Domain: satirewire.com
Stories and comments across the archive that link to satirewire.com.
Comments · 295
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Re: Online metal companies hit hard
the hardest hit companies are online metal companies. Yes, people selling iron, aluminium, nickel and whatnot.
Argh. I guess we should blame Alcoa's Eluminum, "the new metal for a new age". -
SatireWire: interview with Jeeves
http://www.satirewire.com/features/satire-jeevesi
n terview.shtml
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
What?"I never heard of it, have you?" Keyes asks. (I hadn't). She believes Acme should explain GPS (and AirIQ in particular) to customers. She believes it discriminates against technological have-nots and especially poorer people.
"More important is the issue of due process," says Keyes. "There's no system for challenging this fine. At least when you get a ticket, the court system allows you to contest it." She claims the speeding charges are constitutionally invalid and go against public policy
Riiiight.....I got news for this fellow, in the US, individuals are constitutional protectioned is exactly zero ways from companies. Zero. This is a clear cut case of contract law, nothing more nothing less.
The only civil rights laws I know of that deal with companies have to do with equal treatment and access based on Race, Sex and Disabilities. Last time I checked, lack of technological prowness was not considered a and technogical access is not a basic human right.
The fees were in the contract, he signed it. The only arguement is whether the contract was valid or invalid. This has nothing to do with rights.
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General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
--
mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
--
mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
General excellence, online commentary: humourSatireWire.
They have their own list of popular articles, and
.company craziness, but just from the homepage comes these gems: SETI@home, house bonds, web profanity, Dell says, communists!, corporate power, and from their archives: capitalism!, Jakob Nielsen, more onion than the onion, famous cubist site, Nader, USentric... Jezus, I'm gonna stop adding links now, otherwise this post could be a copyright violation of their archives page.
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mrBlond (I don't email from Malaysia) -
Much More Alarming Are The Prostidots...http://www.satirewire.com/features/prostidots.sht
m lJust a few of their findings:
...The scene outside the offices of Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers, home to the legendary VC John Doerr..Day and night, groups of eager dot-com executives, male and female, loiter near the entrance. They are waiting for a prospective backer, what they've come to call a "John Doerr." Whenever one of the venture partners walks by, the soliciting begins:
"Hey, money boy, you want No. 1 clicky-clicky?"
"Say baby, you've got the seed I need!"
The partners usually ignore these crass come-ons, and for most hopefuls, the day ends at around 11 p.m. Then they are picked up in a van driven by their "management consultant," usually the head of a Net incubator that has several companies it's trying to get funded...
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"And the beast shall be made legion. Its numbers shall be increased a thousand thousand fold." -
Oops
I mean SatireWire of course.
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Why not Microsoft?
I'd like to know why microsoft.com hasn't been cracked or DDoSed yet. After all, its official that everyone, especially the geeks capable of such cracks, hate Microsoft. You'd think it would get attacked every day.
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Re:UNIX/X programmers need to take some UI trainin
Not taken as flamebait here, don't worry. I agree with your gripes about X.
I can't say the opposite for Windows, though.
Today I installed DirectX 8 onto Windows, and after installing (using totally bizarre dialogs to give me the progress, and no indication as to how far through the whole process it had got), I expected the normal "Do you want to restart Windows now? (Yes/No)", I got "Press OK to restart Windows (OK)".
This is not just a break from the standard "Ohmigod! Something changed, reboot now or later" dialog, it would force many users into rebooting immediately, regardless of whether or not that was convenient.And don't get me started on the "File | Save" and "File | Open" dialogs. It's kind of convenient to create directories using Save, but it's not just a Save dialog anymore. More so with "File | Open"
.Whenever I've installed a new app on my mother's PC, I get phone calls saying, "How do I open a file in app X?", to which I reply, "How do you do it in Word?" ... "File | Open" ... "So how do you do it in app X?" ... "Dunno" ... "Take a wild guess" ... "Dunno" ... "File | Open" ... "Oh, I see".In my experience, nothing is intuitive to the genuinely confused. See SatireWire for details.
