Slashdot Mirror
Quickies Knows Quickies. Quickies is Quickies.
We'll start this off with
Ant's submission -- a hilarious story about The Endor Holocaust which no doubt follows the destruction of the 2nd Death
Star. After reading something so clear, confuse your mind
confuse your mind (thanks to
The Musician). Now that you are adequately confused,
cardoso sent us a ridiculous
flash app where you can control dancers. This will put you in the mood to enjoy
the most retro homepage
ever, sent in by mvw
Got some money to burn? Check out the Spinal
Tap Guitar which features among other things, chrome exhaust pipes
and a tachometer that (of course) goes to 11. If you're not a musician,
maybe you'd be interested in Randy
Rathbun's link to personalized
action figures: I could send in my mugshot and be immortalized in
plastic, standing forever atop my monitors with Darth, Goku, and
Trinity! Or maybe you wanna buy
a Dalek? If you're on more of a budget, Jay Novak sent us a great t-shirt
from
copyleft considering all the layoffs around the net companies.
With all of these great things to waste cash on, you might need some
cash:
geekguy sent in a funny list of ways to cash in on Doom without wasting time making a game (like
for example, Doom breakfast serial! Free BFG inside!) Just get id to
license ya!
For you do-it-yourselfers,
mr100percent submitted what
might be the most impressive automotive MP3 player ever. The Pathintosh is a beautifully integrated
Mac complete w/ steering wheel controls, and a custom bezel.
And finally, the eycandy. First up is
davco9200's link to Daily Astronomy Astropix which is actually pretty sweet: today is
Mars Dunes. Second and last of all, the pr0n:
Jeff K sent in
Unix-Sex which features sysadmins getting it on w/ Sun Hardware. Thats why we don't let them work 3rd shift.
HAHA! FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN FOR A LOOONG WHILE!!! time to show the sun/cisco admins around here that they've got a site along their vein of work :P
Captain: What happen?
Operator: Somebody set up us the time cube!
Captain: Main screen turn on
Gene Ray: Hello Teachers!
Captain: What you say?
Gene Ray: It is useless to resist squared truth! God-Men no longer dispute me!!!
Gene Ray: False teachers on their way to hanging!
Captain: What you say?
Gene Ray: You have no chance to survive in false time.
Captain: All teachers, take off every 'zig'
Hopefully I didn't put any [] around my words.
All BSA reddot gunsights go to 11.
If you have more, post 'em.
-
cardoso sent us a ridiculous flash app where you can control dancers
On the same note, yerricde hereby sends you another ridiculous shockwave app where you can control dancers.
All your hallucinogen are belong to us.
Will I retire or break 10K?
Please, nobody tell him that you can do the same thing with any prism that has a regular polygon as its cross-section and axis aligned with the earth's to "prove" there are more than 24 hours in a day.
Then again I doubt that Nature's Harmonic Time Regular Heptagonal Prism would get many followers, though Nature's Giant Toblerone Bar might attract some attention...
Dave
Here's the history beginning from Early 2000:
:)
http://hubert.retrogames.com/history.htm
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
hmm.. the guy is hosting that webpage over his Cox@Home cablemodem. and that modem is subject to a /.-ing right now. you folks do realize he (probably) has a whole 15k of upstream bandwidth to play with ? good luck getting that link to work, if the @Home abuse dept. hasn't already kicked him off for violating the AUP (no servers!).
from the cats on mars dept
This can be taken either of two ways:
CATS: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
All your hallucinogen are belong to us.
Will I retire or break 10K?
I especially like the graph that equates the Clintons with -- Socrates, Einstien, and Jesus.
http://theforce.net/swtc/ds.html#dimensions
http://theforce.net/swtc/ds.html#summary
(The whole SWTC site is fun to read, BTW.)
--
..!!in an intastella burst i am back to save the universe!!
You have the exact same couch that I do. Did you inherit yours from your parents, too?
Freedom: "I won't!"
