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mosch writes "In an extraordinarily unusual case, the Australian High Court listened to TJ Rout's arguments that he can make light travel faster than c, due to the properties of division and multiplication by zero. The transcript makes for excellent reading. Next up, the Supreme Court hears the testimony of Time Cube."

Almost all Slashdot interview guests are suggested by readers. One week we might invite a physicist; the next week a tech-interested politician or lawyer; the week after that an outstanding programmer. And once in a while we choose someone off-the-wall -- like Alex Chiu -- to keep things from getting too serious around here. Please realize that not every Slashdot interview is going to be your particular cup of tea, but it is someone's. (And, of course, you can send your interview guest suggestion to roblimo@slashdot.org. I read every one.) But enough of that. Let's turn the floor over to Alex Chiu, purveyor of Eternal Life Rings and decidedly non-mainstream opinions on religion, science, and politics.

Question:
If you were to end up dying someday, who should I contact for a refund on my eternal life device?

Alex:
The Immortality Device Inc is a corporation. So if I die, somebody else from the corporation will take over the business.

Question:
Assuming I were to live forever, why should I want to? As many tales have been written, one grows weary of seeing friends come and go and children age and die. It's a heavy burden, what's there to counter balance this need for immortality, other than simple fear of death?

Alex:
Well, if you don't want your relatives and friends to die, help me spread the news. Let people know about immortality device. That way, your loved ones won't die. Why do people fear death? Because in the bottom of your heart, you know death is no good. You become a soul which has no body. Another word, you become a homeless ghost. It might feel good to be out of your body for awhile. But you can't stay like that forever. Then you must look for a new body. That's what we call reincarnation. If you go to Disney world, it might feel fun at first. But after 2 days straight in the campus, you feel tired. You then want to go back home. If you divorce, you feel free at first. Then you start to feel lonely and you want to remarry again. Same with souls. They can't survive without a body for long. Souls are designed to fit inside a body. Souls are not designed to float around in thin air.

Question:
you cite edison, tesla and einstein as people who were "laughed and scorned at," presumably as parallel figures to yourself, but we can't help noticing that you're sort of missing something. edison, tesla and einstein were great scientists who, through a thorough and accurate understanding of the best scientific learning of their day, applied existing principles in groundbreaking and unexpected ways to advance contemporary physics. you, however, are applying your ignorance and lack of understanding of high-school level science - skimming through textbooks, parrot-learning words like "unique frequency," "magnetic flux" and "negative charge" - and producing your own bastardized version of contemporary science via the tried and tested method of 'just making shit up.'

you seem to be mesmerised, rabbit-in-headlamps style, by the magical idea of magnetism. apparently you're an intelligent enough guy, but please for your own magnetic god's sake educate yourself on the basic concepts of science, starting with the other three fundamental forces (or is it two? unification is so awkward!). cells don't cluster together because of magnetism. animals don't run from danger because they are "repelled by the negative energy." hey, maybe some form of teleportation will be possible in the future, but chances are it won't be courtesy of the fantastically well-thought-out "transmitting the unique frequency of an object." a quick vote amongst ourselves decided that gravity isn't caused by static electricity when the earth's core rubs against the crust, and as a race we're fairly certain that the sun isn't hot because of friction between its "layers". while you appear to be sure that you're pioneering, pushing the edge of science and coming up with fascinating and groundbreaking new ideas, it might be prudent to base your fantastic new theories on intelligent observation and existing science (as edison, tesla and einstein all did), rather than just gazing into space and pulling things out of your eternally-young ass. so the sun produces heat via some kind of "rubbing" process rather than nuclear fusion, mm? do you have some empirical evidence for this astounding revelation - which would be required to counteract the huge body of proof and data accumulated over the years for what we'll call the 'Enemy Theory' - or are you (all together now) just making shit up?

how a ufo works? hey, man, slow down! why not read up on how a gyroscope works? why don't you make one and try it out for yourself? it doesn't "defy gravity," it's not magic or magnetic or anything else even approaching alliterative mysticism. no, seriously. trust us on this one. it precesses, resisting any force that tries to tilt its axis of rotation. this is simple - honestly! we'll use italics! - simple newtonian physics; a gyroscope only "defies gravity" when it has something against which to exert a force. an unsupported spinning object will just drop like a stone unless it has astounding aerodynamic properties (which isn't what you're talking about) - try it for yourself! um, with a plate, or something! unless you've got some kind of inbred aversion to deduction by empirical observation!

we could go through your site and identify countless other examples; you're not being groundbreaking, you're not an eccentric genius of science who's thinking in new ways that nobody else would even consider. you're just blinkered and wrong and obsessed with making huge sweeping deductions from your own misguided half-cooked internal reasoning processes. which is a pity, because your conviction and dedication to your ideas is admirable. it just makes us sad - and moderately angry - to see an entire site de lindly concoct enough unfounded shit in your head, independently of any evidence or informed reasoning, it'll become true if you close your eyes and say you believe in fairies.

feel free to respond - whenever the mood of your flux allows.

