Regardless of one's position on universal healthcare (FYI I'm all for it) fuel taxes shouldn't have anything to do with healthcare funding. That money should go entirely in to road construction, maintenance, and improvement.
It's going to have to come out of some kind of tax if it's a government-run program. I can see the logic of a part of fuel taxes going to health care if health care is subsidized by the government, since car wrecks often cause surgery to be needed. I do agree that most of it should come from other sources, though, such as income taxes.
Only moderators get a "like" button. They also get a "fiuck you" button. I think any site with a "like" button should follow slashdot's lead and have a "fuck you" button as well!
They lost me when my daughter bought a music CD from the music store she worked at and it infected my PC with the XCP trojan rootkit. Trashed the thing, had to completely rebuild it. I refuse to buy anything from anyone who would deliberately infect their paying customer's computers. I'll be modded down for saying this, but in my opinion, after XCP, the OtherOS fiasco, having private customer information stored in an internet connected database unencrypted, you'd be a fool to buy anthing from those people.
I've rided Amtrack a few times, and from what it looked like to me was that its problem is only that it's poorly run rather than underfunded. When I took a train to St Louis to pick up a car, I paid $60 for the ticket. Ten bucks worth of gas got me back home. It wouldn't need any subsidies at all if it were run well.
Good to know there's nothing like a short gun firing anything larger than a.22. Those 9mm parabellum Glocks? I must dreamt of them.
A 9mm doesn't have the recoil of a shotgun.
Just about damn exactly the same as here, in Earth
That was exactly my point! Except on earth you have the planet's gravity keeping you in place, not so in space.
It doesn't take much thrust to move a weightless object in an atmosphere, either. And with regards of weigthed objects, well, they take about the same thrust in a vacuum than in an atmosphere.
Again, that was exactly my point, as was the rest of your post.
Liberal. In the way we both knew I meant was in the political sense.
That WAS the political sense, fiscally speaking. Conservatives want the government to be stingy with tax money (unless it's going to them), liberals want to help people with it.
Conservatives are not against taxes.
Tell that to the tea party.
Ever looked at the difference in percentage of income given to charities between liberals and conservatives?
Christians "do their alms" in secret, as Jesus said we should. And as he said, if you do it publicly it's just show (or today, a tax break) and not charity at all.
So you are saying that liberals are against being wealthy?
No, I'm saying Christ is against being wealthy. "You can't serve two masters."
So the liberal left is not trying to strip religion from seals, courtrooms, crosses on mountains and every where else?
A horse is a four legged animal, but a four legged animal may be a dog. Some liberals are die-hard atheists who would like to get rid of religion completely. And as to Conservatives and "family values", have a look at Newt some time. He's another wolf in sheep's clothing, someone who worships money but pretends to worship God.
The big problem with the "new math" was that parents who didn't know algebra (like mine) couldn't help their kids with their homework. Couple that with way too many kids in a classroom and a generation of inumerates was guaranteed.
It was a stupid idea. They should have taught the kids the old way first, then the new way.
This is a case of a bully getting his ass handed to him and crying to the teacher. It has nothing to do with apple vs google vs microsoft vs linux fans. It has to do with a company acting with extreme hypocricy.
No, they're not being pedantic, you're being ignorant. Recycle != reuse. If you're using them as synonyms you're using them wrong. Read what they told you and learn, rather than trying to defend your own ignorance.
Citation? Courts around here give them a choice of an expensive rehab facility or the free AA. And although one of the 12 steps* is "giving in to a higher power" it is certainly not a religious organization.
* I researched it for a parody about five years ago. Must have been pretty good, because if you google for "biters anonymous" it still comes up as the first result, before any of the serious pages.
Battery is dead, no lights no start no voltage, I'm not stupid enough to scan it, I put in a new battery.
And then the next day it still won't start, because the battery's fine, just discharged; the faulty part was the alternator.
I had to have a new battery in my car last year, I had no clue where they put the damned thing. Took a trained mechanic 45 minutes to remove the wheel, fender, and wheel well, because that's what it takes to change the battery, which is hidden between the fender and wheel well!
If the people who engineered these things had to work on them, they'de be designed a hell of a lot differently.
Where's that shortened URL going, goatse? Be advised that when I moderate, if I see a shortened URL in a comment I'm just going to assume it's goatse or tubgirl and automatically mod it "troll," because there's no other reason to use a shortened URL at slashdot other than to trick people into going somewhere they don't want to go.
This isn't twitter. If that link is legit, use the whole damned thing. A short URL here makes you look like a twit.
