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BusinessWeek on LinuxOne
lactose_intolerant writes "Another "mainstream" look at LinuxOne by BusinessWeek. They too are suspicious. " Pretty icy review right there. Apparently the business world thinks as much of this company as we do. Still it will be interesting to see what happens with this.
LinuxOne isn't the only company trying to cash in on the IPO craze with a half assed buisness plan. I'm doing it too. Here's my press release:
Shoeboy: The Next Open Source, eCommerce IPO
Seattle, WA Shoeboy, a producer of gametes used in meiotic reproduction, hopes to be one of the next individuals to benefit from the Open Source and eCommerce surges on Wall Street as he readies himself for an IPO.
Shoeboy, based in Seattle, Washington, sells packages of DNA called gametes (or more specifically sperm) that, in conjunction with other gametes known as eggs can produce an embryo that can eventually learn to play the piano and perform integral calculus. The sperm delivery market has traditionally been highly competitive, with even market leaders like Wilt Chamberlain only able to service 20,000 customers. Part of this is due to the primitive and inefficient delivery system know as sex. According to Shoeboy, this is the main reason for Wall Street's dismissal of reproduction as a "hobbyist market."
Shoeboy hopes to overcome these limitations by abandoning sex and selling his sperm over the internet. " eFertilization makes sense as a way to eliminate complexity for customers who have a hard time finding the time and resources for traditional reproduction," said International Data Corp. analyst Jean Bozman. "There's less need for people at the user site to interact with their reproductive system," she said.
"Shoeboy next month plans to file with the Semen Exchange Commission for an initial pubic offering," announced Shoeboy. The IPO itself is scheduled roughly for the end of March.
An IPO, in which an individual sells genetic stock to the public, provides an infusion of cash, but historically has also placed the individual at increased risk of syphilis. This is another area in which Shoeboy's internet solution is preferable to sex. "Sex is too risky," says Bozman. "Increasingly, consumers are going to say, 'Why do we want to fool around with other people when we can get something prepackaged, and it's no muss, no fuss?'"
Skeptics have argued that Shoeboy's plans reflect desperation rather than innovation. "This is simply a last ditch effort after the catastrophic failure of Shoeboy's 'One Size Disappoints All' marketing campaign," said Technology Business Research analyst Joe Ferlazzo. "Additionally, Shoeboy has a history of dissatisfied customers. He just doesn't have the equipment to do the job well."
Shoeboy admits that his record is not a successful one, but he argues that the problems he encountered do not apply to the internet business model. "First off, equipment isn't an issue. My equipment is the most compact in the industry, and I have extremely low latency - were talking 8 seconds here. Then there's bandwidth - In the last year I've managed to fill 36 pint jars - any more and I'd have to get a bigger freezer. The real obstacle to my sperm distribution has been the unwillingness of my customers to be in the same room with me. With the internet, now they don't even have to be in the same state! What could go wrong?"
Shoeboy is also quick to point out that his product is completely open source. "Since all future products based on my DNA source code will (by age 13 or so) feel a nearly uncontrollable urge to redistribute their own DNA source code, I am in compliance with the terms of the GPL - just like Linux." Linux, an open-source operating system that competes with Windows NT, was the basis for several successful IPOs in 1999, including Red Hat, VA Linux Systems and Cobalt Networks. VA Linux, in particular, had a record first trading day last month.
Shoeboy hopes to raise nearly $35 million dollars through the IPO. This money will be used to purchase several jars of Vaseline, a subscription to "Barely Legal" and the Shoeboy.com domain.
--Shoeboy