GNAA copycats arrested in LastMeasure child porn s
on
Iron Council
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· Score: -1, Troll
GNAA copycats arrested in LastMeasure child porn scam
London, England -- GNAA's UK division has reported that five unnamed jews
who abused LastMeasure links at their school in a total failure of a fashion
were today taken away for interrogation by the government's National High Tech
Crime Unit. The accused created shitty batch files in a rucas-esque attempt to
flood the schools' computer systems with LastMeasure URL's.
After a filled computer class was exposed to LastMeasure for more than five
minutes, a N.H.T.C.U. team raided the computer lab and abducted the
culprits. One managed to escape the clutches of the government after being
taken to a detention centre and fled to the GNAA UK headquarters in London.
According to an interview with the escapee, they were taken away to an
unknown location and locked in a cell. One by one, they were taken and
tortured for hours on end with spiky anal dildos and analpears. Heading up the
torture was none other then the notorious Kirk Johnson, also known by his
nickname "The Goatse Man".
"It was absolutely horrible! My asshole is now ruined for life. The things
they were doing to us were unhuman. All the while, we were forced to hear a
looping MP3 of Mr Johnson repeating 'I am the Goatse Man, I stretch ass like
no-one can' over and over. I will never be able to sleep soundly again. These
people are monsters!"
We were then informed that the remaining prisoners were to be flown to
Iraq for beheading, Kenneth Bigley style.
This news has shocked the GNAA community. Many were in disbelief that
LastMeasure had any child porn what so ever. According to our inside nigger
agent in the N.H.T.C.U. the image file "eww.jpg" was found to be of a
"paedophilic" nature. dcom of the GNAA's UK branch was found saying "wtf,
thats child porn? I masturbate to that picture evey day and I'm no paedophile!"
We believe this to be an unjust attack against the GNAA's premiere software
product, and yet another attempt by the Zionists rooted deep within the British
Government to destroy the world's greatest trolling organisation.
We will not waive on our stance that LastMeasure is 100% legal. We shall go
on to the end, we shall fight on the Internets, we shall fight on 4chan and on
Slashdot, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength with our
next-generation trolling applications, we shall defend LastMeasure, whatever
the cost may be, we shall fight on IRC, we shall fight on the telephone
conferences, we shall fight in the schools and in the streets, we shall
fight in the hills. We shall never surrender.
About LastMeasure:
A primitive version of LastMeasure was concieved by Penisbird of the GNAA
after playing with an AIM utility named AIM Invader. It offered Penisbird a
myriad of ways to crash AIM clients. By far the most powerful crash was the
"last measure" crash, which would inundate an AIM client with file transfer
requests, buddy list sends, messages full of smileys and colors, until the AIM
client crashed due to lack of RAM.
The LastMeasure site originally consisted of Penisbird, Goatse, Tubgirl,
Lemonparty, and Shitfaced Lady. But has expanded to include many other of the
internets treasured icons. And with the addition of StatsMeasure, the clipboard
data of thousands of unwitting victims has now been exposed for the world to
see.
For more information about LastMeasure, visit the official website,
LastMeasure.com
LastMeasure is licensed under the BSD Version 2 License.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
GNAA Mourns Passing of Litigious Nigger GNAA Mourns Passing of Litigious Nigger
Famed nigger icon Johnnie Cochran passed away today following an
extended and erotic bout with highly potent Gay Nigger AIDS. Reports
from his surviving harem of young black males indicate that Cochran
first received the holy seed last year at a secret ceremony in
Japan.
"Cochran was a willing recipient of my AIDS-infested manly output,"
said GNAA president Timecop, pausing from his breakfast of collard
greens and discarded shorts.
"I will always remember his shaft as being particularly wide and
penetrating," admitted famed African JiZZy to an uninterested Popeyes
phone operator, referring to a 2003 sweaty encounter with Johnnie in a
Kansas City shower. In IRC, elite nubian malaclypse lauded the
departed lawyer, stating "HE STOLE FROM THE JEWS AND GAVE TO THE POOR"
and then ejaculating all over his monitor. "That's the third time
this month," remarked resident sex-slave Grog, who eagerly lapped up
the spilled seed.
Special services for Cochran will be held in the official channel
of GNAA, #gnaa on irc.gnaa.us. Attendees are invited to
bring bottles of EROS brand lubricant and Macintosh computers for the
following festivities. Female creatures need not apply.
About Johnnie Cochran
Johnnie Cochran was born to a family of former slaves in 1937. Throughout
his youth he came into contact with many of GNAA's agents, who
successfully inculcated the values of trolling and homosexuality in his
fertile mind.
Cochran's trolling career started in 1995 with his successful
defeat of the odious female Marsha Clark in a Los Angeles courtroom.
Though America subsequently had a nice day, Cochran continued to be an
object of much masturbation and insertion among loyal gay niggers
everywhere.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy
all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member. GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing
GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of
America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join
today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAAFirst Post on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website.
Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up
today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit
links to your successful First Post, and you will be tested on
your knowledge of GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE.
If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network.