As my dad said in regards to getting married "Boy, choose wisely."
That's an impossibility without some means to fortell the future. You're not who you will be in ten years, she's not who she'll be in ten years, and in fact the world won't be what it is now in ten years.
The only wise decicion is to get a maid, a dog, and a couple of hookers. Or just cohabitate (which won't work in some states).
The reason their sites look basic is so that you can read them on mobile phones.
All web sites should be written like this!
Of course now everyone has smart phones they could be more complex
But everyone DOESN'T have a smart phone. I don't; I have a "feature phone" that won't display your "complex" pages (funny it does work with slashdot though)
Now tell me, what would be the benefit of making them more complex? THIS IS A BUG, NOT A FEATURE. Case in point: I gave up trying to file my taxes online after an hour because all the damned sites you could do it were in a big contest to see who could make their page more complex... no, strike that, complicated so it would seem they were actually needed.
I DLed and printed the the PDF and had it filled out in less than two minutes. Which means it will be an extra week before I get my tax return. Thanks, IRS.
There's an old engineering principle called KISS that today's kids seem to have never learned: Keep It Simple, Stupid!
The best option for smartphones is to get an app.
No, the best option for smart phones is to not waste the user's memory, battery, and CPU on a goddamned app and wite as simple a web site as you can get away with. LAZY PROGRAMMERS? There's an app for that!
I wasn't going to respond to your original troll since it was at -1 and nobody would see it, but since someone else did (rather stupidly IMO) I must.
I am a Christian. I am also a liberal. Now, your statements about ME (you asshole):
You have to remember that if you are a liberal everything to do with religion is horribly bad.
Jesus was a liberal. "Liberal" means "generous," "conservative" means "stingy". "Conservative Christian" seems to me an oxymoron. Jesus was against everything conservatives are for. Taxes? "Render unto ceasar that which is ceasar's." Feeding the poor? Conservatives are against it, Christians and liberals are for it. Accumulating wealth? Jesus was against it. "It is as hard for a rich man to enter heaven as it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle." Then there's the story of the starving, ill Lazarus and the rich man. Guess which one went to hell?
They do not believe in freedom of speech. Or freedom of religion. Speech is for ideas you agree with and religious freedom is the freedom to never have to see it in your peripheral vision.
Absolute bullshit. You're either ignorant or lying.
Are you saying that I am wrong about everything ever?
I don't know about him, but I am. You want to worship Satan or Rick Perry, that's fine with me, fool. You want to call me a fool? Go ahead, I'll laugh in your face.
There's no logic or citation provided for your claim that this move was bad.
You have that backwards. There's no logic or citation that says that video games can be harmful, and in fact the studies show exactly the opposite.
Are you also in support of distribution of alcohol and tobacco to minors?
Tobacco and alcohol, otoh, have been shown to be harmful to minors. The rest of your post was successfully rebutted by Hatta. Now go away, Jack Thompson. Shoo!
Monday reared its dreary head this morning in anticipation of the pending divorce. I went to the courtroom, put my stuff in the tray, shoved my coat into the X-Ray box, and walked through the metal detector as half a dozen or more armed people stood around directing more normal, unarmed people.
I found my way to the same floor I had been on during the previous hearing, and found when asking that I was on the wrong floor.
I got to the seventh floor and found the courtroom, and sat in front of a very unattractive woman who smiled at me broadly, as to say "fuck me now!"
I shuddered, and smiled weakly back and sat down.
The hearing was at nine, and by ten after I didn't see my lawyer or the judge.
Finally a bailiff said "all rise" and the judge said "sit down". The judge then spoke to lawyers and the court reporter and somebody said something about some guy in jail.
I asked the bailiff if I was in the right courtroom. He checked with the court reporter, and I was indeed in the right place. No lawyer.
They brought a long haired, bearded prisoner wearing blue jeans and a flannel shirt from a side door. The guy had spent the last three weeks in jail over a typo!
This fellow was adamant that his child support payments were taken out of his paycheck just like the court order said.
After the court reporter and a District Attorney and some other guys in suits who I couldn't figure out talked about and mulled over a piece of paper on the judge's bench, the judge finally said "but look here, this Court Order is obviously in error."
It seems from what I could gather, not being a lawyer and all, that they were only taking half the amount from his paycheck, but the payroll slip reflected what the judge had said.
"Calm down," the judge said, "you're getting out. But if you're not here on January 15th we'll put out another bench warrant on you."
They took him out a door on the other side.
