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How Can I Make More Of My Cubicle?
hv writes "I reside in a 10' x 10' space better than 12 hours a day... as do a lot of you. How do you make the most of the space? I'm looking for creative ways to add storage and unclutter the stacks of lab notebooks, USB peripherals and the O'Reilly Zoo that also inhabits my space."
You are not your Swedish furniture!
-Tyler
Thats Nothing!
Where I was working, they told me to move back, 'cause they had to put more boxes in my cubicle. ...somebody stole my stapler.
Then they made me move into the basement and told me to get some spray for the roach problem.
Then. Then, somebody stole my stapler. We had been using the Swingline stapler, and they wanted to switch, but I didn't want to switch. And they, they...
I'll burn down the building...
think Office Space
Where did you expect her legs to go?
I shedule frequent "meetings" with the cute intern down the hall.
This notice is being sent to inform you that your "geek" status has been revoked.
You have been found in violation of article 12, paragraph 7 of the Geek Code by noticing a member of the opposite sex. Furthermore, this offence has been aggravated by noting that member of the opposite sex as "cute", violating paragraphs 9 and 12 of article 17.
Please remove all O'Reily books from your shelf, disassemble two of your computers and return the parts to the original manufacturers, and disconnect all active internet connections at your home.
Failure to comply with the above request will result in severe penalties up to and including the installation of Windows 3.11 for Workgroups on all active computers in your home and Rosie O'Donnel pouring cold grits down your socks!
You've got a cubical? I dream of working in a cubical. Here, there's 150 of us working in a shoebox in the middle of the road.
Shop smart, Shop S-Mart.
Of Natalie Portman and Anna Kornikova
I could see a 'Hang in there' poster with a noose. It might cause problems with the management, but everything interesting does that.
Reboot macht Frei.
-----
Free P2P Backup, Windows & Linux
Stop bathing. Learn a new love for limburger cheese, raw garlic and onions. Keep a bowl of durians nearby as a snack.
When everyone moves out, take over their cubicles.
For more information on building a cubicle roof, see also this Ask Slashdot thread on building cubicle roofs.
Alex Bischoff
HTML/CSS coder for hire
Try raising a Bonsai Kitten You'll get attention from every animal lover in the office!
Meldroc, Waster of Electrons
Dude, get a life!
Fridge.
Of course! That's a given. But with a twist.
Okay. Here's a list.
Every now and then, dumping a little bit of compost heap activator (available at any gardening store) will help the disposal process.
Fire and Meat. Yummy.
1. Make sure your ventilation ducts are too small to crawl through.
/do/ have an energy weapon, right?) useless -- you will not be overrun by a handful of savages^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hmarketing consultants armed with spears and rocks.
2. Don't interrogate your co-workers in your cube. Use a small conference room outside your department.
3. Keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train yourself in their use. That way -- even if management manags to neutralize your power generator and/or render your energy weapon (you
4. Keep your pet monster in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which you could not accidentally stumble.
5. Dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw your manager into confusion.
6. Shave off your goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
7. Make sure your main computers have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
8. Hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine your cubicle and inform you of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that you might not know about.
9. Don't install a sentient computer smarter than you are.
10. No matter how many shorts you have in the system, treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
11. If all your co-workers are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt you, pull out a conventional weapon instead of using your unstoppable superweapon on them.
12. Do not shoot at any of your co-workers if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
13. Make sure that your doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
14. Cover your vats of hazardous materials when not in use. Also, do not construct walkways over them.
15. Do not design your Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
16. If you ever talk to HR on the phone, do not taunt them. Instead say that their dogged perseverance has given you new insight on the futility of your evil ways and that if they leave you alone for a few months of quiet contemplation you will likely return to the path of righteousness. (HR is incredibly gullible in this regard.)
17. Design your door mechanisms so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
18. Pad any data file of crucial importance to 1.45MB.
Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.
Get rid of those #@#$% Todd McFarlane models.
Careers should combine three things: what you can do, what you want to do, and what you can get paid for.
I find that about a quart of gasoline and a box of saftey matches clean out cluttered cubicles better than anything else.
