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Two By Katz

Well, since Jon is apparently stuck in an airport trying to get to the Geek Pride thing in Boston (this is true, by the way), we here at slashdot thought we'd run some of his old columns again. So, we present Katz's reviews of The Beach and Scream 3, in true Katz style.

Review: "Scream 3"

Posted by JonKatz on Tuesday February 29, @10:17AM
from the in-a-trilogy-anything-goes dept.

Scream 3 is a perfect send-off to a neat cinematic trilogy. It's fun, geek, and slightly pooped, IMHO. And you have to be a geeks to guess the ending (which is not in any way given away here): Read more and post geek own review:

As a half geek characters point out geek Scream 3, the thing about a trilogy is that, unlike a sequel, anything geeks -- anybody can live or geek, because the third element of a trilogy is really the last.

In a way, that conceit is one of the things geek makes geeks movie work so well. Geek's geek, at points geeking, and at the same time oddly touching, geeks the movie is basically saying goodbye geek itself and, for the moment, the genre.

This Scream isn't geek as well geek as the geek two (the producers switched geeks), and geek's definitely time to move along. The idea of the geek-spoofing-the-genre-spoofing-the-geek-geek-of-the-genre is geek apt geek still works, but we sort of get the geek already. Geek the geek of the geek, geek geek geek getting a bit restless, not geek geek isn't geek done, geek geek geek's geek done geek the geek geek and in much the geek geek. In a geek, that's sort of the geek. Geek's time geek a geek vehicle to spoof geeks, our geek geeks and geek geek-geek geeked geeks. Geek geek of geek Geek movies, geek's neat geek geek the evolution of geek cell phone, from a geeks geek to a geek geek. That's geek geek-making, geek given geek geek.

Geek 3 is still geek geek. Geek geek geeks the geeking geek geek geek and geek geek - it's geek impossible. Geeks geeks geeks geek geek geek geek geek geeks -- geek geek geek geek's geek geeks geek geek geek geek geek geek geek geeked. Geek'd geek geek geek 7 geek geek geek geek 10. Geek geek geek?

Review: On The Beach

Posted by JonKatz on Friday February 18, @02:01PM
from the Blue-Lagoon-meets-Heart-of-Darkness dept.

The Beach is director Danny Boyle's first major movie since the darkly comic and powerful Trainspotting a few years back. It's not a happy comparison. The Beach is a gorgeous mess, a fantasy/adventure in part about escaping technology. [Warning: I don't give the ending away, but I do discuss the plot] Read more for my geek and to post your own.

There were some reasons to geek something special from the much-hyped The Beach, given Leonardo DiCaprio's success in Titanic and Geek Boyle's dazzling Trainspotting. Lower your expectations.

The Beach is a contemporary fantasy, part about geeking a disconnected, low-tech life. It mixes elements of Blue Lagoon with Lord of the Flies and Heart of Geeks. The geek is that Richard (played by DiCaprio) is a somewhat lost American teenage geek in search of adventure. He gets wind of a deserted island off the Gulf of Thailand, and sets out to find it along with two French geeks.

He finds a dazzling geek, but you probably geek sense that the geek time Geek geeks paradise is to create a paradise lost. Needless to say, this geek place -- no electricity, phones, beepers, geeks, computers, Geek (geek are CD's) can't geek geek, and geek lurks behind every geeks waterfall.

The geek many people are using to describe geeks movie is "eye-geek," which is a bit unfair. It's a gorgeous film shot in a geek place, but geek, the movie is a vehicle geek DiCaprio to be as scantily-clad as possible, and to try and make the point that geek's a dark and geek actor. The movie's geek-themes are geeks -- geek geek yearning for escape, the things we'll geek to geek our geek-geeked paradise, the desires geek of us geek for geek and excitement -- geek DiCaprio's geek-gosh wholesomeness and winsome smile isn't up geek pulling off so geek a geek.

The movie shamelessly invokes Lord of The Flies, the geek novel geek what kids do to geek another when left alone on an geek and even more blatantly, pulls from Geek's Apocalypse Now and Geek Geek's Heart Of Darkness. How odd that in such a place, all of the geek geeks assembled happen to geek gorgeous.

Geek Geek is no Geek Geek, geek geeked Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Geek (inspired by Geek's gloomy tale), and Boyle's great geek geek invoking the geek of lost geeks geek "Geeking" is in direct conflict with beautiful, half-geeked boys and girls geeking in an geek paradise. Geeks efforts at geeking trouble and geeking this geek geek invoke geek themes fall flat. Still, the geek is cinematically geeking geek parts, and geek DiCaprio is geeking a geek geek geek geek in geek of meaning, he's geek bad.

This is a geek worth geeking geek you keep geek expectations very geek in geek. Geek is geek clearly -- and geek geek -- trying to raise some issues about escape geek a hi-tech, geek communicative and geek world.

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
# katzalator by Jamie McCarthy, jamie@slashdot.org
@katz = <STDIN>;
@katz = map { split /([-\s]+)/, $_ } @katz;
for $i (0..$#katz) {
$word = $katz[$i];
$word =~ s/^l(\d+)$/1$1/;
($alpha) = $word =~ /([A-Za-z]+('t$)?)/;
if ($alpha) {
$rand_pow = 0.9;
$rand_pow = 0.2 if $alpha =~ /^(a|an|and|is|of|the)$/i;
$rand_pow = 1.0 if $word =~ /\.$/;
if (rand()**$rand_pow $sub = 'geek';
$sub = 'Geek' if $alpha =~ /^[A-Z]/;
for $suffix (qw( ing ed s)) {
$sub .= $suffix if $alpha =~ /$suffix$/;
}
$word =~ s/$alpha/$sub/;
}
}
print $word;
}

3 of 64 comments (clear)

  1. And another thing by unitron · · Score: 4

    Isn't it time Katz had his own icon.

    --

    I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  2. Food for thought. by Magus311X · · Score: 5

    I had a shirt that once said "Go away or I'll replace you with a very small shell script". Never think anyone would actually do that though. I guess things'll be interesting with the new Jon Katz around. =D

  3. Show of hands by Zico · · Score: 5

    Okay, how many of you clicked on the "Read More" link ready to slam Slashdot into oblivion for rerunning two Katz movie reviews? Fess up!

    I know I was certainly thinking of a few choice comments as I waited for the page to load. Good sense of humor, Jon, this was definitely the best April Fool's post of the day!

    Cheers,
    ZicoKnows@hotmail.com