Alex:
I know my theories and findings are hard for you to accept because they are so original and extraordinary. But one day in the future, you will see that I am right. You will be foreced to accept my invention as millions of people around you tell you that I am right.

Question:
I think that a lot of the people who visit your page think that you are a bit of a loony and a lot of a profiteer. While I like the fact that you offer 'free' rings in exchange for a donation to certain charities, I can't help but feel that you are probably not using the best of peer-reviewed science to back up your ideas.

Despite this, I bet you feel that what you're doing is pretty important.

Tell us then, Why do you think no medical experts come forth to do studies on your devices or reccomend their use?

For some this will be a vindication of your ideas. For others it will be a glimpse into one of the minds that makes the web as truly a strange and wonderful place that it is.

Alex:
Oh there are lots of doctors and medical professionals out there who buy my devices at whole sale price. We have lots of doctors and medical researchers who are loyal customers. They are blended in with the rest of the customers. Immortality Device has been tested and researched by medical researchers all over the world from time to time. They email me and told me what they found. I post their results sometimes on my site.

Question:
magnets have been around in this manner for many years - new age style people, etc. have been encouraging the use of magnets on the feet and hands for as long as I can remember. why is your way better, why didn't theirs work, and what proof and facts do you have? your website was not very forthcoming on that last issue, though you claimed to have both.

Alex:
I didn't say my invention is better, nor did I say other stuff does not work. As the inventor of the Immortality Device, I basically just tell people what I honestly think. I think my device makes you immortal. And I am being honest. My proof is lots of people used the device and gave testimonials. If you don't accept testimonials as proofs, you won't accept any proof as proof.

Question:
Have you ever tested your immortality devices in terminally ill patients in a double blinded placebo controlled study. For example, have you recruited a cohort of cancer patients, applied a randomization technique whereby one group gets your device(s) and the other receives similar, yet inactive rings and braclets? Certainly, if your products provide immortality then none of the subjects in the active group would die. With that amount of statistical power, it would be simple and relatively cheap to demonstrate your claims.

Alex:
Gee. I think some doctor in New York is doing that for me right now. Our company cannot afford to do this kind of expensive research at this stage. This kind of research would cost hundreds of thousands. I rather use that money on advertising. Testimonials are enough to convince people for now. I think even if I did the research mentioned above, it would be a total waste of money because if those people don't believe in the testimonials, they won't believe in the research at all. They would say that I made it all up. So why waste money?

Question:
A discovery as important as yours will not go unnoticed, especially as you publicize it as far and wide as you have in seeking to earn your capitalist profit as is your god-given American right (rooted in the 5th, 14th, and 10th amendments of THE CONSTITUTION). The only question is, who (or should I say "Who"?) will do the noticing?

Government agencies and secret police forces are your first threat, as they are for every righteous individual in this orwellian world of thought police and governmental indoctrination. No government can turn a blind eye to something as fundamentally anti-government as an immortality device. It may be too late for them to make Stalin or Roosevelt (there is no difference) immortal, since they died during the era where man did not interfere with GOD'S wish that we live and then DIE. But it is not too late for CLINTON or BLAIR or any other Liberal deity, and they certainly don't want you to have it in any event.

But the threats to your safety aren't confined to this planet alone. The alien races that populate our solar system and beyond may possess technology superior in every way to our own, but they have not yet perfected immortality. (I know this only through Divine providence and what I have witnessed with my own eyes: an elaborate Alien burial ceremony deep within the UN complex on sovereign American territory.) Your device would be of great help to their intergalactic conquests, and though they may respect you as a man of science, you are but one small pawn on a small blue planet in an undusted corner of their empire.

Be forewarned, cher Alex. Your continued safety is of the utmost importance to the survival of free Americans and the human race (excluding communists). Lead us to the promised land, but tread carefully. They are watching.

Alex:
Well. I just carry this stuff as long as I can carry. It's important to let people know about this invention.

Question:
How long have you been making these amazing devices? If fewer than 130 years, please describe how you *really* know they work? If >= 130 years, please prove you aren't one of those bouncing Chinese vampires by eating 5 "bundles" of sticky rice and posting the video on your website.

Alex:
How do scientists know the diameter of earth? Must a scientist walk the equator in order to tell you the exact diameter of earth? How do scientists figure out how far is the sun from earth? Must a man fly to the sun in order to measure the exact distance? I don't have to live 130 years in order to tell you what my device does. We gather scientific evidence (testimonials) in order to base our assumptions.

