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Web Site Invites Sinners to Confess Online
slackeress writes "The Internet Report on Yahoo has a story about The Confessor Web site that invites sinners to confess online. Finally a chance for me to be redeemed. Ha! I'm glad to see that the Big Guy is Internet savvy." Wow! I wonder what those local loops charges are! :)
By opening and using this software, you agree to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and saviour...
I wonder if that would be enforcable under the proposed legislation?
Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
They have a little box that you can type your confession in, they claim that the information remains on your computer and is sent nowhere - wouldn't it be funny if they were actually recording each confession and having a great laugh on us?
"Dear Lord, I spilled hot grits down my pants"
"Dear Lord, I lusted after a petrified Natalie Portman"
"Dear Lord, FIRST CONFESSION d00dz!"
-josh
``This is not what Catholics would understand as confession. Confession cannot be done by telephone, e-mail or proxy,'' a church spokesman told the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Thursday's editions.
So it's obviously not valid if you are behind a firewall, but it should be fine without one, because it's port 80. Email might be ports 25, 109, 110, or 143. And remember that God will know the difference, because he most likely has passed the CCIE.
"In the first day, you will be given nothing, and you will be required to create the heavens and the earth. You have 4 hours to complete this test. Tomarrow, the Devil will break it and you will have to fix it once again, possibly using a virgin birth."
--
Gonzo Granzeau
Gonzo Granzeau
"Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you into heaven for.." -Roy Batty
Forgive me father for I am about to Troll
..
FIFTH POST BABY!!!!!!!!! .
MAYBE FIFTH POST!!!!
OK. IT'S NOT THE FIFTH POST!!!!!
Xth POST BABY!!!!!
OH YEAAH!!!! ALL THAT PUDDING
NATALIE PORTMAN CLOTHED AND UNPETRIFIED!!!!
GETTING GRITS OUT FROM MY PANTS!!!!!!
DEPETRIFYING YOUNG WOMEN!!!!
LARGE SLAP DADDY BEOWULF CLUSTERS BY THE BIG MAN GOD!!!!
IS THAT CONFESSOR PORTED TO LINUX YET!!!!!!
I BET GOD DOESN'T USE VIGOR!!!!!
EMACS IS BETTER!! NO vi IS BETTER!!!
CISC! NO RISC!
KILL! MAIM! FDISK!!
A:WINDOWS RULES!!!
B:LINUX RULES!!!
C: MAC OS!!!
A+B: SHUT UP, YOU!!
Sorry, this kinda stuff just festered. I feel much better now.
I'm not sure about you guys but I go straight to the man when I've got to confess someting!
http://thepope.org/
What do they think "teling them to god" means? Telling them to a priest to recive pennance? But a priest is just a proxy for god (proxy meaning "a person authorized to speak for or represent another")... so by their own words they've condemened their own practices.
Not really. A quick primer on the theory of the confessional, from a Roman Catholic perspective (disclaimer: no, I'm not Catholic, but I think I understand their theology well enough to explain it):
Yes, only God can forgive sin. Jesus, being God, had/has the authority to do this (and did so, as recorded in the Gospels). Now, he also delegated some of this authority to the apostles (see "binding and loosing"), and this is where modern-day bishops and priests claim to stand in persona christi, as proxies for Christ.
No, the Bible does not say that we must only confess our sins to God. "Confess your sins one to another." And the bit about the apostles being empowered to forgive on Christ's behalf is also biblical.
I also think you're misunderstanding what they mean by saying that "Confession can not be done ... by proxy." They are not referring to the priest, but to the penitent. In other words, if I've done something wrong and want absolution, I can't send my mom to tell the priest and ask him to pronounce forgiveness for me. I have to go myself and ask for myself.
There's a good argument that "cyber-confession" denies the Incarnational nature of God's grace, and this is why the Catholic Church officially condemns it as invalid and spiritually fraudulent. I think they are right to do so.
i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.
i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.
i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.
i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.
i have murdered legitimate discussions.
i have uttered countless untruths.
please slashdot, redeem my eternal karma!!!
wiping tear from cheek.