The correct network is NiggerNET, and you can connect
NEWSFLASH - Startling new information has been recieved this morning
regarding the 10-year "right to life" controversy once again thrust into the
public eye.
On the day President Bush signed the bill, dubbed as
"Terri's Law II" onto the federal books, advocates for the Schiavo family state
a startling discovery. Terri's parents, the Schindlers - no doubt covetous
jews, have announced their comatose daughter's intentions to support the
GNAA.
"We were at her bedside with a video camera, trying to put an end to all of
this, if we could just get her to make her intention to continue her hellish
brain-dead exiestence clear." said Schaivo's mother. "When we asked her if she
wanted to live, what she had to live for....we very disctinctly heard her
intentions." These soon to be released five minutes of video show a definate
picture of the woman's intentions as she repedately spastically shakes her head
and moans what experts say appears to be "G....NAA! G.....NAA!"
"This
is a very special day for our organization," GNAA representative and Golden
Goatse candidate Penisbird said. "In the midst of this national controversy,
it is now very clear that our organization has supporters with a visible
profile."
GNAA General Council are currently debating the potential ramifications of
this cry of support, and at this time it is unclear if Schiavo will be
considered as a candidate for membership - as she is quite clearly neither gay,
nor a nigger. "Our organization is generally not open to white devils, filthy
breeders, or female creatures - however, considering the high profile nature of
the individual and our well-known reputation for philantrophy, it is possible
we might make an exception allowing Schiavo to become a member, to fulfill her
dying wish," said GNAA representative KiSSy.
As of this time, no definate statement has been made regarding Schiavo's
future with the GNAA. However, it is rumored that her parents are now
diverting a yet-undisclosed sum of money to the GNAA's Nigerian bank accounts,
in accordance with their daughter's wishes.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy
all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member. GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing
GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of
America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join
today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAAFirst Post on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website.
Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up
today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit
links to your successful First Post, and you
NEWSFLASH - Startling new information has been recieved this morning
regarding the 10-year "right to life" controversy once again thrust into the
public eye.
On the day President Bush signed the bill, dubbed as
"Terri's Law II" onto the federal books, advocates for the Schiavo family state
a startling discovery. Terri's parents, the Schindlers - no doubt covetous
jews, have announced their comatose daughter's intentions to support the
GNAA.
"We were at her bedside with a video camera, trying to put an end to all of
this, if we could just get her to make her intention to continue her hellish
brain-dead exiestence clear." said Schaivo's mother. "When we asked her if she
wanted to live, what she had to live for....we very disctinctly heard her
intentions." These soon to be released five minutes of video show a definate
picture of the woman's intentions as she repedately spastically shakes her head
and moans what experts say appears to be "G....NAA! G.....NAA!"
"This
is a very special day for our organization," GNAA representative and Golden
Goatse candidate Penisbird said. "In the midst of this national controversy,
it is now very clear that our organization has supporters with a visible
profile."
GNAA General Council are currently debating the potential ramifications of
this cry of support, and at this time it is unclear if Schiavo will be
considered as a candidate for membership - as she is quite clearly neither gay,
nor a nigger. "Our organization is generally not open to white devils, filthy
breeders, or female creatures - however, considering the high profile nature of
the individual and our well-known reputation for philantrophy, it is possible
we might make an exception allowing Schiavo to become a member, to fulfill her
dying wish," said GNAA representative KiSSy.
As of this time, no definate statement has been made regarding Schiavo's
future with the GNAA. However, it is rumored that her parents are now
diverting a yet-undisclosed sum of money to the GNAA's Nigerian bank accounts,
in accordance with their daughter's wishes.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy
all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member. GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing
GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of
America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join
today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAAFirst Post on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website.
Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up
today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit
links to your successful First Post, and you
LastMeasure hits the 100000 watermark Zeikfried - Reuters, Nigeria
In a self congratulatory press conference described by one historical
analyst as to be "worth 10 Dresdens", the now world famous egalitarians of the
Gay Nigger Association of America announced to the worlds press that their
highly successful open source lastmeasure project has now reached over one
hundred thousand homes across the world.
Amidst a snowstorm of tickertape and parade like festivity, Penisbird, one
of the founders of the LastMeasure project, screeched triumphantly from his now
gold plated dong perch that the exponental growth of the sought after shock
site can only continue. And even those outside the GNAAs dark skinned sphere of
influence can only agree, in the face of the cutting edge "xangadot" marketing
techniques applied by GNAA LM sales reps Incog, Saturn, Trake, qat, and
Zeikfred Tuvai.
The sheer ferocity of the xangadot effect has caught many by surprise, none
more so than xanga spokesperson AzN_ThuG_08, who was quoted as saying
"MUTHAFUCKA TAKE DOWN MAH SITE...BITCH IM LETTIN U...FUCK DIS SITE AND FUCK U
TOO. I CAN MAKE A NEW ONE I GOT THA TIME u stupid muthafucka" before driving
his nitroglycerin laced riced up honda into GNAA Headquarters in a suicidal and
dastardly attempt to decapitate the GNAA leadership. Thankfully the 140 decibel
exhaust of the now vapourised vehicle allowed the surrounding buildings to be
evacuated several minutes before the atrocity took place.
