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Amusing Job Titles for Business Cards?

Posted by Cliff on from the creative-naming dept.

pastie asks: "I need to get some business cards printed, and want to put something more interesting/fitting as my role than just `developer' or `programmer'. So, what have the readers of Ask Slashdot seen/put on business cards which they thought was good/bad/cheesy?" We did these with our Slashdot business cards, and I saw several others with interesting titles at both LWCE's last year. Anyone care to share some interesting job titles they've seen on business cards?

3 of 64 comments (clear)

  1. oh yeah by majcher · · Score: 4

    I've had a couple different ones - Galactic Overlord, Alpha Primate, and so on - but the one that most people that I've worked for recenly know me for (and the one that I've used at the last three or so jobs) is "Gun-Toting Psycho". (Inspired in part by a Red Meat comic strip.)

    Well, time goes by, and things happen, and eventually my title and I got a mention in a front-page New York Times story about this very subject. (Can't find a URL right now, but it was about six or seven months ago.) Anyway, the higher-up types at The Company didn't take too kindly to me talking to the press without official sanction, and people were not happy all around.

    I wound up leaving that job shortly thereafter, but I've still got my Gun-Toting Psycho name plate, and a whole stack of business cards...

  2. My personal favorite by ambclams · · Score: 4
    As a unemployed student-type, I've given some thought to getting a few business cards printed up with the following job title:
    O2 / CO2 Conversion Specialist.

    Of course, depending on just how productive your job is, this may or may not be the right title for you...

    --
    Life is far too important to be taken seriously.
  3. Short answer: Whatever you can get away with. by rjh · · Score: 5

    In '93 I went to Germany and flew Northwest/KLM. I figured that, given that it was a very long flight, it'd be worth my time to sign up for a Frequent Flyer program. The woman behind the desk was helpful, but she was so tired I thought she was going to fall asleep on me.

    So I decided to liven things up some, with dialogue I hoped would get a laugh out of her.

    "Name?"

    Robert Hansen, thanks.

    "Middle initial?"

    J.

    "Company?"

    The Society of Evil Geniuses Working Together for a Better Tomorrow.

    "... I'm sorry, sir. That won't fit."

    Okay. "Society of Evil Geniuses" will work.

    "Thank you, sir. Job title?"

    God-Emperor of the Infinite Multiverse. God-Emperor will do, if it won't fit otherwise...

    "It won't. Please wait a minute while we get you entered into our system... there. Have a nice flight, God-Emper..."

    At that moment, about five seconds after she entered me into the database, she realized what happened. She started laughing so hard she collapsed on the floor.

    Today, I still get mail from Northwest/KLM addressed to "God-Emperor Robert Hansen, Society of Evil Geniuses".

    My postman must think I'm some kind of weirdo. :)