"Is there anybody here for... McGrew?"
I stood up and walked forward. Its lawyer wasn't here, either!
"Yes sir, uh, your oner. I, uh, my lawyer's not here, I think she's..."
"Ok, ok," says the judge. Who's next?
I sat back down, and some black fellow got divorced. His ex wasn't there, nor did he have a lawyer. It took five minutes.
I should have done that! Although you have to be separated for over two years before you can get divorced without your wife's permission.
My lawyer finally came in, along with Satan's lawyer. The black guy was free from slavery, and I was next!
The judge made me raise my hand and swear, although no bible was evident to swear on.
The service, marriage, divorce... I hate raising my right hand!
My lawyer asked my name, age, where I was married (the Old Cahokia Courthouse, oldest court house in or west of the Mississippi Valley) and was I sure that counseling would not make me want to change my mind.
"We tried counseling. That's when I found out about her adultery, which is in fact what our 'irreconsilable differences' are."
"Oh," the judge says.
"I have no further questions, your honor."
"No Questions," Lucifer's shyster said at the judge's nod.
And it was over. There is to be one more hearing before the first of the year, and I'll be completely single, after over a year after she left. And then speaking with my lawyer afterward- Evil X gets part of my pension! Yep, that's law. And my daughter Patty gets no child support, since Leila's living with her mother and still going to high school, even though she's 18.
The bank will be taking my house at a completely unrelated hearing tomorrow morning. They already repossessed my van (which had a broken transmission anyway).
But... freedom! Liberty! At the cost of most of everything I own, at the cost of personal bankruptcy, at the cost of about fourteen hundred bucks in legal fees IF I don't fight for custody...
I took an extra happy pill when I got back to work. It didn't work too well.
*Groan* I did that joke ten years ago, dude! And mine was actually funny.
"Hey, you got a new car! Pretty nice! I see you're sticking with the same manufacturer."
"Well, I liked the old one. I've always been happy with Microcar's autos."
"Your old one was only two years old, if you liked it why did you buy a new one?"
"The manufacturer said I should upgrade. Besides, this new model has a cassette instead of an eight track. Wish it would play the other four tracks though..."
"Why didn't you just buy a new radio?"
"The manufacturer welds them in, and wires them so the car won't start if you take it out. Besides, the radio wasn't the only reason to upgrade."
"What else?"
"Ralph Nader says the old one crashes too often, but you know that nut. I've only had that old one one crash six times, and I was never in the hospital too long. But Microcar says this model is much more stable and hardly ever crashes. It's supposed to be more secure, too."
"Why did it keep crashing?"
"Dunno, something about the spark plugs interacting with the steering system, I'm no mechanic. My mechanic tried to explain it to me but these mechanical things are just too complicated. He says if I'd defrag my pistons more often it wouldn't crash, you get much more stability with a fresh tuneup. But I just said 'the hell with it' and traded it in.
"In fact, I'm taking it in to the shop right now."
"But it's a band new car, it needs a tuneup?"
"No, there's a 'feature' that keeps the door lock from working if you drive it more than six miles. I'm going to get the patch kit".
"I thought you weren't mechanical?"
"Well, they say this one's an easy fix and I can't afford another repair bill".
"Won't they fix it under warranty?"
"What warranty? This is a car! The EULA says they bear no responsibility for anything. I just hope I don't get in trouble with the law applying this patch."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, they weld the hood shut, and under the DMCA, opening the hood of your car is a felony if it's welded shut. You can go to prison if you get caught, even if they are tacky little welds that come apart by themselves."
"Boy, cars sure are weird. I'm glad my computer isn't like that, I'd never get any work done!"
But the science fiction future IS here! It's the 21st century. We have ovens that cook with radio waves, doors that open and close by themselves, Star Trek communicators, Star Trek padds, hospital readouts that make McCoy's sick bay look primitive, cybernetic implants, devices that can record TV shows, computers on our desk and even more, small enough to carry around, the internet, talking toys, singing greeting cards, drone aircraft that fly themselves, "smart bombs" that never miss their targets, lasers, flat screen TVs...
Slashdot Mirror
Regardless of one's position on universal healthcare (FYI I'm all for it) fuel taxes shouldn't have anything to do with healthcare funding. That money should go entirely in to road construction, maintenance, and improvement.
It's going to have to come out of some kind of tax if it's a government-run program. I can see the logic of a part of fuel taxes going to health care if health care is subsidized by the government, since car wrecks often cause surgery to be needed. I do agree that most of it should come from other sources, though, such as income taxes.
