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User: Keith+Curtis

Keith+Curtis's activity in the archive.

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  1. The Keith Curtis Perspective on Wall Street Journal's Technology Innovation Awards · · Score: -1

    o Slashdot EeziPost (TM) MK I

    #NB: For obvious reasons, the first option is ENABLED by default - remember to turn off if you are NOT responding to a dupe

    [X] Another: [X] Dupe [ ] Slashvertisment [X] WTF [X] $editor is a dork

    [ ] Frist psot [ ] link to GNAA [ ] Link to goatse [ ] $random_drivel

    [ ] I Haven't RTFA, but... $random_opinionated_comment

    [ ] Slashdotted already!. I bet their server runs on $topic_item too

    [ ] Soul_sucking registration required

    [ ] Mod Parent [ ] up [ ] Down

    [ ] Fsck: [ ] SCO [ ] Micro$oft [ ] DMCA [ ] DRM [ ] MPAA [ ] RIAA [ ] Google [ ] Bush [ ] You all

    [ ] I for one welcome our new $topic_item overlords

    [ ] Imagine a beowulf cluster of those

    [ ] In Soviet Russia, $topic_item owns you!

    [X] Meh!

    [ ] Netcraft confirms $topic_item is: [ ] dead [ ] dying

    [ ] But have the inventors thought of what will happen if
    $random_amateur_insight
    [ ] Once again the USA is clamping down on my [ ] Amendment rights.

    [ ] You insensitive clod

    [ ] But people who download music from P2P networks are more likely to buy the album

    [ ] Cue DVD Jon-type crack in 3..2..1

    [ ] Torrent, anyone?

    [ ] Here's a link to a patch: $random_linux_distro_url

    [ ] Profit!!

    [ ] Still no cure for cancer

  2. The Moon - A Rediculous Liberal Myth! on Hubble Zooms In On Moon Minerals · · Score: -1, Troll

    It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)

    Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.

    Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "Mars" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "Mars" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "Mars" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night!

    Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "Mars" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the Mars", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "Mars" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.

  3. Whois? on Can Asbestos Help Us Understand Nanotoxicity? · · Score: 0

    Keith Curtis IS!
    Don't ever fight me.

  4. Try the Keith Curtis Method! on Microsoft Reduces Shared Source Licenses · · Score: -1, Troll

    It involves Keith Curtis, a bottle of Wild Turkey and Go Fuck Yourself!

  5. The Keith Curtis Solution! on ISS Orbit-Raising Attempt Fails · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Put a little Keith Curtis on that bad boy!

  6. Wiki for Keith Curtis! on Wikipedia Founder Sees Serious Quality Problems · · Score: 1, Funny

    All it says is "Drunken Irish Layabout" and there's a picture of Leo DiCaprio.

  7. I neglected to mention... on Interview with Dr. Bradley C. Edwards · · Score: -1, Troll

    I had to fellate the Dr. to get the interview.
    I can still smell those flaming red pubes.