Speaking from his converted 1970's brothel, overpaid financial analyst Gary
Niger told Reuters, "The effects of what has been dubbed the 'Open Source Final
Solution' can be felt in almost every area of digital society. A striking
example of this would be the once worthless.info TLD being re-energised with a
huge cash and semen injection from the GNAA LastMeasure project, punctuated by
Netcrafts recent confirmation that the GNAA has now gained a massive
controlling stake in.info over the course of the past 2 months".
Can this momentum continue? Or has LastMeasure reached its unsurpassable
xenith, with the only way left down? GNAA President timecop refused to comment,
instead choosing to bathe naked in a pool of Yen laughing insanely. The
future seems bright.
About LastMeasure:
A primitive version of LastMeasure was concieved by Penisbird of the GNAA
after playing with an AIM utility named AIM Invader. It offered Penisbird a
myriad of ways to crash AIM clients. By far the most powerful crash was the
"last measure" crash, which would inundate an AIM client with file transfer
requests, buddy list sends, messages full of smileys and colors, until the AIM
client crashed due to lack of RAM.
The LastMeasure site originally consisted of Penisbird, Goatse, Tubgirl,
Lemonparty, and Shitfaced Lady. But has expanded to include many other of the
internets treasured icons. And with the addition of StatsMeasure, the clipboard
data of thousands of unwitting victims has now been exposed for the world to
see.
For more information about LastMeasure, visit the official website,
LastMeasure.com
LastMeasure is licensed under the BSD Version 2 License.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy
all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA m
MISSOULA, MT (PAN-AMERICAN NEWS SERVICES) - In the ongoing conflict between
reason and primitive superstition, God was exiled from the Internet when a
combined team of GNAA and ANUS freedom fighters forced Christian scribes to
deny His existence by removing His name.
Starting early Thursday morning, insurgents in traditional Muslim garb
assaulted the Christian Internet meme-domination fortress wikichristian.com, interrupting a peaceful
day of infighting over the exact implications of indefinite religious
terminology. After thirty-six hours of combat, Christian forces withdrew,
leaving behind a battlefield of ruined scripts and banned IP addresses.
"With God as my witness, I am taking down the site so we may endure this
demonic assault," said Bruce Pederasdt, God's ordained champion in the "open
source" movement, which believes the soul of a homeless retarded crack addict
is equal to all others and thus if sycophantic enough, can become a "valued
contributor" to a vital project like porting LaTEX to the iPod.
Wearing tennis shoes, and armed only with AK-47s and Compaq laptops, the
rebel forces battled the highly mechanized Christian army until victory. "The
crusader-god has fallen before Allah (PBUH)," said GNAA commandant Penisbird,
sitting on a pink prayer matt before a captured statue of Crusaders burning
books and heretics. He fired a shot to the heavens, coating himself in the
sticky white substance that emerged from the rifle barrel.
Pederasdt refused to concede defeat, saying, "The God of Israel is a mighty
god, and he will repress these black, gay and probably Muslim infidels so his
Order may conquer the chaotic and sinful Internet. The Lord is my rod, and my
staff,...and my rod..." Investigators from Child Protective Services were at
Pederasdt's Missoula compound to ascertain the status of the nubile young boy
who at this point walked naked from behind a large curtain. The site remains
down at the time of this writing.
"God told us to," GNAA-ANUS technology officer Cynical said simply. He
added: "Rip the sacred flesh - Sodomize the holy asshole - The king of Jews is
dead - and so are the lies - Vomit on the host of Heaven - Masturbate on the
throne of God." A passing herd of nuns passed out in shock, their habits
flipping upward to reveal large, black strap-ons.
CNN embedded reporter Phil MacOlon reported seeing columns of smoke rising
from the back entrance to the server farm where wikichristian.com is hosted, but it was
determined to be GNAA spokestroll g0sp-hell lighting up a suspiciously pungent
cigarette. "God crashed like a Macintosh running Linux, in a rainbow of
failure," he said. "Install reality, problem solved."
The ongoing war between reason and superstition originated in a surprise
1996 attack by ANUS suicide mailbomers on the then-new Vatican web site,
knocking it out of commission until additional funding could be found.
Recently, the war has heated up with insurgents from GNAA seizing Internet Holy
Writ WikiPedia.org, where the Jewish god was
linked to usury, niggardliness and unrelenting whining.
When news of the attack reached Washington, the United States immediately
declared war on Germany, claiming that as it was allied with both GNAA and
ANUS, it constituted an "axis of evil" which "threatens our freedom." At the
time of this writing, bombers were headed toward strategic targets in Dresden,
Germany, known as "the day care center of Europe" for its high population
of inflammable women and children.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
The Gay Nigger Incestual Average rose fifteen points today in a sudden
upswing Wall Street investors are crediting to GNAA-ANUS's unveiling of what's
to come in the new year.
Development has continued on what is perhaps GNAA's best-known product, the
popular Internet application Lastmeasure. New features and functionality will
help to ensure that users will be able to enjoy Lastmeasure, even with the most
modern of browsers.
