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WIPO is known for being so phenomenally out of touch as to lecture CERN on its failure to monetize the web.

Have you a link?

I don't have one myself, but I do know specifically that CERN did consider patenting the Web, but decided to Set The Series Of Tubes Free specifically so it could benefit humanity.

To the best of my knowledge, Tim-Berners Lee never made a dime off of it. I haven't followed his career lately, but for at least quite a long time after the Web became hugely popular, he was still a rather modestly-paid CERN staff member.

Let me create a couple placeholders:

• World Intellection Property Organization at Solving the Software Problem Hall of Shame
• The Problem of Intellectual Property

Those are just empty Apache directory listings for now. I'll publish proper markup after I do some literature research. Posting placeholder directories like I do all over Creation primes the SEO Pumps.

Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password

WIPO is known for being so phenomenally out of touch as to lecture CERN on its failure to monetize the web.

Have you a link?

I don't have one myself, but I do know specifically that CERN did consider patenting the Web, but decided to Set The Series Of Tubes Free specifically so it could benefit humanity.

To the best of my knowledge, Tim-Berners Lee never made a dime off of it. I haven't followed his career lately, but for at least quite a long time after the Web became hugely popular, he was still a rather modestly-paid CERN staff member.

Let me create a couple placeholders:

• World Intellection Property Organization at Solving the Software Problem Hall of Shame
• The Problem of Intellectual Property

Those are just empty Apache directory listings for now. I'll publish proper markup after I do some literature research. Posting placeholder directories like I do all over Creation primes the SEO Pumps.

Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password

WIPO is known for being so phenomenally out of touch as to lecture CERN on its failure to monetize the web.

Have you a link?

I don't have one myself, but I do know specifically that CERN did consider patenting the Web, but decided to Set The Series Of Tubes Free specifically so it could benefit humanity.

To the best of my knowledge, Tim-Berners Lee never made a dime off of it. I haven't followed his career lately, but for at least quite a long time after the Web became hugely popular, he was still a rather modestly-paid CERN staff member.

Let me create a couple placeholders:

• World Intellection Property Organization at Solving the Software Problem Hall of Shame
• The Problem of Intellectual Property

Those are just empty Apache directory listings for now. I'll publish proper markup after I do some literature research. Posting placeholder directories like I do all over Creation primes the SEO Pumps.

Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password

WIPO is known for being so phenomenally out of touch as to lecture CERN on its failure to monetize the web.

Have you a link?

I don't have one myself, but I do know specifically that CERN did consider patenting the Web, but decided to Set The Series Of Tubes Free specifically so it could benefit humanity.

To the best of my knowledge, Tim-Berners Lee never made a dime off of it. I haven't followed his career lately, but for at least quite a long time after the Web became hugely popular, he was still a rather modestly-paid CERN staff member.

Let me create a couple placeholders:

• World Intellection Property Organization at Solving the Software Problem Hall of Shame
• The Problem of Intellectual Property

Those are just empty Apache directory listings for now. I'll publish proper markup after I do some literature research. Posting placeholder directories like I do all over Creation primes the SEO Pumps.

Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password

• Michael David Crawford

I'm all over The Series of Tubes as I published my first site in 1994, and was on Usenet and mailing lists long before that.

out of 27,300,000 total hits we have at Number Ten and so stil on the first page:

Startup Weekend entrepreneurial event on alert after man threatens explosions, guns
by Molly Young, The Oregonian

More than 150 people at the Startup Weekend entrepreneurial event at Portland State University are on what event organizers described as a "lockdown" after a man who was asked to leave this morning later made threats of violence.

Six police officers were at the PSU Business Accelerator building on 2828 S.W. Corbett Ave. this afternoon.

After the man, Michael David Crawford, was removed this morning, he apparently threatened violence, explosions and guns, co-organizer Jeff Martens told participants at an afternoon meeting announcing the "lockdown." The threats were made on a Twitter account using the hashtag of the event, though the tweets appear to have been deleted.

Participants are allowed to enter and leave through one entrance, and Portland police said the event was not on an official lockdown.

Is British Airways going to treat me like family after they read that?

Here's What Really Happened.

The reason I haven't sued the Startup Weekend corporation, The Oregonian and, because they deleted exculpatory evidence from their site, Twitter for defamation is not because I don't want to or because I don't think I'd win metric boatloads of damages, but because I've been busy fixing up my websites. They were, at least for a whiile, a multitude of sins.

