GNAA declares boycott of all foods that make sperm taste bad GNAA declares boycott of all foods that make sperm taste bad
Washington, District of Columbia (USNS) - Gathered on the steps of the
Justice Department, gay niggers worldwide announced their most ambitious ploy
for political power to date, a boycott of all foods that make semen taste
awful. GNAA president timecop led the rally with a pink megaphone, shouting
over the noise of riot cops assembling in case the peaceful assembly turned
violent.
"My friends," he lisped at the top of his lungs. "As America's - no, the
world's - foremost consumers of sperm and without a doubt its greatest enjoyers
and advocates, we plead - no, we demand - that these prostate poisons be
eliminated from the modern diet." Around him, a surging throng of foamy
devotees showed their approval with a shower of bodily fluids.
According to timecop, numerous studies prove that gay volunteers not only
found that tobacco left a lingering moldy taste in semen, but that such
commonplace items as coffee and multivitamin pills could make semen taste muddy
and like insecticide, respectively. "These are intolerant, I mean, intolerable
substances," timecop spluttered.
GNAA member DiKKy, on loan from NATO class dunce Norway, as if on cue dumped
a 55 gallon drum of whipped semen into the Justice Department's Martin Luther
King, Jr. meditative koi pond. As carp drowned in the sticky mucosal fluid,
DiKKy took the microphone from a timecop overcome by emotion at the sacrifice
of so much precious gay nigger seed. "Gummy bears make it taste like rubber
cement - no, that's not a pun. And salmon, of course," said DiKKy, "which makes
it taste oily. Oh, and here's a big no-no: asparagus. Yucky."
United Asparagus Growers President Ralph Gruntligel was interviewed by CBS'
"60 Minutes," which, in trying to downplay its recent scandal over forging
records to replace the lost forged records of a famous politician, has changed
focus to such cutting edge topics as sitting room makeovers and loose candle
wax.
"While we support every group who wishes to consume asparagus, and do not
discriminate on the basis of age, sex, race, gender, sexual orientation,
bondage role, condom use, ethnicity or major league baseball fan
identification," Gruntligel said from a leather sofa in his Greenwich Village
headquarters, "to indict a source of income for roughly one in 65,536 Americans
that is ranked fifty-fourth among the world's most valuable vegetables, is not
only a crime against asparagus, but a terrorist action against one of nature's
most perfect foods and an important source of revenue for government and
industry."
Back at the rally, timecop sniffed in response. "Like his ugly fat bitch of
a wife will ever give him this kind of head," he said, demonstrating on Morgan
Freeman, who happened to be passing on his way to testify before a Senate
committee on racial discrimination in the color of fingernail clippers. "Desist
-- cease, I say!" began Freeman, but then, in his characteristic basso
profundo, began moaning rhythmically to the motion of gay nigger tongues.
Semen, the technical name for the fluid of male sexual emission which occurs
at ejaculation, has a generally salty or sweet taste, depending on what the
person responsible has consumed since his last ejaculation, said Dr. Ben
Rodriguez-Silverstein. "It's entirely possible that these foods make semen
taste disgusting," he said. "But unfortunately, most of them are necessary for
survival."
He was immediately mobbed by gay niggers wielding placards reading "READ MY
LIPS: NO RANCID SEMEN."
Contacted via phone, Robert Liebovitz, lead counsel for the Association of
Confection Producers, said, "Can I get AIDS from this?"
Rodriguez-Silverstein, who was later spotted receiving $250,000 in small
denomination bills smeared with a sticky, mushroom-smelling substance,
announced that his lab was conducting independent tests using AOL Afghanistan
employees to sample semen from every eth
GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus. GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus. By Horatio Brunswick
New York, NY - GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America) The GNAA
today claimed responsibility for the release of the devastating trojan
Momfuck.1o1, which has caused an estimated 486 billion dollars US in lost
productivity and unread penis enlargement offers.
In a drastic escalation of their widely criticized christmas island bombing
campaign which has killed thousands of defenceless CI natives, the GNAA made
vague threats last week in a "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for
trolls" website. In the post (not published here due to profanity and ascii
nudity) the GNAA threatened the "Destruction of all internet" if net martyr
http://www.goatse.cx was not immediately reinstated. Initally dismissed by self
proclaimed security experts Cowboykneel and Linux Toreballs as a childish lark,
the world was totally unprepared for the storm to come.
