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You may also want to take a look at the letter Richard Stallman (the hacker who created GNU, wrote GNU Emacs, the GNU Compiler Collection, and the GNU Debugger, among other things), wrote to the New York Times protesting their misuse of the term "hacker".

You can find his letter at the bottom of this page in The Jargon File.

--Phillip

Yeah too bad when potential customers see the zealots, they will call security.

The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.


Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( <--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

"But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

To be Continued...

Please sir, I request that you publish this in Penthouse Forum. At the very least forward this to RMS since he has so much experience with homosexual geek orgies.

The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.


Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( <--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

"But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

To be Continued...

The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.

Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( <--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

"But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

To be Continued...

The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.


Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( <--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

"But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

To be Continued...

The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.


Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( &lt--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

"But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

To be Continued...

The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.


Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( &lt--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

"But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

To be Continued...

In short, RMS is one of the most prominent figures in the open source community. He founded the and now insists that everything that even sat next to GNU software in the refrigerator must now be called GNU/whatever it used to be called. The fact that this only complicates matters needlessly has been addressed, and I think he's decided to quit it.

If you need to know more than that, see this for a fairly good idea who RMS is.

RMS's homepage is at http://www.stallman.org/

Please Do Not Feed the Trolls. Odds are you're going to get a resonse that purports RMS to be the goatse.cx guy or something. I can neither prove nor disprove these claims, so you'll have to draw your own conclusions.

Tell you something, sonny, nobody is perfect. Not RMS, nor Ghandi or George Washington.

There's just something funny about comparing RMS to Ghandi or Washington.

:wq

Well said. Well enough said that I think you should post it to slashdot as an article, titled "An Open Letter to Richard Stallman", and cc it to rms@stallman.org

Got that address from his home page, and after reading it, I must say, I do have new respect for him ... his ravings about the GNU/Linux thing are still scary in a "watch someone you care about go nuts" sort of way, but that page has *lots* of news and articles written by him about various socio-political issues, most of which don't even have to do with technology. Definitely not the work of a monomaniac.

Don't fret. Stallman is very much into modelling

When you have a crime to investigate, and you have no suspects, where do you start? Obviously you begin by looking at the person or persons who have the most to gain by perpetrating the crime.

This is why we must consider: who had something to gain from the disasterous crimes of September 11th? Obviously not Osama Bin Laden, who would net no financial windfall from the destruction of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Although he has loudly applauded the "terrorist" acts of September 11th and even tacitly taken credit for them, there is no reason to believe that he is anything more than a bandwagon jumper. Being blamed for the destruction of the World Trade Center has done more for his image than any amount of militant Islamic rhetoric.

But if not Bin Laden, then who?

It so happens that on December 11th, "coincidentally" 2 months after the tragedy, Credit Suisse First Boston quietly agreed to pay out US$100 million in order to settle an 18 month old investigation into its handling of certain high-profile technology IPOs (Initial Public Offerings). One of the most controversial amongst these being the IPO of VA Linux Systems, Inc. (LNUX) .

VA Linux Systems, Inc., now known as VA Software, is widely derided as a poster child of the dot-com bust, though inexplicably still in business. At the time of the IPO, VA Linux (Software) shares opened trading at nearly 10 times their $30 offer price, closing the first day of trading at $239.25. This meteoric rise made many early investors rich, strangely on account of a company which purports to sell a hobbyist operating system which can be obtained for free on the Internet. "The It was then that Eric S. Raymond suggested something he had read in a book by Tom Clancy. Crashing two planes into the World Trade Center Plaza would guarantee the destruction of the SEC offices, killing the operatives and possibly a number of SEC investigators at the same time. The plan seemed flawless, and would cost little more than the price of a few plane tickets. In a secret session, the board voted unanimously in favour of Eric's suggestion, and began to put it into action.

VA Software/Linux, at the time of planning the attacks, had no shortage of H1-B visa workers, who they employed for the purpose of writing and improving hacking, encryption, and other terrorist tools for the Linux operating system. It had been decided that a hand-picked few of these foreign H1-B workers would be used as the "patsies" in the operation. A contest was held, and the most zealotous Linux advocates were chosen for this secret assignment, direct from the board of directors. They accepted their mission after being told that, if successful, it would guarantee the adoption of Linux in the desktop market.