Gay Nigger musos eagerly await the release of YHBT, the upcomming GNAA album
that promises to be the new standard in trolling music. The album will include
cuts such as the Ripper-inspired "S~H~O~A" and the stirring ballad,
"Zionist Oppressors and You".
Perhaps the most impressive of the new products is known only as the
"Drilldo."
Described by GNAA president timecop as "Six barrels of sixteen-inch
niggercock fury", the device is mounted on a small set of tank treads -
mobility technology licensed from the US Army robotics program.
"We've found the Drilldo to be effective in a number of uses," said GNAA
researcher Turkback. "Both Goatse and Mr. Hands were found to be adequately
fulfilled. Our special Ass-Sabot rounds are designed to directly pentrate deep
into the rectal core."
GNAA researchers expect to see battlefield testing of the Drilldo as early
as Febuary, with insertion into OSDN headquarters. Military experts are
predicting these real-world tests to go "catastrophically erotic."
GNAA has also announced plans to sponsor a Bug Chasing team in 2005,
supporting the Montrose Area Chasing Team in their goal to infect themselves
with as many different strains of AIDS as possible.
The Montrose team has generally lost to bigger cities such as San Francisco
and New York, but have high hopes for taking the lead in 2005 with their new
GNAA backing. "With GNAA behind us, we'll be able to achieve our goal by
engaging in reckless cocaine use and unprotected anal sex with anonymous
partners in bookstore bathrooms," said an unnamed representative of the
Montrose team.
In other news, The spiritual leader of the ANUS collective, Prozak/gasjews,
announced Friday that he would be leading his team of Neitzchian uber-trolls on
a quest to find the Holy Asshole. No word has yet been recieved on his
progress, as immediately after this announcement the leader climbed to the top
of Mount St. Helens in Washington State.
"He's been up there for days," stated ANUS operative Iconoclast. "We can't
really make out what he's yelling from up there, but we think it's something
about 'infinite return'. He's probably not comming down until he manages to
set the damn thing off."
Authorities say that no resolution has been reached, but that regular
shipments of burritos, ammunition and weapons-grade marajuana continue to be
brought to the peak of the volcano.
About GNAA: GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy
all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member. GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing
GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of
America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join
today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Michael Sims Fired, Joins GNAA to Troll Slashdot Full Time
FREMONT, CA (TECHNEWS) - After a heated debate at Slashdot executive
offices, editor Michael Sims was locked out of the building and departed in a
tirade of lisping insults, vowing revenge immediately. This morning, industry
sources revealed that Sims has joined the infamous trolling organization Gay
Nigger Association of America with the intent of trolling Slashdot
fulltime.
In a short phone interview with Technews, Sims asserted that he was calm but
resolved on his course of action. "The Slashdot editors and I had a
disagreement," he explained. "I did it all for the users, but they..." he drew
the syllable out painfully, resting on a case full of Little League trophies
and certificates of participation from transgendered dating services, "They
just couldn't take my truth. They were -- babies, just babies, oh, the horror,
the abomination," he said, before being led away by three white-clad male
nurses.
According to Harvard Psychology Professor Arnold Rothstahlberg, "trolling"
is an internet phenomenon where dissenting users disrupt a site by flooding it
with absurd or paradoxical information. "It satisfies the primal id," he
said, chewing on a large, bulbous, phallic black cigar. "To justify themselves
by forcing their enemies into hysterics. It's a compensatory mechanism much
like getting back at the kids who beat you up in high school by installing
Linux and using it to pingflood their XP boxes and Macs."
Slashdot editor CmdrTaco was reticent to comment. At an interview conducted
in the crap-filled Ann Arbor bungalow he shares with his wife, to whom he
proposed over Slashdot, he said, "Well, you know, Slashdot is just a web site.
Michael should calm down about this. But if he doesn't, our corporate sponsors
will sue him until he's giving $4 blowjobs on Haight Street."
From the GNAA corporate headquarters, a mysterious floating island off the
coast of Newfoundland that few reporters have seen and even fewer have returned
from with their sexual identities intact, GNAA "Head Programmer" timecop said
he was glad to have Sims on hand. "From what I've seen of his postings on
Slashdot," said timecop, "he's a total fag. Which is convenient as all our
halfops need anal, and I can't handle the drama. That's what's worst about the
net: the drama."
Sims has been involved in previous internet firefights, most notably the
controversy over the censorware.org website in 2001. While Sims alleges that
the site was his creation that was sabotaged by others, his coworkers disagree.
Bennett Haselton, security consultant for the "Anarchy Anal" and "Chaos
Cumshot" websites, said of Sims, "We set up this website, and left him the
password. We have a disagreement, bam, the website goes down and someone raped
my two-week-old Labrador puppy with an iPod."
Slashdot Editor CowboyNeal, who was entangled in a whale net after
attempting to swim the English channel, spoke fondly of his former coworker.
"Michael always brought a certain passion to the work, a passion that was
easily ignited and led to many sweaty sessions in the corporate washroom," he
said. "I'm not at all surprised he joined an organization of gay niggers. He
always like something different and unique in his pasta salads."