Momfuck.lol exploits three vulnerabilities within Linux's UPnP
implementation: a remotely exploitable buffer overflow that allows an attacker
gain SYSTEM level access to any default installation of Linux, a Denial of
Service (DoS) attack, and a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack. Within
hours of release, every backbone in the country had become infected with the
virus, bringing the internet to a crashing halt. The DHS announced an orange
alert when the virus spread to even such such remote non-countries as Canada
and England, becomming a worldwide computer epidemic. The sequence of events
that followed was devastating. ATMs in several states began routing funds from
caucasian bank accounts into a GNAA controlled cayman islands account. Traffic
lights in all major metropolitan areas malfunctioned, displaying pink rather
than the standard red yellow and green configuration, causing unprecedented
accidents and traffic delays. Radio stations ceased transmitting their standard
programming and began a round the clock broadcast of a bootleg of the Village
People's "YMCA" which was altered to "GNAA." Perhaps most horrifyingly, The FOX
network's LOL sunday programming lineup was interrupted, and replaced by a
graphic video of two men having anal sex, backed by the lyrics "Boom I got your
boyfriend".
The FBI has fallen under heavy criticism for their failure to respond to the
threat of the GNAA. The general public seems uwilling to accept their claims
that the post was below their current threshold. The FBI's top cyber-security
unit warned consumers and corporations Friday night to take new steps beyond
those recommended by SCO Corp. to protect against hackers who might try to
attack major flaws discovered in the newest version of Linux software, or to
get a life, faggots. FBI Department head John Asscrotch is expected to resign
in disgrace shortly.
What follows is a transcript of an actual internet relay chat conversation,
with two individuals who seem to have been infected by momfuck.lol. It is my
hope that this will help computer users to recognize and avoid the virus if
encountered.
* Now talking in #eurotekken * Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c' * Set by SirCane on Tue Apr 06 15:57:26
<l0de> "Mom, I can't sleep would you mind if I get in bed with you?
<l0de> I have virus!
<l0de> She was wearing a baby doll semi-see through nightie, and was embarrassed to let me in bed with her.
<subt-L> haha.. this is a fucking crazy virus..
<l0de> I can't type this fast!
<l0de> However she remembered how I had let her sleep with me when she needed to.
<l0de> Oh my god.
<l0de> "Sure John, it's a big bed," she said in an uncertain tone.
<l0de> "Mom, would you mind if I snuggle a little with you.
<l0de> I just feel kind o
Slashdot Mirror
GNAA declares boycott of all foods that make sperm taste bad
Washington, District of Columbia (USNS) - Gathered on the steps of the Justice Department, gay niggers worldwide announced their most ambitious ploy for political power to date, a boycott of all foods that make semen taste awful. GNAA president timecop led the rally with a pink megaphone, shouting over the noise of riot cops assembling in case the peaceful assembly turned violent.
"My friends," he lisped at the top of his lungs. "As America's - no, the world's - foremost consumers of sperm and without a doubt its greatest enjoyers and advocates, we plead - no, we demand - that these prostate poisons be eliminated from the modern diet." Around him, a surging throng of foamy devotees showed their approval with a shower of bodily fluids.
According to timecop, numerous studies prove that gay volunteers not only found that tobacco left a lingering moldy taste in semen, but that such commonplace items as coffee and multivitamin pills could make semen taste muddy and like insecticide, respectively. "These are intolerant, I mean, intolerable substances," timecop spluttered.
GNAA member DiKKy, on loan from NATO class dunce Norway, as if on cue dumped a 55 gallon drum of whipped semen into the Justice Department's Martin Luther King, Jr. meditative koi pond. As carp drowned in the sticky mucosal fluid, DiKKy took the microphone from a timecop overcome by emotion at the sacrifice of so much precious gay nigger seed. "Gummy bears make it taste like rubber cement - no, that's not a pun. And salmon, of course," said DiKKy, "which makes it taste oily. Oh, and here's a big no-no: asparagus. Yucky."
United Asparagus Growers President Ralph Gruntligel was interviewed by CBS' "60 Minutes," which, in trying to downplay its recent scandal over forging records to replace the lost forged records of a famous politician, has changed focus to such cutting edge topics as sitting room makeovers and loose candle wax.
"While we support every group who wishes to consume asparagus, and do not discriminate on the basis of age, sex, race, gender, sexual orientation, bondage role, condom use, ethnicity or major league baseball fan identification," Gruntligel said from a leather sofa in his Greenwich Village headquarters, "to indict a source of income for roughly one in 65,536 Americans that is ranked fifty-fourth among the world's most valuable vegetables, is not only a crime against asparagus, but a terrorist action against one of nature's most perfect foods and an important source of revenue for government and industry."