The Death Star II was not 500 miles wide, as they state at the start of the Endor Holocaust site
If you surf around that website, which has been around a while, you'll find further bases for that claim: the size of the Executor when it crashes into DSII, for example.
Regardless, there are several holes in the evidence, as far as I can tell.
1) You don't have to provide direct escape velocity to any fragments, just divert 'em enough to use a gravitational slingshot. Not too close, though, or you'll pull off atmosphere.
2) As far as I can tell, there's no real indication of just how large the Ewok population is. It could be small enough that they all could fit on the available transports.
3) Star Wars tech might include some equivalent to the Star Trek Genesis device, a combination of tech that can make an uninhabitable planet inhabitable again in short order.
3) The Alliance has already been seen to have shielding technology sufficient to survive a bombardment from a fleet of Imperial Battlecruisers. It's possible they may have had such a device following the fleet in hyperspace ready for just this purpose. (Although the Imperials were able to land somehow, so such a shield isn't impervious to matter.)
Clearly this whole website is simply Imperial propoganda.
Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
"Cats on mars" is a song from the Cowboy Bebop sound track by Yoko Kanno. Snag it from napster.
I saw this a while ago, probably in the earlier Quickie people posted about, and I decided to reply to the guy. I took his (obviously highly scientific) diagram with Jesus, the Clintons, Socrates, and Einstein, and threw in Nomar Garciaparra, and "proved" that there really were five days in every "day." It was something really basic, since I just had to respond to the tripe he was spewing. The guy writes back (using my real name; kinda scary) and points me to more drivel he's written, mentioning also that he tried to speak at my university (Georgia Tech) but the "stupid uneducated anti-truth educators" refused to let him. He then writes back again, and asks me if I want to have a debate with him, since I was obviously interested in his wonderful theories. Crazy...
P.S.: would this Quickie subject have anything to do with some random troll posting big hunks of the timecube home page a couple of days ago? The timing is just kinda weird.
the coolest club on
The trouble with analyzing fiction is that it is all made up. You can just say anything you want.
Death Star II was constructed from unknown materials. Specifically, the density of the materials was unknown.
Asteroids such as caused the Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction on Earth are not simply hanging in orbit and then drop. They impact while moving at celestial speeds. Death Star II would have started it's descent at nearly zero velocity compared to an asteroid. Depending upon the materials used, inertial mass may have been low enough that the atmosphere would slow even multi-kilometer wide pieces to the point that secondary disasters such as global earthquakes and nuclear winter would not occur. Think what would happend if DSII were constructed of cardboard. Pieces would hit the air and then sort of float to the ground. Yeah, it would be a big mess, but not something that could destroy a world.
Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
Pathintosh owner, if you're reading this, I'm really SORRY.
To the rest of the world, his web server is on a 56k line. Owch! Maybe I shoulda warned him.
Quick! Turing Test it! Let it submit those a few a day, let's see how many make it. What? You already did that?
I believe posters are recognized by their sig. So I made one.
Does that timecube guy realize that there are 8 corners in a cube? Guess not.
Ok, what this dumbass is saying, in between rants about god and the education system (which undoubtedly kicked him out), is that he thinks each actual day is really four days. He wants one day each for midnight-dawn, dawn-noon, noon-dusk, and dusk-midnight. (Despite the fact that these are not all the same length of time.) He clearly isn't smart enough to realize that it would simply be another, much stupider way of saying the same thing. Oh well, at least I had fun laughing at his horrible site.
Hmm.... it seems to have dissapeared at thefever.com. Some lame Trintium Gaming Network page instead.
Here's a mirror: All Your Base Are Belong To Us
The Official Steve Ballmer Webpage
There's a review of the shockwave animation at www.jiminycritic.com. Looks like a pretty good movie review site as well
one more link: there's a review at www.jiminycritic.com
I made a slashdot version! Check it out:
/ slashdot_aybabtu.gif
http://members.optushome.com.au/geoffebb/misc/ayb
The Death Star II was not 500 miles wide, as they state at the start of the Endor Holocaust site - that's over 800km! According to the Essential Guide to Vechicles and Vessels, the original Death Star was "only" 120km wide. IIRC, DS 2 was 20 - 40km wider, which would make it 140-160km in diameter, which is only approx. 90-100 miles wide.
