I hope this doesn't get modded "Funny" 'cause I assure you it wasn't...
I've got irritable bowel syndrome, and I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. OK, so not a "crazy thinking I'm ill ALL the time hypochondriac", but I'm very apprehensive.
About a year or so ago I had some symptoms (which I won't describe here for obvious reasons...) and decided to Google for them. I spent about 1 week crying (yes, really crying) thinking I had Colon cancer, and about 1 year more to live or so. It took 3 doctors and all sorts of horrible tests (which I won't describe here either.... for obvious reasons...) for me to realize I was being silly and there wasn't anything wrong with me.
I can't imagine what my state of mind would've been if, prior to searching for the symptoms, I'd read this on slashdot... I woulds been even MORE sure that there was a 58% chance I had colon cancer and I might've killed myself...
So, if you're even a little apprehensive don't EVER google for your symptoms!
This reminds me something that happened to me a few years ago. Believe it or not but this is actually a true story. I repeat... this really IS a true story! I am not making this up!
A friend of mine, who is a sculptor, comes up to me one day and says she really wants to go to a conference in Norway. Lots of famous sculptors, opportunities to meet relevant people in her sector, an opportunity to learn lots of new things...
Next thing she does is give me the forms etc. etc. to fill out for her because she is Spanish and doesn't know any English. When I say "she doesn't know any English" I mean she doesn't even know "yes" or "no". (Well, she does know "no" because it's the same in Spanish, but you get my drift)
So what I did is translate the forms into Spanish and have her fill in the replies. I then filled in the forms for her in perfect English.
To her surprise she was accepted, and invited to the conference. They were so impressed with her work that she was invited at no cost (they even paid for her flight) with one condition... she had to give a presentation of her work........ yes..... you guessed it.... in either English or English.
Of course I had been a bit cheeky and put on the form that her English was "quite good" (because it was a prerequisite to be accepted).
I thought she'd give up but no...
Guess what we did... yes... you guessed it again. She prepared a speech in Spanish and I translated it into English. Now, those of you that are bilingual or speak good Spanish know that in the latter language EVERYTHING with about 1 exception (que?) is pronounced exactly as it's written. Spanish has very few vowels (A, E, I, O, U can each only be pronounced in one way), so it occurred to me to translate a 3/4 of an hour presentation from proper English to English-like pronounciation using the very simple Spanish rules.
In the end it became so easy for me that I could just write:
"Elou jau ar iu tudei. Ai am duin fain zank iu. Zi uezer tudei is veri nais." without even thinking about it.
Next thing my friend did was practice for about 2 weeks... after which I set her loose on a few English speaking friends of mine and... believe it or not they actually understood what she was reading.
So, of course, she set of to Norway, went to her (free) 5 star hotel and next day gave her speech. She tells me that, what happened next is a follows:
1) a big round of applause.
2) about 30 minutes for the audience to ask her questions.
I don't know what happened next, she never told me.
Slashdot Mirror
OMG!!! 1 hour after posting:
Score:3, Funny
You bunch of cruel ***t*rds.
I hope this doesn't get modded "Funny" 'cause I assure you it wasn't... I've got irritable bowel syndrome, and I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. OK, so not a "crazy thinking I'm ill ALL the time hypochondriac", but I'm very apprehensive. About a year or so ago I had some symptoms (which I won't describe here for obvious reasons...) and decided to Google for them. I spent about 1 week crying (yes, really crying) thinking I had Colon cancer, and about 1 year more to live or so. It took 3 doctors and all sorts of horrible tests (which I won't describe here either .... for obvious reasons...) for me to realize I was being silly and there wasn't anything wrong with me.
I can't imagine what my state of mind would've been if, prior to searching for the symptoms, I'd read this on slashdot... I woulds been even MORE sure that there was a 58% chance I had colon cancer and I might've killed myself...
So, if you're even a little apprehensive don't EVER google for your symptoms!
This reminds me something that happened to me a few years ago. Believe it or not but this is actually a true story. I repeat... this really IS a true story! I am not making this up!
... she had to give a presentation of her work ........ yes ..... you guessed it .... in either English or English.
... yes ... you guessed it again. She prepared a speech in Spanish and I translated it into English. Now, those of you that are bilingual or speak good Spanish know that in the latter language EVERYTHING with about 1 exception (que?) is pronounced exactly as it's written. Spanish has very few vowels (A, E, I, O, U can each only be pronounced in one way), so it occurred to me to translate a 3/4 of an hour presentation from proper English to English-like pronounciation using the very simple Spanish rules.
A friend of mine, who is a sculptor, comes up to me one day and says she really wants to go to a conference in Norway. Lots of famous sculptors, opportunities to meet relevant people in her sector, an opportunity to learn lots of new things...
Next thing she does is give me the forms etc. etc. to fill out for her because she is Spanish and doesn't know any English. When I say "she doesn't know any English" I mean she doesn't even know "yes" or "no". (Well, she does know "no" because it's the same in Spanish, but you get my drift)
So what I did is translate the forms into Spanish and have her fill in the replies. I then filled in the forms for her in perfect English.
To her surprise she was accepted, and invited to the conference. They were so impressed with her work that she was invited at no cost (they even paid for her flight) with one condition
Of course I had been a bit cheeky and put on the form that her English was "quite good" (because it was a prerequisite to be accepted).
I thought she'd give up but no...
Guess what we did
In the end it became so easy for me that I could just write:
"Elou jau ar iu tudei. Ai am duin fain zank iu. Zi uezer tudei is veri nais."
without even thinking about it.
Next thing my friend did was practice for about 2 weeks... after which I set her loose on a few English speaking friends of mine and... believe it or not they actually understood what she was reading.
So, of course, she set of to Norway, went to her (free) 5 star hotel and next day gave her speech. She tells me that, what happened next is a follows:
1) a big round of applause.
2) about 30 minutes for the audience to ask her questions.
I don't know what happened next, she never told me.