Back at the rally, timecop sniffed in response. "Like his ugly fat bitch of a wife will ever give him this kind of head," he said, demonstrating on Morgan Freeman, who happened to be passing on his way to testify before a Senate committee on racial discrimination in the color of fingernail clippers. "Desist -- cease, I say!" began Freeman, but then, in his characteristic basso profundo, began moaning rhythmically to the motion of gay nigger tongues.
Semen, the technical name for the fluid of male sexual emission which occurs at ejaculation, has a generally salty or sweet taste, depending on what the person responsible has consumed since his last ejaculation, said Dr. Ben Rodriguez-Silverstein. "It's entirely possible that these foods make semen taste disgusting," he said. "But unfortunately, most of them are necessary for survival."
He was immediately mobbed by gay niggers wielding placards reading "READ MY LIPS: NO RANCID SEMEN."
Contacted via phone, Robert Liebovitz, lead counsel for the Association of Confection Producers, said, "Can I get AIDS from this?"
Rodriguez-Silverstein, who was later spotted receiving $250,000 in small denomination bills smeared with a sticky, mushroom-smelling substance, announced that his lab was conducting independent tests using AOL Afghanistan employees to sample semen from every eth
GNAA claims responsibility for Momfuck virus.
By Horatio Brunswick
New York, NY - GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America) The GNAA today claimed responsibility for the release of the devastating trojan Momfuck.1o1, which has caused an estimated 486 billion dollars US in lost productivity and unread penis enlargement offers.
In a drastic escalation of their widely criticized christmas island bombing campaign which has killed thousands of defenceless CI natives, the GNAA made vague threats last week in a "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website. In the post (not published here due to profanity and ascii nudity) the GNAA threatened the "Destruction of all internet" if net martyr http://www.goatse.cx was not immediately reinstated. Initally dismissed by self proclaimed security experts Cowboykneel and Linux Toreballs as a childish lark, the world was totally unprepared for the storm to come.
Momfuck.lol exploits three vulnerabilities within Linux's UPnP implementation: a remotely exploitable buffer overflow that allows an attacker gain SYSTEM level access to any default installation of Linux, a Denial of Service (DoS) attack, and a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack. Within hours of release, every backbone in the country had become infected with the virus, bringing the internet to a crashing halt. The DHS announced an orange alert when the virus spread to even such such remote non-countries as Canada and England, becomming a worldwide computer epidemic. The sequence of events that followed was devastating. ATMs in several states began routing funds from caucasian bank accounts into a GNAA controlled cayman islands account. Traffic lights in all major metropolitan areas malfunctioned, displaying pink rather than the standard red yellow and green configuration, causing unprecedented accidents and traffic delays. Radio stations ceased transmitting their standard programming and began a round the clock broadcast of a bootleg of the Village People's "YMCA" which was altered to "GNAA." Perhaps most horrifyingly, The FOX network's LOL sunday programming lineup was interrupted, and replaced by a graphic video of two men having anal sex, backed by the lyrics "Boom I got your boyfriend".
The FBI has fallen under heavy criticism for their failure to respond to the threat of the GNAA. The general public seems uwilling to accept their claims that the post was below their current threshold. The FBI's top cyber-security unit warned consumers and corporations Friday night to take new steps beyond those recommended by SCO Corp. to protect against hackers who might try to attack major flaws discovered in the newest version of Linux software, or to get a life, faggots. FBI Department head John Asscrotch is expected to resign in disgrace shortly.
What follows is a transcript of an actual internet relay chat conversation, with two individuals who seem to have been infected by momfuck.lol. It is my hope that this will help computer users to recognize and avoid the virus if encountered.
* Now talking in #eurotekken
* Topic is 'http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/forums/showthread.p hp?s=&postid=1527925#post1527925 : everyone give your 0.00c'
* Set by SirCane on Tue Apr 06 15:57:26
<l0de> "Mom, I can't sleep would you mind if I get in bed with you?
<l0de> I have virus!
<l0de> She was wearing a baby doll semi-see through nightie, and was embarrassed to let me in bed with her.
<subt-L> haha.. this is a fucking crazy virus..
<l0de> I can't type this fast!
<l0de> However she remembered how I had let her sleep with me when she needed to.
<l0de> Oh my god.
<l0de> "Sure John, it's a big bed," she said in an uncertain tone.
<l0de> "Mom, would you mind if I snuggle a little with you.
<l0de> I just feel kind o