I ride the 'southern operator' they mention every day - Southern Trains by no curious coincidence whatsoever. There is this kind of subliminal pecking order amongst commuters. If you tell people you have to ride Southern every morning their response varies from abject pity to amused disbelief. In the 5 months I have used their service, I have been (on average) delayed by around 25 minutes for my morning journey and 45 in the evenings. Why? It's a myriad of things but suffice it to say that this company is a prime example of throwing money at the wrong bits of a problem.
The GPS one is a prime example. The door systems on the modern trains (the ones with sliding doors that don't have to be slammed shut and opened by reaching out of a window and fumbling for a lever) are GPS actuated. These doors will not allow passengers to open them unless the location of the train can automatically be established as being within a few metres of a normal station platform stopping point. The upshot? When it's cloudy or there is any kind of reception fault (as when we get back into London's Victoria station and we're under 20 ft of steel-reinforced concrete) the doors cannot be opened without the driver entering the positioning coordinates manually.
A driver was telling me that there is no 'look just open the bloody doors - I've got a key' button. So journey's all over the south coast are now delayed by really stupid door faults. Ironically the most reliable trains are the slam-door variety I mentioned earlier (which are eminently usable despite feeling like Stephenson's Rocket - unless you are in a wheelchair and then you can pretty much forget it).
Surely a serious contender for most elegant equation must be M = PQ and the associated factoring problem when given M and the knowledge that {P, Q} are prime and P Q.
This is without doubt one of the simplest bit of maths to explain to anyone. It is also almost as old as multiplication itself and fundementally uncracked by modern number theory.
A number theory problem that is expressed by 4 symbols and can be explained to a child of 10 that has confounded mathemeticians for centuries and continues to do so. How elegant and wonderfully fiendish is that?
...have inspired me to share other excerpts from Valenti's Bumper Christmas Compendium of Crap Analogies...
Well, you see, it's like a duck sitting in the forest. If you feed it some kibble and two weeks later it vomits all over a tree, you don't expect to be able to send the cleaning bill to Cher, now do you?
Take my Auntie Scarface as an example - she likes to eat her CDs proclaiming them to be an excellent alternative to coconut macaroons. Now who'd want to back up a macaroon (must...suppress...foul...image)?
How many times? Digital data can only be handled by an expert wearing a grade 3 frock and wielding a polo mallet and you'd look pretty silly in those so you shouldn't do it.
...what will happen when major telcos start employing quantum cryptography...
Ashcroft: All telecommunications are belong to us - intercept...intercept!
Techie: But Johnny, you canna change the laws of physics
Ashcroft (non-musically): Let the eeeeeagle soar!
Techie: But...
Ashcroft (in the style of Homer making a point): I said let... the... eeeeeagle... soar!
Slashdot Mirror
The GPS one is a prime example. The door systems on the modern trains (the ones with sliding doors that don't have to be slammed shut and opened by reaching out of a window and fumbling for a lever) are GPS actuated. These doors will not allow passengers to open them unless the location of the train can automatically be established as being within a few metres of a normal station platform stopping point. The upshot? When it's cloudy or there is any kind of reception fault (as when we get back into London's Victoria station and we're under 20 ft of steel-reinforced concrete) the doors cannot be opened without the driver entering the positioning coordinates manually.
A driver was telling me that there is no 'look just open the bloody doors - I've got a key' button. So journey's all over the south coast are now delayed by really stupid door faults. Ironically the most reliable trains are the slam-door variety I mentioned earlier (which are eminently usable despite feeling like Stephenson's Rocket - unless you are in a wheelchair and then you can pretty much forget it).
Surely a serious contender for most elegant equation must be M = PQ and the associated factoring problem when given M and the knowledge that {P, Q} are prime and P Q. This is without doubt one of the simplest bit of maths to explain to anyone. It is also almost as old as multiplication itself and fundementally uncracked by modern number theory. A number theory problem that is expressed by 4 symbols and can be explained to a child of 10 that has confounded mathemeticians for centuries and continues to do so. How elegant and wonderfully fiendish is that?
...what will happen when major telcos start employing quantum cryptography...
... the ... eeeeeagle ... soar!
Ashcroft: All telecommunications are belong to us - intercept...intercept!
Techie: But Johnny, you canna change the laws of physics
Ashcroft (non-musically): Let the eeeeeagle soar!
Techie: But...
Ashcroft (in the style of Homer making a point): I said let