Question:
Perhaps your only rival on the internet is Gene Ray, the man who discovered Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-day Time Cube.

Despite the fact that his work contradicts much of your research, he also faces similar obstacles in having his work accepted or at least evaluated. No "institution" of higher education will even return his calls. I spoke to him via phone recently, and Mr. Ray believes that this is because they're run by fundamentalists engaged in some kind of conspiracy to keep the truth away from the public. He was understandably very frustrated by this.

I can't help but to wonder if other scientists face the same problems. Can you offer a correlating viewpoint? In your efforts to have your work accepted, or at least taken seriously, do you find that fundementalists are a large obstacle? If so, do you believe that this is out of their own ignorance, or that maybe they do in fact have a sinister motive as Mr. Ray suggests?

Alex:
Oh. I don't think there is any conspiracy going on. I just think that most of the people are very close minded. I show people how to build their own immortality device. I even give out free devices to our members. But still lots of people disbelieve me. They say I don't have any proof. They say I can't possibly invent such a thing. My biggest challenge is the group of close minded people, which is the majority. Honestly, being a doctor could make you more close minded than regular people. If you are a doctor, you think you are better than the rest because you've studied more than 15 years in a famous university. You hate to see a Mr. Nobody like Alex Chiu comes up with an invention which can do 100 times more than what you can do. You hate to see a Mr. Nobody beats you to the ground which makes you the real Mr. Nobody. So some of these doctors would just ignore my stuff in order to save their own faces.

Question:
Alex Chiu, you're obviously very interested in religion, especially things that are written in the Bible or Torah (from your site: http://alexchiu.com/philosophy/beastsign.htm). In fact, on that page, you claim that people who do not believe in the Bible are "Antichrists".

So let me ask you this: are you comfortable selling me some of your rings and giving me, an Antichrist, immortality? How does your God feel about helping me, an Antichrist, live forever? Or will your rings not work on an Antichrist? (I didn't see that exception in your claims.)

Alex:
If you are an antichrist, you won't believe in the bible prophecy from the beginning. Which means, you won't believe that physical immortality will become possible. Therefore, if you are a real antichrist, you won't even consider coming to my site and read what I have to say. You are not a real antichrist. An antichrist is a person who does not believe the bible (old testament only). An antichrist thinks that all bible prophecies are a bunch of crap. They think those prophecies will never come true. Therefore they don't believe that immortality will ever become possible. I live with a whole bunch of these people. None of my neighbors believe in what I say. They refuse to wear the rings. They will never accept my invention until the day they die. That's what I call the real antichrists. Antichrist is a person who disbelieve the bible prophecy (old testament only). They don't believe people will become immortal and that earth will be transformed into a heavenly place.

Question:
On your site you state: "I am not a Taiwanese. I am Chinese, and I wish China will one day take Taiwan back, peacefully or by force, at any cost! A Taiwanese who does not consider himself to be Chinese does not deserve to become immortal." Do you wish for Taiwanese citizens to be exterminated?

Alex:
I came from Taiwan. When I was in Taiwan, I was taught in school that Taiwan is part of China. Everybody back in those days never questioned about that. But now all of a sudden some idiots in Taiwan start to say that they are not Chinese. Their grand parents were Chinese. But for some reason, they feel they are not Chinese. That's very rediculous to me. How would you feel if you are from New York, but now you moved to Florida. One day you heard on the news saying that New Yorkers are asking for independence. The New Yorkers now say they are not Americans. They are "New Yorkans". So because you came from New York, you must be a "New Yorkan"? You are no longer an American? Those Taiwanese who say they are not Chinese should go to hell right now. I don't care what political party is controlling China right now. All I know is we are all Chinese. I am proud to be Chinese, and I do not tolerate any traitor. If the communist party is controlling China, they represent China. The X Taiwanese president "Lee Deng Hui" says he is a Japanese. Well, if he is a Japanese, why does he care about Chinese people's business? I feel that China has every right to take Taiwan back. It's nobody else's business. If you defend Taiwan and fight against the Liberation Army, you are automatically a traitor. Taiwan has been part of China for centuries. Why did Lincoln decide to reconquer the south? I came from Taiwan. But since communist party represents China, communist party is my party. Liberation army is my defender.

Question:
How do you explain your views if You were born in the U.S. and not China are you not an American?

Alex:
I am born in USA. USA is my mother, and China is my father! I love both places.

Question:
China repeatedly abuses and tortures its citizenry, including Chinese forced abortions of Tibetan women? Wouldn't Chinese deserve not to become immortal?

