Slashdot Mirror

Solving this problem involves first appeasing each of these powerful minions of Satan, and then minimizing their contact. A beautiful redhaired woman, between 25 and 30, must masturbate to orgasm over the network hub while picking the scabs off of the ass of the janitor of the building. Both should be dressed in simple, plain white garments. All the while, the network administrators, help-desk personnell and technicians should sing "Danny Boy". This should appease both of the hell-spawn simultaneously. After this, hang a dried frog from each printer to encourage the presence of the imp Chuntici, who will act as intermediary between the rival spirits.

Of course, the whole poblem could be solved much more simply by using a REAL OPERATING SYSTEM on our servers and workstations, but management never listens to me.

I think the real April Fool's Joke is that all the stories posted by CmdrTaco aren't *really* from CmdrTaco. It's someone else masquerading as him...

Perhaps it's The Satanic SysAdmins

I USE LINUX, BECAUSE I WORSHIP SATAN, YOU JESUS FREAKS CAN GO BACK TO WINDOWS FOR ALL I CARE.

They missed out 'penguins' from that list.

Not that there's anything wrong with being obsessed with satanic penguin death cults ... worship the penguin, or die!
--

This is a directive to all /. linux/bsd/UNIX proponents (of which I am a member.): Do not start a big thread here. We all know that a Real Operating System will not be brought down by anything unless it is run by root.

to keep the raving masses happy, I will try to say what everybody will say. (gee, this is sounding really bad. I'm not trying to censor people, just to stop them wasting their time raving about Linux. sorry.)

Anyway, most operating systems use various schemes to stop random users from bringing down the machine. Most sensible OS designers see the ability to crash the system as a Bad Thing. Only the superuser should be able to do that, and even then only be explicitly using interfaces to the stuff that should be mucked with carefully. There are a couple of "modern" OSes which don't live up to this standard, but the majority of OSes don't crash easily from bad programs. The program goes down, but it cant touch the rest of the system. You should look into this sometime, if you find that your OS does let itself be crashed easily.

oh yeah, and tux rules, so does devil dude (whatever the BSD mascot is called).

If you are really concerned about not crashing, there are several things you could do. Most are well known and rational, but some aren't :)

If I screwed up some here, then I won't be mad if you post more in this thread. Just this is not the place for _another_ OS flameout.
#define X(x,y) x##y

I tried to load www.god.com . No server responded. On the other hand www.satan.com works.....sorta....It seems the Evil One spraypainted some graffitti on the Wev and exited hastily. Then it occurred to me that maybe the Personification Of Good wasn't out for profit so I tried www.god.org . Sure enough a page loaded but it was titled "God.org for sale" . The page's only text was "Coming soon, a site for all." Seems like Christianity V2.0 is going to work something like a Spielburg movie. The enigmatic www.satan.org contains a representation of Satan's Unix minion the BSD Daemon.....duh! of course! What else would Satan use to establish his web presence? And finally I found my own religion at satanic.org .

Is this /.? Or bad-attitude?

There's definately a move to put more diverse products into the market at SGI. And they've put good stuff out the door, but haven't been able to sell it in the volume necessary to pull a decent margin.

So how about 10) A bunch of people who played marketing experts on an Indy Cam find themselves unemployed on Tuesday and end up at Microsoft. A few years later, Linus achieves global domination. Even better, the engineers bought off by NetApp are revealed to have been working for satanic.org, a super-secret operations group of the ILUG. Netapp falls to (Linux MIPS based) Cobalt, and the penguin government purchases large numbers of big Onyx3's to model plans for paving Canada in realtime 3D. Said marketing experts are branded with a g and are exiled to Seattle without umbrellas.


Now is that b-a or g-a?

Yep, great image. I first saw it over at satanic.org. I hope the t-shirt is being produced by the original artist; I would hate to think that he's getting ripped off.

www.satanic.org