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I guess you've never poached an egg

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/vi...

How do you define a country's cuisine? South & South East Asian cuisine was very different before European traders took chillies and tomatoes. Potato is common in Europe, but also comes from South America.

Curry made in Britain is different to what's known in India (see here). Wikipedia suggests curry was here before fish and chips.

"Sunday Roast", as cooked by most people, is crap. Not so much because of the meat, but because most people serve it with boiled vegetables. I put up with this for 18 years, as my dad insisted on cooking on Sundays, and that's all he would cook. Sometimes my mum would make leeks in cheese sauce as a side dish, which is a good improvement to an otherwise bland meal.

I think if I had to make something particularly British, it should be a meat or fish pie, maybe something like this chicken and leek pie (I like leeks). There's plenty of opportunity for flavour.

I don't know what "nasty pudding" is. "Hocky pucks" sound Canadian. I've not heard of "fruitcake cocktail" either.
Dundee cake is good -- although very heavy. If you have space, make it in autumn, leave it in the kitchen, and pour a spoonful of brandy over it every time you walk past. Serve at Christmas. If iced with marzipan and royal icing it's called a Christmas cake. Trifle is the other good opportunity to get all the children tipsy.

How do you define a country's cuisine? South & South East Asian cuisine was very different before European traders took chillies and tomatoes. Potato is common in Europe, but also comes from South America.

Curry made in Britain is different to what's known in India (see here). Wikipedia suggests curry was here before fish and chips.

"Sunday Roast", as cooked by most people, is crap. Not so much because of the meat, but because most people serve it with boiled vegetables. I put up with this for 18 years, as my dad insisted on cooking on Sundays, and that's all he would cook. Sometimes my mum would make leeks in cheese sauce as a side dish, which is a good improvement to an otherwise bland meal.

I think if I had to make something particularly British, it should be a meat or fish pie, maybe something like this chicken and leek pie (I like leeks). There's plenty of opportunity for flavour.

I don't know what "nasty pudding" is. "Hocky pucks" sound Canadian. I've not heard of "fruitcake cocktail" either.
Dundee cake is good -- although very heavy. If you have space, make it in autumn, leave it in the kitchen, and pour a spoonful of brandy over it every time you walk past. Serve at Christmas. If iced with marzipan and royal icing it's called a Christmas cake. Trifle is the other good opportunity to get all the children tipsy.

I looked up clotted cream biscuits -- they're not very common, they look like the kind of thing sold in an airport. Shortbread is much more common: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shortbread

The most common use for clotted cream is on a scone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scone

(I'm not sure if the point was my country was healthier or unhealthier, tastier or not -- you decide!)

Making shortbread is one of my earliest memories from school, I must have been about 5. It can't be too difficult:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/shortbread_1290
http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/4622/classic-scones-with-jam-and-clotted-cream

Hmm. Maybe its a made up dish for us locals or specific to the place I go.

Now you mention it, it sounds a bit like it's been made up to sound extra British.

Im not sure why you think Shepherds pie is boring, its a delicious hearty meal for me.

I'm probably being a bit harsh. This recipe looks OK, but when I think of a lot of traditional British recipes I remember my parents' cooking, which in this case would be that recipe but without any of the herbs and spices (through being "too busy" to include them, usually).

BBC Good Food "British" if you're interested (BBC Good Food Magazine is generally very good for recipes).

I had an account in my name like this one when I was 11, which comes with a cash card or (with parental consent) a debit card.

I'm not sure if it's a law or a "do this or we'll make a law", but banks here offer "basic" accounts to prisoners, debtors etc. These don't let you spend more than you have. Here's one.

Person-to-person transfers can be done electronically either online, by telephone or (in some countries, not the UK) at an ATM. My bank sent me one of these for free, which was designed to secure online transactions (usual points about 'secret' encryption schemes apply).