Slashdot Mirror
Amusing Job Titles for Business Cards?
pastie asks: "I need to get some business cards printed, and want to put something more interesting/fitting as my role than just `developer' or `programmer'. So, what have the readers of Ask Slashdot seen/put on business cards which they thought was good/bad/cheesy?" We did these with our Slashdot business cards, and I saw several others with interesting titles at both LWCE's last year. Anyone care to share some interesting job titles they've seen on business cards?
I saw a guy with a business card that said "Gentleman Extrodanaire"... while I doubt that he was a real "man whore", I imagine that it's a really great way to start a conversation with a chick...
Screw "programmer"... go the pimp route =)
My boss's door placard says "Security Orangutan"
Of course it does describe him well...
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Notionologist?
Hint: it's the acronym, stupid! :-)
/cj
Systems Programmer/Anal yst
J Random Hacker
Systems Programmer/Anal yst
J Random Hacker
Systems Programmer/Anal yst
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"I personal[ly] think Unix is "superior" because on LSD it tastes like Blue." -- jbarnett
for a long time intel had a "minister of algorithms".
i recently saw "Web Master", but that wasn't a joke, the boss just thought it was supposed to have a space. I also saw "Porn King" recently.
Some of the funniest ones i have seen were at trade shows things like "code monkey" and "marketing weasle".
some of the ones i have used include "master of all time & space", "Social Engineer" and "Big Cheese". The social engineer one was the funest to have, once after convincing a marketoid at a booth to give me a t-shirt, he asked me what i social engineer was, i said "I convince people like you to give me things like this" and held up the shirt.
-- free as in swatantryam - not soujanyam.
How about "$NAME, Smart Cookie"?
I'm sure there are quite a few people for whom that phrase would be both more concise and more accurate than the alternatives.
Tarsnap: Online backups for the truly paranoid
Code Crafter
Code Poet
Electron Magician
Comput-o-Rooter
Computer Psychiatrist (or Psychologist, Dr, etc)
Bug Tamer
Totally Offtopic: While looking for some creative ones on the web (and coming up emtpy-handed), I found this list of funny names two guys got the folks at the airport to page. Funny stuff.
Portable versions of Firefox, GIMP, LibreOffice, etc
If it's clever and geeky you want, it's probably already been put on a t-shirt by Copyleft or ThinkGeek.
Also, the title of the head of the PRC space program roughly translates as "Director of Fire Arrows".
*whup* "Get along, little electrons. Heeyah!"
I am:
Blowfish Chef
we also got a:
Domesticated Bitmonkey
Master of space and time
Secret Squirrel
just some thoughts.
people make such a big deal about titles, which seems trivial until you start applying for subsequent jobs.
I've had a couple different ones - Galactic Overlord, Alpha Primate, and so on - but the one that most people that I've worked for recenly know me for (and the one that I've used at the last three or so jobs) is "Gun-Toting Psycho". (Inspired in part by a Red Meat comic strip.)
Well, time goes by, and things happen, and eventually my title and I got a mention in a front-page New York Times story about this very subject. (Can't find a URL right now, but it was about six or seven months ago.) Anyway, the higher-up types at The Company didn't take too kindly to me talking to the press without official sanction, and people were not happy all around.
I wound up leaving that job shortly thereafter, but I've still got my Gun-Toting Psycho name plate, and a whole stack of business cards...
O2 / CO2 Conversion Specialist.
Of course, depending on just how productive your job is, this may or may not be the right title for you...
Life is far too important to be taken seriously.
In '93 I went to Germany and flew Northwest/KLM. I figured that, given that it was a very long flight, it'd be worth my time to sign up for a Frequent Flyer program. The woman behind the desk was helpful, but she was so tired I thought she was going to fall asleep on me.
:)
So I decided to liven things up some, with dialogue I hoped would get a laugh out of her.
"Name?"
Robert Hansen, thanks.
"Middle initial?"
J.
"Company?"
The Society of Evil Geniuses Working Together for a Better Tomorrow.
"... I'm sorry, sir. That won't fit."
Okay. "Society of Evil Geniuses" will work.
"Thank you, sir. Job title?"
God-Emperor of the Infinite Multiverse. God-Emperor will do, if it won't fit otherwise...
"It won't. Please wait a minute while we get you entered into our system... there. Have a nice flight, God-Emper..."
At that moment, about five seconds after she entered me into the database, she realized what happened. She started laughing so hard she collapsed on the floor.
Today, I still get mail from Northwest/KLM addressed to "God-Emperor Robert Hansen, Society of Evil Geniuses".
My postman must think I'm some kind of weirdo.