Slashdot Mirror
Space Diving
Anonymous Coward writes "There's a Canadian company that wants to introduce a new sport called "space diving." It's like sky diving, but from space down to earth. But the interesting thing is the inspiration behind space diving: NASA had a wacked-out idea in the '60s for astronauts to return to earth without a capsule. The astronauts were expected to leap from the capsule toward earth with nothing but a spacesuit, a backpack, and a retrorocket gun to save them. A ballute (maybe filled with nitrogen or helium but I checked and a light foam was considered) in the backback would slow the reentry so the astronaut wouldn't char, and then parachutes would guide a traditional descent. But the weirdest part is they'd have to fire the gun to point themselves to the right height and position to come down over land. I'd never heard of this escape system before. Read the article."
Hey, this has incredible implications for the airline industry. Instead of paying ridiculous fares to get yourself somewhere you don't really want to be (the airport), you could just hop on a rocket, head for the stratosphere, and then guide yourself down to the general vicinity using your handy rocket-powered backpack.
I'm seeing new uses for building roofs. Executives could land exactly on the building they wanted to visit, rather than waiting for cabs and lugging luggage through security checkpoints. As a frequent flier, let me just say that this is one heck of an idea.
Not.
What's your damage, Heather?
..this is how we plan to take over Earth. Our spaceborne regiments of hockey-stick armed toothless warriors will plunge towards the Whitehouse and burn it (again) just as the Presidential transition is taking place, eliminating both of your "great leaders". This will leave you with no choice but to bring back Jimmy Carter.
Essentially leaderless, you Americans will be easy pickings for our elite spacedivers. Imagine the surprise advantage of having a regiment of troops show up out of nowhere. Once military objectives have been achieved, we will appropriate your radio stations, and subject you to Canadian content, 24-7. Those Americans who do not kill themselves after two continuous hours of Celine Dion will be given the option of slavery or becoming part of FROG (France Reconnisance Operations Group).
Our next objective will be Buckingham Palace. A quick, effective strike on the Royal Family will destroy the tabloid industry and thus destabilize the world economy. Demoralized and destitute, the rest of the world shall fall beneath the crunch of our hockey skates.