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It is absolutely gigantic. I've never had a laptop this giant. It is huge both in terms of dimensions, weight, and specs. The resolution of this screen is larger than all but one of my desktops. It has more disk space on it's two (yes two) hard drives than any laptop and almost any desktop. It has an honest to god numeric keypad, but it's sitting on my lap. It's the WidowPC Sting 917 and I put it through it's paces, using it as my primary gaming machine for a month. And I write about it below.

Let me start by offering some perspective: most of my gaming is sadly done on a Mac. I have no Mac capable to truly running most modern video games. I always turn the video settings down to just below pathetic, and even then I'm fortunate to get tolerably smooth video. It's just something you sort of learn to accept when you have a Mac. Every game I play on it is just a little short of steller when compared to running on a PC. But my newest Windows capable machine is 3 years old, and a joke by today's standards.

This machine came well equipped: A 3.66ghz P4 w/ 2MB of L2 Cache, 1 gig of 533MHz DDR2 RAM, an Nvidia 6800 Ultra w/ 256MB ram, and not one, but TWO drives, a 60gb 7200 RPM for the OS, and a 100 GB 5400 RPM drive for games. It came in minimal packaging- inside the box was little more than a laptop bag containing the manuals and a few cables. Which is good because all that bloat distracts me from my primary mission: It installed my Warcrack in moments and patched up in probably half the time I was expecting it to take.

With that I hoisted the gigantic beast upon my lap, connected my mouse and began to play. Glorious, lickabley smooth graphics. I turned on every single graphics option and restarted the game, only to discover that there was a level of graphical detail in this game that I didn't know existed. Frames never dropped. Capital cities ceased being slide shows and turned into the bustling metropolis of activity that they are meant to be. 15 man boss fights became liquid fast. In short, having real hardware made my favorite game more fun to play. I'd also like to think it made me a better player, but that might be pushing it.

Likewise the audio gave me a surprising thrill. Walking into rooms and hearing acoustic affects. Voices echoing off walls really give spaces a powerful sense of space. The speakers on this machine are great for laptops. Sure your home stereo sounds better. Hell I bet $50 PC speakers sound better, but for built-ins, it was quite nice.

This new gaming experience does not come without tradeoffs. The first thing you will immediately notice about this monster is the screen. Besides having a 1900x1200 resolution screen, it is incredibly shiny. Frusteratingly so. I found myself closing drapes, turning off lights, and even after that, when I entered a dark room, I'd see my reflection shining back at me. Maybe this is simply a personal preference, but I really struggled to see details in dark scenes. I had to throw the gamma settings way up and sacrifice any contrast to see certain things without straining my eye. This might be the single biggest flaw in the machine.

Next up is weight. This thing is heavy. Everyone I showed this machine to was asked to pick it up. No really, I'd say: pick it up. They'd look at me cockeyed and then comply. Without fail they were surprised at the density of this beast. It was kind of a strange experience, watching people lift and then realize that this thing weighed like 20-30% more than you expect. The website says that this thing weighs 11lbs but it sure felt like more.

The thing is huge. It came with a cheapy little case that fit the laptop quite snuggly, but no other bag in my house came close to carrying it. And I've had some big machines over the years. You should expect to need a custom bag. I never hauled this machine through an airport, but I imagine it would suck wipping this out in security. Even the power cube is gigantic. I've actually had handheld computers about the same size as this thing's power cube.

Also worth noting is heat. There is a giant fan on the left hand side that really does an impressive job of moving the heat outside of the case. And onto whatever is sitting next to you. Let's just say my cats were not so excited to sleep next to me. I've used laptops that were physically uncomfortably hot on the lap, and this machine never got to that point. Instead, it simply would turn off. In the middle of the game. No warning. Very unpleasant. I borrowed a little mini lap desk and then there were no heat problems, provided I left the fans completely unobstructed, and used the machine only on a hard flat surface.

With this giant machine comes a full assortment of ports. And not the miniature custom ports some vendors pass off, but rather full sized real ports without stupid dongles to lose. Of course, since bluetooth and 802.11 is built in, the only port you hopefully will need is power.

