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ED-209 Patrols University
Joel writes: "A security robot called Marvin is patrolling the corridors of Waikato University (New Zealand). Science students at the university's mechatronics laboratory built the 1.5m-high Machine, which runs on two 12-volt car batteries and can patrol the university corridors at up to 35 km/h."
yeah, but he kissed some ass w/the coffee machine that is right outside the door of the district court judge's office and he got them to find against ACME ;-)
...something along the lines of:
``Here I am with a brain the size of a planet and I'm on the lookout for students cooking in their rooms. I'm so depressed...''
--
CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
...of I shall be forced to activate the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator!
/.
/. If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example.
I'm sitting back in the Operations Armchair, watching the computer room closed circuit TV, which just happens to be connected to the frame-grabber's video player (sent off for repair, due back sometime in 2007) when the phone rings. That must be the 2nd time today, and it's really starting to get to me!
"Hello?" I say.
"Who is this?" they say
"It's me I think" I say, having successfully attended a telephone skills course
"Me Who?"
"Is this like a knock knock joke?" I say, trying to concentrate on the cute secretary picking up a jar of paperclips that somehow fell off her desk, via the security camera I located in her office last night.
"uhhh.... I have a problem here" says the slow drawly voice down the phone.
I hit pause on the video; can't concentrate with this voice whining in my ear. "What is your issue?" I enquire politely.
"I can't reach my keyboard from here - its too far away. Can I use a keyboard extension cable?"
I'm puzzled by this... I've done nothing to this particular beancounter moron lately that I'm aware of.
"Perhaps you've shrunk since you last used your workstation?" I suggest.
"No", says the user. "I'm hiding under my desk, because theres a tall white plastic scary robot wandering around."
I think - shit! is Christine Rankin in the office? Quickly I flick the CCTV on to channel 27, which covers that area of the building to find that its Marvin the new Security Droid (no, too star-warsy) Dalek (no, thats taken too) Big Scarey Robotic Vehicle (yeah) has ended up banging repeatedly against a table.
"I see the problem" I whisper down the phone. "Be very quiet - this unit has fantastic audio tracking techniques."
"errrp" is all I hear
"You need to sneak around your desk, to the rear of the robot, then put your arm around the front and press the button on the front. It's about 50 centimetres above the floor level. Remember - QUIET or else it'll hear you."
God I'm a bastard - the poor moron can't ask me any questions cos Marvin will hear him speak.
"Nod if you understand" On the CCTV I see him slowly lowers his head and raise it again.
"Go to it Tiger!" I encourage.
I can see the pleb clearly on the screen... he is quivvering with fear. He lays the phone handset gently down on the carpet and proceeds to crawl around the end of his desk.
This is amusing! I quickly shove another tape in the video recorder... ya never know when something blackmailworthy will happen...
Beancounter Bob has reached a position behind Marvin. He reaches his hand out slowly and ever so gently presses the button.
Immediately Marvin blurts out "EXTERMINATE!!!" and his head starts to rotate faster and faster. I quickly patch into the office PA system and yell out "RUN FOR IT!!!"
The twit jumps two metres in the air (I know - I measured it later) and runs out of the building screaming "RUN!!! IT'S COMING TO GET US ALL!!!"
Damn that was a good reset routine I slipped into the eprom data files down in the R&D labs.
(major appologies to Simon)
-- Criggie
The turning test? The robot is only intelligent enough to go straight then! I hope they have long corridors.
I'll do it for cheesy poofs.
Umm... I thought GPS worked by measuring doplar shift and time of arrival to compute a position fix. If you lengthen some or all of the signal paths randomly by reflections, the GPS could not calculate a precise position fix. It would however be able to tell the signal is poor and properly display the estimated position error as a large value. You would make your own building a SA encoder to the signal by providing random multipath signal timing errors. There would be no precise phase and time shifts of individual satelite signals to calculate an accurate position due to the added lengths of the reflected signal paths. For an real life example of this, drive downtown in a large city where the signal bounces between buildings to reach the ground. The signal is fair much of the time, but the positioning is lousy.
The truth shall set you free!
"The robot cannot exterminate people in Dalek fashion but is not far from thinking like a human."
Yeah right! Anyone who says this about any AI we have today is full of it.
Okay, since no one seems to be getting it... (What a surprise on \.) Simon Travaglia, writier of the Bastard Operator From Hell Series is employed (last time I checked at any rate) by Waikato University as a sysadmin.
TODO: Something witty here...
Isn't that slightly dangerous? I can see it now... robot comes swinging round a corner at 35kph and collides with a lecturer - but instead of stopping, keeps running, causing severe injury as it mutters "Kernel Panic"...
http://www.themeparks.ie
They say he'll be upgraded...do you know how often a working project is upgraded at a university?
"`The first ten million years were the worst,' said Marvin, `and the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.'"
www.code-fix.com
How long before he gets bored on the job and starts flirting with the vending machines?
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
Turns out the GPS on him showed him doing 35km/h in a hallway that had a posted speed limit of 25km/h. ACME car rental sent then a notice of the violation.
The benefit is research. They're not suggesting that people rush out and buy these things, they're learning stuff the old-fashioned way - by doing it.
If you want AI and autonomous robots and other (imho) cool tech like that to be developed, there's going to have to be a lot more "useless" stuff like this done first.
Cheers,
Tim
It's official. Most of you are morons.
Marvin: I'm afraid I have been left here to stop you.
Robber: You? Stop me? Go on.
Marvin: No, really I have.
Robber: What are you armed with?
Marvin: Guess
Robber: Guess?
Marvin: Yes, go on, you'll never guess.
Robber: Errmm... laser beam?
Marvin: No
Robber: No, too obvious I suppose. Anti-matter ray?
Marvin: Far too obvious
Robber: Yes... Er... how about an electron ram?
Marvin: No, not one of those
Robber: I know, you must have one of those new Xanthic Re-Struction Destabilised Zenon Emitters.
Marvin: Nice, aren't they?
Robber: That what you got?
Marvin: No.
...
And so on until the police arrive.
Credit to Douglas Adams.
This thing is worth $10,000? And it actively seeks out intruders?
(Squeal of robot tyres on floor tiles)
(Rumble of robot tyres on wooden ramp)
(Sound of van door slamming. Squeal of van tires on tarmac. Sound of cash register as Evildoer sells $10,000 robot.)
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Why the BOFH of course....
TODO: Something witty here...