. it's a great security blanket for a lot of people but ultimately it makes you weaker and gross.
that said, this should not be confused with the cultivation of confidence, which is absolutely key. nobody listens to a word from a meek, hesitant and wavering person, no matter how good their ideas. find a way to speak with confidence witout being an egomaniacal asshole. when you don't know, don't try to bullshit your way to an answer. instead, say you don't know when you don't and people will be more likely to listen to you when when you do.
i'm finishing up a PhD right now in astronomy and i'm glad i did it but i'm glad i'm getting out of academia. there's a great many things in this world which are hard to learn any other way than through a strict program such as that, but the law of diminishing returns has kicked in for me and i've found myself seeing less-and-less in it for me as time moves on. i have a growing and unsatisfying sensation of knowing more and more about less and less. time to move on to something new. something that builds in some cool way on what i have learned and the skills i have cultivated.
i love the pursuit more than ever, but the academic framework, as valuable as it is, has lost it's shine to me. i intend to continue my work but i'm going to find a means of supporting it from outside of that system. like you, i've always loved learning but hated school. that dislike has ebbed and flowed but never gone away. now that i'm done with school, i feel an enormous feeling of liberation. again, i'm glad i did it but i'm glad i'm done with it.
i'll indulge myself just a bit farther and offer this one piece of advice that i wish had been laid on me a long while ago. maybe it will be of use to you or maybe not. it realy is quite true ... one man in this world truely is nothing, in the sence of getting anything done and making anything interesting and rewarding happen, that is. there are exceptions of course, and maybe you are one of them, but most of us need communities of people to make anything happen *and to keep us happy*. find a community of people that support your diverse interests and keep you inspired. look for similarly diverse people and don't depend too much on people who are narrowly focused on just a couple of things.
that will be tough to do with such a broad interest base!
there is a fantasticly huge number of close minded, introverted, and miserable people with horrible social skills in