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Wouldn't it be a better idea for people to walk those short distances, given how fat people are these days?

The biggest problem with these "short" distances is that they aren't short. They are typically anywhere from 1 to 5 miles, in most towns, in most places, in the United States. Suburban sprawl accounts for most of that - all the distance people travel around lawns that most people hate to mow, anyway, and the roads to service the houses comprise some 50% of the land area in most cities in the United States.

5 miles is a pretty big jump when you are used to driving. The obvious answer, Bicycles, are a pain in the rear. They are big and bulky. You can't intermingle your bike and your car throughout the day without lots of hassle, and then only if you have a bike rack. And if anything breaks you are stuck, and bikes are more prone to small "problems".

Enter the folding bike. It's smaller than a typical bike - mine has 16" wheels -but don't let that scare you. I get better than 90% of the performance of a "normal" bike in terms of efficiency and speed, and it sits easily next/under me on the elevator without crowding. It has a luggage rack on the back so I can easily carry anything up to the size of a midsized suitcase (such as my laptop case) without worry. If I need to go in a car, or on a bus, boat, or plane, it folds up into a small 24"x14"x16" package that weighs about 20 pounds. It's perfectly legal to carry on to Southwest Airlines, for example. Combine that with small toolkit that attaches under the back seat, and a micro-sized bike pump, and I basically don't get stuck *anywhere*.

And while at first it might seem a bit "odd", I've learned to accept that it sticks out a bit. I get compliments EVERYWHERE I ride my bike, and I love it enough that it's my primary means of transportation now, even though I do have the 2 cars parked in front of my suburban house with the mostly ignored lawn.

Think outside the box.

Have you looked at folding bikes by Dahon or in the UK Brompton?

This one looks pretty sweet! I didn't even know these existed...

1) Tires that don't go flat! Or, rather, I should say... tires that don't go flat and only cost two or three minimum wage units. $15 US. Yes there are Kevlar tires that are as thin as your thumb and cost $200, hold 100 PSI air pressure, and rarely go flat, but they don't count.

Firstly, those $200 tires go flat just as easily as cheap tires on pavement (i.e. a piece of glass or nail). They are $200 because they're light (by way of having a high thread per inch count) and they're grippy (fancy rubbers and compounds). NOT because they're anymore flat resistant than a cheapo knobby or slick. In fact, I'd argue there more flat resistant for punctures (maybe less for snakebites).

Secondly, if you want a tire that definitely won't go flat, buy a solid rubber tire like your bike had when you were seven. Light, Cheap, Strong - pick two.

Thirdly, tire choice pretty much never affects regular flats (assuming the tire is adequately inflated to begin with). It's the inner tube that goes. Here's a tip, throw a bunch of baby powder in the tire before putting in the inner tube. You're probably flatting because your tire is spinning in the rim and cutting the valve stem.

2) Something to keep the rain and road dirt from putting a big skunk stripe up our backs when riding in wet climates. There are fenders, but they don't work well.

Actually fenders work incredibly well. Just get a set of grandma fenders that cover about half the wheel (less in front) and are really close to the tire. Yeah they look dumb, and your cool seat mounted stick is waay cooler on campus, but you said you want something that works.

3) The ability to fold the frame so that it can fit in the back of a small car or on the bus.

These exist in abundance.

4) Brakes that work in the rain.

Yeah. This one would be nice. Discs work well here ($$$), and so do Magura's with salmon pads (haven't tried the froggies), but most mechanicals suck. (Except when you pair old canti levers and v-brake arms... that'll stop anything).

5) Tires that don't go flat. So important, I'm saying it twice.

See above.

In fact, I HATE bicycle helmets. Their sole purpose is to show all the people driving around that the person on the bike is middle class, has a car at home, can afford a $100 helmet, and is seriously concerned about saving the environment to the point of actually going out into the public on a bicycle.

At this point I think I'm being trolled, but I'll continue.

There are plenty of ANSI and SNELL certified helmets for significantly less than $100. Hot damn, I even found you one using Canadian Dollars. The Adrenaline 2 is on sale for $20 and is plenty safe. Hardly seems to justify the yuppie status trophy you want to place on it.

Sure helmets aren't cool looking. BFD, neither are life jackets and designated drivers.

I'll leave the skiing one for the next time, but in the meantime, think about what you'd rather land on if dropped from the sky, fresh powder or a lamp-post/ford pickup/car door/concrete curb and when you're done there, remember that traffic (on streets, trails, and parks) move both ways and don't expect to see you there.

Jeff

Why don't you look into a folding bicycle? I see people with them on the train all the time and you can get one for about $200. Maybe less used. They'll fold up small enough to carry if you need to. Here in San Francisco folding bikes are allowed on the trains at all times (if they are folded up) as opposed to regular bikes which aren't allowed during rush hours.

Not sure what this is about...topless women in leather pants. (SFW)

What's cooler than a Toyota Matrix, all decked out in racing stickers?

Oh yeah, baby...Matrix, the board game

How about the Matrix folding bike? Before or after

The Vic-20 fans out there might appreciate a look at the Matrix game for that platform.

Flashback to math class! Matrix multiplication!

So you see, taco, you're only limited by your imagination. Of course, that could be like saying your writing is limited by your spelling and grammar but still...maybe someone can help you come up with something better.

Not sure what this is about...topless women in leather pants. (SFW)

What's cooler than a Toyota Matrix, all decked out in racing stickers?

Oh yeah, baby...Matrix, the board game

How about the Matrix folding bike? Before or after

The Vic-20 fans out there might appreciate a look at the Matrix game for that platform.

Flashback to math class! Matrix multiplication!

So you see, taco, you're only limited by your imagination. Of course, that could be like saying your writing is limited by your spelling and grammar but still...maybe someone can help you come up with something better.

Actually, we already have this system. In fact, the personal vehicles are cheaper, healthier, and don't have any parking problems. You can see the personal vehicles here. And here is more information about one of the many US rail systems that are compatible with those personal vehicles.