#include <stddiscl.h>
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Yes, it's tougher for them to get any playThey are indeed putting out less, this is well-known. Here is an excerpt of the most relevant research.
...The scene outside the offices of Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers, home to the legendary VC John Doerr, illustrates the sad story. Day and night, groups of eager dot-com executives, male and female, loiter near the entrance. They are waiting for a prospective backer, what they've come to call a "John Doerr." Whenever one of the venture partners walks by, the soliciting begins:"Hey, money boy, you want No. 1 clicky-clicky?"
"Say baby, you've got the seed I need!"
The partners usually ignore these crass come-ons, and for most hopefuls, the day ends at around 11 p.m. Then they are picked up in a van driven by their "management consultant," usually the head of a Net incubator that has several companies it's trying to get funded..."
Full story at www.satirewire.com/features/prostidots.shtml
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"And the beast shall be made legion. Its numbers shall be increased a thousand thousand fold." -
Sounds like a job for...
Sally Struthers!
It doesn't have to be this way. -
This is old news...
This point was clearly made before as referenced by this article.
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Alien Computers == too much TV
Well, I figured since Slashdot was full of useless crap today, maybe Satire Wire would have actual news... nix on that also.
Guess I'll just have to sit and wonder whether or not I chose the proper processor architecture for interfacing with aliens that don't exist. -
Re:Broken link...
Sorry for the REDUNDANT link.
Hemos had make us all look like some FP kiddies,... But he is one too :)))
Anyway you could recommend the story to everybody with this link http://www.satirewire.com/cgibin/birdcast.cgi -
Broken link...
Try this http://www.satirewire.com/news/0103/outlook.shtml
The page is slashdoted anyway...
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This link maybe?
here?
I removed the " -
Bigger Better ads?This sort of ties in with that story from the other week about the Advertising council (?) proposing more varied and unusual ad types.
As long as they don't wind up like that story in Satirewire. It is enough to make me go on a virtual shooting spree
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Bigger Better ads?This sort of ties in with that story from the other week about the Advertising council (?) proposing more varied and unusual ad types.
As long as they don't wind up like that story in Satirewire. It is enough to make me go on a virtual shooting spree
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Correlation Found...
March 2000: Correlation Found Between Adding Banner Ads to a Web Site and Incrased Traffic
Researchers have detected a correlation between adding more banner ads to a news web site and subsequent incrases in traffic.
"I did a least-squares fit for traffic changes versus banner ad density changes over the last month, and even though the points I could see to be slowly going down with increased banner ads, the line had a distincly positive slope", said high school student William Peterson. "Clearly, adding banner ads to an existing news website increases traffic."
Advertisers welcomed this news. "We expect to see an increase in <strike>percent of web tracked</strike> banner ad sales this quarter", said Paul Brooks of DoubleClick, Inc.(www.doubleclick.com).
Some content providers who recieve most of their revenue through advertising other sites were less ecstatic, however.
"This incrase in traffic seems to be mostly due to the Slashdot effect, which is notorious for sending low-quality traffic to our sites," said Eliza Gregson of SatireWire (www.satirewire.com).
Slashdot (www.slashdot.org) is a fun and useful news-and-discussion site frequented by computer nerds. SatireWire is a "humor" site that usually isn't funny.
Gregson continued, "Sure, those users are curious and click on ads, but they never buy anything because they think advertising is 'evil' and out to 'trick' them into buying products. Our advertisers use this spike of anti-corporatist users in calculating our CPM [revenue per thousand banner impressions], and so over the next few months we end up getting less banner ad revenue."
Popular slashdot community members "Signal 11" and "Bruce Perens" were not available for comment. -
Correlation Found...
March 2000: Correlation Found Between Adding Banner Ads to a Web Site and Incrased Traffic
Researchers have detected a correlation between adding more banner ads to a news web site and subsequent incrases in traffic.
