Low-Carb Movement Gains Internet Celebrity Support
Noted Internet fatass cowboyneal has a new reason to eat a pound of ground
beef, only this time it is not deep fried in corn batter and surrounded by
curly fries. No, on a routine trip to Carl's jr. he tells me that he discovered
the low carb six dollar burger purely by accident, originally thinking of it as
a way to eat more fat and not be filled with bread. It became more of an
obsession than linux douchebaggery. The psychological heirarchy of needs is
proven once again.
Instead of his normal deep fried vegetable fat intake this is animal fat,
something that feeds the carnal nature of all man. It is also the main stay of
one of the most popular low-carb diet crazes to hit the market. The atkin's
nutritional approach is driven not by a lower fat intake, or a particularly low
caloric intake but rather high protein and high fat in the initial stages of
the diet, it is safe to continue induction for up to six months. This induction
phase is what cowboyneal had stumbled upon.
GNAA reporter GuyNiguere questioned Carl's jr. employee and undercover
informant JesuitX about cowboyneal's visits to the fast food chain. Upon
questioning JesuitX pulled his 2-foot nigger cock out of the mayonnaise vat and
began cursing the franchise owner and anyone who looked like that "chink Korean
penny pinching assface with the black heart of a Jew banker foreclosing on a
struggling rural family in western Nebraska". Having never actually answered
any questions GuyNiguere decided to stake the restaurant out him self. These
are the findings of the stake out:
GuyNiguere, stake out report. Day 1
After a morning of no relevant activity I believe I have hit the motherlode
so to speak, after feeling several small tremors and noticing the scent of
burning pork and Marlboro light cigarettes he appeared. This magnificent
behemoth of a man resembling a pasty white pre-surgery Al Roker genetically
crossed with a tokyox hog. I knew at once it was the unspeakable, the terrible,
the unimaginable, CowBoyNeal. After slipping on his own sweat and having three
employees with a hand truck prop him up at the counter he proceeded to order
fourteen low-carb six-dollar burgers. Enough beef to feed the children of an
entire AOL call center.
I feel I must talk to this incredible beast but the crunch of burger
wrappers and commotion of Carl's jr. employees is just too much for me. Today
has been a momentous day, and I would love to get the story first hand from the
man, but surely his failing eyesight, latent racism, and my natural nigger
tendencies to wear bright colors could mean certain death. Perhaps tomorrow, I
need to regain my strength.
The GNAA reporter had every right to be afraid, for the next day he
attempted to talk to the infamous butterball and was likely savagely devoured
much to the amazement of the GNAA. Always the forward thinker he decided to use
his stolen laptop to broadcast the interview live via irc. This shocking moment
in slashdot/gnaa relations is both disturbing and enlightening.
GuyNiguere: I'm here with cowboyneal, I am about to go ask him about his weight loss, I may die, but to leave this world in service of the GNAA is the most noble way to go.
GuyNiguere: Cowboyneal, I see you've lost a lot of weight, how did you manage to do it?
GuyNiguere: He says that I look tasty and that he has lost almost a quarter of his weight 475 lbs. so far by simply eating nothing more than six-dollar burgers dripping with ranch dressing.
GuyNiguere: How did you notice the weight loss, forgive me but a quarter of your weight isn't all that much in the scope of things.
GuyNiguere: He says the first indication was when his wife found his penis and he's been pumping the porker ever since she figured out how to support his cockapron with a pneumatic cylinder.
GuyNiguere: How has your new diet changed your life?
GuyNiguere: He said I look like I'm made of tasty nigger meat and that it has allow
LastMeasure hits the 100000 watermark
on
Intro to Encryption
·
· Score: -1, Troll
LastMeasure hits the 100000 watermark LastMeasure hits the 100000 watermark Zeikfried - Reuters, Nigeria
In a self congratulatory press conference described by one historical
analyst as to be "worth 10 Dresdens", the now world famous egalitarians of the
Gay Nigger Association of America announced to the worlds press that their
highly successful open source lastmeasure project has now reached over one
hundred thousand homes across the world.
