Gadget-Heavy Trucks For Fun And Mayhem

eeex writes: "The SmarTruck, built by the US army, is the ultimate Bond car, able to spill oil and tacks behind itself, equipped with bulletproof glass, a built-in grenade launcher and laser gun, electrified door handles, night vision devices, and more." And on a more civilian note, Irish writes: "alphaWorks is making some sort of car, a 2002 Ford Explorer called the TechMobile, that incorporates a funky combinations of technologies including communication middleware, voice recognitions car controls, and Bluetooth PAN." (Read more below.)

"The Bluetooth PAN will be created using BlueDrekar and Bluetooth Ethernet Emulator. You will be able to inter-connect PDA, cellphones, and a laptops to play games, exchange data, and control things like the doors, lights of the car, and stereo. TSpaces will be the backbone communication middleware for accessing and controlling the electrical functions of the car. They are going to use Blue Eyes, a user interface that detects a person's eyeballs and responds to blinking commands to turn on/off the lights and doors of the car. ViaVoice will perform voice recognition email management, voice-activated control of air conditioning in the car, as well as voice-enabled access to MP3 files through the car stereo system. The car will debut at a conference in San Francisco."

Comments

US Military "Smart"vehicles?

[Dr.Dubious DDQ]

I sure hope this works better than the Navy's "Smart Ship"...

("Major Emciessi! It's General Protectionfault on the phone! He demands to know why our SmarTrucks' laser keep spontaneously activating themselves and burning '1 0wn J00!' into nearby objects!...)

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Direct orders!

[ajs]

In case you haven't read the article, this very first paragraph stopped me in my tracks:

It was a direct order from the high command: Before designers at the Army's National Automotive Center in Warren began creating their first-ever concept truck, they had to watch four James Bond movies.

Wow. Generals *can* be geeks! ;-)

--
Aaron Sherman (ajs@ajs.com)

I see where this is going...

[devphil]

The SmarTruck, built by the US army [...] able to spill oil [...] behind itself

Only the Bush administration would be able to approve this and pull it off. The next SmarTruck after this will feature high-pressure hoses blasting oil for hundreds of feet to knock down walls, launching "hot-oil ballons" over hills to burst on enemy's heads, and creating an even bigger demand for more oil drilling.

This isn't meant for use as a weapon. It's meant to ensure Bush stays rich even after we have orbiting solar power sats sending us terawatts of free power via microwave beams.

:-)

Re:"Laser" weapon

[SirWhoopass]

Yes, the US does have destructive lasers. On June 7 of last year, the US Army shot down a missile using a laser. Here's a SpaceDaily.com story on the test. Here's a Slashdot story on equipping a 747 with a laser to shoot down missiles.

All wheel steering

[Exedore]

One of SmarTruck's advanced features, all-wheel steering, is due out on some 2002 GM vehicles.

All wheel steering really isn't that new. Honda Preludes had this feature in the late 80's to early 90's IIRC. Looks like GM uses Microsoft's definition of innovation. Still, the SmarTruck (wtf kinda name is that, anyway?) looks like the ultimate road-rage vehicle. Just the thing for those crowded L.A. freeways.

Bah! More tax money wasted.

[protein folder]

"The SmarTruck, built by the US army [...] able to spill oil [...] behind itself "

I could have just given them my 1986 Oldsmobile Delta 88, and saved them a few million dollars.

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New Army Recruiting Ad

[ColGraff]

We are ABOVE a third-world city street. Directly below us, the SmarTruck is zooming along at 75mph. Most of the traffic (animals, bikes, cars) is pulled over, but the SmarTruck is being pursued by four cop cars, and a helicopter. All are firing at the SmarTruck.

We SWITCH views to INSIDE the SmarTruck, our perspective is that of the proverbial bug on the windshield looking into the car. We see the Driver, a US Army enlisted man. In the passenger seat, but edging almost into the driver's seat is a Scantily-Clad Bond-Type Woman. Blonde, sexy, etc.

Woman: They're firing at us! We're going to die!
Army guy: (laughes) That'll be the day...

We see the Army Guy manipulating controls on the dash. After each button is pressed, we switch views to SEE: An oil slick and tacks spilling out of the rear bumper, and the cop cars skidding out of control. The laser turret pops out, and shoots down the helicopter. An approaching squad of evil-looking soldiers is exposed to tear gas and grenade volleys. We SWITCH back to the car.

Woman: Oh John, you saved out lives!
Army Guy: I never go out without protection.

The Woman starts to remove her shirt as we fade out to a montage of scenes of the SmarTruck in action.

Narrator: Be an army of one. Join today.

(end of ad)

Please note, it was not my intention to give offense. This is a simple spoof of US Army ads and James Bond movies. If I have given offense, I sincerely apologize.