Slashdot Mirror

When I imagine Steve Ballmer wife, I imagine him with a blond wig and some ugly makeup.. scary thoughts...

Actually, they make a very nice couple.

I don't see Balmer calling people "special technology."

Why not? Seems perfectly in character to me.

who gives a shit?

"In the next ten years, you're going to see more positive change than in the last ten,"

yes, free / open source software will undoubtedly grow and flourish over the next decade.

Ballmer wondered aloud why the content of his speech was not being captured and translated automatically, while also being synchronized with real-time video and a copy of his Microsoft PowerPoint presentation.

because ballmer is a douchebag, and he looks like uncle fester.

Advances in software in coming years would make such features practical, making "information workers" and those in fast-growing fields like healthcare more productive, he said.

what incredible powers of prediction! "advances in software will make information workers more productive". i've gotta write that down somewhere.

Ballmer singled out XML and Web services as the "big breakthrough" of the next decade that will spur innovation.

we're all especially ecstatic that microsoft has actually patented the XML formats of their documents, making them useless for XML's intended purpose - easy interchange of information - outside of microsoft products.

"The fact that companies like Oracle (Corp.), IBM (Corp.) and (Microsoft) have bet on an architected approach to interoperability is huge,"

"architected approach to interoperability". must write that down as well. may come up handy in my next meeting with management.

Ballmer scoffed at arguments that his company's operating system creates a computing "monoculture," [...] Microsoft's platforms offer better interoperability with the company's other technology, such as .NET

this public announcement was brought to you by the Totally Obviously Contradictory Council.

reducing the total cost of ownership of Windows compared with Linux, which is available for free, but often requires significant effort to integrate and maintain

especially with microsoft products. This behavior is by design. (tm), (c) microsoft support knowledgebase.

He cited a Microsoft-sponsored study by Forrester Research Inc. and a similar study by Gartner Inc. to bolster his claims.

in response, i would like to cite a study performed by my wife, commissioned by me, which finds that my cock is huge.

On the touchy issue of security, Ballmer also dismissed the notion that Linux is more secure than Windows, saying that Linux would be attacked just as frequently as Windows if the open source operating system had as large a share of the operating system market as Windows.

mr ballmer has that to look forward to, at least.

"If you have two popular operating systems, both will get attacked -- whatever is popular is going to be attacked,"

yes, and if one of them is a consumer-oriented piece of dogshit for which security is an afterthought, and the other is a serious operating system with security designed in from the ground up and open to public review, guess which one will succumb to the attacks.

While not perfect on security, Microsoft has a defined process for addressing security vulnerabilities, compared with the open source community, which he called "all over the map," when it came to addressing vulnerabilities in Linux, Ballmer said.

he can't possibly belive this means anything to anyone except non-tech managers who manage based on name recognition.

Finally, Ballmer argued that companies should be wary of the lack of indemnity from lawsuits, such as the suit filed by The SCO Group Inc. against DaimlerChrysler AG, IBM, Novell Inc. and others over parts of the Linux operating system that SCO claims infringe on elements of the Unix operating system that it owns.

and i would like to repeat the results of the study mentioned earlier in t

http://www.addamsfamily.com/addams/lurch-kerry.jpg

haha, true enough. But I'll take Lurch over Bush any day ;-)

That's a little cruel. There's a more flattering, cheerful looking one of him here.

If I can devise a Lurch filter I might be able to avoid any messages from Kerry too.

Welcome to the Jungle!

Don't worry. Monkey boy shouldn't have any trouble fitting right in.

But Uncle Fester had a wireless lightbulb in 1967. But he couldn't transmit while it was on, except in Morse code.

http://www.addamsfamily.com/addams/train.jpg

Compare and Contrast

See what I mean? :)

Well, a baddy obviously. Dr.Evil, Steve Ballmer, Darth Vader, Uncle Fester ... they all look the same to me.

Regards, Ralph.