You're confusing legality with cause. If I am a sexy 20-something blonde female in a scanty party outfit, and I walk a dark street in the bad end of town at 2:00 AM, and get mugged, the mugger is guilty of a crime, and should be prosecuted. But in this scenario, I'm guilty of personal endangerment.
This comment by you shows that you still don't get it. I think regardless of how many people believe that a girl's dress has something to do with being raped, that is not true. Most of the time it's just people to are in the wrong place at the wrong time, or have junkie parents who do screwed up things when they're high, etc. I think this notion that only provocatively dressed women are more likely to get raped is a myth. I'd say they're more likely to have a boyfriend who would walk them home late at night to prevent something like that from happening.
I live in a big city, and when I hear on the news that someone was raped, it's almost always because she was walking down the street at the wrong time, not because she was dressed like a slut.
Go back and read what I wrote again - I didn't say that wearing sexy clothes was "asking to be raped".
I know you didn't, and I addressed that in the part of my comment after the first sentence you quoted. Of course many things contribute to situations related to abuse, I'm not denying that. But, I do think there is this notion that the hot girls are the ones who get raped. I'm just speaking from my own experience on this, of course, but I would think the hotter girls are even less likely to be raped than other girls. Why? Because, usually they are more self confident (for better or worse), and they're likely used to guys being around them all the time.
Anyway, I don't think we're disagreeing completely with each other...I just can't help but caution (not specifically to you) that it's a mistake to blame the victims when abuse happens.
Life is inherently a terminal condition, so while you can't always completely eliminate risk, you sure as hell can mitigate it. Going back to the example of a young woman being raped at a party - the rape itself is certainly not her fault, but she sure as hell isn't minimizing her risk if she dresses suggestively and gets drunk (i.e. impairs her judgement and ability to act even further) in the presence of a bunch of young men whose behavior she can't really predict. It's not about "blaming the victim", it's about getting people to think before acting and thus avoiding being victimized completely in most cases.
The problem with the argument of asking for being raped by wearing "sexy" clothes is that you can take the clothes out of the picture, and people will still get abused. So if looking good is not minimizing the risk of being raped, where do you draw the line? Can you blame someone for being raped because they dress modestly, but have an incredible body? Can you blame someone for being "blessed" with nice boobs? I know I'm taking your argument to the extreme, but where do you really draw the line? Is someone who doesn't cover their entire body like some Muslim women do not minimizing the chance of being raped? Because, even women in Muslim dress can be raped.
Or how about, not even talking about rape, the guy on the New York City subway who stabbed someone because they looked at him...does the person who looked at him deserve blame for what the attacker did to them? Again, I think I'm taking your argument to the extreme, but I hope you see my point.
Sure, some people can invite sexual actions by leading a guy or girl on and then not wanting to go any further, but does someone like that really deserve blame for a rape or some such abuse? The reality is, no one deserves such a traumatic experience, and blaming the victim, even partially, is letting the real problem escape blame, which is the rapist.
Rapes happen. But there are almost always mitigating circumstances. Victim is at a wild party. Victim is drunk, with strangers. Victim is alone and in an isolated/vulnerable location. Victim is involved with unusual sexual activity, or has provoked an obviously aggressive party. Et cetera. Rare is the rape that's truly random.
I see what you're saying, and I've seen this point of view a lot, but blaming the victim of rapes is never the way to go. What about the young girl who was abused by her dad, or uncle, or mom's boyfriend, etc? When someone is abused, especially sexually, it is usually a traumatizing experience. Telling someone that they were raped because of their own fault is insane...you're just victimizing the victim again.
The real sad thing about this is, many times victims of abuse, whether it's sexual, physical or mental, are young. And when you are abused when you are young, it alters your brain chemistry. And magically they find themselves in situations where more abuse will occur. Telling these people that it's their fault these things are happening to you is insane, insensitive, and down right stupid. You do not tell people who are victims of abuse that it is their fault. Ever. The fact is, a lot of abuse is random, but it affects the victims in such a way that they find themselves in abusive situations again. Do not blame these people...it will not help.
Bullying is just another form of abuse, and telling a victim of bullying it's their fault is just crazy. I'd rather tell them how to avoid abusive situations rather than saying you're making people bullying you. The sad thing is, a lot of victims of bullies also become bullies, and then the cycle starts again.
Anyway, that's how I'm reading what you're saying. Feel free to reply if I'm not understanding you completely...
I've actually had a problem with my power adapter before, and I have a 3 year old Powerbook. Last year, the power adapter that I bought the Powerbook with began tearing at the rubber part where the adapter plugs into the laptop. The rubber tore so much that the wires underneath the rubber were visible, and I could see they were tearing apart as well. When I moved the rubber part just a little bit, the wires underneath began to spark and smoke. I unplugged it and ordered a new one...$90. Now, a year later, it looks like the rubber part on the new adapter is coming apart in the same place again. Sigh.