What I was really referring to on Twitter when I reported that I knew a straightforward way that I myself, from the comfort of my own home, could "make a large industrial facility detonate like a Bunker Buster Bomb" is lucidly explained in Jonathan Swift Sticks it to the Man.

ProTip: Obama and whoever the Prime Minister of Israel fucked up royally when they authorized StuxNet. Just you wait until the Iranians download their free eval copy of the Trihedral Engineering VTS - Visual Tag System - Human Machine Interface / Supervisory Control And Data Acquisition industrial control system software.

HMI / SCADA just about has to be the single most human-life critical software known to man. Wouldn't you think they'd Read The FIne Manual before - at the time I was hired - writing a half million lines of what Trihedral founder Glenn Wadden, a brilliant industrial engineer but an incompetent coder, described as a million line program that's only half complete?

Michael David Crawford, who looks forward to lighting smuggled Cuban cigars with burning hundred dollar bills.

• Michael David Crawford

I'm all over The Series of Tubes as I published my first site in 1994, and was on Usenet and mailing lists long before that.

out of 27,300,000 total hits we have at Number Ten and so stil on the first page:

Startup Weekend entrepreneurial event on alert after man threatens explosions, guns
by Molly Young, The Oregonian

More than 150 people at the Startup Weekend entrepreneurial event at Portland State University are on what event organizers described as a "lockdown" after a man who was asked to leave this morning later made threats of violence.

Six police officers were at the PSU Business Accelerator building on 2828 S.W. Corbett Ave. this afternoon.

After the man, Michael David Crawford, was removed this morning, he apparently threatened violence, explosions and guns, co-organizer Jeff Martens told participants at an afternoon meeting announcing the "lockdown." The threats were made on a Twitter account using the hashtag of the event, though the tweets appear to have been deleted.

Participants are allowed to enter and leave through one entrance, and Portland police said the event was not on an official lockdown.

Is British Airways going to treat me like family after they read that?

Here's What Really Happened.

The reason I haven't sued the Startup Weekend corporation, The Oregonian and, because they deleted exculpatory evidence from their site, Twitter for defamation is not because I don't want to or because I don't think I'd win metric boatloads of damages, but because I've been busy fixing up my websites. They were, at least for a whiile, a multitude of sins.

What I was really referring to on Twitter when I reported that I knew a straightforward way that I myself, from the comfort of my own home, could "make a large industrial facility detonate like a Bunker Buster Bomb" is lucidly explained in Jonathan Swift Sticks it to the Man.

ProTip: Obama and whoever the Prime Minister of Israel fucked up royally when they authorized StuxNet. Just you wait until the Iranians download their free eval copy of the Trihedral Engineering VTS - Visual Tag System - Human Machine Interface / Supervisory Control And Data Acquisition industrial control system software.

HMI / SCADA just about has to be the single most human-life critical software known to man. Wouldn't you think they'd Read The FIne Manual before - at the time I was hired - writing a half million lines of what Trihedral founder Glenn Wadden, a brilliant industrial engineer but an incompetent coder, described as a million line program that's only half complete?

Michael David Crawford, who looks forward to lighting smuggled Cuban cigars with burning hundred dollar bills.

... call The Software Problem

Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one.

Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change.

I haven't written up Burson-Marsteller yet, but I will Right Here over the next day or two. That's just a placeholder directory for now - it gets you a default Apache index page - but I just updated the sitemap at Solving the Software Problem, so all the search engines - not just Google, but also Bing (!), Yahoo, Baidu, SoSo, Yandex, Seznam and so on - will be picking it up over the next few days.

Bring It On, You Ignorant Mother Fuckers!

-- Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password.

... call The Software Problem

Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one.

Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change.

I haven't written up Burson-Marsteller yet, but I will Right Here over the next day or two. That's just a placeholder directory for now - it gets you a default Apache index page - but I just updated the sitemap at Solving the Software Problem, so all the search engines - not just Google, but also Bing (!), Yahoo, Baidu, SoSo, Yandex, Seznam and so on - will be picking it up over the next few days.

Bring It On, You Ignorant Mother Fuckers!

-- Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password.

... call The Software Problem

Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one.

Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change.

I haven't written up Burson-Marsteller yet, but I will Right Here over the next day or two. That's just a placeholder directory for now - it gets you a default Apache index page - but I just updated the sitemap at Solving the Software Problem, so all the search engines - not just Google, but also Bing (!), Yahoo, Baidu, SoSo, Yandex, Seznam and so on - will be picking it up over the next few days.

Bring It On, You Ignorant Mother Fuckers!

-- Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password.

... call The Software Problem

Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one.

Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change.

I haven't written up Burson-Marsteller yet, but I will Right Here over the next day or two. That's just a placeholder directory for now - it gets you a default Apache index page - but I just updated the sitemap at Solving the Software Problem, so all the search engines - not just Google, but also Bing (!), Yahoo, Baidu, SoSo, Yandex, Seznam and so on - will be picking it up over the next few days.

Bring It On, You Ignorant Mother Fuckers!

-- Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password.

... call The Software Problem

Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one.

Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change.

I haven't written up Burson-Marsteller yet, but I will Right Here over the next day or two. That's just a placeholder directory for now - it gets you a default Apache index page - but I just updated the sitemap at Solving the Software Problem, so all the search engines - not just Google, but also Bing (!), Yahoo, Baidu, SoSo, Yandex, Seznam and so on - will be picking it up over the next few days.

Bring It On, You Ignorant Mother Fuckers!

-- Jonathan Swift, who can't be bothered to recover his password.

What actually happened at the Portland Startup Weekend is that they and I got into a furious argument over my desire to rotate amoung the different teams there, a dozen or so, to help each individual team out with whatever problem they might be having. Most were developing their very first iOS App, which in my own experience was incredibly difficult - I required two solid years to develop the insight required to write Cocoa Touch Objective-C code that isn't completely riddled with bugs. Have a look at the end user reviews at the App Store, and you'll see most others have the same problem.

I regard the Startup Weekend as a criminal operation because they duped all those poor idealistic yet hopelessly naive kids into blasting ther new company's most precious trade secrets all over creation on Facebook and Twitter, where, say, Indian, Eastern European and Chinese software developers who were in need of product or service idea could readily pick up their app proposals, then get them to market far faster than any of the Startup Weekend participants could.

There was also no mention whatsoever of the fact that everyone should agree ahead of time what their equity in their new companies should be, as well as what to do were somebody to concieve of a patentable invention as a result of someone else's product proposal. Neither was their any mention of corporate financial concerns, taxation, business licensing and so on.

When I started quite bluntly and openly pointing all this out to the organizers in the plain site of all the participants, they demanded I leave and said they'd give me my seventy five bucks back. I told them they could keep my money, because I wanted to stay at the event so as to keep their participants from getting themselves completely crucified as a result of the Startup Weekend Corporations negligence.

Eventually three of the staff had me surrounded, shouting at me at the tops of their lungs. I demanded that they call the police if they wanted me to leave.
About twenty minutes later, two cops showed up to find me sitting quietly working on my website on my MacBook Pro, wearing a pinstripe business suit.

When the cops and I got outside, I pointed out to them that the Startup Weekend had earned itself a whole bunch of civil lawsuits as a result of what it had done. I asked the cops for their business cards so I could follow up with some more information.

I then walked straight to a WiFi spot and got onto the #pdxsw Twitter hash tag, and startup raking the lot of those dirty bastards over the coals.

Eventually I posted the link to Jonathan Swift Sticks it to the Man, and happened to mention that as a result of the appalling lack of scruples on the part of Bedford, Nova Scotia's TriHedral Engineering, it would be trivially easy not just for myself, but just about anyone with a basic understanding of how computers work to - I Tweeted - "Make a large industrial facility detonate like a bunker buster bomb".

The Iranian Stuxnet worm has been covered extensively by Slashdot. It exploits coding defects in the Siemens Human Machine Interface / Software Control and Data Acquision package - HMI/SCADA - that controls the Iranian Uranium Hexafluoride Gas Turbines that they're using to enrich natural uranium to the point that they could use it for nuclear weapons.

TriHedral's own product VTS is HMI/SCADA as well, but when I worked there in late 1995 and early 1996, I resigned in protest before very long at all, not so much because of their appalling cluelessness into how to write exception-safe C++ code, but because the very instant I started to instruct my far less experienced colleagues as to how to do so, TriHedral founder and president Glenn Wadden - a brilliant industrial control systems engineer, but whose insight into software engineering is far surpassed by your typical bloodletting fluke - specificallly ordered me not to do so.

The r

Dr. Stone was our first-quarter Physics Profession at Caltech in the Fall of 1982, where I was at first an Astronomy Major the, when I realized what I liked about telescopes was making them rather than looking through them, I changed my major to Physics.

Things didn't work out for me in the long run at Caltech, so in the end I graduated from UC Santa Cruz. I don't have my Doctorate yet but I did well in what graduate school I did attend.

