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Dave Barry Takes On Sony
Warrior writes: "Humor columnist Dave Barry decided to tackle Sony in an editorial about the hype surrounding the Playstation 2. And just in time for the holidays! Children don't need the latest toys anyway."
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the absence of competition in the console market
You mean like the N64, PSX, and Dreamcast? Yeah, there's an absolute dearth of other consoles out there. Given the relative game line ups at the moment, I don't know why anyone would be buying a PS2 over a Dreamcast today. Maybe in 6 or 12 months when the PS2 has some true killer games out...but not today and not for Christmas.
You miss the point: most of the parents rushing out to get the PS2 for their kids are raising spoiled brats! The parents who have normal kids are waiting a few weeks until they purchase it for their kids!
I think Sony contributed to the frenzy, but this is just another example of how our society has become a cutthroat case of "I gotta have it before the next guy does, or life isn't worth living!"
Pathetic!
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation! We have assumed control! - Neil Peart
Anyone who buys on the bleeding edge should have their heads examined.
Ahhh, but we must be thankful for those that do buy the bleeding edge...they subsidize our second stringers afterall!
Yesterday, one of my office colleagues passed around a copy of a 15M MPEG video shot by an amateur videographer of the PS2 launch in Paris, France. (Perhaps another kind Slashdotter will post the original link?) I found I was actually disturbed by what I saw.
The camera was positioned on a balcony high above the main floor where the unveiling took place. A kiosk in the middle of the floor was covered by a two-story-tall phallic mylar curtain. High-tech lighting effects splattered over the curtain and the crowd. A half-dozen or so Sony salesdroids were manning the kiosk, preparing to hand out units to lucky buyers. Surrounding the kiosk were a solid ring of red-shirted security personnel, and surrounding them were easily over a thousand people on the main floor.
As the MPEG opens, the curtain begins its rise. My ears were hammered by the volume of the cheering crowd. As the curtain clears the top of the kiosk, one of the Sony people in the lower right portion of the picture takes a PS2 box from the kiosk and moves to hand it over a security person to one of the dozens of hands stabbing out for it. A dimple forms in the security ring, heading towards the Sony guy...
Moments later, the entire ring collapses like wet tissue paper, and the kiosk is engulfed. Screams of terrified women emanate from the mass, which has abandoned all pretense of civilization. The security people are now helplessly trapped in the crowd itself, and the Sony people have climbed up on the kiosk, giving themselves a bit of safety on higher ground.
The camera zooms in, and we begin to see details of the throng. It looks like a study in fluid dynamics as pressure waves move through the packed mass of people. As the camera slowly pans around, we see a Sony guy pull a woman from the crowd to safety on the kiosk (someone pin a medal on that guy). A French voice booms out impotently over the PA system pleading for calm. One red shirted security guy remains near the kiosk trying to keep the four or five people immediately near him from getting too close; it's not clear if he can see over their heads to see what a job he's got. Meanwhile, the Sony guys continue to hand out PS2 units to the insane crowd.
While all this is going on, the moron running the high-tech light show doesn't turn it off and go to normal lighting. So along with all the pushing, shoving, yelling, and terrified screaming, the crowd continues to be bombarded with panning spots and flashing strobes, adding to the already disorienting environment. I have no idea if anyone was seriously injured.
From the behavior of the crowd, you'd swear there was a food shortage going on. But it wasn't a critical resource that was in short supply, it was a fscking game machine. And, from all reports so far, not even a very good game machine. I found it disturbing to watch, to see that so many people could go so bonkers and inflict such harm on each other over something so unimportant.
Schwab
Editor, A1-AAA AmeriCaptions
I'm not exactly sure why there is a shortage on PS2s. I haven't really kept up with it since I certainly don't have $500 to spend on a game system and a few games. Barring a parts shortage, here's what Sony should have done:
For the sake of argument, let's say Sony would expect to be able to sell 5 million PS2s between release date and December 24. On the release date, they release 100,000; but there exists demand for at least 2 million. Now those 1,900,000 people who are willing to buy one but can't are just dying to be one of the few lucky ones.
Now fast forward to mid/late November. Sony could release several hundred thousand. These would be bought up quickly, but most importantly, it would keep the PS2 on everybody's Christmas (or whatever) list because they now think they can actually have a chance at getting one.
Now fast forward further to somewhere around December 10. Sony can suddenly release millions of PS2s and they'll sell like Brittney Spears pornos. The kids are happy because they got their PS2 (which they still think is very in-demand), and Sony is happy because they've sold hundreds of thousands of units more than expected.
-- "Complacency is a far more dangerous attitude than outrage." -Naomi Littlebear
A funny article, as usual. Berry writes well but this article doesn't have much content.
You see, Dave Barry is what they call in the publishing world a "humourist." (Or what's known as a humorist in the States.) A humourist's job is to write articles that are funny. Being funny does not necessarily require any actual content -- in fact, many humourists find that things like content and truth get in the way. (Though, given the US election situation, that's not always true.)
If you want quotes, statistics, news stories, etc., you'll have to find what's called a "journalist".
I can spell. I just can't type.
