Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda stepped off the bus and was led into the yard of the Main
State Correctional Institute. He had been given ten years for participating in
a stock fraud. Five with good behavior. Years spent basking in the glow of a
CRT had been hard on him. His body was frail, his skin pallid. He knew he could
never make it through ten years in the general population with his virginity
intact. He had to get into solitary.
As soon as the burly guard unshackled him he made his move. Exhaling a feminine
"hmmph" he weakly slapped the guard. He was quickly taken to the ground,
receiving a swift kick to the ribs before being restrained. As he was dragged
to the solitary confinement cell he felt nothing but relief. "At least in
solitary," he thought "I'll be safe." Unfortunately for Rob he had picked the
wrong guard to mess with.
The next few days were uneventful. The time in his cell he spent evenly between
sleeping, reading a "Perl for Dummies" book he had gotten from the book cart,
and masturbating furiously. His self-flagellation was interrupted on the fourth
day. The burly guard he had attacked earlier stepped into his cell. The gleam
in the guards eye and the mean grin on his face made Rob's pecker quickly
shrivel in his hand. "You fucked with the wrong man when you fucked with
Michael Simms," said the guard. "The inmates here call me The Asshole for a
reason. Now come with me, punk."
The guard led him down the hall to one of several empty shower stalls. He
roughly threw Rob in the stall and locked the door. Rob was petrified. His mind
raced as he imagined the myriad of different tortures that could be in store
for him. His worst fears were confirmed when the guard returned. In his hands
were a short black dress, black stilleto heels, and a curly blonde wig. "Strip
down and put this on, bitch." Rob did as instructed and was pleased to notice
that the dress fit well and the heels gave him a nice slimming effect. The
burly guard admired the drag queen. "The GNAA is gonna love you!"
The guard left the shower stall, only to return minutes later. He opened the
door and led 20 large black men into the stall. "Rob, meet the Gay Nigger
Association of America. GNAA, meet Rob. I'm sure you all will get along fine."
With that the guard slammed the shower door closed and walked away laughing.
The men approached Rob, backing him into a corner. The apparent leader stepped
forward. "No matter what I'm gonna fuck that purdy lil' ass of yours. Now I can
fuck it dry or you can lube it up for me." Rob knew he had no choice. He
kneeled in front of the leader, who began to slap his face with his 10 black
inches. Puss from syphilictic sores quickly covered Rob's cheeks. When the
leader was sufficiently aroused he placed his throbbing cock up to Rob's lips.
As soon as Rob opened his mouth the leader violently shoved his manhood to the
back of Rob's throat and exclaimed "Swallow my shit you cracker bitch!" Rob
gagged as he was violently face fucked.
Just when he was about to pass out the leader pulled out, turned him around and
shoved his cock into Rob's ass. Rob began to scream in agony but his cries were
quickly muffled by one of the other gang member's cocks. They rode him like
that for the better part of an hour. When one man finished another quickly took
his place. Just as Rob was getting used to the throbbing pain in his anus the
men stopped. One man lay down on the floor and Rob was told to get on top of
him and take his dick inside him. Exhausted and humiliated, Rob had no will
left to fight. As soon as he inserted the penis another man came up behind him
and began to force his cock into Rob's already filled anus. Again his screams
of agony were muffled, this time by a smelly black anus.
For another hour he was violated in this way. When the men were finished with
him he couldn't walk and his mouth was filled with dingleberries and ass hairs.
Before they all left the leader had some parting words for Rob: "Thanks for
that sweet piece of ass, punk. We'll see you again tomorrow. Oh by the way, we
all have AIDS." It was going to be a long ten years for Rob.
GNAA introduces first open-source corpse GNAA introduces first open-source corpse
GNAP [Gay Nigger Associated Press], ASSEVILLERS, FRANCE - In a move
that is sure to redefine the open source community of the future, Gay Nigger
Association of America (News |
Websites) introduced the first open source
corpse after the untimely death of Hans Bakker.
Bakker, a developer for the OpenBSD project, which preceded him in death,
was travelling back to Paris after the SANE conference. Unfortunately, known
hippie and NAMBLA member Richard Stallman had been dropped off at his hotel and
was not in the car when a truck made the first contribution to Bakker's
corpse's CVS by merging into it at high speed. Bakker's death was confirmed
immediately via IRC by his virtual girlfriend.
