Slashdot Mirror
Web Site Invites Sinners to Confess Online
slackeress writes "The Internet Report on Yahoo has a story about The Confessor Web site that invites sinners to confess online. Finally a chance for me to be redeemed. Ha! I'm glad to see that the Big Guy is Internet savvy." Wow! I wonder what those local loops charges are! :)
That's a heck of a EULA. Microsoft must be jealous.
I'm sure Microsoft is on the case! Their legal department will just apply some of that famous 'Microsoft innovation' (TM, pat pend.) and replace 'Jesus Christ' with 'Bill Gates'.
There may be some initial consumer resistance to the new MS EULA, but that can be solved by initiating a hostile takeover of the major churches and exercising the vendor's 'right' to alter the agreement at any time.
Unless the true second coming of Christ can then find a way to take over Microsoft, only the Amish and users of Free Software will go to heaven when the world BSODs in the end-times.
Boy... it seems that a religious post seems to bring out all the nuts.
I think that this is a good idea. I see confession as being important to my faith. Why can't you people enjoy the idea of a relgion taking advantage of a bold new medium instead of making sarcastic remarks and stupid quips.
Live and let live.
-I just work here... how am I supposed to know?
Or will I have to compile it myself and then put "modprobe confessor" into my startup script?
I like to get my confessions out of the way immediately upon booting the machine, otherwise my transgression queue gets out of hand and I start losing clock cycles.
**>>BELCH
Come on you morons! Get cracking!
**>>BELCH
Did you use Instant Grits to make that fake puke? Threw in a few raisins and crushed nuts, a little ketchup maybe? Good man. Next time throw in just a touch of whiskey to give it the tangy zing of bile. Go forth and multiply. Pass 'GO' and collect $200.
**>>BELCH
Those 'confessions' may just be archived and used for someone's profitable writings someday.
I used to read a lot of psychology books w/ many 'case studies' and it suddenly hit me: here these shrinks are getting upwards of $120/hr to listen to people spill their guts, and then they can turn around and write these 'private' confessions in books, using pseudonyms of course, and sell them for more bucks. What a neat racket!
The Scarlet Pimpernel
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
Why does crap like this get up on slashdot. Lately there stories seem to be less and less interesting.........
send flames > /dev/null
Only 'flamers' flame!
You can get your very own free Electronic Indulgence, at http://icodex.nethosting.com/indulge/.
Ryan
As a Minister of the ULC, I am authorized to, among other things, take confession and forgive your sins.
I will do this for free, via E-mail, though donations will be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely.
Rev. Mind.
...and you forgot Gnome vs KDE and GPL vs BSD
Hence, high speed prayers only. And who says that God loves the poor too....*sniff*
--
Gonzo Granzeau
Gonzo Granzeau
"Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you into heaven for.." -Roy Batty
Unlike some place like Admitit.
George
"On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten."
``This is not what Catholics would understand as confession. Confession cannot be done by telephone, e-mail or proxy,'' a church spokesman told the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Thursday's editions.
500 some years ago, Martin Luther posted, on the door of the local church, a list of things he thought were really gronked up with the way the church was doing things. He had intended it to lead to a discussion with church officials; instead, it was the trigger that lead to Protestantism. The irony here is that one of the things he was protesting was the church's use "indulgences"; pay (cash) for your penance before you sin. No priest needed, thanks for praying, here's your change and thanks for shopping at Piety 'r' Us. Now the same church is protesting a variation on the same theme.
Here's a thought; how long before someone gets into the page and sets it up to respond to various "sins" in more interesting ways...
Forgive me, uh, father, for I have sinned. I've had impure thoughts about farm animals..."
WHAT?!? My GOD man, you are going straight to Hell!!!
"I'm a scientist! I don't think, I observe!" - Dr. Clayton Forrester
Everyone who is a true follower knows that is
not Jesus's web site. for His web site is
http://www.trog.com/jesus
Jesus rocks nads!
"I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
The correct URL for the page is:
http://www.theconfessor.co.uk/page0_new.html
If you go to the link in the article, and you
do not have javascript (I leave it off in my
browser) , it wont load. Just an empty page
(they use javascript to emulate a meta reload...
which is funny...since page0 as listed above starts a meta reload cycle to show you the other
stuff)
However weirdly....at page4.html it stops again
and there are no links or forwards or anything
just poorly done frames and a promise that I may
now contemplate my sins or "type them into the
space provided".
However, I see no space to type them in.
Anyway...since I don't believe in "Sin" (not
christian) I have nothing to contemplate. However
I just thought I would let people know so others
can see this site (for religous contemplation or
humor...whatever floats your boat) who don't
have javascript enabled.
"I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
doing bad things makes people feel bad. confession provides a way back, recognized by the community at large (no, not on Slashdot, but think back to societies where Catholicism flourished). So, a person who feels remorse can feel that they've done something to set it right.