Well. I looked into this and thought I would share the results for those who have not:
Sony had everything set more or less for their U.S. launch but decided that they would outsource production of the main graphics CPU to a fab plant that could do 18 micron chips instead of their plant which did 21 micron chips. The other company was also supposed to make chips at three to four times the rate of Sony's plant. About a month or two before launch, Sony found out that the chips the other company was making weren't working and that they had to produce over a million chips out of their arse. Sony cranked it's 21 micron plant into overtime, and tried to salvage as many 18 micron chips as possible (not bloody many).
End result: Sony's graphics chip plant has been in hyper overtime ever since, and Sony is air-shipping hundreds of thousands of units they had planned to ship via ocean as they can finish the units. I'm given to understand that they are rather upset with the company they had originally outsourced these chips to and are still trying to bring them online, simply because it would increse the rate at which they can sell completed PS2s that are missing the critical main graphics chip.
Think what you will of Sony (I like many of their products but not their overall mindset), but I seriously doubt that they destroyed their profit margins like this on purpose.
B. Elgin
B. Elgin
"Read at your own risk; feel free to ignore."
but must we always accept articles submitted by people who work at the site?
Yea, all the guys at gamespy are cool, but it still bugs me a bit when Slashdot posts a story on (insert site here) and the person who submitted the story is from (insert same site here).
Moller
Think of it this way: somewhere out there in America, there is a guy who is entirely too rich. He bought a lot of stock in Microsoft, or Disney, or whatever back in the day, and sold it when it was still at $140. Or maybe his daddy had a bunch of oil wells in Texas in 1983; doesn't matter. He's got way to much money to spend, and by now is used to getting whatever he wants.
So his kid tells him that if he doesn't get a PS2 at release, he'll kill himself. Mr. Rich has no idea what a PS2 is, but Jr. is really starting to intrude on Daddy's Nasdaq time. So the old man heads over the fao Schwartz, but finds none in stock. Desperate, he degrades himself to Best Buy, Circuit City, and *gasp* The Mall, but still no luck. Sorry mister, should have been in line at 1:00 last night.
But this is a man used to being able to buy whatever he wants, price be damned. Solution?: Ebay, of course. On Ebay, money talks. Would he really spend $15,000? I saw some of those, and my guess is that the really high-end auctions were goof bids. But I would bet there are many out there who would have dropped $1500+ on one, just to prove to themselves that their money CAN buy whatever they want.
If you're having a problem because your network has a firewall (and a sysadmin with no sense of fun), use this link. It's to the article on the Miami Herald site.
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. - Cmdr. Susan Ivanova
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this just another case of people who want bleeding edge technology getting screwed out of their retirement savings? If they wait three months, won't everyone be able to pick up a PS2 at Walmart for the regular price tag, rather than shelling out $15,000+ on eBay?
Let the parents give their children rain cheques for Xmas. I've gotten those a couple of times. As long as the kid isn't a spoiled brat, will it kill them to wait a few weeks for their gift? Hell, I've sometimes waited 4 months for a rain cheque I got for Xmas to show up. It didn't kill me, just taught me a little patience.
Just so you all know, I apply the same reasoning to computers, as anyone with half a brain will. Three years ago I got an AMD 233MHz with 32MB RAM, 4GB HDD for $1000 new, at a time when 300MHz machines were selling for over $3000. Now, I'm finally considering getting an upgrade (yes, my computer has served me faithfully until now) and I can get 600MHz machines etc. etc. etc. for $1200. Anyone who buys on the bleeding edge should have their heads examined.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
--Scott Adams
HAHAHA all microsoft has to do now is market it's X-Box with the slogan. "X-Box, because we made enough" It amazes me how many dollars a company will spend on advertising, and how LITTLE damn money they spend on production, if sony had spent the billion or so dollars it spend on pushing the PS2 on actually making the damn thing, perhaps everyone would be raving about how good it is in real life, instead of how good the reviews all are.
3-Server OC-3 Linux Counter-Strike Cluster
www.rnp.ca
Sony is probably selling these things at a loss. That's generally the way with game consoles, with the presumption that they can make up for it in licensing when everybody buys the games.
But as we've all read before, there just aren't many PS2 games out there. And they aren't very good. Mostly because the SDK isn't really ready for primetime.
DVD laser heads are in somewhat short supply, according to various industrial news sources. If that's true, Sony had to make a decision.
DVD video is main-stream this holiday season. Sony has a good name in video systems, and an intense rivalry with Toshiba, who aparantly has a very good name in DVD players.
The DVD players are sold with a good margin, and make good money. This is more than likely where Sony believes they can make big money this season.
So, what would you do, given a limited supply of a component, needed for the construction of two devices, both in very high demand, both involving equally heated competition, where one of them probably won't make any money?
It's unfortunate that the PS2 isn't yet everything they told us it would be, but it's not, and they have to go with what's going to increase the bottom line.
This is just like television, only you can see much further.
Altough Barry is obviously trying to be funny - I think he is also trying to slap a few parents upside the head. This attitude that we have to have everything NOW is what drives the massive consumer debtloads in this country. Parents make sure that the attitude is passed on their kids by going to these extrodinary lengths to get this years hot toy. Anybody remember the $100 Furby's on Ebay a couple of Christams' ago?? Or the talking Elmo? It nuts.
...
Hell, I stil can't win on most of the games I have for the original Playstation