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Speed Racer's Mach 5 Becomes Reality
Yodel_Spoogenshortz writes: "This may actually be old news but I haven't seen it on Slashdot before. A while back the Child Safety Network partnered up with Focus on Cars to produce an actual working version of Speed Racer's Mach 5. There are articles here, here and here and an actual photo from the 34th Annual SEMA Aftermarket Show car show in Las Vegas here. If you have a spare $200,000 lying around you could get one of your own."
Great, it's got the looks. But will it jump over cliffs at the drop of a hat? Can you leap out of it, and have a camera do a Matrix-like freeze-pan 90 degrees around the car with you doing a dashing, dynamic pose? Is it equipt with oil slick rigs and hermetically-sealed for when you suddenly find yourself driving off a bridge and into a lake?
And does the trunk have room for an overweight annoying kid and his pet monkey?
It's all about the features, ladies and gentlemen.
--
Annoying monkey and pestering kid sister are available only in this LX Edition.
Unless of course you provide your own.
"Speed Racer's real Mach 5 racecar has been built to promote a nation-wide automotive safety campaign"
This cracks me up. Recall the the Mach 5 if you will, with its three projectile-looking front missles, difficult to see headlights, lack of roof, and other entirely unsafe, and un-roadworthy characteristics.
I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to send my children this mixed message at the local safety meeting where the car is appearing:
"This Mach 5 promotes safety son."
"But daddy, it's a fiberglass kit that couldn't pass any collision test in the world. It has no reinforced frame, airbags, or other 20th century safety requirements."
"Ah...(pause)...(silence)...Uh...whatta ya say we get some ice cream son?"
"The television is the retina of the mind's eye" - Videodrome
Heh. I wonder how good are the aerodynamics and handling }:-)
Kinda reminds me of Airwolf. Y'all remember how it's basically a Bell 222 chopper with a major body job? Somewhere (some AW fan site, forgot URL) is mentioned that the modifications actually improved the flight characteristics of the aircraft. Which is really neat, when you consider the thing probably wasn't designed by an engineer . . .
iSKUNK!
The Mach 5 just isnt safe because its always being attacked by ninjas. Mostly these ninjas drive really good cars, but they just aren't as good as the Mach5 so they really want it. Ninjas need nice cars, and the Mach 5 is their #1 target. As long as there are ninjas in the world, the Mach 5 will never be safe. Be afraid.
there's basically two problems here.
First, I didn't see anything to indicate that it comes with a robotic homing pigeon (essential if you don't have a cellphone, as it can carry messages recorded on small reels of tape)
Second, the Mach 5 is just not going to go over well in today's age of SUVs. What they ought to have done is to build a replica of the Mammoth Car - the one that was something like 200 yards long. Oh, it's hell to park, much less back up, but when you've got to smuggle gold by driving a car MADE out of it, it's definately the way to go. Good for groceries, and taking your kids to soccer games too.
(Danger's one thing that Speed's not afraid of!)
-- This and all my posts are in the public domain. I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice.
Don't go, Speed Racer, don't go!
Yu Suzuki
Yu Suzuki
Deamcast. It's thinking.
I AM YOUR BROTHER, SPEED!
I mean, for god's sake, wasn't it ridiculously obvious? Are you some kind of freaking idiot, Speed? Jesus Christ, get a clue!
okay okay, i realize i am disgustingly wasting a golden opportunity. here i am, with the fortunate user name "Racer X", and the best i can think up is the predicable tripe above. blast! leave me alone, its 6 am..
Of course, the tires had to be reinflated afterwards, and I could never get more than six inches off the ground, but I actually jumped over a fence in the neighbors' yard once. Boy, did that ever scare their dog. Ah, yes, those were the days...
And, before you ask, no, I did not have the little kid and/or a monkey in the trunk.
Yu Suzuki
Yu Suzuki
Deamcast. It's thinking.
Also, if you click on the Gallery button, there are a couple more pictures.
Enjoy
Frogs are primitive animals - so the occasional extra toe is not that unusual. But this is very unusual.
I want to see someone build Inspector Gadget's GadgetCar.
Take an older Celica, 1980's maybe, and refit it. Or take a Mitsubishi mini-van.
Of course it would also be fun to see a gallery of real BatMobiles too.
Then there are the classic cars; KITT and the General Lee, the A-Team chevyVan, etc.
Ah, nostalgia
-AS
-AS
*Pikachu*
The Mach 5 can:
Fight Spammers!
Try this link just to see the picture, unless you're a car guy and a suburban covered in giant lipstick kisses floats your boat. Not one electric car in the bunch, only a paragraph on how cars will need bigger batteries and generators for onboard DVD players and other electronic toys.
Sure car customization looks cool, but its still ancient polluting technology. Show me a Mach5 that runs on anything other than unleaded and maybe I'd donate something to their charity. Sounds like some guys wanted to build a Mach 5, didn't have the cash, and managed to get some money under the guise of family auto safety.
If this helps people drive safer all the better, but at shows that are full of tricked out 500+ horsepower cars I don't exactly see safety as a priority. Whats going to affect people more a brochure from a guy in a Speed Racer custome hands out or the long line to the 1,000 lbs car with the V12 engine where grown men drool over chrome and fiberglass?
Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but this fiberglass death-trap selling safety to a bunch of hot-rodders is just to hypocritical to leave alone.