Corporate Media Conglomerate HOWTO

Dave Finton writes "Due to my frustration with not even being able to immediately contribute to the DVD case, I wrote a Humorix article called the Corporate Media Conglomerate HOWTO, detailing how media execs can maintain their iron grip on the keys of communication for tomorrow. Enjoy!"

Comments

I can see tomorrow's news already...

[Fruan]

"And this just in: David Finton, an author for the internet humour site "Humorix" is being sued by the MPAA for patent infringment

'The "Corporate Media Conglomerate HOWTO" that he wrote is clearly in violation with our business plan, to which we hold at leat eight patents, even to the extent that many tracts seem to have just been copyed and pasted' said Jack Valentii, president of the MPAA

David Finton was unavailable for comment, as he had been immediatly imprisioned and held with out bail at the MPAA's request.

The case is planned to go to court in 8 months."

Re:I can see tomorrow's news already...

[Surazal]

NEWS FLASH: MPAA Attacks DVD Hacker Group

MPAA officials have confirmed Monday that they have effectively surrounded the area which the DVD hacker group known only as "Those @#$%! Bastards" have stationed themselves and have deployed ground troops to prepare for the final invasion contingency plan.

Despite massive cease-and-desist orders and an unrelenting air artillery campaign, the DVD hackers have vowed to fight back to maintain their sovereignty. Dave Finton, escapee from MPAA prison and propagandist for the hacker group, announced earlier today "The rivers will run red with the ink of hundreds of bankrupt mega-corporations. We shall prevail!"

Jack Valentii, president of the MPAA and commander-in-chief of the ground campaign against the hackers, stated in a press release "In no way shall we tolerate these terrorist attacks against our soil. These hackers with their strange ideologies, like free speech and freedom of choice, will not be able to withstand the onslaught of our superior firepower. How will we be able to continue to release creative and original movie scripts when these 'people' will be able to copy their legally purchaced copyrighted material for their own use?"

One reporter asked in a press conference, "Um, isn't copying movies and audio media legal for personal use? And since when did Hollywood start releasing creative and original movies? Have I been hiding in a mile-deep hole for the past few decades?"

"GUARDS!" screamed the MPAA president. "Remove this agitator immediately!"

President Hillary Clinton was immediately unavailable for comment before publication of this Slashdot post.

- Dave Finton

Re:What's the fuss??

[dominion]

Sometimes maybe it's useful to get companies together when their services can complement each other. Can anybody name one real reason why Time/Warner and AOL shouldn't merge if their stockholders want them too? Isn't this a free country?

If you're a corporation, a CEO, or a majority stockholder? Yes, this is a free country. Not only free, but a country willing to bend over backwards to do your bidding.

If you're a person, and not worth seven figures, then no, this is not a free country.

Anyway, if they don't like being conglomerated, or if it doesn't work out, they can just separate again, and we'll be back to where we are now.

What if they don't like it? What if we don't like it? What do we do? Boycott them? How do we boycott a corporation that has their hands in hundreds of different markets?

There's more to this world, and to living life, than money and the "free market." Just because corporations feel that they should be able to do anything unfettered by morality or the needs of people, doesn't mean we should support them.

Michael Chisari