Only moderators get a "like" button. They also get a "fiuck you" button. I think any site with a "like" button should follow slashdot's lead and have a "fuck you" button as well!
They lost me when my daughter bought a music CD from the music store she worked at and it infected my PC with the XCP trojan rootkit. Trashed the thing, had to completely rebuild it. I refuse to buy anything from anyone who would deliberately infect their paying customer's computers. I'll be modded down for saying this, but in my opinion, after XCP, the OtherOS fiasco, having private customer information stored in an internet connected database unencrypted, you'd be a fool to buy anthing from those people.
No, but it's the total cost of the trip itself as long as owning the car is necessary. The other costs of driving are fixed costs.
I've rided Amtrack a few times, and from what it looked like to me was that its problem is only that it's poorly run rather than underfunded. When I took a train to St Louis to pick up a car, I paid $60 for the ticket. Ten bucks worth of gas got me back home. It wouldn't need any subsidies at all if it were run well.
Have you ever been to one?
No, I haven't, but I have quite a few friends that go often. None of them are the least bit religious, and at least one is an atheist.
Very good point, I hadn't thought of that.
No, that was completely beside the point I was making.
Good to know there's nothing like a short gun firing anything larger than a .22. Those 9mm parabellum Glocks? I must dreamt of them.
A 9mm doesn't have the recoil of a shotgun.
Just about damn exactly the same as here, in Earth
That was exactly my point! Except on earth you have the planet's gravity keeping you in place, not so in space.
It doesn't take much thrust to move a weightless object in an atmosphere, either. And with regards of weigthed objects, well, they take about the same thrust in a vacuum than in an atmosphere.
Again, that was exactly my point, as was the rest of your post.
Liberal. In the way we both knew I meant was in the political sense.
That WAS the political sense, fiscally speaking. Conservatives want the government to be stingy with tax money (unless it's going to them), liberals want to help people with it.
Conservatives are not against taxes.
Tell that to the tea party.
Ever looked at the difference in percentage of income given to charities between liberals and conservatives?
Christians "do their alms" in secret, as Jesus said we should. And as he said, if you do it publicly it's just show (or today, a tax break) and not charity at all.
So you are saying that liberals are against being wealthy?
No, I'm saying Christ is against being wealthy. "You can't serve two masters."
So the liberal left is not trying to strip religion from seals, courtrooms, crosses on mountains and every where else?
A horse is a four legged animal, but a four legged animal may be a dog. Some liberals are die-hard atheists who would like to get rid of religion completely. And as to Conservatives and "family values", have a look at Newt some time. He's another wolf in sheep's clothing, someone who worships money but pretends to worship God.
I shudder to think of people wearing them while driving. On foot? Well that could be useful for getting around a strange city.
The big problem with the "new math" was that parents who didn't know algebra (like mine) couldn't help their kids with their homework. Couple that with way too many kids in a classroom and a generation of inumerates was guaranteed.
It was a stupid idea. They should have taught the kids the old way first, then the new way.
This is a case of a bully getting his ass handed to him and crying to the teacher. It has nothing to do with apple vs google vs microsoft vs linux fans. It has to do with a company acting with extreme hypocricy.
You're an MS fanboi, aren't you?
No, they're not being pedantic, you're being ignorant. Recycle != reuse. If you're using them as synonyms you're using them wrong. Read what they told you and learn, rather than trying to defend your own ignorance.
Citation? Courts around here give them a choice of an expensive rehab facility or the free AA. And although one of the 12 steps* is "giving in to a higher power" it is certainly not a religious organization.
* I researched it for a parody about five years ago. Must have been pretty good, because if you google for "biters anonymous" it still comes up as the first result, before any of the serious pages.
Battery is dead, no lights no start no voltage, I'm not stupid enough to scan it, I put in a new battery.
And then the next day it still won't start, because the battery's fine, just discharged; the faulty part was the alternator.
I had to have a new battery in my car last year, I had no clue where they put the damned thing. Took a trained mechanic 45 minutes to remove the wheel, fender, and wheel well, because that's what it takes to change the battery, which is hidden between the fender and wheel well!
If the people who engineered these things had to work on them, they'de be designed a hell of a lot differently.
http://tinyurl.com/7bfsaky
Where's that shortened URL going, goatse? Be advised that when I moderate, if I see a shortened URL in a comment I'm just going to assume it's goatse or tubgirl and automatically mod it "troll," because there's no other reason to use a shortened URL at slashdot other than to trick people into going somewhere they don't want to go.