Programmer Seth Finkelstein alleges that Sims is "totally unstable" and
agreed readily to this interview. "Of course, I'm a disinterested observer," he
said. "But anytime I see that closet psychopath and monkey nut-muncher stealing
the spotlight from hardworking programmers like myself, I have to speak up, for
the benefit of the people, of course," he said. Technews reporters were
permitted to leave the premises only after making a PayPal donation to
Finkelstein.
Mike Godwin of the EFF, who balances a career as privacy advocate with his
hobby of making videos of teen swingers blowing goats, agreed. "I've never met
another editor like Michael," he said. "And, since my regimen of retrovirals is
already costing me
Slashdot Mirror
London, England -- GNAA's UK division has reported that five unnamed jews who abused LastMeasure links at their school in a total failure of a fashion were today taken away for interrogation by the government's National High Tech Crime Unit. The accused created shitty batch files in a rucas-esque attempt to flood the schools' computer systems with LastMeasure URL's.
After a filled computer class was exposed to LastMeasure for more than five minutes, a N.H.T.C.U. team raided the computer lab and abducted the culprits. One managed to escape the clutches of the government after being taken to a detention centre and fled to the GNAA UK headquarters in London. According to an interview with the escapee, they were taken away to an unknown location and locked in a cell. One by one, they were taken and tortured for hours on end with spiky anal dildos and analpears. Heading up the torture was none other then the notorious Kirk Johnson, also known by his nickname "The Goatse Man".
"It was absolutely horrible! My asshole is now ruined for life. The things they were doing to us were unhuman. All the while, we were forced to hear a looping MP3 of Mr Johnson repeating 'I am the Goatse Man, I stretch ass like no-one can' over and over. I will never be able to sleep soundly again. These people are monsters!"
We were then informed that the remaining prisoners were to be flown to Iraq for beheading, Kenneth Bigley style.
This news has shocked the GNAA community. Many were in disbelief that LastMeasure had any child porn what so ever. According to our inside nigger agent in the N.H.T.C.U. the image file "eww.jpg" was found to be of a "paedophilic" nature. dcom of the GNAA's UK branch was found saying "wtf, thats child porn? I masturbate to that picture evey day and I'm no paedophile!" We believe this to be an unjust attack against the GNAA's premiere software product, and yet another attempt by the Zionists rooted deep within the British Government to destroy the world's greatest trolling organisation.
We will not waive on our stance that LastMeasure is 100% legal. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight on the Internets, we shall fight on 4chan and on Slashdot, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength with our next-generation trolling applications, we shall defend LastMeasure, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on IRC, we shall fight on the telephone conferences, we shall fight in the schools and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender.
About LastMeasure:
A primitive version of LastMeasure was concieved by Penisbird of the GNAA after playing with an AIM utility named AIM Invader. It offered Penisbird a myriad of ways to crash AIM clients. By far the most powerful crash was the "last measure" crash, which would inundate an AIM client with file transfer requests, buddy list sends, messages full of smileys and colors, until the AIM client crashed due to lack of RAM.
The LastMeasure site originally consisted of Penisbird, Goatse, Tubgirl, Lemonparty, and Shitfaced Lady. But has expanded to include many other of the internets treasured icons. And with the addition of StatsMeasure, the clipboard data of thousands of unwitting victims has now been exposed for the world to see.
For more information about LastMeasure, visit the official website, LastMeasure.com
LastMeasure is licensed under the BSD Version 2 License.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you ans
lol at #buttes huhuhuhuhu
GNAA Mourns Passing of Litigious Nigger
Famed nigger icon Johnnie Cochran passed away today following an extended and erotic bout with highly potent Gay Nigger AIDS. Reports from his surviving harem of young black males indicate that Cochran first received the holy seed last year at a secret ceremony in Japan.
"Cochran was a willing recipient of my AIDS-infested manly output," said GNAA president Timecop, pausing from his breakfast of collard greens and discarded shorts.
"I will always remember his shaft as being particularly wide and penetrating," admitted famed African JiZZy to an uninterested Popeyes phone operator, referring to a 2003 sweaty encounter with Johnnie in a Kansas City shower. In IRC, elite nubian malaclypse lauded the departed lawyer, stating "HE STOLE FROM THE JEWS AND GAVE TO THE POOR" and then ejaculating all over his monitor. "That's the third time this month," remarked resident sex-slave Grog, who eagerly lapped up the spilled seed.
Special services for Cochran will be held in the official channel of GNAA, #gnaa on irc.gnaa.us. Attendees are invited to bring bottles of EROS brand lubricant and Macintosh computers for the following festivities. Female creatures need not apply.
About Johnnie Cochran
Johnnie Cochran was born to a family of former slaves in 1937. Throughout his youth he came into contact with many of GNAA's agents, who successfully inculcated the values of trolling and homosexuality in his fertile mind.
Cochran's trolling career started in 1995 with his successful defeat of the odious female Marsha Clark in a Los Angeles courtroom. Though America subsequently had a nice day, Cochran continued to be an object of much masturbation and insertion among loyal gay niggers everywhere.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful First Post, and you will be tested on your knowledge of GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE.
