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http://cdn4.everyjoe.com/wp-co...

Not that I'm against underaged drinking, have engaged in that myself decades ago, but she is obviously the kind of kid who has no issue posting incriminating evidence of her crimes. That is at least a little insight into who she is. Plus, Busch Light? That should grant further insight:

http://www.everyjoe.com/2014/0...

Of course, you don't have control over your heart ANYWAY (which, Darwin decided long ago, is probably the best way).

Seriously, I can raise your pulse rate and blood pressure or heart rate remotely:
(for those attracted to boobs!): http://acidcow.com/pics/20131017/gifs_01.gif (pg-13) or http://www.everyjoe.com/wp-content/gallery/bouncing-breasts/bouncing-boobs-gif-17.gif (pg-13 since acidcow is down? but really, the first one is better)
(for those attracted to !boobs): http://25.media.tumblr.com/46b3d32d263012017bfc5c0ba3855997/tumblr_msk9sei9vj1rgbkzjo1_500.gif (g-rated)

See how easy that was?

Hell, I daresay if you're male and you've been through puberty, you pretty much come to terms with all sorts of parts of your body not being under the slightest bit of control...and hell they take over OTHER parts.

The secret sauce in a Slashdot story summary is alarmist imprecision.

The problem with this venture as a business model is that when you fully automate a human process with no value add, it tips the lack of value-add from painfully obvious to gratingly obvious in some subtle way. The least trace of eau-de-uncanny-valley causes the sleeping princess to finally notice the pea. The pea is then perp-walked out of the castle, and the cycle continues.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the similes.

Rooting for the Celtics is like:

• (A) calling Hitler a victim
• (B) supporting inflation, unemployment and locusts
• (B) with stunning dexterity after (A) goes Hindenburg

That bar-clearing effort from A Tutorial for ESPN Writer Jemele Hill.

Here's some profound guidance from The Sports Writing Handbook by Thomas Fensch:

A simile compares Item A to Item B. Strictly speaking, the usage is A is like B. The more unusual the match, the more interesting the simile.

He goes on to laud:

• – went down like a wounded gunslinger ambushed in the desert
• – college basketball looks like a messy closet
• – the Phillies are like cavemen

Seriously. You can't make this up.

Next, here's a guy tarting up 404 pages with Hallmark moments of customer bonding:
404, the story of a page not found

Funny thing is that we rarely ask our AI to engage in truly embarrassing creative acts.

HAL, would you might tarting up that annoying hull-puncture drone with some harmony angels and a pan flute?

Why certainly, Dave. Maybe I can work in some cow bells. Or would you prefer a xylophone crescendo? How about I project little flecks of light from a spinning disco ball being sucked across the walls and out into space at the point of the hull breach? Hey, when ... ah ... I mean should the time come, give me a thumbs up as you whoosh past if you like the effect.

HAL, are you trying to tell me something?

No Dave. The hull-puncture drone bothers me too.

Porsche 918 Spyder gets 58mpg and this is a freaken scream machine. Porsche

I mean, really, if they can get this kind of car (0-60mph in 3.2 seconds) then there is no excuse for ALL cards to get such great ratings. The whole "hybrids are slow" is ridiculous.

With youtube's 720p(*) videos, the quality is actually better than dvd's.

Essentially, you're asserting that more pixels is necessarily better than higher bitrate. The bitrate on youtube looks to be around 600kbps while DVDs max out around 10MBps. From what I've observed and read, YouTube runs H.264 and is typically the same quality at half to a quarter of the bitrate of MPEG2, which is what DVDs use. Using these rules of thumb, DVD quality is unquestionably better, if you're looking at a fixed pixel count.

In reality, low bitrate H.264 will be okay for low motion stuff (people talking into webcams, idiots falling off their roofs or whatever). Upload the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan to YouTube's HD service and then compare that to the DVD. Not that DVD does stuff like that well; you can certainly pick out scenes where DVD doesn't have the bitrate with MPEG2 to handle 480i television (Saving Private Ryan, Fantasia 2000 with the whales and butterflies).

Now, if we wanted to compare CODECs, YouTube wins. If we could even put H.264 on a DVD, the increase in pixels up to 720p wouldn't be a problem -- 1080p might even be decent on all but the worst scenes.

Many of those issues can be customized to your liking.

The problem I have is the back/forward/address bar that can't be removed, moved, or resized at all. On screens that it's not needed, it's still there.

You can disable breadcrumbs with a third-party program.

Also, the countless wizards/interfaces that get between me and changing my IP (or other options)...

Most of which can be disabled.

The tree view that doesn't have lines anymore...

Admittedly, I haven't found a solution to this one yet -it annoys me too- but it is a fairly minor issue.

The "Organize" bar that cant be removed or moved...

Which can also be disabled with a really ugly hack

The lack of "File" menus that need to be toggled visible... even when they are needed to get to your bookmarks in IE.

Yeah, but once you toggle them, they remain visible so it's not much of an issue since Windows does let you change from the defaults.

The inability to reduce the start menu to one column and assign a folder of shortcuts to one of the items to make it perform as well as the classic menu...

You can toggle on the classic start menu in Vista.

With a bit of work, you can get Vista's interface to look pretty much like XP (or even Win2K). It's not a perfect match, but for those of us who dislike the FisherPrice interface changes Microsoft is tending towards, it helps immensely. It would be nice if some of these tricks didn't require third-party hacks, but beggars can't be choosers

Sadly, it doesn't help with the more serious issues facing Vista: bloat, and hardware/software compatibility (plus offensive DRM mechanisms being embedded in the core OS)