This isn't twitter. If that link is legit, use the whole damned thing. A short URL here makes you look like a twit.
As my dad said in regards to getting married "Boy, choose wisely."
That's an impossibility without some means to fortell the future. You're not who you will be in ten years, she's not who she'll be in ten years, and in fact the world won't be what it is now in ten years.
The only wise decicion is to get a maid, a dog, and a couple of hookers. Or just cohabitate (which won't work in some states).
The reason their sites look basic is so that you can read them on mobile phones.
All web sites should be written like this!
Of course now everyone has smart phones they could be more complex
But everyone DOESN'T have a smart phone. I don't; I have a "feature phone" that won't display your "complex" pages (funny it does work with slashdot though)
Now tell me, what would be the benefit of making them more complex? THIS IS A BUG, NOT A FEATURE. Case in point: I gave up trying to file my taxes online after an hour because all the damned sites you could do it were in a big contest to see who could make their page more complex... no, strike that, complicated so it would seem they were actually needed.
I DLed and printed the the PDF and had it filled out in less than two minutes. Which means it will be an extra week before I get my tax return. Thanks, IRS.
There's an old engineering principle called KISS that today's kids seem to have never learned: Keep It Simple, Stupid!
The best option for smartphones is to get an app.
No, the best option for smart phones is to not waste the user's memory, battery, and CPU on a goddamned app and wite as simple a web site as you can get away with. LAZY PROGRAMMERS? There's an app for that!
I wasn't going to respond to your original troll since it was at -1 and nobody would see it, but since someone else did (rather stupidly IMO) I must.
I am a Christian. I am also a liberal. Now, your statements about ME (you asshole):
You have to remember that if you are a liberal everything to do with religion is horribly bad.
Jesus was a liberal. "Liberal" means "generous," "conservative" means "stingy". "Conservative Christian" seems to me an oxymoron. Jesus was against everything conservatives are for. Taxes? "Render unto ceasar that which is ceasar's." Feeding the poor? Conservatives are against it, Christians and liberals are for it. Accumulating wealth? Jesus was against it. "It is as hard for a rich man to enter heaven as it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle." Then there's the story of the starving, ill Lazarus and the rich man. Guess which one went to hell?
They do not believe in freedom of speech. Or freedom of religion. Speech is for ideas you agree with and religious freedom is the freedom to never have to see it in your peripheral vision.
Absolute bullshit. You're either ignorant or lying.
Are you saying that I am wrong about everything ever?
I don't know about him, but I am. You want to worship Satan or Rick Perry, that's fine with me, fool. You want to call me a fool? Go ahead, I'll laugh in your face.
Now go take your meds.
*sigh* I'm replying to a troll, but...
There's no logic or citation provided for your claim that this move was bad.
You have that backwards. There's no logic or citation that says that video games can be harmful, and in fact the studies show exactly the opposite.
Are you also in support of distribution of alcohol and tobacco to minors?
Tobacco and alcohol, otoh, have been shown to be harmful to minors. The rest of your post was successfully rebutted by Hatta. Now go away, Jack Thompson. Shoo!
There IS gravity, why do you think the buckyballs stick together? It's the gravitational attraction between the buckyballs themselves.
So true. I wrote this on Mon Dec 15, 2003:
Monday reared its dreary head this morning in anticipation of the pending divorce. I went to the courtroom, put my stuff in the tray, shoved my coat into the X-Ray box, and walked through the metal detector as half a dozen or more armed people stood around directing more normal, unarmed people.
I found my way to the same floor I had been on during the previous hearing, and found when asking that I was on the wrong floor.
I got to the seventh floor and found the courtroom, and sat in front of a very unattractive woman who smiled at me broadly, as to say "fuck me now!"
I shuddered, and smiled weakly back and sat down.
The hearing was at nine, and by ten after I didn't see my lawyer or the judge.
Finally a bailiff said "all rise" and the judge said "sit down". The judge then spoke to lawyers and the court reporter and somebody said something about some guy in jail.
I asked the bailiff if I was in the right courtroom. He checked with the court reporter, and I was indeed in the right place. No lawyer.
They brought a long haired, bearded prisoner wearing blue jeans and a flannel shirt from a side door. The guy had spent the last three weeks in jail over a typo!
This fellow was adamant that his child support payments were taken out of his paycheck just like the court order said.
After the court reporter and a District Attorney and some other guys in suits who I couldn't figure out talked about and mulled over a piece of paper on the judge's bench, the judge finally said "but look here, this Court Order is obviously in error."