Amidst a snowstorm of tickertape and parade like festivity, Penisbird, one
of the founders of the LastMeasure project, screeched triumphantly from his now
gold plated dong perch that the exponental growth of the sought after shock
site can only continue. And even those outside the GNAAs dark skinned sphere of
influence can only agree, in the face of the cutting edge "xangadot" marketing
techniques applied by GNAA LM sales reps Incog, Saturn, Trake, qat, and
Zeikfred Tuvai.
The sheer ferocity of the xangadot effect has caught many by surprise, none
more so than xanga spokesperson AzN_ThuG_08, who was quoted as saying
"MUTHAFUCKA TAKE DOWN MAH SITE...BITCH IM LETTIN U...FUCK DIS SITE AND FUCK U
TOO. I CAN MAKE A NEW ONE I GOT THA TIME u stupid muthafucka" before driving
his nitroglycerin laced riced up honda into GNAA Headquarters in a suicidal and
dastardly attempt to decapitate the GNAA leadership. Thankfully the 140 decibel
exhaust of the now vapourised vehicle allowed the surrounding buildings to be
evacuated several minutes before the atrocity took place.
Speaking from his converted 1970's brothel, overpaid financial analyst Gary
Niger told Reuters, "The effects of what has been dubbed the 'Open Source Final
Solution' can be felt in almost every area of digital society. A striking
example of this would be the once worthless.info TLD being re-energised with a
huge cash and semen injection from the GNAA LastMeasure project, punctuated by
Netcrafts recent confirmation that the GNAA has now gained a massive
controlling stake in.info over the course of the past 2 months".
Can this momentum continue? Or has LastMeasure reached its unsurpassable
xenith, with the only way left down? GNAA President timecop refused to comment,
instead choosing to bathe naked in a pool of Yen laughing insanely. The
future seems bright.
About LastMeasure:
A primitive version of LastMeasure was concieved by Penisbird of the GNAA
after playing with an AIM utility named AIM Invader. It offered Penisbird a
myriad of ways to crash AIM clients. By far the most powerful crash was the
"last measure" crash, which would inundate an AIM client with file transfer
requests, buddy list sends, messages full of smileys and colors, until the AIM
client crashed due to lack of RAM.
The LastMeasure site originally consisted of Penisbird, Goatse, Tubgirl,
Lemonparty, and Shitfaced Lady. But has expanded to include many other of the
internets treasured icons. And with the addition of StatsMeasure, the clipboard
data of thousands of unwitting victims has now been exposed for the world to
see.
For more information about LastMeasure, visit the official website,
LastMeasure.com
LastMeasure is licensed under the BSD Version 2 License.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy
all the b
GNAA introduces first open-source corpse GNAA introduces first open-source corpse
GNAP [Gay Nigger Associated Press], ASSEVILLERS, FRANCE - In a move
that is sure to redefine the open source community of the future, Gay Nigger
Association of America (News |
Websites) introduced the first open source
corpse after the untimely death of Hans Bakker.
Bakker, a developer for the OpenBSD project, which preceded him in death,
was travelling back to Paris after the SANE conference. Unfortunately, known
hippie and NAMBLA member Richard Stallman had been dropped off at his hotel and
was not in the car when a truck made the first contribution to Bakker's
corpse's CVS by merging into it at high speed. Bakker's death was confirmed
immediately via IRC by his virtual girlfriend.
The instant the opened skull was declared in the public domain, GNAA member
Gary Niger annointed it with Holy Gay Nigger Seed to ensure a smooth passage
into the afterlife and robust continued development. Thrusting rhythmically
into the still-warm and pulsing brain of the dying man, Gary shouted "FUCK BSD;
BSD IS DYING; BSD SUCKS; BSD IS DEAD TO ME; BSD DID WTC LOL" before exploding
in orgasmic waves of pleasure as the sensitive nerves at the tip of his penis
made contact with Bakker's last semi-conscious thoughts.