"I did a least-squares fit for traffic changes versus banner ad density changes over the last month, and even though the points I could see to be slowly going down with increased banner ads, the line had a distincly positive slope", said high school student William Peterson. "Clearly, adding banner ads to an existing news website increases traffic."
Advertisers welcomed this news. "We expect to see an increase in <strike>percent of web tracked</strike> banner ad sales this quarter", said Paul Brooks of DoubleClick, Inc.(www.doubleclick.com).
Some content providers who recieve most of their revenue through advertising other sites were less ecstatic, however.
"This incrase in traffic seems to be mostly due to the Slashdot effect, which is notorious for sending low-quality traffic to our sites," said Eliza Gregson of SatireWire (www.satirewire.com).
Slashdot (www.slashdot.org) is a fun and useful news-and-discussion site frequented by computer nerds. SatireWire is a "humor" site that usually isn't funny.
Gregson continued, "Sure, those users are curious and click on ads, but they never buy anything because they think advertising is 'evil' and out to 'trick' them into buying products. Our advertisers use this spike of anti-corporatist users in calculating our CPM [revenue per thousand banner impressions], and so over the next few months we end up getting less banner ad revenue."
Popular slashdot community members "Signal 11" and "Bruce Perens" were not available for comment. -
I wouldn't donate to your site
No offense lad, but
a) the html is a bit too garish for my tastes and
b) it's truly sad that this is the #1 ranked guy on your site.
It's possible that your site just isn't a good test case for this idea. Satirewire on the other hand...
--Shoeboy -
Re:In Related News . . .
The satirical version of the story is available here. And it even quotes Hemos:
"We're talking about Microsoft, for God's sake, not a bunch of utopian, open source geeks like us."
"No, we all have to take this for what it is," he added, "the cold, hard truth. Damn their probity." -
Taking the piss out of msft
This story from SatireWire does the trick.
MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP NOW
Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) -- Chastened Linux executives pledged to stop their "crazy dreaming" and disband their efforts Wednesday after an executive from Microsoft proclaimed Linux was doomed, and openly questioned whether the free, rival operating system should exist.Particularly liked this bit:
"The startling reprimand from Redmond sent shockwaves throughout the Linux industry, which was doubly disappointed because it had been steadily gaining share on Microsoft's operating systems." -
Wonder what Jobs thinks of Ginger?
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Lame
A very lame rip-off of Satirewire. A bit more originality next time please...
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Funnier than ZDnet
Here's a similarly themed, but funnier, article from Satirewire.com.
Fewer ads, as well.
While you are there, check out their George W. Bush weblog--it's really witty. -
Funnier than ZDnet
Here's a similarly themed, but funnier, article from Satirewire.com.
Fewer ads, as well.
While you are there, check out their George W. Bush weblog--it's really witty. -
Re:Funny Ask Jeeves story
Here is an even funnier Ask Jeeves story, or maybe a proof of concept for what you friend was talking about.
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All that international shit
But there is no knowledge people in Europe - only when you come visit us with nice caps and sneakers. We people of Europe not so smart as you clevar people of America. WE LOVE YOU - you are SO clevar people.
burger-snaskere -
Re:What I'm Afriad Of
Problems: too US-centric, and too difficult to police. If J Random 1337 w4r3z d00d (a resident of, say, the UK) puts up his '1337 warez site complete with the standard porn banners, but puts meta tags up saying it's rated the same as the Teletubbies site, who can stop him? Do you then go the route of Australia and tell all the ISPs in the US to block certain websites? I suppose it would be a solution to this problem.
Even when they're in the US, you're still going to have to track them down, etc; if their pages are hosted outside the US, tough bikkies.
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Re:I don't think so..
The biggest problem here is that Quimby doesn't seem to realize that you can't take real money from people who don't have any real money. You might as well launch an assault against Hasbro's printers as steal Canadian dollars.
(Hasbro owns Parker Brothers, makers of Monopoly. See SatireWire for details on Hasbro's new printers.)