If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is NiggerNET, and you can connect
NEWSFLASH - Startling new information has been recieved this morning regarding the 10-year "right to life" controversy once again thrust into the public eye.
On the day President Bush signed the bill, dubbed as "Terri's Law II" onto the federal books, advocates for the Schiavo family state a startling discovery. Terri's parents, the Schindlers - no doubt covetous jews, have announced their comatose daughter's intentions to support the GNAA.
"We were at her bedside with a video camera, trying to put an end to all of this, if we could just get her to make her intention to continue her hellish brain-dead exiestence clear." said Schaivo's mother. "When we asked her if she wanted to live, what she had to live for....we very disctinctly heard her intentions." These soon to be released five minutes of video show a definate picture of the woman's intentions as she repedately spastically shakes her head and moans what experts say appears to be "G....NAA! G.....NAA!"
"This is a very special day for our organization," GNAA representative and Golden Goatse candidate Penisbird said. "In the midst of this national controversy, it is now very clear that our organization has supporters with a visible profile."
GNAA General Council are currently debating the potential ramifications of this cry of support, and at this time it is unclear if Schiavo will be considered as a candidate for membership - as she is quite clearly neither gay, nor a nigger. "Our organization is generally not open to white devils, filthy breeders, or female creatures - however, considering the high profile nature of the individual and our well-known reputation for philantrophy, it is possible we might make an exception allowing Schiavo to become a member, to fulfill her dying wish," said GNAA representative KiSSy.
As of this time, no definate statement has been made regarding Schiavo's future with the GNAA. However, it is rumored that her parents are now diverting a yet-undisclosed sum of money to the GNAA's Nigerian bank accounts, in accordance with their daughter's wishes.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful First Post, and you
NEWSFLASH - Startling new information has been recieved this morning regarding the 10-year "right to life" controversy once again thrust into the public eye.
On the day President Bush signed the bill, dubbed as "Terri's Law II" onto the federal books, advocates for the Schiavo family state a startling discovery. Terri's parents, the Schindlers - no doubt covetous jews, have announced their comatose daughter's intentions to support the GNAA.
"We were at her bedside with a video camera, trying to put an end to all of this, if we could just get her to make her intention to continue her hellish brain-dead exiestence clear." said Schaivo's mother. "When we asked her if she wanted to live, what she had to live for....we very disctinctly heard her intentions." These soon to be released five minutes of video show a definate picture of the woman's intentions as she repedately spastically shakes her head and moans what experts say appears to be "G....NAA! G.....NAA!"
"This is a very special day for our organization," GNAA representative and Golden Goatse candidate Penisbird said. "In the midst of this national controversy, it is now very clear that our organization has supporters with a visible profile."
GNAA General Council are currently debating the potential ramifications of this cry of support, and at this time it is unclear if Schiavo will be considered as a candidate for membership - as she is quite clearly neither gay, nor a nigger. "Our organization is generally not open to white devils, filthy breeders, or female creatures - however, considering the high profile nature of the individual and our well-known reputation for philantrophy, it is possible we might make an exception allowing Schiavo to become a member, to fulfill her dying wish," said GNAA representative KiSSy.
As of this time, no definate statement has been made regarding Schiavo's future with the GNAA. However, it is rumored that her parents are now diverting a yet-undisclosed sum of money to the GNAA's Nigerian bank accounts, in accordance with their daughter's wishes.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful First Post, and you
Zeikfried - Reuters, Nigeria
In a self congratulatory press conference described by one historical analyst as to be "worth 10 Dresdens", the now world famous egalitarians of the Gay Nigger Association of America announced to the worlds press that their highly successful open source lastmeasure project has now reached over one hundred thousand homes across the world.
Amidst a snowstorm of tickertape and parade like festivity, Penisbird, one of the founders of the LastMeasure project, screeched triumphantly from his now gold plated dong perch that the exponental growth of the sought after shock site can only continue. And even those outside the GNAAs dark skinned sphere of influence can only agree, in the face of the cutting edge "xangadot" marketing techniques applied by GNAA LM sales reps Incog, Saturn, Trake, qat, and Zeikfred Tuvai.
The sheer ferocity of the xangadot effect has caught many by surprise, none more so than xanga spokesperson AzN_ThuG_08, who was quoted as saying "MUTHAFUCKA TAKE DOWN MAH SITE...BITCH IM LETTIN U...FUCK DIS SITE AND FUCK U TOO. I CAN MAKE A NEW ONE I GOT THA TIME u stupid muthafucka" before driving his nitroglycerin laced riced up honda into GNAA Headquarters in a suicidal and dastardly attempt to decapitate the GNAA leadership. Thankfully the 140 decibel exhaust of the now vapourised vehicle allowed the surrounding buildings to be evacuated several minutes before the atrocity took place.