Associated bacteria immediately lined up to make their contributions, as did
several nearby flies hoping to raise families of open source maggots. However,
CmdrTaco of Slashdot, a known scene gadfly
and AZT addict, flopped heavily into the area while loudly proclaiming first
dibs on the rectum. In response, #GNAA attendee GasJews challenged him. "Tell
that fag CmdrTaco that I've got first dibs on this dead anus," he said, "and
that I'm going to beat him down, then fuck him tenderly all night long," said
GasJews, liberally spraying Holy Gay Nigger Seed over the EMS personnel and
local French police, who were delighted.
Since the 1990s, open source has been a popular way of developing free
software for the general public, maintained by teams of pimply nerds with angst
at their utter uselessness outside of the imaginary world of computers and
networks. Much like a religion, it requires absolute obedience to its concept
and encourages contributors to vehemently rail against any software which
actually functions, including Microsoft's popular Windows operating system.
The future of Open Source Hans Baker Corpse (OSHBC) remains to be determined
as the development team is still being assembled. Using the Concurrent Versions
System (CVS), developers will be able to modify the corpse to refine its
function as a BSD-analogue, something made easier by the fact that both are
dead. All interested developers are encouraged to contact the OSHBC project at
http://sourceforge.net/.
About Hans Bakker
Hans Bakker was a lowly BSD developer who like many sought to replace a real
world life with online presence as a feeble justification that he was "doing
something" about the world's dire situation. Most of his days were spent on
IRC, flirting with fat girls who had once gone through a gothic phase before
deciding on Lesbianism, at which point the resounding lack of attention nearly
starved them. Read more at his unfinished closed-source site,
http://www.hans.cx.
About Assevillers
Assevillers, France, is a small town of population 228 in the gorgeous
pastel-colored French countryside. During WWII, it was home to several
prostitutes who slept with occupying Germans, recognizing the dominant cocks of
these very hetero warriors as the future of France, which has been a bottom
since roughly AD 1250. The French people have fought many wars during that time
and have won none of them, distingu
Slashdot Mirror
Noted Internet fatass cowboyneal has a new reason to eat a pound of ground beef, only this time it is not deep fried in corn batter and surrounded by curly fries. No, on a routine trip to Carl's jr. he tells me that he discovered the low carb six dollar burger purely by accident, originally thinking of it as a way to eat more fat and not be filled with bread. It became more of an obsession than linux douchebaggery. The psychological heirarchy of needs is proven once again.
Instead of his normal deep fried vegetable fat intake this is animal fat, something that feeds the carnal nature of all man. It is also the main stay of one of the most popular low-carb diet crazes to hit the market. The atkin's nutritional approach is driven not by a lower fat intake, or a particularly low caloric intake but rather high protein and high fat in the initial stages of the diet, it is safe to continue induction for up to six months. This induction phase is what cowboyneal had stumbled upon.
GNAA reporter GuyNiguere questioned Carl's jr. employee and undercover informant JesuitX about cowboyneal's visits to the fast food chain. Upon questioning JesuitX pulled his 2-foot nigger cock out of the mayonnaise vat and began cursing the franchise owner and anyone who looked like that "chink Korean penny pinching assface with the black heart of a Jew banker foreclosing on a struggling rural family in western Nebraska". Having never actually answered any questions GuyNiguere decided to stake the restaurant out him self. These are the findings of the stake out:
GuyNiguere, stake out report. Day 1
After a morning of no relevant activity I believe I have hit the motherlode so to speak, after feeling several small tremors and noticing the scent of burning pork and Marlboro light cigarettes he appeared. This magnificent behemoth of a man resembling a pasty white pre-surgery Al Roker genetically crossed with a tokyox hog. I knew at once it was the unspeakable, the terrible, the unimaginable, CowBoyNeal. After slipping on his own sweat and having three employees with a hand truck prop him up at the counter he proceeded to order fourteen low-carb six-dollar burgers. Enough beef to feed the children of an entire AOL call center.