--Enoch Root, both nerd and hip
How could you guys NOT include a link to ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!! ?
After all, someone set up us the bomb!
Link all 'quickie' for great justice!
RG
----
Deepthroat my submarine, swallow my seamen.
Is it just me, or is this man a complete and utter idiot? What the hell does 4 have to do with a cube? A cube has 8 corners, 6 sides, 12 lines. No 4. And I can see that he took his own advice and stayed away from evil education by his grammar and math skills, not to mention his thought process. There might just be a reason why no institution of any sort will debate this topic... because it is a non-topic. It isn't worth debating. Where as topics such as evolution or various religions can be debated until you're blue in the face, you can take one look at this, even if you're a self taught monk philosopher with no human contact. Look at his diagram of the Earth's equators. Oh no, we were taught by those evil educators that the earth only has one equator, when it really has THREE! Look, the proof! Three circles drawn to look like a sphere! And look at how they intersect! Look! Four intersections! Never mind those other two intersections, its the Four intersections we're interested in! Apparently nobody ever taught him what a "dimension" is either, or how many dimensions we are actually taught are (he'd be surprised to find out that our evil education system actually supports the four space/time dimensions). Alright, I think I should stop now.
enjoy!
-the wunderhorn
Karma: Bored. (Thinking about resurrecting the "Anyone else is an imposter" joke.)
Congratulations, you're the 1,000,000th person to post that swf document this week. I'm sure that all slashdot readers are enlightened by now.
clicked on the link at work and it resembled gay porn
Well at least it wasn't Goatse.cx.
I was more concerned about the infringement of unixsex.com on The Open Group's UNIX® trademark.
All your hallucinogen are belong to us.
Will I retire or break 10K?
It's amazing that someone whose clue meter is so desperately close to zero actually was able to register and get multiple web sites going. Proof, I guess, that there are functional mental illiterates out there.
They only seem to come in white though and it aint really my colour unfortunately.
hummer
The assumption that the DS II could not have been in a free orbit, but instead was supported by a field generated on the moon is unwarrented. If you were to assume the forest moon was tidally locked with Endor, the construction of the station could have taken place at the L2 point Endor/forest moon system.
Such a configuration would have kept the DS-II in a free orbit, but still stationary relative to the shield generator, which could use ALL available power for shielding. Only minimal manuvering power would be needed to maintain postion at L2.
Attempting to support the station from the moon has addition problems. First, the generators for any type of repulsion field would themselves bear the full weight of the DS-II and would themselves need to be supported in some way, lest they be shoved through the moons crust. Also they would be a tempting target for sabotage, allowing the destruction of the station, without requiring or risking the rebel fleet.
Hehe.. I sent this to the time cube guy to explain:
i understand your cube theory!
I have one question though:
Since man in essence "created" day and night in terms of thinking as such (i.e. to bats and other 'nocturnal' creatures, our night IS day for them, for others, such as single cell micro-organisms, there IS no day or night), a "time cube" doesn't apply as nature's invention, only man's. Since all organisms fall under nature's umbrella, wouldn't nature then have NO day or night, just one long span of time wherein the Earth simply rotates in and out of light and darkness linearly?
I'd like to see how he'll answer that.
-brain
Why? It is one link out of many on a quickies story, clearly marked as porn, and very funny to those of us not behind corporate firewalls :)
If your you are going to get fired for looking at pictures of hairy guys hugging computer equipment, don't follow the link.
Good good, this guy is serious.
Hey, never mind all the problems of the world. Genocide? Ecological disaster? Risks of atomic war? Naw, none of that's important. What's really important is that (gasp) there are inconsistencies in Star Wars tie-in books! We must stamp them else, or else...
Or else what?