Tsutomu Shimomura, of Kevin Mitnick fame and I were close friends at Caltech. Tsutomu and I met at Frosh Camp, the Freshman Orientation carried out at a Summer Camp on Catalina Island, out in the Pacific. It was quite cool.

Did you know that Tsutomu is a nuclear weapons designer, yet never obtained any manner of college degree, let alone a PhD? The chances are pretty good he never graduated high school.

While I graduated high school, my grades were quite poor as I have totally blown off all forms of formal education I have ever had anything to do with.

Caltech doesn't care whether you so much as graduated kindergarten you see, provided you demonstrably have the insight to do original research.

Tsutomu was on the verge of flunking out of Tech as he could never be bothered to do his homework, when the nuclear weapons community got wind of his interest in Theoretical Physics, largely published in colloboration with 1965 Nobel Physics Laureate Richard Feynman. The result was that every weapons lab in the Free World started hurling job offers at him. Tsutomu figured designing Hydrogen Bombs would be quite cool, so he eventually accepted Los Alamos' offer. His first job there, which I believe was unclassified and so openly published, was designing a hardware cellular automaton that was specialized for the purpose of modeling supersonic air flow. One can use it for designing fighter planes or reentry vehicles.

"It costs about the same as a Cray," Tsutomu explained one day, "But it does just that one calculation at a thousand times the speed of a Cray."

MichaelCrawford, who can't be bothered to recover his password.

Look man, guns were invented over a thousand years ago. It's not like it's any kind of secret as to how to make them.

All you require is a small hobbiest-sized lathe and milling machine. Those are quite cool for lots of other kinds of projects.

It happens that I myself am a witness to the execution style murder of an informant to a Methamphetamine Kingpin.

That Kingpin's countryside pharmaceutical manufacturing facility had a machine shop where they manufactured their own fully-automatic machine guns. They had no stamps or serial numbers and so were untraceable if found.

When the poor fucker was discovered talking to the wrong people, the Kingpin had everyone down into his basement, put the guy up against the wall, asked everyone to pay close attention, then opened fire on full auto.

I kept my mouth shut about that for many years, until I spent two solid months completely unable to sleep, overcome with visions of horrible, collosal - yet quite unrealistic disasters, like global nuclear war, comets striking the Earth and the like.

What I finally realized was that I was haunted by my memory of witnessing this murder then telling no one at all about it, so I rang up the Vancouver, Washington Police Department to ask them to take a report, then pass my report to the appropriate authorities. Note that in the US, there is no statute of limitations for first-degree murder, and those kinds of people tend not to change careers a whole lot.

Get This:

Corporal Greg Zimmerman of the VPD flatly refused to even write a report because the murder didn't take place in his jurisdiction, so I threatened to beat him to death with my bare hands for not doing his fucking job as a law enforcement officer.

For this I spent a solid month in the slammer, charged with the Class 3 Felony of threatening the life of a law enforcement officer. I got the case dismissed by representing myself Pro Se, and pointing out to the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney first that he and I would be someday making oral arguments together before the United States Supreme Court, and that it would cost the people of Clark County well over a million dollars to put me back in the slammer.

My name is Jonathan Swift, and I am to solve what I call The Software Problem:

• Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one
• Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change

I welcome your comments, criticisms and flames at swift@softwareproblem.net

Look man, guns were invented over a thousand years ago. It's not like it's any kind of secret as to how to make them.

All you require is a small hobbiest-sized lathe and milling machine. Those are quite cool for lots of other kinds of projects.

It happens that I myself am a witness to the execution style murder of an informant to a Methamphetamine Kingpin.

That Kingpin's countryside pharmaceutical manufacturing facility had a machine shop where they manufactured their own fully-automatic machine guns. They had no stamps or serial numbers and so were untraceable if found.

When the poor fucker was discovered talking to the wrong people, the Kingpin had everyone down into his basement, put the guy up against the wall, asked everyone to pay close attention, then opened fire on full auto.

I kept my mouth shut about that for many years, until I spent two solid months completely unable to sleep, overcome with visions of horrible, collosal - yet quite unrealistic disasters, like global nuclear war, comets striking the Earth and the like.

What I finally realized was that I was haunted by my memory of witnessing this murder then telling no one at all about it, so I rang up the Vancouver, Washington Police Department to ask them to take a report, then pass my report to the appropriate authorities. Note that in the US, there is no statute of limitations for first-degree murder, and those kinds of people tend not to change careers a whole lot.