The instant the opened skull was declared in the public domain, GNAA member
Gary Niger annointed it with Holy Gay Nigger Seed to ensure a smooth passage
into the afterlife and robust continued development. Thrusting rhythmically
into the still-warm and pulsing brain of the dying man, Gary shouted "FUCK BSD;
BSD IS DYING; BSD SUCKS; BSD IS DEAD TO ME; BSD DID WTC LOL" before exploding
in orgasmic waves of pleasure as the sensitive nerves at the tip of his penis
made contact with Bakker's last semi-conscious thoughts.
Associated bacteria immediately lined up to make their contributions, as did
several nearby flies hoping to raise families of open source maggots. However,
CmdrTaco of Slashdot, a known scene gadfly
and AZT addict, flopped heavily into the area while loudly proclaiming first
dibs on the rectum. In response, #GNAA attendee GasJews challenged him. "Tell
that fag CmdrTaco that I've got first dibs on this dead anus," he said, "and
that I'm going to beat him down, then fuck him tenderly all night long," said
GasJews, liberally spraying Holy Gay Nigger Seed over the EMS personnel and
local French police, who were delighted.
Since the 1990s, open source has been a popular way of developing free
software for the general public, maintained by teams of pimply nerds with angst
at their utter uselessness outside of the imaginary world of computers and
networks. Much like a religion, it requires absolute obedience to its concept
and encourages contributors to vehemently rail against any software which
actually functions, including Microsoft's popular Windows operating system.
The future of Open Source Hans Baker Corpse (OSHBC) remains to be determined
as the development team is still being assembled. Using the Concurrent Versions
System (CVS), developers will be able to modify the corpse to refine its
function as a BSD-analogue, something made easier by the fact that both are
dead. All interested developers are encouraged to contact the OSHBC project at
http://sourceforge.net/.
About Hans Bakker
Hans Bakker was a lowly BSD developer who like many sought to replace a real
world life with online presence as a feeble justification that he was "doing
something" about the world's dire situation. Most of his days were spent on
IRC, flirting with fat girls who had once gone through a gothic phase before
deciding on Lesbianism, at which point the resounding lack of attention nearly
starved them. Read more at his unfinished closed-source site,
http://www.hans.cx.
About Assevillers
Assevillers, France, is a small town of population 228 in the gorgeous
pastel-colored French countryside. During WWII, it was home to several
prostitutes who slept with occupying Germans, recognizing the dominant cocks of
these very hetero warriors as the future of France, which has been a bottom
since roughly AD 1250. The French people have fought many wars during that time
and have won none of them, distingu
Slashdot Mirror
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda stepped off the bus and was led into the yard of the Main State Correctional Institute. He had been given ten years for participating in a stock fraud. Five with good behavior. Years spent basking in the glow of a CRT had been hard on him. His body was frail, his skin pallid. He knew he could never make it through ten years in the general population with his virginity intact. He had to get into solitary. As soon as the burly guard unshackled him he made his move. Exhaling a feminine "hmmph" he weakly slapped the guard. He was quickly taken to the ground, receiving a swift kick to the ribs before being restrained. As he was dragged to the solitary confinement cell he felt nothing but relief. "At least in solitary," he thought "I'll be safe." Unfortunately for Rob he had picked the wrong guard to mess with. The next few days were uneventful. The time in his cell he spent evenly between sleeping, reading a "Perl for Dummies" book he had gotten from the book cart, and masturbating furiously. His self-flagellation was interrupted on the fourth day. The burly guard he had attacked earlier stepped into his cell. The gleam in the guards eye and the mean grin on his face made Rob's pecker quickly shrivel in his hand. "You fucked with the wrong man when you fucked with Michael Simms," said the guard. "The inmates here call me The Asshole for a reason. Now come with me, punk." The guard led him down the hall to one of several empty shower stalls. He roughly threw Rob in the stall and locked the door. Rob was petrified. His mind raced as he imagined the myriad of different tortures that could be in store for him. His worst fears were confirmed when the guard returned. In his hands were a short black dress, black stilleto heels, and a curly blonde wig. "Strip down and put this on, bitch." Rob did as instructed and was pleased to notice that the dress fit well and the heels gave him a nice slimming effect. The burly guard admired the drag queen. "The GNAA is gonna love you!" The guard left the shower stall, only to return minutes later. He opened the door and led 20 large black men into the stall. "Rob, meet the Gay Nigger Association of America. GNAA, meet Rob. I'm sure you all will get along fine." With that the guard slammed the shower door closed and walked away laughing. The men approached Rob, backing him into a corner. The apparent leader stepped