The short and long of this machine is that it is heavy and hot. The base model costs $2700 but as I reviewed it, it was more like $3200. And this is one laptop that probably shouldn't be used on your lap: the weight, heat, and random freeze-ups when given improper breathing room pretty well kill that. But if you have the cash to spare, this is a sweet machine. It plays games as well as most any desktop I've seen. It added a level of playability to my favorite game. It has the stones to handle the heaviest 3D games of today, and will likely be able to play the cutting edge games for several weeks into the future. I know most people can't afford a machine like this... but if you can, you'll definitely be envied by your friends next time you haul it out at a LAN party... it's a hell of a lot sexier than lugging around a monitor and a mini-atx based machine. I'm sad to let the review unit go back to WidowPC.

Last week I packed my bags and went to Washington to partake in the event known as PAX, The Penny Arcade Expo. That sexy new rising star of video game conferences. Along with thousands of other fans of the comic strip, we filed into the Meydenbauer conference center unclear as to what would greet us inside.

When we arrived on friday it was already packed pretty solid. The hotel parking lot had many cars colorfully decorated with windows proclaiming cryptic messages like "OMFG PAX05". We were definitely in the right place.

We entered the hall in time for for Gabe & Tycho to give their opening panel before their legions of adoring fans. The pair speak charismatically and energetically, giving fun answers to the good questions, and handling the lame questions with expertise that can't be learned. jerry is the loud one, and he especially enjoys the crowd. He's fast, witty and very entertaining, even when they have to answer the question about where the (cw) in their nicknames comes from for what must have been the 103rd time of the weekend. Mike is more quiet, but when he speaks it is always draws a laugh. They clearly were speaking to their home crowd, but it also was very obvious to see the real chemistry that makes their strip so funny.

The Red vs Blue panel was similarly entertaining. They answered questions about some of the more ridiculous aspects of the show, to some more philosophical points about machinema and the relationship between the would-be director, and video game publisher. Most entertaining was the story of shots with the number of actors on screen outnumbering the number of performers, requiring dextrous feet to get the shots right. They screened a fair bit of RvB material for a receptive audience. What most impressed me was the schedule they work under. Writing the show, recording the dialog, and animating it over the course of a single week. It's no small task. I bought the Season 3 DVD.

For me the highlight of the weekend was the 'Make Monday's Strip' panel where the process of actually creating a single Penny Arcade comic was put up on a giant screen for thousands of fans to watch in amazement. Ok, so they cheated a little and pre-sketched the strip, but to actually watch Gabe ink and color all 3 panels in like 45 minutes was really cool to see. I used to do a lot of cartooning back in the day too, and I can only imagine the stress this put him through: drawing is hard, and to do it under the megascope of a couple thousand people, even tho the masses are fans, well he handled it well. To see him hold aloft his "Wacom Pad the Size of an Aircraft Carrier" like some sort of bizarre 2001 monolith was very fun. And somehow Jerry manages to spew forth a vast quantity of words, most of which get laughs. Talented boys, these two.

Of course there was more to the show than just the panels. The exhibition hall was packed elbow to elbow. The line to purchase Penny Arcade merch was like a mighty cobra coiling through the building. I'm sure that countless fruit fucker t-shirts are now spread around the nation like a plague of locust, descending upon electronics stores around the land causing children to shield the eyes of their unaware parents as PAX attendees strut by wearing the arcane symbols of their fellowship.

The big 3 consoles all had representation, but by far the Nintendo booth took the cake. I mean, they had the new Zelda up for all to behold. New Zelda. Do you understand me? New Zelda causes feelings in my pants that I find best to ignore in public. They also had Nintendogs which compelled me to visit the local Best Buy that very day. Tragically they were out of stock, but since I still have not 'caught-them-all' in Pokemon Emerald, maybe I should just say NO to a new portable addiction.