__________________
or have I been cracking a little too much smoke? Quickies know Quickies, quickies is quickies... unless I am completely and utterly wrong, I belive that this would be a "Holy Pop Culture Reference Batman!" from Discworld II ? mmkay.
This tastes like granma! By george, you're right! it DOES taste like granma! We'll take a box of it!
not bad
(2,3-Benzopyrrole)
from the cats on mars dept! :D :) whatever tho. :)
woo! i love that song
does anyone have any idea what language shes singing? I know its not japanese or french.. Alot of people say yoko kanno is just babbling
i still love that song
no
Interestingly enough, you must be mistaken... my brother is a winemaker, and thus does not drink beer (often anyways). Also, he has been divorced from his wife for almost a year, and does not live near her currently.
I am however interested in knowing how you realized it was I who could bear the brunt of your entertaining ridicule with light-hearted banter? You've made my day more pleasant, knowing now that a quick smile will come to my face at every post by an anonymous coward, and that I will think of you and your goat molesting ways.
Cheers lover boy
"If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. " - Revolution Books, NY
It's pretty rude to use that word in a childs movie. It is disrespectful to the 6 million Jews who died by German hands.
Timecube.com is far more retro than that lame excuse for a retro home page. Where, other than timecube, can you learn about NATURE'S HARMONIC SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE in 24pt bolded Arial Black, eh?
Sheesh, 3.5MB just for that? Learn to optimize, man! Giant dithered gif89a is a terrible waste of bandwidth.
Here's an example of how to do gif-mation on a reasonable scale.
I hate to be one of those people, but if you're suffering deja-vu, that's because TimeCube was already featured in a Quickie.
---
seumas.com
If only I could dance that good I'd be pulling in all the babes!
WoW!!!! you've inspired me to return to my favorite game of all time....daleks! I found an old copy on my mac classic a coupla days ago. I was almost overpowered by the awesomeness of the game. Stricken by the inescapable urge to sonic screwdriver, I even wrote daleks for the TI calculator yesterday. Great set of links. Very funny Scotty, now beam me my pants.
My Karma is so good, I'm the Dalai Lama...or something.
Nice Cowboy Bebop reference!
This Wiki Feeds You TV and Anime - vidwiki.org
( ) CmdrTaco
( ) Hemos
( ) CowboyNeal
( ) JonKatz
( ) In case you missed it, JonKatz
Doesn't a lot of static electricity build up on the plastic? From my experince with tupperware, the rubber they use tends to build up charge constantly.
This sounds like a cool idea, but I'm a little scared of zapping a motherboard.
Well here they are, including the original shockwave movie.
After that, you are on your own.
All Your Base Movie
http://www.thefever.com/AYB2.swf
Start
http://www.overclocked.org/OCzerowing.htm
Stillsh tml
http://www.planetstarseige.com/allyourbase/index.
Game FAQr o_ wing.txt
http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/genesis/file/ze
Now please go away. [smile]
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
how long before an action figure of the goatse.cx guy gets produced?
I do NOT want to know what accessories would come with such a figure.
--- Jump!! Fire!! Bullet time!! - Lego version of the Matrix
The random slashdot story generator! It's too funny. Complete with bad grammar!l
plain text for those of you afraid of a goatse.cx link..
http://www.bbspot.com/toys/slashtitle/index.htm
actually there was a section where one of the admins went to bed with some hardware... nekkid!!!
Dude, gimme a toke of whatever that machine is smokin'!
http://www.jlyrics.org/anime/bebop/cat.html
Closest thing to a real translation there is. See the notes.
--- "Ed is Ed!" ---
- I am made of meat.
Just in case anyone is out there who has the power to market such things: I would buy a CmdrTaco action figure, as I am sure a lot of other people would. I think I would also buy a Hemos and a JohnKatz.
Taco should be wearing an anime tee-shirt, and should have his face fixed in one of those crazy wide-eyed crazy-man expressiosn that only he can give.
Hemos should look responsible.
Of course, Katz would come with wearing a flak jacket.