Get This:

Corporal Greg Zimmerman of the VPD flatly refused to even write a report because the murder didn't take place in his jurisdiction, so I threatened to beat him to death with my bare hands for not doing his fucking job as a law enforcement officer.

For this I spent a solid month in the slammer, charged with the Class 3 Felony of threatening the life of a law enforcement officer. I got the case dismissed by representing myself Pro Se, and pointing out to the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney first that he and I would be someday making oral arguments together before the United States Supreme Court, and that it would cost the people of Clark County well over a million dollars to put me back in the slammer.

My name is Jonathan Swift, and I am to solve what I call The Software Problem:

• Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one
• Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change

I welcome your comments, criticisms and flames at swift@softwareproblem.net

Look man, guns were invented over a thousand years ago. It's not like it's any kind of secret as to how to make them.

All you require is a small hobbiest-sized lathe and milling machine. Those are quite cool for lots of other kinds of projects.

It happens that I myself am a witness to the execution style murder of an informant to a Methamphetamine Kingpin.

That Kingpin's countryside pharmaceutical manufacturing facility had a machine shop where they manufactured their own fully-automatic machine guns. They had no stamps or serial numbers and so were untraceable if found.

When the poor fucker was discovered talking to the wrong people, the Kingpin had everyone down into his basement, put the guy up against the wall, asked everyone to pay close attention, then opened fire on full auto.

I kept my mouth shut about that for many years, until I spent two solid months completely unable to sleep, overcome with visions of horrible, collosal - yet quite unrealistic disasters, like global nuclear war, comets striking the Earth and the like.

What I finally realized was that I was haunted by my memory of witnessing this murder then telling no one at all about it, so I rang up the Vancouver, Washington Police Department to ask them to take a report, then pass my report to the appropriate authorities. Note that in the US, there is no statute of limitations for first-degree murder, and those kinds of people tend not to change careers a whole lot.

Get This:

Corporal Greg Zimmerman of the VPD flatly refused to even write a report because the murder didn't take place in his jurisdiction, so I threatened to beat him to death with my bare hands for not doing his fucking job as a law enforcement officer.

For this I spent a solid month in the slammer, charged with the Class 3 Felony of threatening the life of a law enforcement officer. I got the case dismissed by representing myself Pro Se, and pointing out to the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney first that he and I would be someday making oral arguments together before the United States Supreme Court, and that it would cost the people of Clark County well over a million dollars to put me back in the slammer.

My name is Jonathan Swift, and I am to solve what I call The Software Problem:

• Software failure is fundamentally a human problem, not a technical one
• Purely technical solutions fail to effect truly meaningful and lasting change

I welcome your comments, criticisms and flames at swift@softwareproblem.net

Sergeant Sousa of the San Jose, California Police Department rang me up at work then shouted at me for a solid hour about how he would arrest me for making terrorist threats, when in reality I had but pointed out to the opposing counsel in a civil lawsuit that I was bound to prevail, and further, that I would work to overturn the law behind IRS Section 1706 as being in violation of our constitutional guarantee of equal protection under the law.

He threateningly pointed out that our call was being recorded, so anything I said could be used against me in a court of law. but I had a hard time incriminating myself because every time I tried to speak he angrily shouted at me to shut up and would not let me speak.

I grew weary of his abuse as I had a lot on my plate, so whenever he would pause for breath I would demand that he tell me whether I had committed a crime. if I had, he need not send someone after me as I would drop what I was doing RIGHT NOW so I could drive to his station and have him arrest me.

Despite that it is my right as an American to represent in both civil and criminal court, he threatened to arrest me if I did not retain counsel with the week, then hung up on me.

I continued to represent myself but never heard from him again.

now I'm not so stupid as to actually do without counsel, but I wasn't born yesterday. our dispute simply had not reached the point that I required a lawyer.

It has been about 22 months so even if he could be prosecuted, the statute of limitations may apply. even so, if he would do that to me he would do it to others, so I'm going to find some way to obtain that recording, post it on my site then blast it's link all over Creation.

I do not yet provide full details but you can read more at

http://www.softwareproblem.net/social/color-of-authority/sgt-sousa-can-kiss-my-fat-hairy-ass.html

I'll be posting another essay soon that discusses this in more depth.

if you'd like to drop Sgt Sousa a dime the SJPD nonemergency number is 408 277 8900. from outside the US our country code is 1.

Be sure to let my dear friend now that if my new gig works out I'll be making a generous donation in his name to the Silicon Valley Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union.