Alan Cox was brought into the fold to provide some planning and logistics for the mission. It was he who determined that since there was no adequate flight simulator software for Linux, the patsies would need to train at a flight school in order to pull off the plan successfully. It was also his idea to hijack a third and fourth plane for the purpose of crashing them into Washington D.C., to express his extreme rage over the DMCA, or Digital Millenium Copyright Act. The board of directors agreed with this addition to the plan in the hopes that it would help divert attention from the purpose of the WTC attack.

The H1-B workers were given false identities by using Linux hacking tools. Once they had attended the necessary flight training, they stayed at the Massachusetts home of Richard M. Stallman for a brief "faith building" retreat. During this time spent at the house of Stallman, between the nauseating stench of patchouli, Stallman's incessant, pitiful recorder playing, and Stallman's droning seminars on the grammatical and syntactical accuracy of various statements by Microsoft representatives, the H1-B workers were effectively hypnotized to the point that they were ready to lay down their lives for Free Software. It was then that they departed for Boston's Logan International Airport to board the planes.

(The preceding inside information has been obtained from a credible source close to the VA Linux/Software Board of Directors. He/she is in hiding for obvious reasons in light of this damning evidence, but has presented hard, physical evidence of VA Software/Linux's complicity in the events of 9/11 to federal investigators.)

No, the worrying thing is that even academics are taking their "this is how a worm works, oooh, pretty!" papers and changing them into "Panic! Panic! This is a terrorist threat to national infrastructure! Give us money to combat it now!" papers.

It's unfortunate but unsurprising that everyone is jumping on the homeland-defense bandwagon trying to get money for their pet schemes, regardless of how nutty they were previously considered.

And it's unfortunate that people with a "Are we scared now? We should be" attitude like AgentZ's are egging them on with "I'm scared, protect me, whatever it takes" type of comments.

illustration

Don't like it? Don't run the same operating system as 100 million other people. Monocultures get destroyed by viruses, that's natural.

we need a loud obnoxious voice...

We have one. The difference is the mobization of others behind him or against him in constructive ways. As a whole, we talk more than do. African American lobbies like those you described do more than talk, which lends their leaders more weight.

That would stop The Church of Emacs from spreading the gospel of free software, too.

ROFL RMS must be a troll and /. has fallen for it!(700+ comments) He can't be serious (or else he is severly disturbed and needs some thorazine)! I mean look a the guy. Really, I am cracking up at work.... BTW does RMS have a /. user account or does he post AC....hmmmm

St iGNUcius Picture and it is priceless.... cheers

St iGNUcius Picture and it is priceless.... cheers

How the natives of the north got their name

When Europeans first visited the northern part of North America, they did not know how to survive there. The natives did. So they gave the Europeans advice:

• It's pretty cold out there--better dress up warm!

• Don't tease that polar bear, it might get angry.

• If you want to make it to the next settlement, you should probably take more than one dog.

But the Europeans had no respect for the natives, and ignored their advice. So they kept on wearing insufficient clothing, teasing bears, and travelling with too few dogs. And sometimes they died.

When the natives heard, they said, "I knew it." Eventually they became known as the I-knew-it, or "Inuit".

INUIT! HAHAH!

L01OL0l10Lo0L!

To get a better picture of what your captain would look like in the cockpit.

we never made it to the moon you boob. it was all a vast and deep penetrating conspiracy with key hitters such as RMS and the mexican government.

Someone suggested that DeCSS may not exist if there were a DVD player available for Linux. The MPAA guy argued that all programs written for Linux must be open-sourced, which would compromise what is essentially their security-through-obscurity scheme of handling CSS. And Siva AGREED! Now correct me if I'm wrong - isnt it possible to write programs for Linux that are closed-source?

But not GIFs. (click here to read the bad news about GIFs.)