It seems from what I could gather, not being a lawyer and all, that they were only taking half the amount from his paycheck, but the payroll slip reflected what the judge had said.
"Calm down," the judge said, "you're getting out. But if you're not here on January 15th we'll put out another bench warrant on you."
They took him out a door on the other side.
"Is there anybody here for... McGrew?"
I stood up and walked forward. Its lawyer wasn't here, either!
"Yes sir, uh, your oner. I, uh, my lawyer's not here, I think she's..."
"Ok, ok," says the judge. Who's next?
I sat back down, and some black fellow got divorced. His ex wasn't there, nor did he have a lawyer. It took five minutes.
I should have done that! Although you have to be separated for over two years before you can get divorced without your wife's permission.
My lawyer finally came in, along with Satan's lawyer. The black guy was free from slavery, and I was next!
The judge made me raise my hand and swear, although no bible was evident to swear on.
The service, marriage, divorce... I hate raising my right hand!
My lawyer asked my name, age, where I was married (the Old Cahokia Courthouse, oldest court house in or west of the Mississippi Valley) and was I sure that counseling would not make me want to change my mind.
"We tried counseling. That's when I found out about her adultery, which is in fact what our 'irreconsilable differences' are."
"Oh," the judge says.
"I have no further questions, your honor."
"No Questions," Lucifer's shyster said at the judge's nod.
And it was over. There is to be one more hearing before the first of the year, and I'll be completely single, after over a year after she left. And then speaking with my lawyer afterward- Evil X gets part of my pension! Yep, that's law. And my daughter Patty gets no child support, since Leila's living with her mother and still going to high school, even though she's 18.
The bank will be taking my house at a completely unrelated hearing tomorrow morning. They already repossessed my van (which had a broken transmission anyway).
But... freedom! Liberty! At the cost of most of everything I own, at the cost of personal bankruptcy, at the cost of about fourteen hundred bucks in legal fees IF I don't fight for custody...
I took an extra happy pill when I got back to work. It didn't work too well.
*Groan* I did that joke ten years ago, dude! And mine was actually funny.
"Hey, you got a new car! Pretty nice! I see you're sticking with the same manufacturer."
"Well, I liked the old one. I've always been happy with Microcar's autos."
"Your old one was only two years old, if you liked it why did you buy a new one?"
"The manufacturer said I should upgrade. Besides, this new model has a cassette instead of an eight track. Wish it would play the other four tracks though..."
"Why didn't you just buy a new radio?"
"The manufacturer welds them in, and wires them so the car won't start if you take it out. Besides, the radio wasn't the only reason to upgrade."
"What else?"
"Ralph Nader says the old one crashes too often, but you know that nut. I've only had that old one one crash six times, and I was never in the hospital too long. But Microcar says this model is much more stable and hardly ever crashes. It's supposed to be more secure, too."
"Why did it keep crashing?"
"Dunno, something about the spark plugs interacting with the steering system, I'm no mechanic. My mechanic tried to explain it to me but these mechanical things are just too complicated. He says if I'd defrag my pistons more often it wouldn't crash, you get much more stability with a fresh tuneup. But I just said 'the hell with it' and traded it in.
"In fact, I'm taking it in to the shop right now."
"But it's a band new car, it needs a tuneup?"
"No, there's a 'feature' that keeps the door lock from working if you drive it more than six miles. I'm going to get the patch kit".
"I thought you weren't mechanical?"
"Well, they say this one's an easy fix and I can't afford another repair bill".
"Won't they fix it under warranty?"
"What warranty? This is a car! The EULA says they bear no responsibility for anything. I just hope I don't get in trouble with the law applying this patch."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, they weld the hood shut, and under the DMCA, opening the hood of your car is a felony if it's welded shut. You can go to prison if you get caught, even if they are tacky little welds that come apart by themselves."
"Boy, cars sure are weird. I'm glad my computer isn't like that, I'd never get any work done!"
1/25/2002 Springfield Fragfest
But the science fiction future IS here! It's the 21st century. We have ovens that cook with radio waves, doors that open and close by themselves, Star Trek communicators, Star Trek padds, hospital readouts that make McCoy's sick bay look primitive, cybernetic implants, devices that can record TV shows, computers on our desk and even more, small enough to carry around, the internet, talking toys, singing greeting cards, drone aircraft that fly themselves, "smart bombs" that never miss their targets, lasers, flat screen TVs...
Now get off my lawn, kid.