Alex:
I think the Chinese government is doing a great job right now. I support population control. I think USA should do the same. If you want to have more than 1 kid, you should pay more tax. The enemies of China always use "human rights issues" to attack China. But if USA has 1.3 billion people, USA would have the same human rights problem just like China. You cannot expect so much freedom in a land of 1.3 billion people. Chinese government is doing such a great job that China not only feeds its own people, it also feeds most of the Russians. Most of the food imported to Russia came from China. You guys always talk about human rights. But why can't you guys mention about "government rights"? Chinese government has the right to do whatever it must do to protect China. That includes population control and the liberation of Tibet. Do you know that before Tibet was liberated, you can buy and sell slaves in Tibet? In the old Tibet, you can have slaves, you can marry 4 wives, but you cannot take a bath for 1 whole year, and you cannot meet a foreigner. You can skin your slave alive, and you can kill your slave when ever you desire. The entire Tibet is ruled by a bunch of religious idiots. You can't take a bath for the entire year, and you can't trade with foreigners. Cummunists don't allow that! Liberated Tibet and kick out that stupid Dalai Lama, whatever that moron's name is. You guys don't know how much Tibet has changed. Most families in Tibet now has electricity. TV, VCR, stereo, micro-wave, you name it. Everything's made in China! They have shopping malls and super markets there. There's stock market brokers there. In fact, Tibet is one of the most popular European tourist attraction of asia. If Dalai idiot is still around, you be buying and selling slaves there right now! Everywhere would stink like hell because nobody teaches you the importance of taking a bath. If you say Tibetans are not Chinese because they have their own language and culture, let me ask you this: Is Hawaii part of USA? Is Okinawa part of Japan? Okinawa people have different language and culture than the Japanese. So should Okinawa gain independence from Japan?

We'll start this off with Ant's submission -- a hilarious story about The Endor Holocaust which no doubt follows the destruction of the 2nd Death Star. After reading something so clear, confuse your mind confuse your mind (thanks to The Musician). Now that you are adequately confused, cardoso sent us a ridiculous flash app where you can control dancers. This will put you in the mood to enjoy the most retro homepage ever, sent in by mvw Got some money to burn? Check out the Spinal Tap Guitar which features among other things, chrome exhaust pipes and a tachometer that (of course) goes to 11. If you're not a musician, maybe you'd be interested in Randy Rathbun's link to personalized action figures: I could send in my mugshot and be immortalized in plastic, standing forever atop my monitors with Darth, Goku, and Trinity! Or maybe you wanna buy a Dalek? If you're on more of a budget, Jay Novak sent us a great t-shirt from copyleft considering all the layoffs around the net companies. With all of these great things to waste cash on, you might need some cash: geekguy sent in a funny list of ways to cash in on Doom without wasting time making a game (like for example, Doom breakfast serial! Free BFG inside!) Just get id to license ya! For you do-it-yourselfers, mr100percent submitted what might be the most impressive automotive MP3 player ever. The Pathintosh is a beautifully integrated Mac complete w/ steering wheel controls, and a custom bezel. And finally, the eycandy. First up is davco9200's link to Daily Astronomy Astropix which is actually pretty sweet: today is Mars Dunes. Second and last of all, the pr0n: Jeff K sent in Unix-Sex which features sysadmins getting it on w/ Sun Hardware. Thats why we don't let them work 3rd shift.

Let's start this off with bio2's link to "the tube": an unrollable laptop:super crazy hardware. seizer sent us the most amusing firewall circumventer: a TCP/IP Email Tunnel. While on the subject of bizarre technology, John Petz sent us a webserver running on an Atari 800. Still not in shock? hool sent us a hack over at x42.com which uses the hostname as input to a calculator. tdunn linked us to a place that lists odd things found inside PC cases. It includes a *shudder* severed finger tip. For more wierd tech support, yeahbensteres submitted iamanidiot.com which has some tales that you may or may not believe. Pike sent us 94 Uses for Old Altoids Tins: Who eats 94 tins of altoids? Oh... wait. OwenF sent us linkage to the latest robotic pet craze. Look out AIBO, here comes Robotic Fish! Slashdot's own jamiemccarthy points us to TimeCube.com for all your wierd-science needs. You econ majors might be interested in Yhetti's link to the fortune-cookie market index. Bradley noted a story about a man who changed his name to 'Oxford University' to avoid domain squatting charges from Oxford University. If you have a mission:impossible scheduled next week, Dr. Manhattan sent us a link to a Swiss company that is developing self-destructing CDs. The CIA has some on back order. An anonymous reader pointed us to EarthKam, which has several really beautiful pictures of earth from space. Check out their top 10 ... if only they were bigger they'd make great background art. And finally for those of you who are sick of all the naughty language on TV, deepak saxena sent us a machine that claims it will filter all the damn swearing from TV and video. I'm waiting for a version that filters out Regis.