Slashdot Mirror
ESR's Sex Tips For Geeks
An Anonymous Coward writes: "According to Eric S. Raymond in
this article,
'hackers don't have to be helpless chum in the dating-game shark pool. We have some advantages; with a little understanding of human ethology we can learn how to use them effectively.'"
Anyone who says brains aren't sexy doesn't get turned on by a liter of gray tissue.
This article has been here for several minutes now, and still only about 10 comments.
:-)
Could it be that the average slashdotter is actually *reading* the article for once?
When will people stop putting up with these stone age attitudes, and start demanding that women be treated as if they were actual human beings?
I don't know, when will women stop having sex with men who have stone age attitudes, and start having sex with men who treat them as human beings?
- Confidence. As you succeed, you gain confidence that you can
succeed, and you gain confidence in yourself. Therefore, women look
for this. A guy who is confident is a guy who, if he isn't already
successful, has a high probability of being successful.
- Assertiveness. To succeed, you must insist on getting what you
want. You must assert yourself, must compel others to do your
bidding. Want to know why men always have to make the first move?
Simple: because doing so shows that the guy is assertive enough (and
confident enough) to try. This may mean insisting on getting what you
want at the expense of others, perhaps even at the expense of the
women you're interested in. So be it.
- Aggressiveness. You can't just assert yourself at the beginning
and expect to succeed. You can't just mess around. You have to be
aggressive about going after what you want. You have to be willing to
put a great deal of energy into it. This often translates to other
areas, for instance defense of territory.
Women pick up on all of these things. The guys that are cocky, arrogant, mean (aggressive), and (in many geeks' eyes) cruel (assertive) seem to always end up with the women precisely because women are looking for the above traits. Kindness doesn't even enter into the equation until much later. But by that time, the man has scored, and in evolutionary terms that is all that matters.Finding the right combination of these traits to display is the real trick. Confidence is probably the best trait to work on because it involves the fewest compromises. Most geeks are highly confident in their computer skills. But what needs to show through is confidence about everything. And that means that, as a male, you must approach a woman you're interested in as if there's no question that the outcome of the encounter will be in your favor. And you must do so without hesitation or doubt.
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Someone rewrite that article in nroff -man format, please! sex.1 needs to be updated.
"I love my job, but I hate talking to people like you" (Freddie Mercury)
As the AC who posted the initial reply to Terri Rolle, I have to jump in again (I expected way more flames quite frankly).
Geeks tend to believe that they could treat women better, if only they had the chance. This is absurd, the guys that are getting laid are the guys that do know how to treat a woman.
You're absolutely right. I agree with you completely. I was trying to point out to Terri Rolle that, in fact, women are sleeping with exactly the men they desire -- women can SAY they HATE "stone age attitudes" all they like, but so long as they keep rutting with the frat boys, men will keep acting like frat boys.
My greatest regret in life is that it took me so long to stop listening to what women SAID they wanted and start paying attention to what they actually ACTED on.
Being intelligent is far from the most critical component in how you treat a woman.
I'd recommend looking for a good dancer and a pet owner, that'll tell you more than intelligence about how someone will be in a relationship. (yes, I'm a good dancer, no I'm not a pet owner, so I'm not just making up rules that I fulfill!)
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Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.
So is this what people are talking about when they say "Read the Fucking Manual"?
Brains are not a turn-off. Intelligence, used correctly, may be the fastest way to seperate a girl from her clothing. Instead of wowing your date by repeating an entire Star Trek episode from memory, why not use your considerable intellect to learn French? Girls really dig that stuff, unless of course she happens to be from France...
But anyway, you know what I mean. Use your abilities to learn things that will impress girls. Memorize every work of Mozart and Beethoven and learn to play a few. Teach yourself a spoken language. Use your brain for something other than learning another programming language or OS.
Another thing, clean up your act. Work out. Get a tan. Pay attention to your wardrobe. You know those hot little sexpots you see bouncing around with their flat stomachs and perky asses? WTF makes you think they want some slouch with a beer keg for a stomach that dresses like their little brother? Most guys can clean up their acts to a very respectable degree, if they put forth the effort. So the 'terminally ugly' defense is rarely true. You, yes YOU, can look much better than you look right now.
Is it shallow? Maybe. But so what? If it gets you what you want, mission accomplished! It's a means to an end. I promise, you'll not feel shallow the first night you bed a really attractive girl.
"Study your math, kids. Key to the universe." -The Archangel Gabriel
...writing "Sex Tips for Geeks" is made considerably easier by the fact that anything you do will be considered sexy if it is behind the wheel of an Italian or German-made exotic automobile.
I have, fortunately or unfortunately, many friends who became multimillionaires in the midst of the dotcom run-up. Now even their flatulence smells to some women sweeter than "Obsession". So picking up chicks isn't really a problem for them any more. Now the problem is filtering out the ones who would've loved them when they slept in $300/mo campus housing and drove a Gremlin.