forward. "No matter what I'm gonna fuck that purdy lil' ass of yours. Now I can fuck it dry or you can lube it up for me." Rob knew he had no choice. He kneeled in front of the leader, who began to slap his face with his 10 black inches. Puss from syphilictic sores quickly covered Rob's cheeks. When the leader was sufficiently aroused he placed his throbbing cock up to Rob's lips. As soon as Rob opened his mouth the leader violently shoved his manhood to the back of Rob's throat and exclaimed "Swallow my shit you cracker bitch!" Rob gagged as he was violently face fucked. Just when he was about to pass out the leader pulled out, turned him around and shoved his cock into Rob's ass. Rob began to scream in agony but his cries were quickly muffled by one of the other gang member's cocks. They rode him like that for the better part of an hour. When one man finished another quickly took his place. Just as Rob was getting used to the throbbing pain in his anus the men stopped. One man lay down on the floor and Rob was told to get on top of him and take his dick inside him. Exhausted and humiliated, Rob had no will left to fight. As soon as he inserted the penis another man came up behind him and began to force his cock into Rob's already filled anus. Again his screams of agony were muffled, this time by a smelly black anus. For another hour he was violated in this way. When the men were finished with him he couldn't walk and his mouth was filled with dingleberries and ass hairs. Before they all left the leader had some parting words for Rob: "Thanks for that sweet piece of ass, punk. We'll see you again tomorrow. Oh by the way, we all have AIDS." It was going to be a long ten years for Rob.
GNAA introduces first open-source corpse
GNAP [Gay Nigger Associated Press], ASSEVILLERS, FRANCE - In a move that is sure to redefine the open source community of the future, Gay Nigger Association of America (News | Websites) introduced the first open source corpse after the untimely death of Hans Bakker.
Bakker, a developer for the OpenBSD project, which preceded him in death, was travelling back to Paris after the SANE conference. Unfortunately, known hippie and NAMBLA member Richard Stallman had been dropped off at his hotel and was not in the car when a truck made the first contribution to Bakker's corpse's CVS by merging into it at high speed. Bakker's death was confirmed immediately via IRC by his virtual girlfriend.
The instant the opened skull was declared in the public domain, GNAA member Gary Niger annointed it with Holy Gay Nigger Seed to ensure a smooth passage into the afterlife and robust continued development. Thrusting rhythmically into the still-warm and pulsing brain of the dying man, Gary shouted "FUCK BSD; BSD IS DYING; BSD SUCKS; BSD IS DEAD TO ME; BSD DID WTC LOL" before exploding in orgasmic waves of pleasure as the sensitive nerves at the tip of his penis made contact with Bakker's last semi-conscious thoughts.
Associated bacteria immediately lined up to make their contributions, as did several nearby flies hoping to raise families of open source maggots. However, CmdrTaco of Slashdot, a known scene gadfly and AZT addict, flopped heavily into the area while loudly proclaiming first dibs on the rectum. In response, #GNAA attendee GasJews challenged him. "Tell that fag CmdrTaco that I've got first dibs on this dead anus," he said, "and that I'm going to beat him down, then fuck him tenderly all night long," said GasJews, liberally spraying Holy Gay Nigger Seed over the EMS personnel and local French police, who were delighted.
Since the 1990s, open source has been a popular way of developing free software for the general public, maintained by teams of pimply nerds with angst at their utter uselessness outside of the imaginary world of computers and networks. Much like a religion, it requires absolute obedience to its concept and encourages contributors to vehemently rail against any software which actually functions, including Microsoft's popular Windows operating system.
The future of Open Source Hans Baker Corpse (OSHBC) remains to be determined as the development team is still being assembled. Using the Concurrent Versions System (CVS), developers will be able to modify the corpse to refine its function as a BSD-analogue, something made easier by the fact that both are dead. All interested developers are encouraged to contact the OSHBC project at http://sourceforge.net/.
About Hans Bakker
Hans Bakker was a lowly BSD developer who like many sought to replace a real world life with online presence as a feeble justification that he was "doing something" about the world's dire situation. Most of his days were spent on IRC, flirting with fat girls who had once gone through a gothic phase before deciding on Lesbianism, at which point the resounding lack of attention nearly starved them. Read more at his unfinished closed-source site, http://www.hans.cx.
About Assevillers
Assevillers, France, is a small town of population 228 in the gorgeous pastel-colored French countryside. During WWII, it was home to several prostitutes who slept with occupying Germans, recognizing the dominant cocks of these very hetero warriors as the future of France, which has been a bottom since roughly AD 1250. The French people have fought many wars during that time and have won none of them, distingu