:)
Have fun
StrategyTalk.com, PC Game Forums
Beer.
I've found that paper shredders make excellent storage bins. Just one holds reams and reams of memos!
Just be happy they haven't started stacking workers vertically, with ladders to get up to their cubes.
More Caffeine. NOW
ask the warden for a tin mug. Then clang it against the bars anytime you need some audio stimulation - it can get pretty bleak in there.
:0
Bryguy
microsoftword.mp3 - it doesn't care that they're not words...
My cubicle was so small, when I sat around the cubicle, I really sat around the cubicle.
10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face. 9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you're just kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of fucking queers. 8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting, put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie. Then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat That." 7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass fucking. 6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand down your pants. 5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race. 4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand. 3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point. 2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then when it stops, look down and say, "Oh." 1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and stick it in your ass. Return it and tell the person to smell it. When they tell you it smells bad, be like, "It should! I had it in my ass!"
Yum
Dogbert: "When I'm king, I'm going to make everyone my slaves and put them in boxes!" Dilbert: "People will never stand for that!" ...
Dogbert: "So how do you like your new box?"
Dilbert: "Cubicle."
Dogbert: "Box."
Dilbert: "Cubicle."
Dogbert: "Box."
Step 2: Start surfing Monster.com aggressively
Step 3: Get a new freaking job. No workplace that puts you in a 10' box is good enough to justify spending 12 hours a day on.
Get yourself a poster of Doris Day or Racquel Welch so that the warden doesn't see the hole that you are digging.
That's no cubicle. That's a friggin mansion.
Our VP's are in 10x10. Mine's more like 7x9.
Don't gripe to us because you're in the lap of luxury and can't figure out how to use it.
You never really know how close to the edge you can go until you fall off.
The odd snake or two to keep down the managers...
Fish tank is soothing.
Incense stick for atmosphere.
KILL THOSE @#$#$ FLOURESCENTS!
Nothing convinces me more that they are out to get me than the flourescents.
Persian rugs are nice.
Get a sheet of Popping plastic. (Know the stuff the poppaholics get off on? Used for packing monitors and the like? That's the stuff.) Anyway, get a sheet and put it under the carpet.
Watch the interesting dance visitors make when they stand on it!
Get a large sign for the entrance. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THE ERROR MESSAGE?" Listen for footsteps, hear the silence while they read the sign, hear the footsteps retreat never to return....
Interesting looking components that itchy fingers reach out to fiddle with, and find that they are wired to charged capacitors.
Whuhu. These cant be killed by any normal human.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
anotherone
And if you're a really dedicated worker, pick up a suspended sleeping bag (just like the ones astronauts use) to cut down on your commute from work. Make sure it's waterproof, so it can double as a curtain for a collapsable shower. And remove the fan off your CPU to turn it into an instant heating element (excellent for boiling water).
Oh, and a bunch of people suggested getting a fridge and filling it with beer. You could suspend it from the ceiling on a retractable steel cable.
I hope this helps.
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? Got a cordless screwdriver?
Anyways, what I usually do is to clean my desk once a month. Anything I haven't touched in the last month I put in somebody elses inbox.
I had the same problem a while back, and then I realized that there were only two viable solutions: I could either get a better job or create an interdimensional gateway to a small pocket dimension for storage purposes. I created the gateway, but my company had an explicit "no portals to other dimensions" clause in my employment agreement, and I lost my job. Believe me, that was tough to explain away on my resume.
Got Rhinos?
Attrition.org has a pic of a bunch of enterprising individuals who taped off the entrance to a cubicle and filled it with foam peanuts Here's the pic
Where are we going, and why are we in this hand cart?
Some of us have to work in one big, open room with only a desk and with 100 other yapping idiots.
I suspect that most of the people that claim to work 12 hours a day actually dork around with their fooseball and their boasts of how much they work such that they only work about 6 hours a day.
People who constantly work 12 hours a day start to produce crap code, too. Read some of jwz's early rants where he writes abount going to a concert and coming back to work after it. Then marvel at the POS that was Netscape.
Yes, I am bitter.