Your title is odd, bordering on insulting. As for the content of your report, I wonder which movement you are focusing on—the older, ethics-based Free Software movement that speaks to all computer users, or the freedom-dismissing, development methodology-centered Open Source movement which speaks primarily to businesses? Were you aware of the difference between the two movements? Some people use the term "Open Source" without understanding the ramifications of that term. You simply cannot understand what's going on with the Open Source movement until you first understand what drove RMS to make the Free Software movement and what the Free Software movement advocates.

The question is: which vocal, intelligent, [San Francisco] bay area and vicinity OS insiders should be on the show?

A better question to ask is "Who can speak well on the topic we're looking to make our radio show about?" without limiting it to a particular region. There is so much valuable insight to be had from everywhere, it seems silly to limit it to just the SF bay area. A cursory analysis of the Free Software community (which is the same community you're referring to as "Open Source") shows that where people are physically located is irrelevant. RMS would be a good person to include on a discussion of Free Software since he founded the movement (which predates all work done on the Open Source movement by roughly 13 years) and (as far as I know) he lives in or near Boston. If you asked him he might be willing to talk to you.

If you haven't already, please read Congressman Villanueva's letter to Microsoft for some guidance about what you should be talking about on this program (including terminology—notice he talks only of Free Software because that is the movement that jibes with his ethical approach to making sure the government doesn't force its citizens into a single-source software provider by the data formats it chooses). The same issues affect the USA. His analysis is a brilliant denial of Microsoft's lies, so well-worded many have noted it should be required reading. Congressman Villanueva is from Peru. Again I stress: there are all sorts of people all over the world you need to talk to and learn from in order to really understand the Free Software community enough to do a good report.

Have you also considered that many people who talk about "Open Source" don't understand what that means? If you think it's all about seeing the source code, you're wrong. Some of the licenses the Open Source movement advocates support allow proprietary derivatives to be made. This is a major issue for the two movements. But members of the two movements get along too: they work on software projects together and the Open Source movement proponents create a lot of valuable software that are genuinely worthwhile Free Software contributions.

Your post doesn't indicate how much research you've done to understand what's going on, so forgive me if this seems like a repeat of what you already know. I hope you understand the community of developers and users that started in 1984 has more to say than just "don't believe everything Microsoft tells you".

However, this is RMS' personal requirement when accepting a speaking engagement. Actually, other FSF speakers often speak to groups that call themselves "Linux" groups. We ask only that the advertising and press material about our particular speech call the system, GNU/Linux.

Of course, when I and other FSF speakers make a speech, one of the items on our agenda is to ask such groups, as a favor to the GNU project, to change their name and/or documents to say "GNU/Linux" consistently. While it is RMS' personal demand that the name change occur as a term to accept the engagement, the FSF does not, as an organization, demand such name changes. We simply request them.

Comparing it to Microsoft's tactics is out of proportion. FSF firmly stands for free speech rights. We assert your right to call the operating system anything you like; we request as a favor that you call it GNU/Linux.

RMS is a highly sought-after speaker. As it turns out, since he is not (nor never has been) paid a salary by the FSF, he collects speaker fees to help pay for his living expenses. As with any speaker, it's his prerogative to set the terms of his speaking engagements. Indeed, every speaker has his or her own set of requirements. (AAMOF, ESR's are available online.) Personally, I have a rule that there must be vegetarian restaurants that someone can take me to in the towns I visit. Of course, FSF doesn't take a position on vegetarianism, but it's a personal need of mine that I can't ignore---even when I am speaking on behalf of FSF.

While RMS won't come to speak for your group if it's called a "Linux" group, I'd be happy to come, as would many of the other FSF speakers. While I am there, I am, of course, going to ask you to change the name of the group. But, please note the key point here: just because RMS sets a personal rule doesn't mean it is ipso facto FSF policy.

I think that point gets to the center of the problem with Barr's article. It seems to suggest that every position that RMS takes is automatically FSF policy. Of course, as our president and founder, many of RMS' personal positions match FSF policy exactly. But, most of them don't; RMS' personal website is full of personal positions that aren't FSF policy.

Bradley M. Kuhn, Executive Director of the FSF

P.S. Finally, there is a factual error in the article. the GPL is the "General Public License". The G stands for General, not GNU. I usually say "GNU GPL" to make that clear.

He's got root, and might act mean sometimes, but he sure doesn't look square to me!