I feel I must talk to this incredible beast but the crunch of burger wrappers and commotion of Carl's jr. employees is just too much for me. Today has been a momentous day, and I would love to get the story first hand from the man, but surely his failing eyesight, latent racism, and my natural nigger tendencies to wear bright colors could mean certain death. Perhaps tomorrow, I need to regain my strength.
The GNAA reporter had every right to be afraid, for the next day he attempted to talk to the infamous butterball and was likely savagely devoured much to the amazement of the GNAA. Always the forward thinker he decided to use his stolen laptop to broadcast the interview live via irc. This shocking moment in slashdot/gnaa relations is both disturbing and enlightening.
GuyNiguere: I'm here with cowboyneal, I am about to go ask him about his weight loss, I may die, but to leave this world in service of the GNAA is the most noble way to go.
GuyNiguere: Cowboyneal, I see you've lost a lot of weight, how did you manage to do it?
GuyNiguere: He says that I look tasty and that he has lost almost a quarter of his weight 475 lbs. so far by simply eating nothing more than six-dollar burgers dripping with ranch dressing.
GuyNiguere: How did you notice the weight loss, forgive me but a quarter of your weight isn't all that much in the scope of things.
GuyNiguere: He says the first indication was when his wife found his penis and he's been pumping the porker ever since she figured out how to support his cockapron with a pneumatic cylinder.
GuyNiguere: How has your new diet changed your life?
GuyNiguere: He said I look like I'm made of tasty nigger meat and that it has allow
LastMeasure hits the 100000 watermark
Zeikfried - Reuters, Nigeria
In a self congratulatory press conference described by one historical analyst as to be "worth 10 Dresdens", the now world famous egalitarians of the Gay Nigger Association of America announced to the worlds press that their highly successful open source lastmeasure project has now reached over one hundred thousand homes across the world.
Amidst a snowstorm of tickertape and parade like festivity, Penisbird, one of the founders of the LastMeasure project, screeched triumphantly from his now gold plated dong perch that the exponental growth of the sought after shock site can only continue. And even those outside the GNAAs dark skinned sphere of influence can only agree, in the face of the cutting edge "xangadot" marketing techniques applied by GNAA LM sales reps Incog, Saturn, Trake, qat, and Zeikfred Tuvai.
The sheer ferocity of the xangadot effect has caught many by surprise, none more so than xanga spokesperson AzN_ThuG_08, who was quoted as saying "MUTHAFUCKA TAKE DOWN MAH SITE...BITCH IM LETTIN U...FUCK DIS SITE AND FUCK U TOO. I CAN MAKE A NEW ONE I GOT THA TIME u stupid muthafucka" before driving his nitroglycerin laced riced up honda into GNAA Headquarters in a suicidal and dastardly attempt to decapitate the GNAA leadership. Thankfully the 140 decibel exhaust of the now vapourised vehicle allowed the surrounding buildings to be evacuated several minutes before the atrocity took place.
Speaking from his converted 1970's brothel, overpaid financial analyst Gary Niger told Reuters, "The effects of what has been dubbed the 'Open Source Final Solution' can be felt in almost every area of digital society. A striking example of this would be the once worthless .info TLD being re-energised with a
huge cash and semen injection from the GNAA LastMeasure project, punctuated by
Netcrafts recent confirmation that the GNAA has now gained a massive
controlling stake in .info over the course of the past 2 months".
Can this momentum continue? Or has LastMeasure reached its unsurpassable xenith, with the only way left down? GNAA President timecop refused to comment, instead choosing to bathe naked in a pool of Yen laughing insanely. The future seems bright.