Apple's new adapters for their MacBooks look like they are designed to not have this problem, though I haven't seen one in person.
I used to use the official Bittorrent client on my mac until I found Transmission, which actually looks like a Mac app. It's still missing a lot of features, but it seems it's being actively developed, so check out one of the nightly builds. I find it gets pretty fast speeds, and it's now my default bittorrent client.
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This comment by you shows that you still don't get it. I think regardless of how many people believe that a girl's dress has something to do with being raped, that is not true. Most of the time it's just people to are in the wrong place at the wrong time, or have junkie parents who do screwed up things when they're high, etc. I think this notion that only provocatively dressed women are more likely to get raped is a myth. I'd say they're more likely to have a boyfriend who would walk them home late at night to prevent something like that from happening.
I live in a big city, and when I hear on the news that someone was raped, it's almost always because she was walking down the street at the wrong time, not because she was dressed like a slut.
I know you didn't, and I addressed that in the part of my comment after the first sentence you quoted. Of course many things contribute to situations related to abuse, I'm not denying that. But, I do think there is this notion that the hot girls are the ones who get raped. I'm just speaking from my own experience on this, of course, but I would think the hotter girls are even less likely to be raped than other girls. Why? Because, usually they are more self confident (for better or worse), and they're likely used to guys being around them all the time. Anyway, I don't think we're disagreeing completely with each other...I just can't help but caution (not specifically to you) that it's a mistake to blame the victims when abuse happens.
The problem with the argument of asking for being raped by wearing "sexy" clothes is that you can take the clothes out of the picture, and people will still get abused. So if looking good is not minimizing the risk of being raped, where do you draw the line? Can you blame someone for being raped because they dress modestly, but have an incredible body? Can you blame someone for being "blessed" with nice boobs? I know I'm taking your argument to the extreme, but where do you really draw the line? Is someone who doesn't cover their entire body like some Muslim women do not minimizing the chance of being raped? Because, even women in Muslim dress can be raped.
Or how about, not even talking about rape, the guy on the New York City subway who stabbed someone because they looked at him...does the person who looked at him deserve blame for what the attacker did to them? Again, I think I'm taking your argument to the extreme, but I hope you see my point.
Sure, some people can invite sexual actions by leading a guy or girl on and then not wanting to go any further, but does someone like that really deserve blame for a rape or some such abuse? The reality is, no one deserves such a traumatic experience, and blaming the victim, even partially, is letting the real problem escape blame, which is the rapist.
I see what you're saying, and I've seen this point of view a lot, but blaming the victim of rapes is never the way to go. What about the young girl who was abused by her dad, or uncle, or mom's boyfriend, etc? When someone is abused, especially sexually, it is usually a traumatizing experience. Telling someone that they were raped because of their own fault is insane...you're just victimizing the victim again.
The real sad thing about this is, many times victims of abuse, whether it's sexual, physical or mental, are young. And when you are abused when you are young, it alters your brain chemistry. And magically they find themselves in situations where more abuse will occur. Telling these people that it's their fault these things are happening to you is insane, insensitive, and down right stupid. You do not tell people who are victims of abuse that it is their fault. Ever. The fact is, a lot of abuse is random, but it affects the victims in such a way that they find themselves in abusive situations again. Do not blame these people...it will not help. Bullying is just another form of abuse, and telling a victim of bullying it's their fault is just crazy. I'd rather tell them how to avoid abusive situations rather than saying you're making people bullying you. The sad thing is, a lot of victims of bullies also become bullies, and then the cycle starts again.
Anyway, that's how I'm reading what you're saying. Feel free to reply if I'm not understanding you completely...
I've actually had a problem with my power adapter before, and I have a 3 year old Powerbook. Last year, the power adapter that I bought the Powerbook with began tearing at the rubber part where the adapter plugs into the laptop. The rubber tore so much that the wires underneath the rubber were visible, and I could see they were tearing apart as well. When I moved the rubber part just a little bit, the wires underneath began to spark and smoke. I unplugged it and ordered a new one...$90. Now, a year later, it looks like the rubber part on the new adapter is coming apart in the same place again. Sigh. Apple's new adapters for their MacBooks look like they are designed to not have this problem, though I haven't seen one in person.
I take it you've never heard him sing "Hot Shot City". It's particularly good.
I used to use the official Bittorrent client on my mac until I found Transmission, which actually looks like a Mac app. It's still missing a lot of features, but it seems it's being actively developed, so check out one of the nightly builds. I find it gets pretty fast speeds, and it's now my default bittorrent client.