I'm very impressed that you've spotted things which the thousand-strong Microsoft Legal Team missed. Perhaps you could make some money for yourself by exploiting these vulnerabilities in the GPL?

Please do explain though, why should I just sit back and watch the outcome of the first serious lawsuit challenging the GPL. Surely we're not still waiting for people to challenge the GPL? If it's as easy as you say, I'd have expected to see someone take it to court already...

I don't think Stallman was a cultist. I think the cult follows him, rather than the other way around. You're welcome to argue that point with him though, if you'd like an opportunity to practise your legal arguments.

/me lights blue touch-paper and retires

Further to other Slashdot pieces on the activities of the FSF the BBC reports on a European conference on privacy organised by the FSF.The good news is even the FSF distinguishes between Windows software and homicide; it qoutes FSF's top guru Richard Matthew Stallman as saying: 'Windows is is a way of making money whereas homicide is killing.' The rest of the article is the usual panic-attack about the impact of proprietary software in general, and how this is holding back the software developers throughout the world, according to Richard. Although the article notes the irony that despite all the proprietary software, Linux installations are forecast to grow from 8 million in 2000 to about 20 million by 2005.

You're not off by the level of understanding, though suggesting age is related (not far from 75, myself) might be a bit off. However, you example is smack on the nose! This is what makes explanations and testimonies by Dickie and others very important, as they (he in particular) are fairly good at explaining that in a way even non-computer users can understand.

Well, I did.

Jesus did, too. Jesus knows everything. If you want to know more about Jesus and what a great guy he is, you might want to check out the bible. It's a pretty neat book. If you don't like it, you can always roll big joints with the papers or use it to perform acts of witchcraft.

Please note that Jesus is not to be confused with RMS. They're both dirty hippies who promise salvation, but only the Jeez delivers.

so they have to go down the route of intellectual property ownership, enforcement and RAND (reasonable and non-discriminatory, whatever "reasonable" means) licensing fees.

Licensing terms: what's in a name? Richard Stallman recently objected to our use of the term "reasonable and non-discriminatory" to describe certain classes of software and patent licenses. These licenses, require a payment for the use of the patented technology; the RAND terms just ensure that everybody can use that technology for the same payment. According to Mr. Stallman, the name RAND is inappropriate because:

• 
  
• By requiring a fee for use, the license is clearly discriminatory against free software.
  
  
• This discrimination, of course, is not reasonable.
  

Mr. Stallman's suggested term is "UFO" for "Uniform Fee Only."

RMS is the über-hacker from the MIT AI Lab who largely created Emacs and GCC and founded Project GNU and the Free Software Foundation.

All you need is the GIMP to make your favorite popstar go nude.

During recent renovations to the worlds first and best web-mail system, MicroSoft were kind and talented enough to add a heuristics-based artificial intelligence spam-blocking feature. At first I was sceptical - I mean, I use a sophisticated L.I.N.U.X. system to try and reduce spam, and still I receive around 10-20 spam messages every day. Imagine my suprise the day I peered over a colleague's shoulder to see the work of art that is the new HoTMaiL.NET User Interface. Not only was it exceptionally aesthetically pleasing, but it had a helpful 'Junk-Mail' mailbox to keep precisely that - Junk Mail!!! I proceeded to enquire about this fantastic, energy saving innovation. My co-worker simply could not contain her delight with the system. She confided that since the HoTMaiL revamp, she had received a total of zero unwanted messages, including ones from a mentally unstable transient who had been stalking her for weeks!!

I'm sorry if I rant, or come off as an 'astro-turfer' (whatever that means), but I prefer to think of myself as an evangelist. Simply put, HoTMaiL.NET is the finest e-mail system currently in use, and I would have no problems whatsoever in recommending it to anybody who would rather receive less unwanted mail. I'm sure that when the Netherlands receives access to the civilised Internet, the judge's decision will be overturned as their population migrates to a powerful, easy-to-use system such as MicroSoft's spam filter.

I predict mass acceptance of WANKER linux

Well, I pretty much was just trying to be funny, but since you brought it up....