About LastMeasure:
A primitive version of LastMeasure was concieved by Penisbird of the GNAA after playing with an AIM utility named AIM Invader. It offered Penisbird a myriad of ways to crash AIM clients. By far the most powerful crash was the "last measure" crash, which would inundate an AIM client with file transfer requests, buddy list sends, messages full of smileys and colors, until the AIM client crashed due to lack of RAM.
The LastMeasure site originally consisted of Penisbird, Goatse, Tubgirl, Lemonparty, and Shitfaced Lady. But has expanded to include many other of the internets treasured icons. And with the addition of StatsMeasure, the clipboard data of thousands of unwitting victims has now been exposed for the world to see.
For more information about LastMeasure, visit the official website, LastMeasure.com
LastMeasure is licensed under the BSD Version 2 License.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the b
GNAA introduces first open-source corpse
GNAP [Gay Nigger Associated Press], ASSEVILLERS, FRANCE - In a move that is sure to redefine the open source community of the future, Gay Nigger Association of America (News | Websites) introduced the first open source corpse after the untimely death of Hans Bakker.
Bakker, a developer for the OpenBSD project, which preceded him in death, was travelling back to Paris after the SANE conference. Unfortunately, known hippie and NAMBLA member Richard Stallman had been dropped off at his hotel and was not in the car when a truck made the first contribution to Bakker's corpse's CVS by merging into it at high speed. Bakker's death was confirmed immediately via IRC by his virtual girlfriend.
The instant the opened skull was declared in the public domain, GNAA member Gary Niger annointed it with Holy Gay Nigger Seed to ensure a smooth passage into the afterlife and robust continued development. Thrusting rhythmically into the still-warm and pulsing brain of the dying man, Gary shouted "FUCK BSD; BSD IS DYING; BSD SUCKS; BSD IS DEAD TO ME; BSD DID WTC LOL" before exploding in orgasmic waves of pleasure as the sensitive nerves at the tip of his penis made contact with Bakker's last semi-conscious thoughts.
Associated bacteria immediately lined up to make their contributions, as did several nearby flies hoping to raise families of open source maggots. However, CmdrTaco of Slashdot, a known scene gadfly and AZT addict, flopped heavily into the area while loudly proclaiming first dibs on the rectum. In response, #GNAA attendee GasJews challenged him. "Tell that fag CmdrTaco that I've got first dibs on this dead anus," he said, "and that I'm going to beat him down, then fuck him tenderly all night long," said GasJews, liberally spraying Holy Gay Nigger Seed over the EMS personnel and local French police, who were delighted.
Since the 1990s, open source has been a popular way of developing free software for the general public, maintained by teams of pimply nerds with angst at their utter uselessness outside of the imaginary world of computers and networks. Much like a religion, it requires absolute obedience to its concept and encourages contributors to vehemently rail against any software which actually functions, including Microsoft's popular Windows operating system.
The future of Open Source Hans Baker Corpse (OSHBC) remains to be determined as the development team is still being assembled. Using the Concurrent Versions System (CVS), developers will be able to modify the corpse to refine its function as a BSD-analogue, something made easier by the fact that both are dead. All interested developers are encouraged to contact the OSHBC project at http://sourceforge.net/.
About Hans Bakker
Hans Bakker was a lowly BSD developer who like many sought to replace a real world life with online presence as a feeble justification that he was "doing something" about the world's dire situation. Most of his days were spent on IRC, flirting with fat girls who had once gone through a gothic phase before deciding on Lesbianism, at which point the resounding lack of attention nearly starved them. Read more at his unfinished closed-source site, http://www.hans.cx.
About Assevillers
Assevillers, France, is a small town of population 228 in the gorgeous pastel-colored French countryside. During WWII, it was home to several prostitutes who slept with occupying Germans, recognizing the dominant cocks of these very hetero warriors as the future of France, which has been a bottom since roughly AD 1250. The French people have fought many wars during that time and have won none of them, distingu