Why to one person? No matter how much you say it to yourself, it does not feel like a confession, and as we often learn in life, doesn't work so hot to reveal sensitive issue even to friends. The answer? Game Theory: A priest has chosen a lifestyle (various inconvenient things like vow of poverty, etc.) that signals "I'm committed to this job which I will lose if I reveal your secrets, so you can trust me to hear your confession." Yes, there is a lot more to the role of a Priest, but I'm trying to explain how it works in a practical sense.
Please draw no conclusions from this about my own beliefs. It is not unusual for the Mann to have wide-ranging knowledge.
I'd have to agree there, Nothing better than a quick confession to kurt@thepope.org to make me feel like I'm walking in the light again. Forget all these other silly confession sites, if you want to do it right get in contact with the pope. If I had moderator points, the parent topic of this post would be right on top. (Thats probably why I don't have points)
Looks like even "He" has bandwidth problems when it comes to being posted on /. :-)
...../......
Of course, if he doesn't get ransom from the site, he could always start blackmailing the individual "sinners"... this could end up being far more profitable for him than stealing any credit card database.
Stay up hacking each weekend. Sleep is for the week.
kwsNI
Now we have to endure the slow progression of messages at the web confessional, waiting and watching as messages slowly take you on a bread-crumb trail to your thoughts.
Welcome
In the next few pages...
Here is an opportunity...
By the grace of God...
And the whole thing is presented on a blue puffy-cloud sky background, like they're Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts. Or maybe it's supposed to scare you into repentance with the resemblance to the Windows boot screen.
Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
They have a little box that you can type your confession in, they claim that the information remains on your computer and is sent nowhere - wouldn't it be funny if they were actually recording each confession and having a great laugh on us?
"Dear Lord, I spilled hot grits down my pants"
"Dear Lord, I lusted after a petrified Natalie Portman"
"Dear Lord, FIRST CONFESSION d00dz!"
-josh
``This is not what Catholics would understand as confession. Confession cannot be done by telephone, e-mail or proxy,'' a church spokesman told the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Thursday's editions.
So it's obviously not valid if you are behind a firewall, but it should be fine without one, because it's port 80. Email might be ports 25, 109, 110, or 143. And remember that God will know the difference, because he most likely has passed the CCIE.
"In the first day, you will be given nothing, and you will be required to create the heavens and the earth. You have 4 hours to complete this test. Tomarrow, the Devil will break it and you will have to fix it once again, possibly using a virgin birth."
--
Gonzo Granzeau
Gonzo Granzeau
"Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you into heaven for.." -Roy Batty
Forgive me father for I am about to Troll
..
FIFTH POST BABY!!!!!!!!! .
MAYBE FIFTH POST!!!!
OK. IT'S NOT THE FIFTH POST!!!!!
Xth POST BABY!!!!!
OH YEAAH!!!! ALL THAT PUDDING
NATALIE PORTMAN CLOTHED AND UNPETRIFIED!!!!
GETTING GRITS OUT FROM MY PANTS!!!!!!
DEPETRIFYING YOUNG WOMEN!!!!
LARGE SLAP DADDY BEOWULF CLUSTERS BY THE BIG MAN GOD!!!!
IS THAT CONFESSOR PORTED TO LINUX YET!!!!!!
I BET GOD DOESN'T USE VIGOR!!!!!
EMACS IS BETTER!! NO vi IS BETTER!!!
CISC! NO RISC!
KILL! MAIM! FDISK!!
A:WINDOWS RULES!!!
B:LINUX RULES!!!
C: MAC OS!!!
A+B: SHUT UP, YOU!!
Sorry, this kinda stuff just festered. I feel much better now.
I'm not sure about you guys but I go straight to the man when I've got to confess someting!
http://thepope.org/
What do they think "teling them to god" means? Telling them to a priest to recive pennance? But a priest is just a proxy for god (proxy meaning "a person authorized to speak for or represent another")... so by their own words they've condemened their own practices.
Not really. A quick primer on the theory of the confessional, from a Roman Catholic perspective (disclaimer: no, I'm not Catholic, but I think I understand their theology well enough to explain it):
Yes, only God can forgive sin. Jesus, being God, had/has the authority to do this (and did so, as recorded in the Gospels). Now, he also delegated some of this authority to the apostles (see "binding and loosing"), and this is where modern-day bishops and priests claim to stand in persona christi, as proxies for Christ.
No, the Bible does not say that we must only confess our sins to God. "Confess your sins one to another." And the bit about the apostles being empowered to forgive on Christ's behalf is also biblical.
I also think you're misunderstanding what they mean by saying that "Confession can not be done ... by proxy." They are not referring to the priest, but to the penitent. In other words, if I've done something wrong and want absolution, I can't send my mom to tell the priest and ask him to pronounce forgiveness for me. I have to go myself and ask for myself.
There's a good argument that "cyber-confession" denies the Incarnational nature of God's grace, and this is why the Catholic Church officially condemns it as invalid and spiritually fraudulent. I think they are right to do so.
i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.
i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.
i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.
i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.
i have murdered legitimate discussions.
i have uttered countless untruths.
please slashdot, redeem my eternal karma!!!
wiping tear from cheek.