I don't think holding the world's email hostage is a terribly productive way to go about things. Reichschancellor Ashcroft would probably send you up the river on terrorism charges for that. Some of the more positive geek activities that spring to mind include

1. This geek wrote his own operating system which Microsoft now considers its biggest threat.
2. A few more geeks enabled us "illegally" to watch DVDs with that operating system.
3. A young geek got the whole music industry *all* pissed off with this little program, the offspring of which are the very reason for this discussion.

if it were this picture, that would put the fear of God into me, I'm sure.

When you have a crime to investigate, and you have no suspects, where do you start? Obviously you begin by looking at the person or persons who have the most to gain by perpetrating the crime.

This is why we must consider: who had something to gain from the disasterous crimes of September 11th? Obviously not Osama Bin Laden, who would net no financial windfall from the destruction of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Although he has loudly applauded the "terrorist" acts of September 11th and even tacitly taken credit for them, there is no reason to believe that he is anything more than a bandwagon jumper. Being blamed for the destruction of the World Trade Center has done more for his image than any amount of militant Islamic rhetoric.

But if not Bin Laden, then who?

It so happens that on December 11th, "coincidentally" 2 months after the tragedy, Credit Suisse First Boston quietly agreed to pay out US$100 million in order to settle an 18 month old investigation into its handling of certain high-profile technology IPOs (Initial Public Offerings). One of the most controversial amongst these being the IPO of VA Linux Systems, Inc. (LNUX) .

VA Linux Systems, Inc., now known as VA Software, is widely derided as a poster child of the dot-com bust, though inexplicably still in business. At the time of the IPO, VA Linux (Software) shares opened trading at nearly 10 times their $30 offer price, closing the first day of trading at $239.25. This meteoric rise made many early investors rich, strangely on account of a company which purports to sell a hobbyist operating system which can be obtained for free on the Internet. "The VA Linux initial public offering is a prime example of market manipulation in an IPO by investment banks, their customers and the issuing firm," said Steven Schulman, a partner in the law firm Milberg Weiss Bershad Hynes & Lerach, which specializes in filing shareholder suits.

"Because certain favored customers of the investment banks agreed to buy shares in a new issue at inflated prices in the aftermarket (in return for getting an allocation of the shares at the initial offering price) the share prices to which the IPO eventually soared were actually driven by artificial market forces," continues Schulman.

But what does the VA Software (Linux) IPO have to do with the attacks on September 11th, and what has that to do with the Credit Suisse settlement? Well, considering that VA Linux (Software) got CSFB into trouble in the first place, it stands to reason that the VA Linux (Software) Board of Directors were complicit in the stock fraud from beginning to end. As the investigation progressed against CSFB, the unscrupulous VA Software/Linux executives, their pockets bulging with filthy lucre plundered from trusting, hard-working investors, must have realized that their days in the country club were numbered if the SEC discovered their wrongdoings.

The SEC, or Securities Exchange Commission, is a federal regulatory agency, and cannot be bribed. Therefore, with a possible stint in federal prison looming large, Larry Augustin and the rest of the crooks, including outspoken gun violence advocate Eric S. Raymond, decided to undertake more active means to halt the investigation.

The Plan

It so happened that all the evidence in the CSFB/VA Linux investigation was held at the SEC Northeast Regional Office in Manhattan. More specifically, 7 World Trade Center, Suite 1300. The board decided that a simple burglary or arson attempt would not be satisfactory to destroy the evidence; anything so simple had a significant chance of being botched, and regardless of success would leave too many witnesses or living accomplices.

It was then that Eric S. Raymond suggested something he had read in a book by Tom Clancy. Crashing two planes into the World Trade Center Plaza would guarantee the destruction of the SEC offices, killing the operatives and possibly a number of SEC investigators at the same time. The plan seemed flawless, and would cost little more than the price of a few plane tickets. In a secret session, the board voted unanimously in favour of Eric's suggestion, and began to put it into action.

VA Software/Linux, at the time of planning the attacks, had no shortage of H1-B visa workers, who they employed for the purpose of writing and improving hacking, encryption, and other terrorist tools for the Linux operating system. It had been decided that a hand-picked few of these foreign H1-B workers would be used as the "patsies" in the operation. A contest was held, and the most zealotous Linux advocates were chosen for this secret assignment, direct from the board of directors. They accepted their mission after being told that, if successful, it would guarantee the adoption of Linux in the desktop market.

