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Finding Humor in Trademarks(tm)?
psycona asks: "I was staring at the back of a Schick razor package and saw the words SmartDesign(tm). Now if that isn't one of the most idiotic appropriations of the English language I've ever seen. Which got me to thinking. I'm pretty sure there are web sites out there that list stuff like this, but what are your favourite marketroid phrases? I'm talking about any (tm)-ed or (r)-ed word that shouldn't be, or phrases like 'Designed For Humans!' As a proud cynic and self-professed guardian of plain (or at least good) English, I'd find it amusing to know what else was out there." Well, I think I'll beat a few folks to the punch and nominate the whole "... for Dummies" line of books. I'm sure many of you have several others.
Now that's a winning slogan.
Or making up a word, then using it like:
Cheer cleans better...
"That's because only Cheer has Liquifiber{tm}."
And only Microsoft has Windows Northern Telecom.
Not trademarked, but a company I used to work for sold portfolio management systems to financial institutions. They hired some fancy advertising company who came up with the slogan "Powerful Stuff" accompanied by photos of a baby wearing an overturned bowl of spaghetti, a topless man taking a shower next to a brick wall, and other incongruous images.
I'd rather be a dummy than an idiot. In other words, I may be dumb but I'm not stupid.
gave all their employees orange yo-yo's that said
We're in the TORRID ZONE!
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
The best title in the entire series has to be The Complete Idiot's Guide To Enhancing Self-Esteem.
When TSR's Indiana Jones RPG, miniatures, and related products came out, much was made of the "Nazi(tm)" trademarks, used under authorization of LucasFilm. However, the trademark actually applied to the word in conjunction with specific artwork.
"Drivers Wanted." - Volkswagon. It's been years since they've been looking, and they still haven't found any, at least judging by the people in the commercials.
"Software for the Agile Business" - Microsoft. 'Nuff said.
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"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
However, if you really like making sure you are in explicit control of your works, you slap the following into every one of your books:
© 1990-2001 White Wolf Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction without the written permission of the publisher is expressly forbidden, except for the purposes of reviews, and blank character sheets, which may be reproduced for personal use only. White Wolf, Vampire: The Masquerade, Vampire: The Dark Ages, World of Darkness, Aberrant and Mage: The Ascension are registered trademarks of White Wolf Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Trinity, Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Wraith: The Oblivion, Changeling: The Dreaming, Kindred of the East, Werewolf: The Wild West, Trinity: Battleground, Wraith: The Great War, Guide to the Technocracy, Technocracy Progenitors, Technocracy Iteration X, Technocracy New World Order, Technocracy Void Engineers, Technocracy Syndicate, Technomancers Toybox, Isle of the Mighty, Digital Web 2.0, Year of the Reckoning, Hunter: The Reckoning, Mage: The Sorcerers Crusade, Mind's Eye Theatre, Mind's Eye Theatre Journal, Dark Kingdom of Jade, Ends of Empire, A World of Darkness Second Edition, Mummy Second Edition, Mummy: The Resurrection, Clanbook Cappadocian, Clanbook Nosferatu, Clanbook Toreador, Clanbook Brujah, Clanbook Gangrel, Clanbook Salubri, Clanbook Baali, Clanbook Ventrue, Clanbook Tremere, Clanbook Assamite, Clanbook Ravnos, Clanbook Setite, Clanbook Malkavian, Clanbook Lasombra, Clanbook Tzimisce, Guide to the Camarilla, Guide to the Sabbat, World of Darkness: Gypsies, Year of Revelations and all other publications by White Wolf are trademarks of White Wolf Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. All characters, names, places and text herein are copyrighted by White Wolf Publishing, Inc.
And just in case the tables turn, slap on an extra: "The mention of or reference to any company or product in these pages is not a challenge to the trademark or copyright concerned."
And then, since you're publishing teen-killing RPGs (remember D&D during the 80s?), you add: "These products use the supernatural for settings, characters and themes. All mystical and supernatural elements are fiction and intended for entertainment purposes only. Reader discretion is advised."
That *whole* thing is in each book published! Talk about covering all your bases.
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Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
How about "Build on NT Technology". Doesn't that mean "Built on New Technology Technology"?
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball
Gospelfest
McBaby
McBacon
McBurger
McBus
McCafe
MCDirect Shares
McDouble
McDrive
McFamily
McFranchise
McHero
McKroket
McMaco
McNifica
McOz
Teriyaki McBurger
Vegi Mac
at one time i know they had McLobster listed, but i couldn't find it anymore.
this is just a placeholder till i send back my real sig from the future.
Reach out and touch someone.