Turbine was demonstrating early builds of both their Lord of the Rings massive, and their Dungeons and Dragons massive. I spent a fair bit of time chatting with them about their plans for each of these games. Competing with the gorilla that is World of Warcraft must be a difficult place to be, but each of these games appear to be addressing different issues with the shadow that looms over their industry. D&D Online for example will only be implementing levels 1-10 at launch. The game will be less about the level grind, and more about compelling story line. Of course, for me, I'm a numbers guy. When I play Warcraft, I often don't even read the whole quest (this has screwed me in the past mind you). I need to kill 10 murlocs? Ok GO! KILL KILL! But the graphics for D&D On-line are very compelling. A definite upgrade from any other massive I've seen. I'm looking forward to the office going on an adventure in that world, if only because it is based on the D&D 3.5 rules, and that sort of thing has a fuzzy warm place in my heart.

The Lord of the Rings game was much earlier in development. By far the most interesting aspect of their system was their concept of difficulty-over-time instead of difficulty-over-location. If you go to The Hinterlands in WoW, you know you're going to be fighting 40-something monsters. And it will always be the same. When you kill the named char, he will re-spawn 5 minutes later for the next guy to gack. LotR is causing the world to change following significant events. A town that you visit at level 5 might burn to the ground following crucial story events. When you later visit that town, the inn will be ashes, and the NPC who gave you quests is a corpse. In other words, it's a sense of state that doesn't exist in WoW. They also had the interesting idea of allowing 9 player parties, but getting together parties that large is a lot more challenging. I love the concept in theory, but in practice, I think it would drive me mad.

Both games seem more tightly focused on compelling story and team play. Less about the level grind. Also they had some interesting puzzle type action unlike what I'm used to seeing in a massive. I definitely look forward to trying them out as they become available. WoW now has 4 million subscribers around the world. Since these games won't be available for many moons, I imagine the market will be ripe for a shift.

WidowPC was sponsoring a gaming room. It was neat to see rows of PCs with gamers slumped over them focused upon killing aliens, friends, or monsters with hope to earn points, repution, or most honorable of all, that glorious thing known as "XP".

The Bring-Your-Own-Computer space was also a sight to behold. The real surprise to me was the general quiet in these spaces. Almost tranquil at times. Everyone seemed very focused on the games they were playing. Personally I like a little more cussing when I play, but the whole weekend was a pretty clean affair. I wish I had lugged my box- Speakeasy was providing bandwidth and my arcanite transmute was cooled down!

And let me not forget Bawlz. The caffeinated drink of choice was available and sold for a buck a bottle. The beverage was everpresent: from people dropping the glass bottles in the audiences listening to panels, to watching literally dozens of people lugging cases of the stuff from the conference, to the hotel a half dozen blocks away, struggling under the weight, taking pause to lean against whatever flat surface would support the weight, hearts racing from the caffeinated equivalent of almost 3 cans of coke consumed in minutes. It reminded me of the time at ALS in like 1998 that we first discovered Penguin Mints. We didn't really know how much caffeine they put in those things so we were popping them like Pez all morning. By the end of the afternoon the concept of "Blinking" was foreign.

The saturday night finale was a concert by the Minibosses, MC Chris, and MC Frontalot. For Kathleen, the highlight was listening to MC Chris rant in front of thousands of attendees. I don't know how much was his voice and how much was the sound system, but it was often difficult to make him out when he was rapping, but when he was complaining, it was quite audible and crowd ate it right up.

Anyway, PAX was a fun experience. Next year they plan to move to a larger space in Seattle proper. They really need it: this place was packed. The sardines cliche doesn't do it justice. Every bit of wall had consoles and TVs on it with gamers glued to the screens playing Katamari Damacy, Super Smash Bros. Melee, and whatever other games they could get their hands on. Movement was difficult, especially in the exhibition hall.

I imagine that next year they larger space will open doors to more exhibitors, larger displays, more room for games, and attendees. Does PAX spell the end of E3 or CES? Obviously not. But would I choose PAX over COMDEX? Definitely. Any vendor would be crazy not to want to show their stuff here: this was a very hardcore crowd. Real gamers here to play, and talk about the games they love and hate. It's not about marketing or dollars, just about passion, and that makes for a far more fun weekend.