Speaking from his converted 1970's brothel, overpaid financial analyst Gary Niger told Reuters, "The effects of what has been dubbed the 'Open Source Final Solution' can be felt in almost every area of digital society. A striking example of this would be the once worthless .info TLD being re-energised with a
huge cash and semen injection from the GNAA LastMeasure project, punctuated by
Netcrafts recent confirmation that the GNAA has now gained a massive
controlling stake in .info over the course of the past 2 months".
Can this momentum continue? Or has LastMeasure reached its unsurpassable xenith, with the only way left down? GNAA President timecop refused to comment, instead choosing to bathe naked in a pool of Yen laughing insanely. The future seems bright.
About LastMeasure:
A primitive version of LastMeasure was concieved by Penisbird of the GNAA after playing with an AIM utility named AIM Invader. It offered Penisbird a myriad of ways to crash AIM clients. By far the most powerful crash was the "last measure" crash, which would inundate an AIM client with file transfer requests, buddy list sends, messages full of smileys and colors, until the AIM client crashed due to lack of RAM.
The LastMeasure site originally consisted of Penisbird, Goatse, Tubgirl, Lemonparty, and Shitfaced Lady. But has expanded to include many other of the internets treasured icons. And with the addition of StatsMeasure, the clipboard data of thousands of unwitting victims has now been exposed for the world to see.
For more information about LastMeasure, visit the official website, LastMeasure.com
LastMeasure is licensed under the BSD Version 2 License.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA m
MISSOULA, MT (PAN-AMERICAN NEWS SERVICES) - In the ongoing conflict between reason and primitive superstition, God was exiled from the Internet when a combined team of GNAA and ANUS freedom fighters forced Christian scribes to deny His existence by removing His name.
Starting early Thursday morning, insurgents in traditional Muslim garb assaulted the Christian Internet meme-domination fortress wikichristian.com, interrupting a peaceful day of infighting over the exact implications of indefinite religious terminology. After thirty-six hours of combat, Christian forces withdrew, leaving behind a battlefield of ruined scripts and banned IP addresses.
"With God as my witness, I am taking down the site so we may endure this demonic assault," said Bruce Pederasdt, God's ordained champion in the "open source" movement, which believes the soul of a homeless retarded crack addict is equal to all others and thus if sycophantic enough, can become a "valued contributor" to a vital project like porting LaTEX to the iPod.
Wearing tennis shoes, and armed only with AK-47s and Compaq laptops, the rebel forces battled the highly mechanized Christian army until victory. "The crusader-god has fallen before Allah (PBUH)," said GNAA commandant Penisbird, sitting on a pink prayer matt before a captured statue of Crusaders burning books and heretics. He fired a shot to the heavens, coating himself in the sticky white substance that emerged from the rifle barrel.
Pederasdt refused to concede defeat, saying, "The God of Israel is a mighty god, and he will repress these black, gay and probably Muslim infidels so his Order may conquer the chaotic and sinful Internet. The Lord is my rod, and my staff, ...and my rod..." Investigators from Child Protective Services were at
Pederasdt's Missoula compound to ascertain the status of the nubile young boy
who at this point walked naked from behind a large curtain. The site remains
down at the time of this writing.
"God told us to," GNAA-ANUS technology officer Cynical said simply. He added: "Rip the sacred flesh - Sodomize the holy asshole - The king of Jews is dead - and so are the lies - Vomit on the host of Heaven - Masturbate on the throne of God." A passing herd of nuns passed out in shock, their habits flipping upward to reveal large, black strap-ons.
CNN embedded reporter Phil MacOlon reported seeing columns of smoke rising from the back entrance to the server farm where wikichristian.com is hosted, but it was determined to be GNAA spokestroll g0sp-hell lighting up a suspiciously pungent cigarette. "God crashed like a Macintosh running Linux, in a rainbow of failure," he said. "Install reality, problem solved."
The ongoing war between reason and superstition originated in a surprise 1996 attack by ANUS suicide mailbomers on the then-new Vatican web site, knocking it out of commission until additional funding could be found. Recently, the war has heated up with insurgents from GNAA seizing Internet Holy Writ WikiPedia.org, where the Jewish god was linked to usury, niggardliness and unrelenting whining.
When news of the attack reached Washington, the United States immediately declared war on Germany, claiming that as it was allied with both GNAA and ANUS, it constituted an "axis of evil" which "threatens our freedom." At the time of this writing, bombers were headed toward strategic targets in Dresden, Germany, known as "the day care center of Europe" for its high population of inflammable women and children.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a
The Gay Nigger Incestual Average rose fifteen points today in a sudden upswing Wall Street investors are crediting to GNAA-ANUS's unveiling of what's to come in the new year.
Development has continued on what is perhaps GNAA's best-known product, the popular Internet application Lastmeasure. New features and functionality will help to ensure that users will be able to enjoy Lastmeasure, even with the most modern of browsers.
Gay Nigger musos eagerly await the release of YHBT, the upcomming GNAA album that promises to be the new standard in trolling music. The album will include cuts such as the Ripper-inspired "S~H~O~A" and the stirring ballad, "Zionist Oppressors and You".
Perhaps the most impressive of the new products is known only as the "Drilldo."
