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Nanotech: "Smart Fabrics"

Posted by michael on from the they-know-what-you-did-last-summer dept.

Reidar Gunn writes: "This article is about nano technology... I read it over to make sure I was really reading what I read! Red to Blue cloths, sizes going from bigger to smaller... Wonder if they'll make wireless clothes with a subscription service, Yah never know! Logo changing shirts eh!"

15 of 131 comments (clear)

  1. Re:subscription service by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Nahh - it just starts showing advertisements on your shirt, and if you get far enough behind, starts putting "Kick Me" signs on the back, and ranting about what a deadbeat you are.

  2. subscription service by paranoic · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just what I'd want, a Microsoft shirt that reads "Hacked by Chinese"

    1. Re:subscription service by Crazy+Diamond · · Score: 2, Funny

      After all you're just licensing the shirt! You don't own the shirt and must comply with the EULA or else the clothes will stop working! i.e. disintegrating into threads at the most inopportune times. I like this idea!

  3. I can see it now... by krugdm · · Score: 4, Funny

    Know someone you want to see killed? Hire someone to hack into his new turtleneck and set the size to "Petite" and strangle him to death.

  4. Towelly! by CerebusUS · · Score: 1, Funny

    I just want my Okama GameSphere.

    1. Re:Towelly! by Fishstick · · Score: 2, Funny

      Son of a bitch! Where is that @#$*! towel!?

      --

      There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
      Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.

    2. Re:Towelly! by cloudmaster · · Score: 4, Funny

      I don't see anything about the fabrics "getting high and just wandering off" in the article...

  5. I hope we can control this stuff remotely by billcopc · · Score: 3, Funny

    Red to Blue cloths, sizes going from bigger to smaller.

    How about an IR-remote that changes baggy t-shirts into semi-sheer micro-bikinis ? :)

    --
    -Billco, Fnarg.com
  6. Does the CIA fund this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    The last time I checked, MIT got a lot of funding from the Government.

    I bet some of it is from the TLAs. Do they have any involvement in the development of this technolgoy? I can see it now:

    TOP SECRET//NOPORN//ULTIMAC

    Classified by: X33

    Declassify on: X1

    Codeword: Astro Media

    Subject: Embedded Surveillance in Clothing

    Date: August 11, 2001

    To date, our research in digital clothing and embedding of complex circuitry has been hampered by the ultra-liberal activities of the MIT Media Lab and those employeed. There is no indication that they suspect our involvement. DSA is investigating but has not uncovered any leaks.

    With the recent discussion on the ultra-liberal, communist, open source site, Slashdot (www.slashdot.org), the redirection of our efforts appears to be successful. Our ultimate goals (and our financing of the efforts) have apparently been successful.

    The current goals are as follows:

    1. implement commercial features (size chages, color changes, and the like)
    2. develop passive tracking using passive embedded microwave responders
    3. create active tracking using embedded GPS
    4. implement active audio monitoring using sub-vocal detectors such as those around the throat
    5. prototype active video systems
    6. create active systems that can resize portions by 50% at a repetitive frequency of about 0.5 Hz (this will stimulate the use of our technologies by the skum of scoiety and the PORN industry)

    Believe it! Its real. Its here now. The TLAs are behind it. Watch yourselves! Is that new shirt really just a shirt?

  7. I might actually like this Idea by chowpalace · · Score: 1, Funny

    the thought of pop-under ads in my jeans... whooo hooooo

  8. That sounds great... by Regolith · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...until someone inadvertently uses it on Aunt Martha instead of the cute, petite college girl walking next to her. Just think of the damage to society you could cause with one of those things.

    --

    Bow before my sig, for it is good.
  9. Bagh! Humbug! by angry+old+man · · Score: 2, Funny
    Back in my day we didn't need a shirt that changed colors or went from one size to another.

    Our clothes would come in one respectable size and respectable color and it stayed that way. Nowadays all you kids and your fancy schmancy rayon or neon colors think that your clothes need to glow and look fancy. Now you even want your shirts to change sizes as you grow up.

    When I was a kid, I wore all of my older sisters shirts once she outgrew them and I liked it. When I outgrew these shirts I kept wearing them until my younger brother grew into them. This would often take about 2 years and the shirt would develop respectable worn marks and tears. My kid brother would eventually wear these clothes after they were thread bare and see-through and he liked it.

    --
    -vax computer, vi, lynx. 'nuf said
  10. Great... by ryanvm · · Score: 4, Funny
    Now I'll have to listen to my towels saying:
    Oh man, I'm so high I don't even know what's going on.

    Hint: It's not funny if you didn't see last week's South Park - and it's probably not funny even if you did.

  11. That's nothing! by prototype · · Score: 4, Funny
    I already have clothes that change sizes, fade and come pre-wrinkled. It's called being a bachelor. Why would I want some Borg technology injected into my laundry heap to do this? There's already something crawling inside of it, I just don't know what yet.

    liB

  12. GPS in the collar? by gnovos · · Score: 4, Funny

    At least now the arrow underneath my "I'm with Stupid" shirt will always be pointing in the right direction...

    --
    "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"