(Of course, I hope for ESR's sake that he managed to dump some of that VA Linux stock back in the day. What was once worth to him $36M would I think now be worth less than $500K... And losing over 95% of your personal wealth in less than two years is DEFINITELY not a good way to appear sexy to chicks, ESPECIALLY if you're a geek.)
I smell an O'reilly book deal in the works: Women in a Nutshell
I beg of you, do not read ESR's Sex Tips. I was plauged for months afterward with dreams (nightmares, if anything) of ESR... (shocking!)... with no clothes... (scary!)... doing sexual things! (Now I'm scarred for life!)
It's worse than goatse.cx, I swear. the tips themselves are fine, but the thought of ESR and -- *shudder*
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I like to watch.
question: is control controlled by its need to control?
answer: yes
This isn't as much "normalization" as it is "don't take so many drugs when you're designing tables."
Is this for Geeks or Rednecks?
DanH
Cav Pilot's Reference Page
Cav Pilot's Reference Page
UNIX - Not just for Vestal Virgins anymore
OK I am not a geek. But I know some geeks and I get really impressed by most of them, because of their brains. Don't mail me I am male!!! Strangely the first person I met in person apart from LUGs that could make a decent Linux install was a girl! Her looks are really sweet. She studied computer science, can code, writes Tex... Even tries her own port of Linux to some wiered DEC platform. As I stated I am not a geek and therefore can't even code decently. Btw, she already has a nice boyfriend, now chance! Now to your problem. Most male geeks I know don't have girlfriends. This applys also to some other guys I know (I currently don't have a girlfriend either). The problem is not limited to geeks and not all geeks have that problem. The real question should be how to get singles together. Also you really shouldn't focus on getting laid. Sex in a realtionship involving love and trust can be so much better!! So focus on getting a girl. Now if you are a nice person any girl that really gets to know you and has had some experience with a*holes should be a target. Unfortunatly not all girls have that experience. Some go for nice guys naturally, but not all. If you are not a nice guy (go ask someone to be honest, is you are nice. best would be someone who doesn't like you. Yourself or your friends are not a reliable source on that, because they tend to focus too much on your qualities). If you are not a nice guy work on yourself or try to make the girl you are with pregnant ASAP. This highers your chance that she stays with you even so you are an a*hole. Back to the nice guy: Now you know you are smart (geek) and a nice guy. Go for any tips how to meet girls. On the Internet the ratio is very bad. Try focussing on places where you have better chances. Get yourself some nice clothes (again ask somebody else what they think you should wear best would be a girl in the same social cirlces / age group that you want your girlfriend to be) Shower! Shave! Hairdresser! (if you want your girfriend to do that you should do that, too. Fair is fair) Hardest part is going up to girls and talk to them. Don't focus on anything other than to get to know girls for the sake of it. As you talk to them you learn more about them and maybe someday you girl is among them and you already have build enough confidence to not embarres yourself. Sounds like a lot of work? Consider the benefit. Someday a lifelong partner. No worries about getting someone any more and you can finally focus on geek things again. Try not to forget your girlfriend though.
However, it doesn't have the pedigree of the Raymond peice. A quick sample:
This is the logic of "geekboy dating":
+ Want someone
+ Can't get them immediately (at all)
+ Declare that you don't want them after all
+ Repeat
If that reads like shampoo instructions, you're getting the picture. If you think that's normal or healthy, you're missing the point.
Definitely worth a read
Check out the Vinny the Vampire comic strip
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
... or maybe the bright light is behind you?
the sort of advice he dispenses indicates exactly why geeks should not think to hard about trying to pick up girls. if you are measuring her pupils, you are not in the game.
Wow, this is good advice. Anybody know where I can get a Klingon-French dictionary? I'm going to make her shiver...
HOW TO GET BABES -- A GUIDE FOR GEEKS
Show them your T1 lines and your modifications to the Linux kernel -- they'll be very impressed.
Grunt when they say anything to you -- remember, avoid eye contact at all costs.
Never leave your home -- any babes worthy of your attention will come knocking on your door.
Surf the net for porn, so you know what real women should look like.
Test whether they really love you; never, ever shave or shower.
Don't exercise -- the weak, pudgy mess that you are will evoke maternal feelings of sympathy.
If they talk to you, it means that they love you.
Remember, girls always prefer email to real mail.
Sitting three seats behind them on the bus is a good start.
Become a billioniare -- trade money for babes.
Write the next, killer software app -- your fame will draw them to you.
Remember, what's cool to your geek friends is cool to babes too.
Make them understand that you are more evolved than that hunky football star.
Declare that you are homosexual -- that never fails to interest them; pounce when guard is down.
Babes always go for the stronger man -- duke it out over a game of Quake.
Write a geeky web page.
Use mnemonics to aid communication e.g. Hello == main(){, Goodbye == }
Increase your "reproductive fitness" -- become the Alpha geek of your pack
The woman you're talking to on the net really is female and most likely a babe -- and remember, cybersex is as good as real sex.
chix dig us
360 degrees of Karma
blah blah blah i think unless you get out there and actually start doing shit, you will not learn a thing. you can read outta a book all day, but unless you actually start trying you aint got a thing!