Described by GNAA president timecop as "Six barrels of sixteen-inch niggercock fury", the device is mounted on a small set of tank treads - mobility technology licensed from the US Army robotics program.
"We've found the Drilldo to be effective in a number of uses," said GNAA researcher Turkback. "Both Goatse and Mr. Hands were found to be adequately fulfilled. Our special Ass-Sabot rounds are designed to directly pentrate deep into the rectal core."
GNAA researchers expect to see battlefield testing of the Drilldo as early as Febuary, with insertion into OSDN headquarters. Military experts are predicting these real-world tests to go "catastrophically erotic."
GNAA has also announced plans to sponsor a Bug Chasing team in 2005, supporting the Montrose Area Chasing Team in their goal to infect themselves with as many different strains of AIDS as possible.
The Montrose team has generally lost to bigger cities such as San Francisco and New York, but have high hopes for taking the lead in 2005 with their new GNAA backing. "With GNAA behind us, we'll be able to achieve our goal by engaging in reckless cocaine use and unprotected anal sex with anonymous partners in bookstore bathrooms," said an unnamed representative of the Montrose team.
In other news, The spiritual leader of the ANUS collective, Prozak/gasjews, announced Friday that he would be leading his team of Neitzchian uber-trolls on a quest to find the Holy Asshole. No word has yet been recieved on his progress, as immediately after this announcement the leader climbed to the top of Mount St. Helens in Washington State.
"He's been up there for days," stated ANUS operative Iconoclast. "We can't really make out what he's yelling from up there, but we think it's something about 'infinite return'. He's probably not comming down until he manages to set the damn thing off."
Authorities say that no resolution has been reached, but that regular shipments of burritos, ammunition and weapons-grade marajuana continue to be brought to the peak of the volcano.
About GNAA:
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
FREMONT, CA (TECHNEWS) - After a heated debate at Slashdot executive offices, editor Michael Sims was locked out of the building and departed in a tirade of lisping insults, vowing revenge immediately. This morning, industry sources revealed that Sims has joined the infamous trolling organization Gay Nigger Association of America with the intent of trolling Slashdot fulltime.
In a short phone interview with Technews, Sims asserted that he was calm but resolved on his course of action. "The Slashdot editors and I had a disagreement," he explained. "I did it all for the users, but they..." he drew the syllable out painfully, resting on a case full of Little League trophies and certificates of participation from transgendered dating services, "They just couldn't take my truth. They were -- babies, just babies, oh, the horror, the abomination," he said, before being led away by three white-clad male nurses.
According to Harvard Psychology Professor Arnold Rothstahlberg, "trolling" is an internet phenomenon where dissenting users disrupt a site by flooding it with absurd or paradoxical information. "It satisfies the primal id," he said, chewing on a large, bulbous, phallic black cigar. "To justify themselves by forcing their enemies into hysterics. It's a compensatory mechanism much like getting back at the kids who beat you up in high school by installing Linux and using it to pingflood their XP boxes and Macs."
Slashdot editor CmdrTaco was reticent to comment. At an interview conducted in the crap-filled Ann Arbor bungalow he shares with his wife, to whom he proposed over Slashdot, he said, "Well, you know, Slashdot is just a web site. Michael should calm down about this. But if he doesn't, our corporate sponsors will sue him until he's giving $4 blowjobs on Haight Street."
From the GNAA corporate headquarters, a mysterious floating island off the coast of Newfoundland that few reporters have seen and even fewer have returned from with their sexual identities intact, GNAA "Head Programmer" timecop said he was glad to have Sims on hand. "From what I've seen of his postings on Slashdot," said timecop, "he's a total fag. Which is convenient as all our halfops need anal, and I can't handle the drama. That's what's worst about the net: the drama."
Sims has been involved in previous internet firefights, most notably the controversy over the censorware.org website in 2001. While Sims alleges that the site was his creation that was sabotaged by others, his coworkers disagree. Bennett Haselton, security consultant for the "Anarchy Anal" and "Chaos Cumshot" websites, said of Sims, "We set up this website, and left him the password. We have a disagreement, bam, the website goes down and someone raped my two-week-old Labrador puppy with an iPod."
Slashdot Editor CowboyNeal, who was entangled in a whale net after attempting to swim the English channel, spoke fondly of his former coworker. "Michael always brought a certain passion to the work, a passion that was easily ignited and led to many sweaty sessions in the corporate washroom," he said. "I'm not at all surprised he joined an organization of gay niggers. He always like something different and unique in his pasta salads."
Programmer Seth Finkelstein alleges that Sims is "totally unstable" and agreed readily to this interview. "Of course, I'm a disinterested observer," he said. "But anytime I see that closet psychopath and monkey nut-muncher stealing the spotlight from hardworking programmers like myself, I have to speak up, for the benefit of the people, of course," he said. Technews reporters were permitted to leave the premises only after making a PayPal donation to Finkelstein.
Mike Godwin of the EFF, who balances a career as privacy advocate with his hobby of making videos of teen swingers blowing goats, agreed. "I've never met another editor like Michael," he said. "And, since my regimen of retrovirals is already costing me