It would be really cool if they operated like that old Transformer set where you could link them all together into some sort of uber toy...I think the ultimate would be if they linked together to form some sort of a real working web-server running Slash or something.
-AP
Dr. Daniel Gorden is the chief architect of the HAN project. Whether it is Warren ATM switches or nifty Media Blocks, he has built them all. Dr. Daniel Gorden was awarded the Ph.D. degree in 1999 by Cambridge University for his thesis on scheduling in optically-based ATM switching fabrics. He has worked as a Research Assistant on Fairisle project (an experimental ATM network) and on Warren project. His research interests include high-speed optical networks, operating systems and hardware design and verification. Although we managed to find a rare picture of Dr. Gorden, he is very camera shy; still you can easily spot him by his characteristic desk with innumerable wires, circuit boards and CRTs. Dr. Gorden now works on the AutoHan project and is responsible for its integration with Warren ATM network.
http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/Research/SRG/netos/han/Pro files/index.html
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... the same ever again. Or patch cable for that matter. That's just wrong! Wrong, I say!
--
News for geeks in Austin: www.geekaustin.org
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
In reference to the shirt at copyleft, geekshirts.sourceforge.net also has a lot of funny geek / Linux shirts. My favorites there are I Want GNU, GNUtella, and There's no place like GNOME. This site also produced a few designs that have been produced by ThinkGeek, such as the emacs/vi police design.
"I have not failed. I've simply found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Edison
I visited my brother for Christmas, and toured the Ernie Ball factory (his buddy is a salesman there)... this guitar rocks! The Tach actually moves the harder you hit the strings! it has a 'Hurst' style '8-ball' shifter, and shift boot, and has really nice chromed pipes cut into the body. I don't recall what the inlays are, but every detail was fabulous, and very over the top -- Just Spinal Tap's style!
"If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. " - Revolution Books, NY
Some people have waaaaay to much time on their hands .. probably explains why I am surfing slashdot and waiting for huge flash files to download.
Some days it pays to be me.
--
Jon - TheSpork
This was written by a friend of mine:
> The true Time Cube
> When the Sun Shines upon the earth there are FOUR new minor Time Points
> Sunup, Sundown, NorthPole, Southpole, stupid word man!
> there are EIGHT EQUIDISTANT time Points
> You say "The 4-equidistant Time points can be considered as Time Square
> imprinted upon the circle of Earth"
> You Believe in Time Square You are Stupid it is Time CUBE!! like 6 FACES
> of a DICE each FACE is a EIGHT POINT. YOU are right about "Life is a
> "Crapshoot" - with a femininity cube and a masculinity cube." BUT you are
> so stupid and braindirty about the CUBE.
> Each of these new minor points represents a 6 hour unchanging day, in the
> TIME CUBE there are 6 simultaneous days with 108 HOURS.
> MY 8 corners is 2 CUBED!
> you are trying to be a WEB GOD! WEB gods munch your children.
> PLUS (ARE YOU AFRAID TO GO FURTHER?)
> there are other SUB-minor points. For you IDIOTS to understand we will
> use FOUR (but you cannot understand) we will call them BRUNCH and TEA and
> SNACK and SIMPSONS
> midday*
> brunch* * tea
> sunup * *sundown
> snack* * simpsons
> * midnight
>
> as the earth rotates each point gets full 24 hour day making 8 24 HOUR
> DAYS = 192 hours in a day!! If you were not to stupid stupid are you,
> stupid. You would see that each point (YES EACH POINT) along each equator
> ALL THREE (you didnt use the vertical one on your Revelations 7.1 graph,
> why not- you are a 2 D idiot), at each point along the 3 equators there
> is A FULL DAY OR A FRACTION OF A DAY... there are AN INFINITE number of
> days in each rotation of the earth the
> INFINITE DAY= INFINITE LIFE = TIME SPHERE, = purity of circle, abstraction
> of cube.
> DOES your confirmation GRAPH not Prove this YOURSELF (go ahead add more
> people in!)