Alan Cox was brought into the fold to provide some planning and logistics for the mission. It was he who determined that since there was no adequate flight simulator software for Linux, the patsies would need to train at a flight school in order to pull off the plan successfully. It was also his idea to hijack a third and fourth plane for the purpose of crashing them into Washington D.C., to express his extreme rage over the DMCA, or Digital Millenium Copyright Act. The board of directors agreed with this addition to the plan in the hopes that it would help divert attention from the purpose of the WTC attack.

The H1-B workers were given false identities by using Linux hacking tools. Once they had attended the necessary flight training, they stayed at the Massachusetts home of Richard M. Stallman for a brief "faith building" retreat. During this time spent at the house of Stallman, between the nauseating stench of patchouli, Stallman's incessant, pitiful recorder playing, and Stallman's droning seminars on the grammatical and syntactical accuracy of various statements by Microsoft representatives, the H1-B workers were effectively hypnotized to the point that they were ready to lay down their lives for Free Software. It was then that they departed for Boston's Logan International Airport to board the planes.

(The preceding inside information has been obtained from a credible source close to the VA Linux/Software Board of Directors. He/she is in hiding for obvious reasons in light of this damning evidence, but has presented hard, physical evidence of VA Software/Linux's complicity in the events of 9/11 to federal investigators.)

From the annals of the Troll Library .

I don't like the idea of teaching students especially at a young age about the "supposed" benefits of Linux and open source software. These youngsters will grow up malformed to a Microsoft controlled and dominated society and can cause deep psychological problems for the rest of their lives. You wouldn't want the children to turn out like this now would you? Closed source Microsoft software belongs in the education sector, particularly when young impressionable children are involved.

Did he put it to music from his UNIX flute?

Long live His Majesty, Hengist Duval, Emperor of the Imperial Empire, Duke of Achenar, Friend of the victims of crime, Hard on the causes of crime, Enemy of Open Source and Free Software, Protector of the mentally weak.

Long live His Majesty, Hengist Duval, Emperor of the Imperial Empire, Duke of Achenar, Friend of the victims of crime, Hard on the causes of crime, Enemy of Open Source and Free Software, Protector of the mentally weak.

Long live His Majesty, Hengist Duval, Emperor of the Imperial Empire, Duke of Achenar, Friend of the victims of crime, Hard on the causes of crime, Enemy of Open Source and Free Software, Protector of the mentally weak.

Could this be? Someone who has actually read the article and understood what the lawyers were getting at, unlike the hundreds of slashbots jumping around adn screaming how "they just don't get it" ??? I AM AMAZED! There just might be a chance that humanity will survive to witness the dawn of the next century!

Long live His Majesty, Hengist Duval, Emperor of the Imperial Empire, Duke of Achenar, Friend of the victims of crime, Hard on the causes of crime, Enemy of Open Source and Free Software, Protector of the mentally weak.

Long live His Majesty, Hengist Duval, Emperor of the Imperial Empire, Duke of Achenar, Friend of the victims of crime, Hard on the causes of crime, Enemy of Open Source and Free Software, Protector of the mentally weak.

Yeah, especially this guy. He could learn a thing or three.

Stallman doesn't like Open Source for two reasons:

1) It dilutes his power,
2) It doesn't use the confusing word "free", which Stallman clings to with religious fervor, and
3) It dilutes his power.

Remember that the free software in FSF sense is not only GNU software or not even only software under the GNU General Public License, but also software under X11, Expat, BSD, W3C, Python, Artistic, Zope, Arphic, xinetd, LaTeX, Mozilla and lots of other licenses. The license doesn't even have to be compatible with the GNU GPL for the software to be considered a free software by the Free Software Foundation.

You may dislike the person of Richard Stallman or you may not agree with the GNU philosophy -- this is your personal choice -- but please don't spread the misinformation.

Wow. That was even gayer than Anal Cocks, Eric Raymond and Richard Stallman in a hot bath. And that is _seriously_ gay.