Indeed. Notice the use of the words "proactive", "proactively", and even (I've never seen this one before...dictionary.com denies any knowledge of it) "proactivity". Four varients in one short page. I think that I shall go and proactively retch, lest the concentrated marketroid speak poison my bloodstream.
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | http://www.infamous.net/
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
You cannot wash away blood with blood
BTW, one can search for trademarks here.
Which would ya rather be -- condescended to, or insulted? Now you have a choice!
DO NOT LEAVE IT IS NOT REAL
1. Company name: "Rankin Flowers" ... no thanks, I like mine to smell nice.
... I don't know about you, but it doesn't say much to me.
2. Company name: "The Age of Travel", slogan: "Our name says it all!"
umm... a planned obsolecense of sorts?
Spoon not. Fork, or fork not. There is no spoon.
Forgive me. The One Before(tm) posted shortly before I did, hence his post was not seen by me prior to my clicking "submit."
But I still think I said it better.
Give me my freedom, and I'll take care of my own security, thank you.
News for Nerds. Stuff that matters.
Oh, wait. There's no (tm) or ® after that.
This is news? This matters?
Give me my freedom, and I'll take care of my own security, thank you.
Same pun on the Register's slogan,
"Biting the hand that feeds IT"
on the tag of Joe Boxer underwear:
CHANGE DAILY! (tm)
I don't know which is funnier/more pathetic: that they have to tell you to change your underwear, or that they had to trademark that phrase.
In Australia there IS a McDonald's hamburger called the McOz. It's highlight is a slice of beetroot.
It was out 'for a limited time' a few years back, and was supposedly so successful that they replaced the McFeast with it.
So, yeah, the McOz exists, and you have to come to Australia to get one ;)
(The thing is at the moment in Australia McDonalds have a a 'limited time' burger called 'Burgermeister'. The ad features a very bad German accent; supposedly the burger is German. The meat on the burger is aledgedly pork. There is even a website here. Why not McGerman?)
I have a friend who worked for GE. He told me that many of the employees, upon hearing the 'We Bring Good Things To Life' slogan immediately though of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster.
Sadly, this story is a mnemonic virus. Every time I've seen/heard the slogan since, Frankenstein's monster pops into my head. I wonder if any other slogans/trademarks have been hijacked this way.
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Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
I got these links from Google, which seems to be slogan-less.
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-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
As I understand it, TradeMarks expire if they aren't used. That's probably what happened to McLobster.
I remember when the Canadian newspaper, National Post, was about to be launched, thier future competater, The Globe and Mail, trademarked all kinds of names for newspapers not to use them, but to limit the choice of names for the new paper.
I wonder if the first astronauts were given such manuals.
Altera, maker of FPGA chips, calls their parallel cable used to interface with the programmer "ByteBlaster". With a name like that, you'd think that it's at least somewhat special, but where I work, we don't buy any - we roll our own using a 25-pin parallel connector, a 10-pin ribbon cable and a 74AC244 octal tri-state buffer/line driver. That's all it is.
... is truly laugh worthy. ... as in Information Technology ... as in ...groan. Make it stop. I'm sure someone thought it was very clever and all but it's just too cute for its own good.
"Making it happen"
Seems innocious enough, right? Now here's the kicker. The CompSci department adjusts it slightly: "Making IT happen..." as in IT
My favorites are these
"Made For You" (tm)
"Hey, It Could Happen!" (tm)
"Immunize for Healthy Lives" (tm)
and what in heck is a "McMaco" (tm)?
To email, do the obvious.
For starters: They don't distribute tacky watches, let alone bad smelling perfumes and if you've ever had the doubtful pleasure to be a member in this Kinderkarten-Club, you wouldn't necessarily consider this brand a commercial endorsement.
ich bin der musikant
mit taschenrechner in der hand
kraftwerk
"I have no motto!" has always been my motto.
- - - If the sun is a star, why can't I see it at night?
one of the colleges here in buffalo has a special night program for continuing education. the deal is that you take 2 classes 2 nights a week and get 12 credits toward your B.A.
i certainly hope they're not trying to advertise anything even vaguely related to math education.
--saint----
...yawns...
That joke is older than your average script kiddie, and I've always heard it demean Windows users, not Mac users.
Try to come up with something original, kneebiter.
Ada(r) by DOD(!r)
By the way First Post
__________________
Just a guy with an opinion
I can't believe we are flaming trademarks here and no one has mentioned AdCritic yet. They have some really good speculation ads and spoofs... one of my favorites is the "Passengers Wanted" spoof on Volkswagon (sorry, all of there video is in quicktime format)