> your FOUR CORNER LIFETIME. My four Higher Order Of Life
> = Lowest = the World with WORD GODS and EVIL BABY EATING TEACHERS
> = Lower = your FALSE time cube = your TIME SQUARE = 4*4=16 = squared!
> = high =MY true TIME cube = highest attainable by pure noneaten children
> = highest = the TIME SPHERE which you can never comprehend nor can any of
> you finite faced people with finite ancestors
> YOU are sTUPID
> i am 1337
> give me 1000$ like you PROMISED
I always feel kinda bad following links in Quickies stories. I mean, what better way is there to bring the 'net down than post a whole lot of stories on Slashdot all at the same time?
Posted from the wireless couch.
Pete: Big city, hmm? Live. Work, huh? But. Only peoples. Peoples is peoples. No is buildings. Is tomatoes, huh? Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes. So, peoples is peoples. Okay?
mmmmm slashdot, I love you. `8r)
--
Gonzo Granzeau
Gonzo Granzeau
"Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you into heaven for.." -Roy Batty
Wroot
P.S. Suck-up moderator karma whores will probably mod this down. I don't care.
No way, man, that site is funny as hell. And besides, there are even women in several of them.
Quickie is also the brandname of a power chair.One that I did not buy b/c of its name.Do you blame me?
I like this one better.
That uni-sex site was funny but after a /. posting it's going to get someone
Oh let there bosses have a sense of humor.
spambait e-mail
my web site artistcorner.tv hip-hop news
please help me make it better
if you see me, smile and say hello.
Not that star wars was ever a paragon of realism, but Ive always wondered (especially after reading that page a while back) why Lucas sidestepped the issue of what happened to Endor after the death star fell on it.
Of course I wondered even more how the ewoks beat the stormtroopers in the first place, but Im just such a cynic I guess.
Whatever happened to the Ewok Hunters pages? Mostly written by the crowd that cheered when the ewok died in ROTJ. Probably the same crowd that cheered when we thought Jar-Jar wasnt going to be able to get his hand loose from the pod-racer engine in time. What a disappointment.
Pictures are located here
...and I'm not sure we should trust this Kyle Sagan either.
It's pretty funny how he goes on and on about the number 4 when cubes have 6 sides!
No one got beat up more often than the mimes of the old west!
they also released a kick doom map with lots of new kick-inspired graphics.
alas, poor kick, i drank you well.
Here's something else that didn't make it into the quickies:
Bush vs. Yoda: Famous Quotes
Too funny!
"Sweet creeping zombie Jesus!"
"Sweet creeping zombie Jesus!"
-The Professor, Futurama
Breakfast serial?
Please, at least look at the box on the table in front of you -- it's "cereal". Did you or did you not graduate from college or university?
--
Twoflower
Karma whoring??? For Great Justice.
I had my own pathintosh for a while, when I put my mac into tupperware and used it as an in-car MP3 player. It was pretty cool. Now I just use my tupperware boxes as servers, because they're small and cool.
...and I'm not sure we should trust this Kyle Sagan either.
It was controlled via a laptop keypad, and I used an AppleScript I wrote that would play MP3s through SoundApp. I even had it where it would read the names of the songs out loud. All of this was done off of one CD-RW which was bootable. I never used a hard drive, because I feared the bumps would damage it.
I recently made two servers out of tupperware cases. You know the blue ones with the little locking handles...
Well anyway, I thought it was clever. They are rather small and fit a mid-tower sized motherboard, power supply, and hard drives.
For me(college student) the average $35-50 per case is too expensive and takes up too much room in my dorm closet.
$3 per case, and the whole server fits within 18" x 6" 12".
Lots of people ask about my tupperware computers. But I just smile and respond, "I don't care what it looks like, it works doesn't it."
Thanks for posting the link to unixsex.com. Now all the trolls will have a new idol to post anonymous about.
unixse.cx man
Ugn. Gotta throw up now..
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Check out my blackbox styles